It’s time for my dogs to be given their heartworm medicine. How do I know this? Because Senator Jim Mountain Inhofe is saying Obama hates Christianity again.
Like clockwork, Inhofe once again stepped up to a microphone, this time on U.S. Senate floor, and said the President is suppressing the rights and values of Christians while praising Islam. This time he sold it as “Oklahomans told me.”
You can basically keep time by the Mountain Man’s baseless rhetoric. Who needs Google Calendar when Old Faithful spews at exact intervals? Remember, the heavenly bodies revolve around the senator.
“What’s that? Inhofe is saying Obama hates Christians again? The Moon must be a waxing crescent.”
Imagine the eye rolling from the other legislators when he steps up to the mic. I seriously doubt they even take a moment to break from their paper football game to show interest.
“Who’s next?”
“Jimmy’s going to talk about Obama.”
“Oh great. Dude, nice field goal!”
Now, if you are an Oklahoman who has complained to the mighty senator about the President bringing down the hammer on Christianity and praising Islam, PLEASE show me some examples! I must have missed that televised address. Maybe I didn’t hear about it because of the Sharia Law force field we installed after we added the ban to the state constitution.
Or maybe Inhofe and the affectionately titled “Derplahomans” should get over themselves. Probably not, their patriotic self-worth leaves the 1% in awe. Remember, these egos don’t run.
Hang on, sorry, this is an entertainment column. Here’s stuff to do!
Downtown Edmond Arts Festival
Friday – 10 am, Saturday – 11 am, Free
We don’t advertise too many Edmond events here on FNITBT. The reason being I hate them. Kidding, I have nothing against Edmondites, though the whole “we don’t do electric signs” thing is a little too highfalutin. You did give me my higher education. Actually I took it from your greedy hands. It’s all good.
The Downtown Edmond Arts Festival begins this weekend. In an obvious try at one-upmanship, the northern suburb waits till a week after the Festival of the Arts to figure out how they can be better. Because everything is better in Edmond.
Over 100 artists will show work and there will be plenty of fun, food and face painting. Rumor has it that inflatable jumping things will be present and we all love those. Matt Stansberry & the Romance will be playing a concert on Friday while The Wise Guys do their thing Saturday. Sounds like a good time to head north.
-
Biting the Apple
Friday & Saturday, IAO Gallery – 706 W Sheridan Ave, $30 and up
Do you need to see something, you know, “naughty?” Would you like to witness an event that will cause Sally Kern to damn you to hell? Well IAO Gallery will be happy to punch that ticket for you this weekend.
“Biting the Apple” is Oklahoma’s premier erotic arts show. Over 40 artists will celebrate sexuality and stimulate your five senses. Don’t ask me how, but I’m pretty sure Senator Inhofe would disapprove. Well, that’s what he’d say anyway.
So how are they satisfying your sense of taste? With culinary decadence obviously. Yeah, you were thinking something else. How can I tell? You’re blushing and you are terrible at hiding it.
That’s all I know. I guess you’re going to have to visit this sin den to find out the rest. Bring a towel. Why? I don’t know. I just needed a line to end this.
-
Josh Sallee, Deus Eyes, Jedidiah, and Werdoze
Friday, Twisted Root Gallery – 3012 N. Walker Ave.
Do you like the rap music? If you do then Twisted Root Gallery is the place to be. They will have the rap music.
A quartet of local hip-hop artists will be rapping at you. Josh Sallee is fresh off the release of his second album, “Know Society,” on Pairadime Music. I have to admit, he has a pretty nice website. It’s way above Geocities-grade. Impressive.
Werdoze is a duo in the vain of Outkast. I’m not trying to typecast them, they say it themselves their Facebook page. Another interesting note from their Facebook is their “founded” date, September 11, 1776. I seriously doubt this. I’m thinking more like this past St. Patrick’s Day. I do enjoy how they have exactly 432 influences.
I have a feeling Jedidiah and and Deus Eyes are just as weird. Everyone loves weird hip-hop. Go get hip-hopped out!
Have fun!
Adam Holt is a musician and a freelance journalist. He really needs to start these articles earlier.
Follow Adam on Twitter at @ArkansasFresh.