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The Joy of Six: missed putts (from Sanders to Hoch )
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8.03pm BST
A bogey for Sergio at 17. He's back to +4, and any faint hopes of a charge in the wake of that excellent birdie putt at 11, and crisp tee shot at 12, have gone now. "Sergio is clearly Brazil, 1982," argues Seth Levine. "Easy on the eye, insanely talented, but fundamentally rubbish at the boring but quite important stuff (defending/ putting)." On the subject of round-the-green meltdowns, Kevin Stadler was in greenside sand at 13 in two strokes, but took two shots to escape, and failed to drain a 30-footer to save his par. He's back to -2. A poor start to the round for the defending champ Adam Scott, by the way, who drops one down the 1st. Let's have a look at this leaderboard, then:
-8: B Watson (17)
-4: Haas (5)
-3: Bjorn (F), Weir (9), Walker (7), Choi (6)
-2: K Stadler (13), Senden (11), Couples (7), Scott (3)
7.54pm BST
Bubba isn't the only man ripping up the course right now. The 2003 champion Mike Weir - a trailblazer for Watson, in that he was the first left-hander to win the Masters - is out in 32 strokes, having picked up shots at 2, 6, 8 and no 9. The Canadian shot a one-over 73 yesterday, flying well under the radar. He's blown his cover now. He's -3 overall, and tied for third with only Bubba and Bill Haas better off.
7.52pm BST
Thanks to Rob for that. An enjoyable break, my digestion only ruined by the stomach-churning tumult of watching poor Kevin Stadler and Jonas Blixt taking turns to run up double-bogeys at 11. Blixt has dropped back to -1, but Stadler, who fell to -2, picks up a shot again at 12: he's -3. But today's all about Bubba, really, whose astonishing run of five birdies on the bounce was positively Normanesque. That's come to an end at 17, but at -8 he's got a four-stroke lead on the field. A couple of players will have to make a wee move this afternoon, if this weekend isn't going to turn into a procession.
7.44pm BST
Rory McIlroy is out and has started with a routine par. After a solid opening round yesterday, he needs to start attacking these pins, whatever he thinks about the course being "set up to curb any sense of adventure". That's especially true now as Watson has now gone to eight undee! An incredible fifth birdie in a row for Bubba at the 16th leaves the American seven shots clear of McIlroy who is now certain to drop at least one shot at the second. Oh dear.
7.35pm BST
Worrying picture of the day. Louis Oosthuizen searching for his ball at the 15th.
7.27pm BST
The Bubba blitz continues, his fourth birdie in a row, this time at 15, taking the leader to seven under. Whisper it quietly, especially within earshot of Rory McIlroy, but Watson is making the old course look tame. His brilliant exhibition of precision putting has sent him three clear of the field, but it will be those further behind who will be watching on most anxiously. At one point earlier today the 10-shot rule looked like it was going to save all but 15 of the tournament starters, but no more. The last thing you want to want to be doing right now is triple-bogeying, but Mickelson has done exactly that at the 12th. The wild thing is now seven over and in serious danger of going home tonight.
7.13pm BST
Evening all. A pleasure to be with you and it brings me almost as much joy to let you know that Fred Couples is on the charge again. The 54-year-old, who won the tournament back in 1992 and always seems to be knocking around the top of the leaderboard for the first two days at least, has followed up his first round 71with birdies at two and three. He says he is doing it for the 50-somethings, and who would back against him. He's now three under, three off the lead.
6.59pm BST
Right, I'm off to put my face in a big bowl of the only food-flavored food item to be marketed by a talking golf glove. In the meantime, Rob Bleaney will be your trusty guide.
6.52pm BST
Admin latest from the marker's tent. Matt Kuchar ended the day with a 71, and is level par for the first two days of work. Louis Oosthuizen, leading not so long ago, is on that level-par mark too, having finished with a bogey up 18, a dismal close to his round after that eagle at 13 was cancelled out (and then some) by a triple bogey at 15. And Branden Grace has illustrated why we all love and hate golf in equal measure, following up yesterday's nightmare 84 with a three-under 69. At +9, he'll still be going home tonight, but at least he's regained a little pride.
6.47pm BST
It's all happening at the top now, where KJ Choi moves into a tie for second, following up his opening-hole birdie with another at 2. He's -4. Forgot to mention Stephen Gallacher, incidentally: he birdied 15, and eventually signed for a rollercoaster par round of 72, four birdies, four bogeys. A gentle rollercoaster, anyway. A log flume. That 72 goes alongside his opening-day 71. He's -1 the halfway mark, and nicely poised for a weekend tilt at doing what no Scotsman has done since Paul Lawrie in 1999. You know what that is.
6.44pm BST
The overnight leader Bill Haas is out. And what a difference a day makes, as he drops a shot at the opening hole to fall back to -3. Or does a day make such a difference? He dropped one at the 1st yesterday, too, and went on to shoot 68. Meanwhile Jimmy Walker, with two PGA Tour events in the bag since the turn of the year already, really does fancy a third at this, his Masters debut. He birdies 2 to move to -3 overall.
6.40pm BST
Bjorn gets home for his 68, but not in the easy-going manner you'd imagine: a bogey at 17, a birdie at 18. He's in the clubhouse at -3 for the tournament, two off the lead. Sheer brilliance from the Danish veteran. Speaking of veterans, Freddie's on the march. As much as a man with such insouciant elegance as Couples would ever march. Another birdie at 3, and he's -3 for the tournament too. "Sergio = Newcastle," suggests Rob Hisnay. "The 1996 Newcastle meltdown in particular. I would just love it , I mean love it, if Sergio won the Masters." This kind of puts his nemesis Padraig Harrington in the role of Manchester United, doesn't it. I suppose neither of them are having very good 2014s.
6.36pm BST
Bubba can't make his eagle putt. It's always going to stay out on the left, but he leaves himself a foot-long tap-in for birdie, and moves to -5. He's the sole leader of the Masters. Sergio prods at his short birdie putt like a confused bonobo examining a teapot that may or may not be full of water. Par. For goodness sake, Sergio! "Watching Sergio is like watching Jimmy White back in the day," sings a lyrical James Taylor. "No matter how good he looks and how smoothly he plays, you know the easy putt when he's under pressure is going to get him in the end. What's wonderful though is that without fail he's a joy to watch, and without sportsmen like him and White, watching would be far less compelling."
6.30pm BST
Nobody's got to -6 yet this week. The nearest we've been is Marc Leishman, who made it to -5 earlier today ... but is now +1, having recently double bogeyed 9 and dropped a further shot at 10. That's a pretty sorry capitulation. Anyway, Bubba has an eight-foot putt to reach that virgin territory, having creamed his second to 13 over the creek and into eagle range. Sergio lays up, then gives himself a decent chance for birdie with a chip that bites dead, six feet behind the hole.
6.26pm BST
Two-putt birdies at 13 for two of the pre-tournament favourites, Henrik Stenson and Jason Day. Stenson is back to +1, Day +3. Neither are out of this tournament, but Day especially needs to get something going over the closing holes. Closer to the business end of the leaderboard are KJ Choi and Freddie Couples. Choi moves to -3 after picking up a stroke at the opening hole. Meanwhile our hero from 1992 birdies 2, and he's -2 overall.
6.23pm BST
Sandy Lyle signed for a level-par 72 today. Not bad for the old boy, huh? He's +4, and will be here for the weekend. The projected cut will see all those at +7 and above chased away with sticks. That's no good for last week's PGA Tour winner, the Shell Houston Open champ Matt Jones: he's filed a 78 alongside his first-round 74, a total of +8. "With all respect it can't be Arsenal," writes Hubert O'Hearn. "Arsenal won Premier League titles before I started plucking grey hairs. It needs to be the individual, the one who continually threatens greatness, yet through hubris or a protruding Achilles waved insouciantly before the opposing archer's eye, is left to moan of what might have been. And that's why we love them. Arsenal can't win the League (at present) because they won't pay over market price for a striker. Well, no romance in that. But Sergio suffering sudden and unforeseen bursts of self-doubt and blame? Damn. Now that is Shakespearean."
6.17pm BST
Bubba made a 10 at the 12th last year. He may still do this time round, of course, but that will have to happen tomorrow or Sunday. Today, he's tapping in for a richly deserved birdie, and is back in the lead at -4 alongside Kevin Stadler and Bill Haas. No Blixt, though, as he's just dropped a shot at 7. Sergio nearly rattles in his long birdie putt, incidentally, but must make do with his par. "As much as I like the question, Sergio is Sergio," argues Simon McMahon. "He stands alone. Although if I was pushed, I'd have to say he is the golfing equivalent of the Scotland football team." You might have nailed it there. The headline they put on this old tat would pretty much sum Sergio up, too.
6.13pm BST
Shot of the day on 12 by Bubba Watson, who hits a gorgeous short iron to three feet. That's surely a birdie, and a share of the lead. Sergio, now back to +3 and surely just doing this to annoy now, finds the front of the green and will have a 20-footer for another birdie. It's too early to re-embrace hope with regards to Garcia, but if he rakes that in ... well, you never know. Meanwhile some news of erstwhile 1970s Capitol Records artiste Lucas Glover: the former Brian Wilson lookalike birdies 13, 17 and finally 18, and he's scribbling his name on a card that also says 69. That puts him level par for the tournament, after yesterday's 75, and in pretty good shape for the weekend.
6.08pm BST
Oosthuizen's membership of the leading group at -4 is no more. He's just suffered an Augusta meltdown on 15, laying up then dumping his approach into water, and following that by three-putting. That's a triple-bogey 8. Ouch. I suppose he can console himself by arguing that he's only +1 for the two par fives there, having eagled 13. But he's not going to do that, is he. He's back to -1 for the tournament.
6.06pm BST
Stenson makes a hash of 12, sending his tee shot off the back left of the green, then duffing his chip somewhat, leaving himself a 20-footer for par. That's not going to happen on a green as awkward as this. And sure enough, he drops a shot. He's back to +2. Meanwhile on 11, SERGIO RAKES IN HIS LONG BIRDIE PUTT!!! How can he make a birdie on such a difficult hole, yet miss one-foot putts, like he did yesterday (on, if memory serves, 15)? How? How and why? These two questions are, I feel, the very essence of Sergio. "Surely Arsenal is the Sergio Garcia of English football?" suggests Jamie Walden. "Constantly building up your hopes, getting to a point where they can almost taste glory, and then kicking everyone who believed in them - full pelt - directly in the nads. For eight years straight. Can you tell I'm an Arsenal fan?" Yep, it's as crystal clear as our enduring love for Sergio. Which, along with cockroaches, will be the last things standing in the event of a nuclear war.
6.00pm BST
Here comes Bubba, making his way through Amen Corner. His approach to 11 is decent if not spectacular, in the meaty bulb of the green to the right of the lake. He'll have along two-putt for par. Sergio's in his group, and he's clapped his second pin high to 25 feet, a really decent and brave approach. But he's only doing this because he's dropped another shot at 9, is at +4, and feels safe in the knowledge that nothing really matters any more.
5.57pm BST
Aye, Bjorn means it. He records a third birdies on the bounce, this one at 16. He's -4 for his round, on course for a 68 right now, and that puts him at -3 for the tournament. He's a shot off the four-way lead, currently held by Oosthuizen, Kevin Stadler, Blixt and Haas (who has yet to set foot on Augusta National's lush green carpet).
5.54pm BST
Thomas Bjorn really means this. He's now birdied 15, and he's -2 for the tournament. Meanwhile it's still not quite happening for his fellow Scandinavian Henrik Stenson, who bombs his approach at 11 over the water and through the green, then leaves his chip back a little short of the hole. He's faced with a testing ten-footer for par, but he makes it. Nails. He's still +1, though that's only five off the lead of course. Which, given he's been distinctly average so far this week, is a pretty fine result. If he can just crank it all up a little bit, he'll not be far away.
5.42pm BST
SteadyBubba is no more, slain by the beast that is Augusta National. It was never going to last. Watson drops his first shot of the 78th Masters Tournamant. A bogey-free 69 yesterday, and he nearly reached the turn without suffering today, too. But he's dropped a shot at 9, and slips out of the lead, back to -3. It takes some doing to go 27 holes before dropping one round here, mind you. Amen Corner coming up for Bubba. I wonder how it'll affect him? It's going to be fun finding out, isn't it.
5.40pm BST
Thomas Bjorn isn't going away. He's just birdied 14, and once again bounces back up to -1 for this tournament. Can he stay there this time? Meanwhile Kevin Stadler birdies 5, his second of the day, and he's in a tie for the lead at -4 . "Who is Sergio is any other sport?" wonders Hubert O'Hearn. "Football prodigies who flame out are an annual event, so it can't be that. But who else in whatever other sport makes us kinda sorta believe year after year, tournament after tournament that the clouds might clear and the sun god will appear? He is the Irish summer of athletes - rumoured more than witnessed. Oh, and if I had to choose an answer to my own question? The late Vitas Gerulaitis in tennis." That's a great question, and one I don't have any good answers for. Jimmy White in snooker? Can we have teams? If so, how about Liverpool FC in the Premier League? Somerset CCC? Wales at the Rugby World Cup? I can think of a few journalists to whom the Sergio Rule might apply, but it's probably best not to open that particular can of worms.
5.26pm BST
Two solid rounds I've yet to mention today. The 2000 winner Vijay Singh has just birdied 13, and is -2 for his round and +1 overall. Behind him, Gonzalo Fernandez-Castano boasts identical figures; he's -2 today after back to back birdies at 8 and 9, and is also at +1 overall. On the same mark: Henrik Stenson, who was much fancied to do something this week, but hasn't quite got himself going yet. He's level par for his round, after birdie at 3 and bogey at 5. He's not out of this, but he'll need a good back nine to put himself into a decent position for an attack over the weekend.
5.21pm BST
That should have read "a share of the lead with Bubba, Bill Haas and Jonas Blixt". For the in-form Swede has just picked up his second birdie of the day, this time at 3, to move to -4 himself. Meanwhile Kevin Streelman, out in the first pairing, is the current clubhouse leader. No huge claim, but there it is. He dropped a shot at 17, but signs for a one-under 71 to go with his level-par 72. He's -1 for the tournament, and in good nick for the weekend.
5.18pm BST
Oosthuizen taps his eagle putt at 13 down towards the hole. It's a confident rap, and it's clearly going to drop from the second it leaves the face of his putter. Sergio should take notes. And then read the notes. That eagle takes him to -4, and a share of the lead with Bubba and Bill Haas. Oosthuizen's playing partner Kuchar is going along nicely, too, with a birdie that brings him to -1 for the tournament.
5.15pm BST
Anyway, Sergio. A scrappy finish yesterday, with three bogeys in the last five holes, left him on +2 for the tournament. But he was out in the most testing conditions, and would have been hopeful of making an impact this morning. You know what's coming, don't you? He dropped a shot at 1, then another at 6. He's picked up a shot since then, at 7, and through 8 he's +3 for the tournament, but unless he does something brilliant or very stupid, and in fairness both outcomes are possible, he's probably best forgotten in this report now.
5.13pm BST
What a shot by Oosthuizen on 13! He's sent his drive down the right of the par-five, and his long iron into the green arrows straight at the flag, taking a bounce by the side of the cup, then rolling six feet past. What an eagle chance he's given himself there! It's not quite up there with his albatross at 2 in 2012 - come along, be reasonable - but that's a pretty damn spectacular one nevertheless.
5.10pm BST
"Come on, now!" Oo-er! An angry reader. It's Steve Buist! "How can Canadian Graham DeLaet not earn 10 out of 10 on the Nilsson-o-meter? Look at the evidence! Granted, you need a beard like that to stay warm in Saskatchewan." In fairness, I didn't say there weren't players who went up to 11. Anyway, speaking of the man, he's just been incredibly unfortunate on the 11th. He shot 80 yesterday, and needs a minor miracle to avoid the cut. What he doesn't need is to see a wondrous 50-foot birdie rake slow down at the right-hand side of the hole, take a wee look over the precipice, then tiptoe round to the back and stay out. A hair's breadth from dropping, if you will.
5.04pm BST
It really is unravelling for Leishman. Birdie-birdie-birdie to begin, and now he's handed the third of the three shots back. After bogeys at 5 and 6, he appeared to have stemmed the tide with his first par of the day at the par-three 6th, but another shot's gone at 7, and he's back to where he started the day, -2.
5.02pm BST
Kuchar so unfortunate on 12. He clacks his tee shot pin high, 20 feet from the flag, and miles from the bother that's all around this hellish wee troublemaker of a hole. He then strokes a lovely birdie effort across the green, but it breaks to the right at the very last turn. He just needed one more joule of energy, and he'd be into the red figures. As it is, he remains at level par. He looks happy enough with his lot, but then he's Matt Kuchar, he always looks happy enough with his lot.
4.58pm BST
Kevin Stadler continues in his quest to match the achievement of his father Craig, the 1982 winner. Stadler, who already has one 2014 tour win under his belt - no cheap shots, please - birdies the long 2nd to move to -3. He's joined there by another of yesterday's heroes, Jonas Blixt who, in the group behind, matches Stadler's feat. Just a little bit more meaningful movement at the top of the leaderboard now. Which reminds me ...
-4: B Watson (7), Haas
-3: Leishman (6), K Stadler (3), Blixt (2), Scott
-2: Oosthuizen (11), Woodland, walker, Choi, Snedeker
4.52pm BST
Bubba's been going par crazy this week so far, but his long run comes to an end at 7. That's because he's just birdied 7, to grab a share of the lead at -4. He's yet to drop a shot in this year's tournament! Oosthuizen has reached 11, meanwhile, and he's faced with a tricky 12-footer to save his par. He's dead-eyed, though and in it whistles. He remains at -2.
4.45pm BST
Jose-Maria on the march! He shot 74 yesterday, birdied 5 today, and has now sashayed around Amen Corner as though it was the 1987 Ryder Cup all over again! Par at 11, par at 12, and now he eases his third to the par-five 13th to a couple of feet, and he's never missing that putt. Birdie, and he's -2 for his round, and level par for the tournament. It's not going to happen, it's obviously not going to happen, but just imagine if it was Ollie who ended Europe's 15-year drought at the Masters, given he was the last man to win it from over this way, back in 1999. Imagine what a lovely world we'd live in. "Peter Sharples is indeed very wise," opines Andrew Clark, "other than that Andy North won the US Open twice."
4.36pm BST
Birdie for Streelman at 16, and he's sitting very comfortably now at -2 overall, closing in on the clubhouse. He'll be in fine fettle for the weekend if he's able to keep himself tucked in there. Shot of the day so far by Nick Watney, whose tee shot at 12 is clipped to a couple of feet. He taps in for his birdie, and is +2 for the tournament. And it's beginning to unravel for poor old Leishman, who has just handed back another shot to the field, with bogey at 5. He's yet to par a hole today, he's -1 for his round, and -3 for the tournament. He's back alongside the reigning champion Scott, and the previous winner Bubba, Haas out alone again at -4.
4.31pm BST
Hunter Mahan (Nilsson rating: 10) birdies 2; he's only +1 overall now. Matt Kuchar's on the move, with a birdie at 10. He's -1 for the tournament, having picked up two strokes today. And having just clarified the Stephen Gallacher situation, he's gone and dropped a shot at 11, and is back to level par overall. "Id say theres a big difference between one-major wonders who won two or three times over their careers (Andy North, Todd Hamilton) and those who were multiple career winners (Woosie, even Cink and Furyk)," writes the very wise Peter Sharples. "You could argue this club therefore has two categories overachievers and under-achievers. But Watson winning the 2009 Open? Good for the game if a near-pensioner with a false hip won the showcase event?" Yep! Yes sir! I've never been quite sure what the problem with that would be. Nobody's stopping the younger lads from going to the gym to try to steal a march, after all, which 99 times out of a hundred they do. And anyway, if I wanted to watch athletes, I'd watch athletics.
4.23pm BST
It can never last around Augusta. Even your Phil Mickelsons and Greg Normans hit a wall eventually. And so Marc Leishman's hot start cools, with a dropped shot at 4. He drops back alongside Bill Haas at -4. Louis Oosthuizen is looking to rebuild his challenge, meanwhile, with a birdie at 8. He's still +1 for his round, but back to -2 overall. Meanwhile Bubba is doing what he did yesterday, and playing it nice and steady early doors. He parred 11 of the first 12 holes in his first round, and he's parred the opening five holes of his second. And where were we last with Stephen Gallacher? I'm not sure I reported his birdie at 8. If I did, apologies for wittering on, but either way, he's now level par today through 10 holes, and -1 for the tournament.
4.19pm BST
Lyle managed to get up and down from that awful position at the back of 12, by the way. He remains +1 for his round today, and +5 for the tournament. "Does G-Mac (is using that moniker now hopelessly passe? It is, isn't it?) cause significant oscillation on the Harry Nilsson-o-meter?" wonders Nick Lewis. "Or is that beard just a bit too neatly trimmed? Although the wee paunch (I really pay too much attention to this) is suggestive of a liking for a load of ale and a lost weekend. After a rare missed cut, natch." I've now got a mental image of McDowell and Rory McIlroy wandering the sidewalks of New York at carouse o'clock with feminine hygiene products sellotaped to their foreheads. Yoko will be worried about them.
4.11pm BST
We have a new overall leader! Marc Leishman, who led here after the opening round last year, and finished in a tie for fourth, is hoping to go three better this time round. He's just carded his third birdie in three holes, at 3 no less, and he's -5 for the tournament. "Your musings about Ben Curtis and Thomas Bjorn got me thinking about how one-time European major winners are thought of in the US," writes Matt Emerson. "Do people like Darren Clarke and Ian Woosnam get put into the same sort of category we reserve for the likes of Ben Curtis and Stewart Cink?" Setting aside the fact that Cink is in a special category all of his own, as the wrecker of All Humankind's Dreams, Hopes & Desires, you would hope so, yes. Unfairly traducing the reputation of elite-level sports stars is half of the fun of following professional sport. Give me a bitchfest over banter any day. Also, the cathartic joy of sounding off like a foghorn apart, it's quite nice to be sometimes proved wrong, too. I've sort of (sort of) come round to Curtis over the years, on account of some decent showings in other majors. Todd Hamilton, not so much, it's legitimate to stand by that one.
4.00pm BST
Some other movers and shakers: Thomas Bjorn, who started out with a pair of birdies, handed both strokes back with bogeys at 4 and 5. But he's obsessed with pairing them up today, and birdies at 7 and 8 sees him back up to -1 for the tournament. Henrik Stenson has birdied 3, and he's level par for the tournament. Glover has dropped back to +2 after bogey at 9. And Sandy Lyle visits the 12th tee for the second time, on this occasion sending a ball arcing into verdant hell back left of the green, then losing grip of his club and balancing it on his left shoulder awhile. He's been nothing if not spectacular.
3.56pm BST
A hot start by Marc Leishman, and the man from down under has moved to the top of the leaderboard. Once one Australian wins this thing, everyone seems to want a piece of the action. Anyway, he's added a birdie at 2 to the one he carded at the opening hole. He's now -4, and it's probably worth putting up our first leaderboard of the round, isn't it?
-4: Leishman (2), Haas
-3: B Watson (3), Scott
3.52pm BST
A brilliant up and down from the bunker front right of 12 by Streelman, and he remains -1. But he's in trouble at 13, laying up, then hitting his third straight past the pin and down the back of the green. That's a testing up and down for par. Which he makes. Solid stuff. Meanwhile back on the 12th tee, Sandy Lyle. Problem is, he's playing 11. His ball whistled onto the tee box just as Branden Grace, struggling away at +10, was hitting his shot. Happily, the ball doesn't hit the South African, who hits a gorgeous effort pin high, eight feet from the flag. You'll not see many better shots here today. Well done, Sandy!
3.48pm BST
Matt Kuchar, who threw away the Houston Open last weekend, is at least in form, if not with a fresh winner's cheque in his pocket. He shot a one-over 73 yesterday, and has bounced back well from an opening-hole bogey, with back-to-back birdies at 6 and 7. He's level par, and will be worth keeping an eye on this weekend if he posts a score today. Top ten finishes here for Kuchar in the last two years, and he's regularly been there or thereabouts in all the majors of later. Surely his time will come soon? You sense that it's only the stuff between his lugs that's stopping him. Call it the Sergio effect. (Older readers will know this as Monty syndrome.)
3.44pm BST
Larry Mize, then. The man who chases Greg Norman over broken glass in his dreams has just played 11, where he holed that ludicrous chip to snatch the 1987 tournament from under the Great White Shark's nose. He's just raked in a monster par putt, the best part of 40 feet, and remains at +1 for the tournament. He loves this hole. "I can't look at Bubba without thinking of his Ryder Cup tee off followed by running down the fairway high fiving the crowd," writes Richard Simpson. "He is Ron Burgundy." Yes, he's great, isn't he. You have to love Bubba. Though in that context, he's very much a poor man's Boo Weekley, who spent the majority of the 2008 Ryder Cup riding his driver like a horse.
3.35pm BST
Lucas Glover, who won the 2009 US Open, the one everyone wanted David Duval to win, appears to be in the mood today. He opened with a birdie, and though he dropped one at 4, has just picked up shots at 7 and 8 to move to +1 overall, after his opening round of 75. He's clean shaven again, which is something of a shame as I appreciated his look of 2011, which registered 7 on the Harry Nilsson-o-meter (for the record, only Hunter Mahan from the world of golf has ever given a reading of 10). Anyway, this is possibly not what you're here for. Marc Leishman has picked up where he left off yesterday: a closing birdie at 18, and now an opening birdie this morning. He's -3 for the tournament and tied for second alongside his compatriot Adam Scott and Bubba.
3.23pm BST
Bubba's out, and he's parred the first. High hopes for Bubba today, he's wonderful to watch. His drive at 13 yesterday was hilarious, taking out the dogleg by simply booming over the trees. Stephen Gallacher's down-and-up-and-down second-round continues apace: after picking up that shot at 6, he's just handed the damn thing straight back at 7, and is back to level par. Up on 11, Points registers an easy par. Streelman manages it too, though he larrups his first putt a good 12 feet past the hole, and is required to roll in a (rather brilliant and calm) left-to-right slider to remain at -1. He looks pretty pleased with himself as he trots off the green, disaster having been avoided. Which, around Amen Corner, is all you can ever really hope for. Anything else is the biggest of bonuses.
3.19pm BST
The first group out has arrived at Amen Corner. DA Points is labouring at +7, but from the top of the hill he's just creamed his iron straight into the heart of the green. So many players yesterday, worried about dumping their ball in the water front left of the green, pushed their approach wide right into the Larry Mize Valley, and while the local boy won the 1987 Masters by chipping in from there, it ain't so easy getting up and down normally. I'd guess, a rough estimate of course, that 100 percent of those following Points would take a facsimile copy of his shot here. It's pin high, 25 feet from the flag. A birdie unlikely, but then so's a bogey. His playing partner Kevin Streelman, at -1 and with perhaps more to lose, plays the shot more conservatively, only just finding the green on the far right, well away from the drink. A long two-putt for par.
3.08pm BST
So much for the theory that Augusta will be offering up opportunities this morning. Oosthuizen has dropped back to -2 after shedding a stroke at 4. None of the other players who carded sub-par rounds yesterday are out yet, save the aforementioned Gallacher - who has just birdied 6 to move back to -1, level par for his round today - but the early trends suggest it might be equally tough going all round today. No early birdie blitzes, though former champions Larry Mize and Jose-Maria Olazabal are both -1 for their rounds today and +1 overall.
2.52pm BST
Bjorn slips back to level par for the tournament with a bogey at 4. Another European slipping out of the red figures: Francesco Molinari, who has opened with a bogey. And Kevin Streelman's outward stretch has ended on a sour note, with a bogey at 9. He's back to -1 for his round, and -1 for the tournament.
2.48pm BST
A slightly stodgy start from Scotland's Stephen Gallacher, who has followed up three pars with a bogey at 4. He's back to level par for the tournament. I wonder if he's still thinking about that preposterous, Sergioesque miss on 15 yesterday, a short uphill gimme that'd have earned him an eagle and a nice crystal bowl from the good folk of Augusta National? A birdie was scant reward for one of the shots of the week so far, a wood sent sailing serenely over the water and straight into the heart of the green, to a couple of feet. A real shame, as it was the perfect response to a mini-collapse after the turn yesterday, dropping shots at 10, 11 and 12. Damn it! Scotland's 15-year wait for a major champion goes on!
2.42pm BST
Grace's compatriot Louis Oosthuizen is the only one of yesterday's success stories out on the course right now. The 2010 Open champion shot a brilliant 69 yesterday, a score worthy of plaudits not least because he dumped a pathetic tee shot into Rae's Creek at 12, and yet didn't lose the head thereafter, limiting the damage to a bogey and playing the rest of the course in -1. He's still at 3- having played the first two holes today in par. Oosthuizen looks calm, focused and relaxed this week - in that respect, he's the bizarro Sergio - which I guess is what you'd expect from a player who came so close to victory here in 2012, making a play-off he'd lose to Bubba Watson. But then his record here otherwise is appalling! Other than 2012, he's missed every cut, four out of five! Dear me. The conclusion, then, on all available evidence: he blows very hot and very cold round here. So if he posts another decent score today, the rest of the field should be very concerned.
2.34pm BST
Branden Grace suffered yesterday's super shocker, his 12-over round of 84 sending him crashing to the bottom of the pile. He's started well today, though, four straight pars followed by a birdie at 5. That takes him off the bottom of the leaderboard. He's now, eh, joint bottom at +11, with the 62-year old Ben Crenshaw, who has two Green Jackets in his locker that'll keep him warm once this bad week is over, and Michael McCoy, a 51-year-old amateur. It's not really happened yet for the promising Grace, who had a top-20 finish here last year but hasn't got going yet in 2014. He's only 25, there's plenty of time. But he'll be afforded none of that special stuff this weekend.
2.27pm BST
Another birdie for Bjorn! He's obviously had more than enough of watching your Olesens, Blixts and Stensons leading the Scandinavian charge, and has decided to give it a whirl himself. He really should have been the first player from Scandinavia to win a major, of course, but his head started spinning through various different axes all at once in a Sandwich bunker, and he let Ben Curtis win the 2003 Open. A dismal era for the Open, that, though while Bjorn would have been a much more distinguished name on the grand old championship's roll of honour than Curtis, at least the Dane doesn't have as much blood on his hands as Ernie Els and Phil Mickelson, both of whom let the painfully average Todd Hamilton nick off with the 2004 version. What a business. Anyway, I digress. Bjorn's picked up his shot on 2, a birdie-birdie start. He's -1 overall, and currently one of only 21 players under par for the tournament.
2.17pm BST
Another European veteran with a pretty dismal record at the Masters is Thomas Bjorn. The Dane has usually fared better at the PGA, where he's got second- and third-placed finishes to his name. But he's been steady at Augusta over the last couple of years - experience is never a bad thing round here, after all - and he's in reasonable nick here. Yesterday's opening-round 73 would have looked a whole lot better hand he not dropped shots late on at 14 and 17, and he's opened with a birdie today. He's level par for the tournament.
2.11pm BST
Darren Clarke has an awful record at Augusta, one top ten finish in 1998 apart, and he was never really involved in the thick of that tournament. He looked to have been doing his usual thing of bugger all yesterday, +4 through 12, but picked up on the road home, with birdies at 13 and 15. He ended the day with a two-over 74, much better than it could have been, and he's started well this morning, a birdie at 2 hauling him up to +1 for the tournament. The oldest winner of the Masters was Jack Nicklaus, who was 46 when he emerged victorious from that astonishing 1986 staging. Clarke is 45. Clock's ticking, Darren, it might be now or never!
2.06pm BST
And there's been an early move from Kevin Streelman, who is playing in this morning's opening pairing with DA Points. Streelman isn't in hot form - he missed the cut in Houston last week. He hasn't got much of a major-championship history - the best he can manage was a tie for 12th place at the PGA just gone. And he's only ever missed the cut at Augusta on his previous two visits. But maybe this week is third time lucky, with a little bit of karma thrown in, as earlier this week he gave away a couple of tickets for the Masters to a random teenager on Twitter. But he shot a level-par 72 yesterday, and he's opened his round today with birdies at 2 and 4. He's -2 for his round through 6, and -2 for the tournament. An early sign, perhaps, that much as expected, there may be scores on offer this morning, before the greens get hilariously borderline-unplayable, as they're often wont to do during the hot afternoon sun.
1.57pm BST
Here we go, then.
1.00pm BST
A fairly nondescript opening round of the 78th Masters Tournament, if we're being totally honest with ourselves. Only four rounds under 70, with no 65, 66 or 67 style statements being made, no early gauntlets thrown down. Only 19 men sub par, as well. It's more of a chin-stroker than a throbbing-temple-massager, at this stage anyway. The pin placements were hellish for a Thursday, and similar posers are likely to be set today in the name of fairness. The greens are as fast and as tricky as they've ever been, and are only set to get more troublesome under the Georgia sun; as yesterday, the earlier starters should have it a little easier, in terms of both wind and the performance of the baked, rock-hard dancefloors.
This is how we stand at the top of the leaderboard
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