World Cup updates from the Group D clash in São Paulo
Pictures: the best images from the crunch encounter
Send your hopes/fears to simon.burnton@theguardian.com
For more concise missives tweet @Simon_Burnton
9.46pm BST
90 mins: There will be five minutes of stoppage time, which is not as many as there should be, but still five minutes!
9.45pm BST
89 mins: Another substitution: Suárez is off, and Coates is on.
9.44pm BST
88 mins: Apropos the goal, Suárez gets great credit for anticipating something that nobody else least of all Cahill, his marker did; and Hart went down way too early, allowing the shot to fly right where his chest should have been.
9.43pm BST
87 mins: It's Lambert time! Henderson is coming off.
I've thought I'd seen enough Gerrard assists for Suarez for one season @Simon_Burnton
9.42pm BST
86 mins: About five Uruguayans gang up on Rooney, and England get a free-kick in a decent spot on the left flank.
9.41pm BST
84 mins: A random punt downfield and Gerrard backheads it straight into the path of Suárez, who slams the ball past Hart.
9.38pm BST
82 mins: The teams are basically taking it in turns to spend five minutes looking woeful.
9.37pm BST
82 mins: Suarez's dangerous cross is headed out by Cahill. "Oh that's nice! When Rooney scored Brazilian TV played a burst of 'god save the queen'," notes David Horwell. That is nice. I remember French TV in 1998 interrupting the England-Romania match to show cartoons mocking the English.
9.36pm BST
80 mins: The only reason I mentioned the referee's mother tongue is that I was informed by some ITV pundit or another that it might be key. Please don't be angry with me. I was gently mocking them. I'll do it more explicitly next time.
@Simon_Burnton no need to bring up the ref's linguistic heritage... The throw in is probably the most missed call in football
9.35pm BST
79 mins: A substitution for Uruguay, Jorge Fucile replaces Pereira.
9.34pm BST
78 mins: Baines crosses from the left, Sturridge controls, spins, shuffles his feet a bit and then sidefoots the ball goalwards. Muslera saves, easily enough.
9.33pm BST
77 mins: Rooney chests the ball into Sturridge's pass, and he falls over the nearest defender. No penalty, rightly.
759 - Wayne Rooney has scored his first #WorldCup goal for #ENG, ending a run of 759 minutes. Wait.
9.32pm BST
75 mins: Glen Johnson finds space on the right, takes the ball inside his marker and slides it low across goal where Rooney runs unchallenged to tap in at the far post. Rooney! Goal!!!
9.30pm BST
73 mins: Sturridge spins and shoots from 20 yards, low but straight at the keeper. The thing is, England need a goal, and Rickie Lambert can't help scoring for England. What's he doing on the bench, Roy?
9.29pm BST
73 mins: A Uruguayan sticks the ball out of play, and the Spanish-speaking referee gives them the throw-in.
9.27pm BST
71 mins: Another substitution for England: Adam Lallana replaces Danny Welbeck. I really don't understand these substitutions we don't need infinite new attacking midfielders.
9.26pm BST
69 mins: "So, in the first game, a 19-year-old kid plays great, while the perennially disappointing superstar plays out of position to the detriment of the team," notes Andrew Gerrard. "In a must win game our genius manger decides to switch them, and when things aren't working takes the kid off, leaving the perennially disappointing superstar on the field. You couldn't make it up." Sure, but Rooney, without being outstanding, has probably been England's best player tonight.
9.24pm BST
68 mins: Gerrard clears out Cristian Rodriguez with a knee-high challenge, and earns himself a booking.
9.23pm BST
67 mins: Uruguay's first substitution sees Lodeiro go off and Christian Stuani come on. "I know that logic dictates that the doctor should get a final say on whether a player stays on after a blow to a head. But, I cannot not admire Pereira," writes Prateek Chadha. "A man playing a man's game- totally focused and ready to leave it all on the field for his team and country. What a stud!"
England fans waitiing for a goal pic.twitter.com/NrFngxJm2O #ENGvsURU #WorldCup2014 #WorldCup
9.21pm BST
65 mins: Sturridge finds space on the left, and with Rooney's run to the near post being well shadowed, if there were only someone making a run to the near post maybe he'd have been able to cross to them, rather than limply passing it to Muslera.
9.20pm BST
64 mins: The substitution has been made: Sterling off, Ross Barkley on.
9.20pm BST
64 mins: England find space on the left, and Sturridge wastes it with a dinked crossy thing basically straight at the keeper.
9.18pm BST
62 mins: Alvaro Pereira took a Sterling-shaped knee to the head in that jinking run, and is looking in a bad way, quite possibly an unconscious way. Now he's up! Up, and fighting with the doctor about whether he'll be able to play on. Doctor says no, player says yes.
9.17pm BST
61 mins: Talking of whom, Sterling dances into the penalty area and then dives over Lodeiro's foot.
9.16pm BST
60 mins: Suarez gets goal-side of Cahill, but falls over and concedes a goal kick. I'm hearing England are preparing to take off Sterling.
9.14pm BST
58 mins: Uruguay take two minutes over a free-kick in their own half and that's a ninth of the second half used up in stoppages, within 12 minutes of it starting. "Dear Harry Tuttle," writes Assaf Oron. "Remind me, how many citizens poor little England has, and how many Uruguay? You picked the wrong match to complain about your country being too small to stand on its own legs in the World Cup." You make a decent point.
9.12pm BST
55 mins: Another cross from the left, and Welbech slides in to get it and misses, catching the goalkeeper on his knee. This presents Muslera with the opportunity to roll around a while and have a five-minute lie-down, and he does not refuse it.
9.10pm BST
54 mins: Great chance for England! Baines sends the ball in from the left and it breaks to Rooney, whose left-foot shot is too close to the keeper, and saved. Oh, Rooney! Will it never happen?
9.09pm BST
53 mins: England have the ball for a few moments. Deep breath now, let's start again.
9.08pm BST
52 mins: Big miss from Cavani! There's all sorts of space at the moment for Uruguay, and Lodeiro pokes the ball to Cavani who tries to curl the ball across Hart and into the far post, but fails to get any curl.
9.07pm BST
52 mins: Whatever England changed at half-time they need to un-change, sharpish.
9.07pm BST
51 mins: The ball deflects to Suarez, in all sorts of space out to the right of the penalty area, but his shot is weak and wide.
9.06pm BST
50 mins: England are looking very uncomfortable, but Alvaro Gonzalez's shot is blocked by Gerrard.
9.05pm BST
49 mins: Desperate save by Hart! Suarez goes for goal from the corner again, and comes even closer to scoring than last time.
9.05pm BST
49 mins: Godin's free-kick from the half-way line floats straight out of play. The referee gives a corner, because it went near Johnson. He speaks Spanish, you know.
Scrappy 1st half.. Great ball by Cavani for the goal.. Still game on tho, loads of time to turn it round. We will score !!! Come on boys
9.03pm BST
47 mins: This time it's Suarez on the left-hand corner of the penalty area, trying to curl the ball onto Cavani's forehead. But this time Jagielka clears.
9.01pm BST
46 mins: Game (back) on!
9.01pm BST
They're discussing that Godin elbow on ITV now. "You need to have that kind of luck, or help," says Gus Poyet. Anyway, the teams are back out. Deep breath now.
8.59pm BST
Of course, Uruguay's captain should have been sent off, so it's all OK we can always blame it on someone else.
8.55pm BST
For me, England need to bring on Rickie Lambert, and also call up Ashley Cole (who's having a very good World Cup). We've found space in wide areas, but don't really have anyone in the middle to profit from the crosses we might produce. We haven't found any space in central areas, where Rooney and Sturridge like to roam. We're England. Stick a big lad up front.
"No doubt the whole of the internet will be writhing in anti-Henderson/Gerrard/Rooney/Welbeck/Sturbridge/Sterling ranting, but once again they have done largely well, and it is the defence which needs urgent attention," writes Paul Devlin. "Henderson and Gerrard have kept the ball quite well, and I think Gerrard hasn't given the ball away at all apart from the odd set piece [except for the goal ed]. The forwards have generally moved well, and Rooney (poor header apart) has been involved more. But I would back Uruguay to score again before England, as it looks like they might only need to have half a chance against Jagielka and Hart."
8.51pm BST
Uruguay have put a shift in. Cavani is a monster, a living, breathing work ethic. England are not coping very well with being endlessly harried, and have been surrendering possession all over the pitch leading, eventually, to the goal, which came after Gerrard was robbed on the half-way line.
"Right now, Gareth Bale and Aaron Ramsey are watching this on television," notes Harry Tuttle. "Right now, Sir Alex Ferguson is enjoying his retirement, the day-to-day struggle of club management being too much for him. Right now, the UK is recognised by the UN as a nation-state, whereas none of England, Scotland and Wales are. Why do we continue to make things difficult for ourselves? We are British, right?" Harry, do not speak the unspeakable.
8.46pm BST
That's half-time, and it has not gone well for England, who are losing one moment of beautiful, fluid football to nil.
If England do manage to scrape a draw and have to beat Costa Rica, it means they've turned into Scotland
8.45pm BST
45+1 mins: There will only be one minute of first-half stoppage time.
8.43pm BST
43 mins: which is cleared to the half-way line by Lodeiro.
8.42pm BST
43 mins: And another corner
8.42pm BST
42 mins: From the corner, England win another corner. Nothing comes of it, but a few moments later Sterling chips the ball into the mixer and they have another. And we know what practice makes, don't we?
8.41pm BST
41 mins: Chance! Rooney skips away from his marker in midfield and slides the ball through for Sturridge, who perhaps delays his shot a little bit too long before lashing it towards the near post. Muslera saves.
8.40pm BST
40 mins: Uruguay have produced 20 seconds of the highest class. It's all it takes.
8.39pm BST
39 mins: Cavani has the ball on the left corner of the area, and chips the most perfect cross onto the head of Suárez, lurking behind Cahill, and he does the rest.
8.37pm BST
37 mins: I wonder what Rooney's shot-to-goal ratio is in the Premier League?
Rooney's header against the bar was his 27th attempt in the World Cup. Getting closer.
8.36pm BST
36 mins: Sturridge sends a speculative 30-yarder wildly wide. "If Rooney were two inches taller that ball would possibly have broken his nose," sniffs Paul Devlin. "It came off the centre of his forehead. It was just a poor miss."
8.35pm BST
35 mins: From about the 10th minute, I've been thinking that this might be quite a good game once it settles down a bit. I'm still waiting.
No hair transplant, milimeter lower = goal for England
8.32pm BST
32 mins: If Wayne Rooney were two inches taller, England would be a goal up. Is that the Gazza-at-the-back-stick-in-Euro-96 moment?
8.31pm BST
31 mins: Gerrard curls the free-kick towards the far post, where Rooney meets it, two yards out, and heads it onto the corner of post and bar.
8.30pm BST
31 mins: Now Welbeck is fouled by Caceres near the left-hand corner flag. "As a neutral, the most intriguing aspect of the match so far has been Martin Caceres' almost comically oversized shorts," writes Jerry Parks. "Every other Uruguayan player is sporting the same ultra skin-tight look that is de rigeur among the Puma-sponsored teams, yet for some reason Martin is out there sporting a pair of what I think can legitimately be deemed culottes. Why? How? Does he just get an Andre the Giant sized-pair and cinch them really tight? Does the Uruguay kit man ensure he gets a custom made pair? Truly a fascinating question for someone with way too much time on his hands."
8.29pm BST
29 mins: Godin gets away with one! Sturridge dummies to Rooney and spins for the return pass, but Godin blocks him with an elbow. A yellow card every time, which of course would have been his second. The referee keeps his cards pocketed.
8.27pm BST
28 mins: A lovely Sturridge flick releases Welbeck, who runs out of pitch before he releases the ball.
8.27pm BST
27 mins: Training-ground special! Suárez passes it low to Cavani, sprinting from far post to near, perhaps 15 yards from goal, but his first-time shot flies over.
8.26pm BST
27 mins: Whenever England have the ball there are three Uruguayans on top of them, and they're not dealing with it very well. Uruguay now have a corner.
8.26pm BST
26 mins: Suárez smacks in a free-kick from a deep position on the left wing which affords Hart a little mildly-jostled catching practise.
8.25pm BST
25 mins: If anyone ever tells you how important it is to retain possession in international football or you'll never get it back etc etc and so on and so forth, laugh in their face and show them the first 25 minutes of this match. "Am I the only person who thinks this game resembles pinball?" wonders David Johnston.
@Simon_Burnton Looks like a scrappy mid-table derby at the moment.
8.23pm BST
23 mins: The ball deflects to Cahill, who miscues his right-foot volley under no pressure, earning much cat-calling from the overwhelmingly Uruguay-supporting stands. The ball, fortunately, floats out for a throw-in.
8.21pm BST
22 mins: Uruguay win a string of throw-ins on the left and then swiftly switch it to the right, where space opens up but Lodeiro's pass to Suárez is overhit.
8.19pm BST
19 mins: Hodgson wasn't wrong about the interchanging Sterling has already been spotted on the left, on the right and in the middle. "When I moved to the US from the Ukraine 15 years ago I remember telling a new schoolmate that I was from the Ukraine," recalls Peter. "Whereupon he told me that he thought the UK was cool. After that I was known as the new student from England. Go England?" Get behind your team, man.
8.18pm BST
18 mins: Gerrard's corner fails to clear the first defender. Chap called Suárez.
8.17pm BST
17 mins: A decent spell of possession for England ends with Sturridge having a shot charged down by Pereira. Corner.
8.16pm BST
16 mins: This is a high-tempo, low-accuracy start from both sides. It's very English-football, in other words.
8.15pm BST
15 mins: Ooooooh! A totally miscued clearance from Jagielka rolls to Rodriguez on the edge of the area, and his drive zooms just over the bar and great pace.
8.14pm BST
14 mins: Caceres loops a long ball towards Suárez, who is offside.
8.13pm BST
13 mins: Rooney is fouled on the half-way line. Uruguay are conceding free-kicks at the rate of one every two and a half minutes, a statistic which sounds reassuringly precise but in fact I just made up. Still, they're conceding lots of free-kicks.
8.12pm BST
12 mins: And Jagielka takes the ball near the half-way line, waits for Suárez to close him down, waits some more, realises Suárez is about to take the ball off him, and then booters it down the other end.
8.10pm BST
10 mins: Oooooooooh! Rooney's free-kick misses the corner of the goal by a couple of feet with Fernando Muslera just standing and admiring.
8.09pm BST
9 mins: Yellow card! England fizz down the other end, and Sturridge tries to chip the ball through only for Diego Godin to bat it away with his forearm, conceding a dangerous free-kick and earning himself a booking.
8.08pm BST
9 mins: Suárez attempts a one-two with Cristian Rodriguez but overhits his return pass.
8.08pm BST
8 mins: Very famous footballer in football-watching shock!
Zlatan Ibrahimovi is in the crowd - #worldcup pic.twitter.com/ETn6AiBGhC
8.07pm BST
7 mins: Sterling is fouled on the right, and Baines' free-kick is headed away by Cavani. "I love the World Cup, maybe more than my children, but I can't take the Johnny-Come-Four-Yearly fans who seemingly don't allow their lack of knowledge to stop them venting their opinions," rages Niall Mullen. "As a Liverpool & Ireland fan I am not pre-disposed to liking Wayne Rooney but he is clearly England's best striker with years of premier league, champions league & international goals to prove it."
8.06pm BST
6 mins: Gerrard releases Johnson on the right with an excellent pass, but his cross is a little bit loopy and Rooney falls over before he can try to win it.
8.06pm BST
6 mins: Quite famous comedian in football-watching shock!
COME ON @england! pic.twitter.com/vqC6U1hted
8.05pm BST
5 mins: Which nearly goes in at the near post! Did Suárez shoot from the corner-flag there, the cheeky blighter? Certainly Hart edges off his line, and is very nearly caught out as the corner flies towards the near post.
8.04pm BST
4 mins: Suarez gets free on the left, but his cross hits Cahill in the noggin and flies to Hart who, surprised, bats it behind for a corner.
8.04pm BST
4 mins: Suárez gets his first touch, and doesn't fall over or start crying or anything, so he does seem to be actually fit.
8.02pm BST
3 mins: Baines' pass to Sturridge is overhit, and the keeper comes to collect. But then he fails to collect, the ball bounces off his chest and nearly falls to Sturridge! Nervous moments there!
8.02pm BST
2 mins: England attack decently, but earn no more than a throw-in after Sterling is tackled.
8.01pm BST
2 mins: Zlatan Ibrahimovic is apparently in Sao Paulo tonight.
Zlatan there: that's got to be a good sign - Cavani hasn't ever played well in the same stadium as Zlatan.
8.00pm BST
1 min: 'Ave some of that! England's first touch is from Glen Johnson and involves booting the ball 70 yards straight out of play.
8.00pm BST
1 min: We're off! Uruguay get the match under way. "The Colombian comentators both agree in predicting a Uruguay victory," reports someone who doesn't sign off his emails with a name. Great news here's me thinking every commentator thinks England will win. "This is in line with the common belief over here that South American teams are better than European ones. An argument that has been developed over the last 16 years in which Colombia have failed to qualify precisely because the qualifying group is, according to the theory, so much more difficult than European ones. I have always disagreed, but kept my mouth shut to maintain relations with the in-laws. Anyway, if England manage to qualify, it looks like we'll be playing Colombia in the next round. A fixture that won't end happily whatever happens."
7.58pm BST
If you've got a television you are probably able to follow this match in moving images. I don't need to tell you that text is also an option. If you're after a third, there's always The Guardian's Uruguay v England gallery.
7.57pm BST
Meanwhile, here's Whigfield on God Save the Queen:
Researching this, I got really curious and spent an evening listening to the various anthems of the world. There are some good ones in there. I like the Danish one because its very sweet, the Dutch one is very majestic, and Australias reflects the way Australians are theyre very bright, joyful, easygoing, happy people and Germanys quite militaristic. And God Save the Queen does that too its very subtle, calm and controlled, in the way people outside the UK think British people are. I wouldnt want to put these lyrics into a pop song, but they also reflect that mannered, reserved attitude. It was written in the middle of the 18th century, and it reflects I think the era it was made. Its how people spoke in those days. Its quite a good tune to sing along to, very simple, but Im not sure everyone connects with the words now. Watching the team as the anthem plays before a match some of the players are just mumbling along. I think that you should maybe rewrite the anthems every 50 years, because the world is moving so fast, and I think it would be interesting to hear what would be created
7.55pm BST
Once upon a time, really not very long ago, I spent about two weeks of my life chasing pop stars and asking them to review the national anthems of random countries. So, as they play out in Sao Paulo, may I suggest you have a read, now or later.
Uruguay's is one of my favourites I love the way the intro is so long the camera has nearly always panned down the full line of players before they start singing. David Gray, on the other hand, did not:
Im getting oodles of eastern pride with lusty overtones of death or glory, Im getting a spine of florid pomposity with top notes of Tom and Jerry, Im getting Viennese marching music with a strong hint of moustache oil, Im getting really bored, this thing goes on and on Weighing in at a hefty five minutes, six seconds, this is officially the longest national anthem in the world.
7.53pm BST
The players are in the tunnel. This is happening. People, gird thy loins.
7.53pm BST
@Simon_Burnton England throwing on all their pacey players too early? Barkley aside, no one to come off the bench and run at a slow defence.
Where's Oxlade-Chamberlain? Why couldn't he produce a Suárez-style miracle recovery from knee injury to assume his rightful position as off-the-bench terror?
7.48pm BST
"Deserves a Match? Deserves a Match? Wayne Rooney has played eleven years of English football and not one of them was any good," rages Harley Metcalfe. "I do not desire to disparage the fellow, but, in the words of Tolstoy: 'An honest man and an honest woman may be insulted, but to tell a thief hes a thief is simply la constatation dun fait.'
He quoted Tolstoy. I am beaten.
7.47pm BST
"As soon as the warm-ups over you go into the dressing-room and as you put your shin pads on, you're really thinking about the game," offers Andros Townsend on ITV. Cheers for the insight, Andros.
7.46pm BST
"Why do England fans have such meek expectations of this Liverpool vs. Suarez kickabout? Uruguay were smoked byCosta Rica (no offense to the proud Central American nation) while England looked reasonably good against Italy," writes Peter Oh. "Suarez will play his first game since knee surgery, and England have no injuries to speak of. I hate to quote John Terry, but Lions supporters shouldman up!!! Anything but an England win will be a surprise if you ask me. Yes I know, no one asked me."
Pah. The thing is, England could lose today and so long as they string a few passes together on a couple of occasions nobody will be too upset. Spain, on the other hand, went to Brazil expecting to come back as champions and return in ruins. Nothing ventured, nothing lost.
7.42pm BST
SO England are going to take their best player(Sterling) & play him out of position to accomodate one of their worst. Genius @Simon_Burnton
That is a reasonable argument, although Sterling has been played there often by Liverpool and isn't truly out of position. I also think Rooney deserves a match playing in his best position, or at least two-thirds of one. Finally, I hope that if England need a plan B, C and D, the changes don't come in the shape of an endless procession of attacking midfielders as they did last Saturday (when surely the team was crying out for Lambert).
7.36pm BST
The latest from Sao Paulo:
Local police have confirmed that there were NO #ENG fans taken to hospital as was initially reported.
7.34pm BST
Roy Hodgson speaks, explaining that Sterling was played centrally against Italy specifically to counteract the threat of Pirlo, and without Pirlo he is free to return to the flank tonight:
Raheem will go wide this wide and Wayne will play more central, but otherwise it's pretty much the same team that we had against Italy. Basically those three players are very interchangeable and I'm expecting quite a lot of interchange amongst them.
You have to trust in their experience, their belief in themselves and the way we play. I'm sure they've got that belief. You can never totally predict the outcome of a football match all you can predict is that your team is in the right shape to play the game.
7.31pm BST
"So far it's 0-0, still looking good for England, right?" tubthumps Jonah Bloch-Johnson. Their performance so far has indeed been flawless.
7.30pm BST
I'll update with more on the England-fans-attacked-with-explosive-device story when I get it, obviously. There seems to be a lot of rumour and counter-rumour and very little established fact:
Brazilian media reporting some Eng fans attacked before game. But understood fans may have been Brazilian and no England fans hospitalised.
7.28pm BST
If you're at a loose end with an ad break to somehow get through, you could do a great deal worse than Daniel Harris's piece about Wayne Rooney on Deadspin. And when you're done, come back here again, obviously.
7.25pm BST
For the record, here are your big match teams, all in one place:
Uruguay: Muslera, Gimenez, Godin, Caceres, Pereira, Lodeiro, Gonzalez, Arevalo Rios, Rodriguez, Cavani, Suarez. Subs: Munoz, Fucile, Gargano, Hernandez, Forlan, Stuani, Perez, Ramirez, Coates, Maxi Pereira, Silva.
England: Hart, Baines, Cahill, Jagielka, Johnson, Gerrard, Henderson, Sterling, Rooney, Welbeck, Sturridge. Subs: Foster, Wilshere, Lampard, Smalling, Jones, Milner, Lambert, Lallana, Barkley, Shaw, Forster.
Referee: Carlos Velasco Carballo (Spain).
7.23pm BST
We interrupt this stream of hilarity with a serious-news newsflash, from the Press Association:
England fans were targeted by Brazilian hooligans who threw some kind of explosive device ahead of the match against Uruguay in Sao Paulo, according to Brazilian media.
Globo has reported that 15 people were arrested after a hooded group attacked England supporters at two neighbouring bars in downtown Sao Paulo, close to the official Fan Fest. One report said a number of England fans were taken to hospital for treatment, but Globo quoted one bar owner as saying no customer had been injured.
7.21pm BST
The players are out! They're only warming up, but still just 40 minutes to kick-off.
7.21pm BST
I have no idea what's going on here. Literally none. What's the horse doing there?
Musketeer Tom Burke and his Uruguayan horse Roger square up ahead of #EnglandvsUruguay over on @bbc5live tonight. pic.twitter.com/GHoPWZXE6e
7.14pm BST
Relax England, everything's OK we've got Ross!
England expects. We know you can deliver. Show the world lads! @england #WorldCup #EnglandvsUruguay pic.twitter.com/3vcQHGWsKd
7.13pm BST
The players aren't the only Englishmen whose performance tonight will be under intense scrutiny
Right interview done up to do co comm- watch the highlights later and the full re run 2am- feedback welcomed haahah
7.10pm BST
Uruguay v England, in wine (courtesy of Footballers Wines): Uruguay produce 110m litres of wine each year, and they consume 110m litres of wine each year. That's not very much wine, but does add up to 32.4 litres of wine per person. England produces just 2.5m litres of wine, but consumes 1.28bn litres. That's a lot of wine, but works out as 24.1 litres per person. Come on, England drink up!
7.03pm BST
This makes the heart melt, doesn't it? Pure friendship, in a photo.
7.01pm BST
Nick Honeywell emails regarding the earlier snippet from Michael Cox's statistical match preview: "You say 'Cavani is instructed to cover this space with constant running'," he notes. "I can't tell you how disappointed I was when I realised this didn't mean Uruguay have a midfield player called Constant Running partnering Cavani." It would truly be the ultimate player's name.
6.59pm BST
Here's proof of the complete absence of personalised silver envelopes in the Uruguay dressing-room. It does, however, look like Luis Suárez will have some kind of personalised look-at-my-child T-shirt under his shirt.
6.50pm BST
What's in the silver envelope? I can tell you that every England player has one not just the captain and that none of the Uruguay players do.
PHOTO: Steven Gerrard's shirt & the plaque in our dressing room prior to tonight's match. #URU #ENG #3Lions pic.twitter.com/msKGsdLRQB
6.49pm BST
Here's official confirmation of the England team. It's the same as the last but where will Rooney play?
#ENG team v #URU 1 Hart 2 Johnson 5 Cahill 6 Jagielka 3 Baines 4 Gerrard (c) 14 Henderson 19 Sterling 10 Rooney 11 Welbeck 9 Sturridge
6.49pm BST
Really, the game's already in the bag for England. Sure, Uruguay have won four and lost only three of the teams' 10 meetings, but four of them have been played in Montevideo. Take them out and it's, well, it's 3-2. They have played only once on neutral territory, and that match in Basle, way back in 1954 was won by, well Uruguay.
OK, sure, but you can't use a 60-year-old result to predict what will happen today. No, the only pertinent result is the most recent, a 2-1 England victory at Anfield in 2006. There are two survivors of that match in the England squad, in the shapes of Steven Gerrard and Wayne Rooney. Uruguay have four Diego Lugano, Diego Godín, Diego Forlán and Diego Peréz.
6.37pm BST
I don't think I ever knew this. I'm absolutely certain that if I knew it once, I had forgotten it:
Before meeting @England at @WembleyStadium in 1990, Uruguay played a practice match against a Wandsworth Police Station XI at Roehampton
David Barber [the FA's official historian ed] watched his first football match on November 5, 1960, Crystal Palaces 6-2 FA Cup win over Hitchin. Exactly 45 years later he clocked up his 5,000th, and still counting. I just love the whole experience, he says. I used to hate school. The great focus of the week was the match on a Saturday.
His most memorable may have been when Uruguay asked for a warm-up friendly in 1990, before a match with England. The season was over, the goal posts moved. David finally fixed a game with Wandsworth police station.
6.32pm BST
If you like my pre-match sobbing footballers composite, you'll simply adore The Guardian's very own Sad Footballers tumblr. Here's a sample:
6.25pm BST
You may be interested in Michael Cox's statistical preview of this game. Here's a snippet:
Suárez's return means Edinson Cavani drops back and becomes a second striker, an extremely important role for Uruguay. They suffer from a complete lack of pace in defence, which means the backline has to play very deep, and the midfield protects them keenly. With Suárez playing on the shoulder of the opposition defence, it means there is a yawning gap in the side, and Cavani is instructed to cover this space with constant running. Diego Forlan, now 35, was unable to do that against Costa Rica.
6.13pm BST
I love the two Terry Butcher photos in my pre-match teary England photo composite. He's basically got a one-pose-fits-all post-heartbreaking-defeat reaction position. I wonder how many times he did that over his career, and whether he still does it, even though he's a manager. Perhaps every time he's sacked, although that would obviously carry a risk of RSI.
6.06pm BST
Weatherwatch: It's 16C and drizzly in São Paulo. It's basically a home game for England.
Grey Sao Paulo drizzle does not looking like lifting before kick off. Saturday Manaus, Thursday more like Margate.
6.04pm BST
Uruguay striker Luis Suárez will start against England in their Group D match in Sao Paulo on Thursday, the country's football association has confirmed. Suárez, who was recovering from keyhole knee surgery and missed Uruguay's 3-1 loss to Costa Rica in their opener, will partner Edinson Cavani in attack, with Diego Forlán dropping to the bench. Uruguay also bring in Alvaro Pereira, José Maria Giménez, Nicolás Lodeiro and Alvaro González, making five changes from the side that lost to Costa Rica.
England team unchanged and as expected. Only issue now whether Rooney goes back to centre and Sterling moves wide
6.01pm BST
So here we are again, awaiting kick-off with England staring off the edge of a precipice. Sure, Roy Hodgson's side won't be mathematically and definitively eliminated tonight, but defeat would be extremely prejudicial to their chances of progress from Group D, a gutsy round-of-16 victory against whoever and the outside chance of an airport welcome from a throng of cheering fans. If it turns out that they are bad enough to lose to Uruguay, there is no reason to suspect that they will then become good enough to convincingly beat Costa Rica.
Anyway, here's an update from popular beat combo Bastille.
We're about to fly the 24 hours back from Oz so we're missing the game but COME ON @ENGLAND! pic.twitter.com/tWnuEYpj9W
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