Junk Food Nation, let me tell you something that I love: Watching live baseball games…but especially when the First Pitch is AWFUL.

You know what the First Pitch is, right? A ceremonial snippet before the game starts where some celeb goes and throws a baseball from the pitcher’s mound to a player on the team. Usually that celeb is being honored for some reason, or its just a promo thing.  If you’re ever asked to throw a first pitch, the key is GET IT TO THE PLAYER CATCHING.  Don’t try to be fancy. You’re not Nolan Ryan. Just throw the ball to the player/catcher. And GET IT there.  Otherwise, you look like a moron.  And, unsurprisingly, celebs who have no prior baseball experience look like morons. Often.

Case in point: last night rapper 50 Cent threw a horrible first pitch at the Mets game:

Yeah, the plate’s over there, 50.

As a baseball fan, I love this stuff because it shows (1) that throwing a pitch is harder than it looks, (2) imagine if you were trying to blaze that ball in at 94 MPH like the pros do, and (3) hey, it’s celebrities who have gazillions of dollars looking foolish.  Everyone wins.

And it’s not just rappers that can’t throw either.  Athletes in other sports also can’t do it:

Yeah, that’s Green Bay Packer TE Jermichael Finley spiking the ball into the ground. He tried to be a tough guy and put some gas behind it…..jackass. (The best is the reaction of the guy standing at 2B behind Finley.  He just starts cracking up.)

How about Swaggy P – Lakers’ Guard Nick Young?  He just SKIES the ball nine feet over the catcher’s head:

I love how the real baseball players just start chuckling.

To be fair, it’s not like *I* could do any better.  I’d probably bounce the ball a couple times before it hit home plate.  But whatever.  Even if you’re not a fan of the national pastime, keep your eye out for awful first pitches, and let me know when you see one.

Today’s junk food: Herr’s Fire Roasted Sweet Corn Potato Chips!

Herr’s Fire Roasted Sweet Corn Potato Chips: The Money Shot

Oh Herr’s. Sometimes I love you. Sometimes I hate you.  And Lord knows I’ve reviewed plenty of your crazy ass products on this blog before. But now you’ve made Herr’s Fire Roasted Sweet Corn Potato Chips. Potato chips that taste like corn.  You have GOT to be kidding me.

Herr’s Fire Roasted Sweet Corn Potato Chips: Top them with corn flavor?

Herr’s Fire Roasted Sweet Corn Potato Chips are “topped” with the flavor of roasted sweet corn. Wait, that’s it? So, the flavor powder here is…sweet corn?  This isn’t some kind of potato chip – corn chip blend?  My head is about to explode.

Herr’s Fire Roasted Sweet Corn Potato Chips: 150 cal per serving

Herr’s Fire Roasted Sweet Corn Potato Chips: Natural

Herr’s Fire Roasted Sweet Corn Potato Chips contain “natural & artificial flavor.” What?? You’re not going to tell me what chemical combo you mixed to make these potato chips…taste like CORN!?

Herr’s Fire Roasted Sweet Corn Potato Chips: Standard look

Oh my God, these Herr’s Fire Roasted Sweet Corn Potato Chips smelled like corn. Artificial corn smell. I wasn’t sure whether to be scared or impressed. Time to munch…

Herr’s Fire Roasted Sweet Corn Potato Chips: Light flavor powder

MY GOD. OK, I’ll just come out and say it – these Herr’s Fire Roasted Sweet Corn Potato Chips tasted EERILY like sweet corn. Like buttery sweet corn. No joke.  I am so confused.

When I popped one of these chips into my mouth, I tasted the immediate taste of buttery sweet corn! Everything about it – the sweetness of the corn, the buttery coating, all of it – stimulated my tastebuds and filled my nostrils. The weird thing was I could tell this flavor came from powder – as I chewed, the corn flavor went away and the flavor of the salty salty potato chip came back through. (So salty.  Cool it, Herr’s! I’m trying not to dehydrate over here.)

But yeah, since the flavor came directly from the powder, I was sort of unnerved – this almost-perfect corn taste was definitely coming from whatever flavor chemicals and powders coated the outside of these chips. It seemed unnatural – the corn flavor was so SWEET. Even though these didn’t taste bad, at all, it was the fact that these tasted so perfect that was the problem for me. So so weird. I don’t know whether to keep shoving these into my mouth or to go screaming for the hills.

If you get a chance to try these, I’d say do it – I want to know what you think.  Amazingly, even though it appears that these chips came out only this year, my friend the Foodette reviewed these chips when they first appeared back in 2012 as a limited edition! Read her review here.

Happy hump day, JFN! See ya tomorrow.


COST: $2.58

Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.


Junk Food Guy

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