Haha, you really didn’t think we would ever do it, did you? Yeah, me neither, but at least we got to work the term “limp Dick” into an article.
The next couple of days on the Fwoosh are unofficially dedicated to Dick Tracy. It is a property that is near and dear to my heart, so I wanted to take some time to spotlight some of the toys I have that celebrate the long standing “copper of comic strips.” A couple of months ago I thought that I would only have enough Tracy subject matter for a neat little “Throwback Thursday,” but then as luck (I don’t think that is the right word for it) would have it, as Pabs and I were meandering around the floor at SDCC back in July, I noticed a dealer that was selling some things I NEVER thought I would even consider buying: a cache of “GBJR Toys” action figures.
Sigh. If you are not aware of the decade-spanning drama that is GBJR/Shocker Toys, then I am very envious of you. The long and twisted tale is one of those things that you just cannot make up because there is no possible way for the fiction to be stranger than the truth. If you want all of the blood and guts of the details, you can go and read all about it on the forums, and then promptly hate yourself. See, aside from having the positively worst company name in the history of toys, GBJR and their namesake founder Geoff Beckett have had a dubious reputation amongst the collector community ever since the proposition of their first product “The Shoulder Action Figure” was made public under their old Shocker Toys moniker. Yeah, that was an almost-thing.
Since then, everything from never producing what was promised (I think the actual production-to-plan rate is under 10 percent) to allegations of straight-up ripping off customers have been a part of the GBJR/Shocker/Geoff Beckett history, and while I have never personally been anything but an on-and-off-again observer (you know, when I really feel like hating myself), it is hard deny or ignore so many stories and accusations from so many different sources. This is not just an online collector thing either. Apparently, there is also plenty of creator and licensor strife to go around as well. So, on a personal level, this has all the warning signs of a company that I would very easily resist doing any kind of business with, be it based on fear of being scammed or principle alone.
Is it possible to be so bored at SDCC that I would give in to sick curiosity and buy a figure of a character that I love from a company as dubious as GBJR? I guess so, because here we are. That being said, I usually like to keep drama and product separated from each other in things like this, but, in this instance, it is kind of impossible. See, I will buy any toy I have any kind of interest in (even if it is for all the wrong reasons) without a second thought, but since I know there are a lot of people out there that have claimed to have already paid for this figure and have not gotten it yet, even in the wake of product being on the sales floor of SDCC, it makes for some pretty strong remorse. So, if you are one of those people, I am truly sorry, and if you hate this article because of that alone, I cannot say as I blame you. However, I am going to move past all of the history at this point and focus directly on the toy. Maybe some of things I have to say will help rationalize a $20 vindication to make a clean break, but I will leave that up to you.
So, taking all of that information and putting it aside, what are we left with in terms of an actual action figure? That is the ultimate point of this exercise, right? Well, I can say with 100 percent honesty that we are left with an action figure that is not going to satisfy most people in the collecting world. At the end of the day, this Dick Tracy figure is just not a good toy and it is extremely disappointing to me because I love the character so much. Not everything about it is a colossal failure, but overall, there are too many wide-ranging issues with it to be considered a success. I really wanted it to be too because I love the character so much. Despite it all, I was ready to embrace it, but I am positive this leap of faith had one of the most predictable outcomes in the history of the universe.
Well then, what are rubs? I guess it just depends on where you start, so I will start in broad terms and then go more specific. Frankly speaking, the figure does not look very good, and that is due to the overall aesthetics, as well as the construction. There are a few things that Dick Tracy is unmistakably known for: his square jaw, his yellow hat/trench coat, and his radio watch. I suppose the watch is represented just by the mere fact that it is present on the figure, but the other two really-important-to-get-right-to-sell-the-figure aspects pretty much thud out.
First, the face sculpt is, as I can only think to describe it, soft and lumpy. It looks like a cartoon version of Tracy has been beaten up by one (or many) of his famous rogues and NONE of the features are sharp or pronounced. Dick Tracy’s famous jutting, square-jaw profile is not to be found, and instead of looking like a tough cop, his face looks more like a cross between the Spitting Image Ronald Reagan puppet and Rudy Bagaman, the esoteric manager of the California Raisins. Sure, the squinted eyes and mouth position are attempted, but the lack of good shape on the jaw and doughy face make them a bit of a lost cause. The black lines of the eyes and mouth are the only paint applications on the face as well, and the Caucasian flesh-colored plastic has an almost translucent quality to it, making it a bit sickly. As far as the actual figure goes, the likeness of the face should have been priority number one, but it just falls completely short.
Then there is the hat, and I think it is my least favorite part of the whole figure. It is terrible. His hat completes that iconic profile of Dick Tracy, and not only is this yellow hat not shaped like the classic fedora, it doesn’t fit on his head (or stay put) in any convincing fashion. My question is why even make the hat removable in the first place? But since the standard version of the Tracy figure was (for some reason) supposed to be sans-trench coat, a hair sculpt was thought to be needed. Again, this is puzzling because if I am struggling to get a product made, I would worry about variants later and just concentrate on getting that iconic look produced and in its correct style. So I am left with a Tracy likeness that is soft (at best) and a misshapen hat that does not stay put. That alone should be enough to make a pretty decisive judgement on the figure overall.
However, the issues do not stop there. The trench coat seems okay on first glance, and I really appreciate the fact that soft plastic was used so as not to inhibit the articulation, but there are some underlying things going on. First, the color of the coat does not match the yellow of the hat or the sleeves. This is off by quite a bit and the matte quality of the rubber in the coat contrasted with the shiny plastic of the sleeves doesn’t help either. Also, the coat is almost see-though in some places, and the flat look with no shading makes it very apparent that the coat is made of rubber. The lack of paint applications in the coat speaks to the lack of paint overall, but when poor Tracy is left holding the bag in what might resemble a rubber fetish suit, it is a bit hard to take.
The overall proportions of the sculpt get a little dicey as well. I know Dick Tracy is just a hard-nosed cop, but he is not a scrawny guy either, and the small shoulders and noodle arms make this figure pretty small overall. So, even standing next to a Spider-Man in the same scale, his proportions are pretty slight. The rest of the body seems okay, but, again, he gets most his bulk from the jacket, so if that was not there, his long and skinny arms coupled with his spindly legs don’t make him very intimidating. I need a Tracy to stand shoulder to shoulder with, well, Shoulders, not someone who would have trouble taking on Numbers Norton.
The articulation, or at least the thought behind it, is appreciated, however, and as far as points go, Tracy fares pretty well. Even though I am a pretty vanilla poser, I like for my figures to be able to move and and be placed in a setup of my choosing. Tracy has ball shoulders, biceps swivels, double knees, double elbows, ball hips, and rocker ankles, so my big needs are taken care of from a point consideration. This is all well and good, but the engineering does not hold true for all of the points and many of of the crucial areas are too loose. Included among these are hips and shoulders, so even in the most static poses Tracy can buckle under his own weight leaving you with a bit of a limp Dick. Wait… no, that actually makes sense.
Finally, for accessories, Dick comes with the aforementioned hat, as well as his Tommy Gun and a swappable hand. I have already spoken about the hat, but as for the alternate hand, I am not really sure why it was included. Don’t get me wrong, I am a big fan of interchangeable hands, but I cannot really see much of a difference between the two options. Both have the radio watch and they can grip the gun about the same, so I am not sure what the need for it is. His Tommy Gun is serviceable and I don’t really have any complaints about it aside from its being a little flat and drab. There are some details there, but the lack of paint on them makes them blend in with the rest of the piece. The clip is removable, which is accurate to the actual piece, but not really something I need.
So… yeah. Even in light of all of the drama and strange cult of personality talks about the company and its proprietor, I was willing to give this GBJR Dick Tracy a fair shake, and I even wanted him to be great since I have such an affinity to the character. With most toys, I know I am pretty easy to please (some would say to a fault), but this figure is just not doing it for me, there are just too many faults. It is not the abhorrent abomination that some would want you to think it is, but it also isn’t good, and certainly not worth the 20 clams I plunked down for it. Oh well, I take it as fee for exercising some manner of curiosity. I would have been such an easy “get” with this figure too — had it been decent, I would have been very happy and would have been in for any Tracy character produced. I guess I will continue to wait for that awesome Dick Tracy comic line.
If you have paid for this figure already, I hope you at least get your money back if the actual product cannot be shipped (yeah, right). It might be better that way, but as it stands, there is no getting around the issues that follow this company around. I am sure I will get some comments about “getting everything shipped as promised,” but I have not seen or heard proof of that. Mr. Beckett, if you are going to continue this whole action figure company thing, put the focus on your product and your customers instead of the dog and pony show and excuses. There are some good ideas here, but the execution is poor and the reputation is even worse.
Sigh. As I await another at-bat in the attempt to bring me good Dick Tracy figures, I will be revisiting some that I love tomorrow, so stick around. For now, have at it in the comments.
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