Hi my name is Beth. I am here to learn and share information. I know they say everyone has something to learn and contribute. And that is definitely my mind set. However, I am frustrated in my current situation. I am likely going to jump back and forth so you know where I have been and how I have obtained my mentality. And have realized that what I thought would get me to where I want to be is not the right track though society leads you to believe this path.
Before I get into who I am, I want to give a little history on how I grew up and how my mindset was shaped. I am currently 47 years old. In my preteen years (8-10 years old); I watched my grandparents unfinished furniture business go from a successful business to one that was outdated. Even at a young age, I knew they didn’t move with the times, what people needed or wanted. An example: my grandfather had a chance to move his business from a neighborhood that was changing in Detroit to a better location and due to his fear he stayed in the location he was in. That coupled with his first heart attack at 54 years of age is what I believe made his business that thrived in the 1960/1970’s ultimately fail. What I learned from my grandfather was not only skills in refinishing furniture but, I also learned the painful reality of fear leading you. He had a family to support, so he made a tough decision and unfortunately it was not the profitable one. I respect and love my grandfather for the lessons he instilled within me. I have always tried to be tenacious in getting what I want.
My parents followed a similar route. They took many of the ideas my grandfather had and opened a home improvement business that sold steel doors and storm doors. In Michigan this was a market in the late 1970’s/1980’s that was thriving. There were a few home improvement businesses that were out there doing this and my father/mother found their niche. My father having worked for my grandfather had the benefit of taking off where my grandfather did not. My dad did not let the fear lead him and I love and respect him for that. However, what my parents didn’t do was plan for the future. They made a great deal of money in the 80’s. They did reinvest in their business but they didn’t save and or invest in their future. They did not make sure their health was maintained. We never had medical/dental insurance growing up. I grew up quite poor. Though my grandparents had a thriving business, what I remember most was when it was slowly falling apart. So, at this point my grandparents could not help my parents with their business other than knowledge that my father learned from my grandfather which was quite valuable. My parents grew their business and soon had a few kiosks in the malls in Southeast Michigan. My parents as a team were very good in business. With that being said my sister and I experienced many fights my parents had after business hours so, that was also helpful but stressful growing up. In the late 1980’s/early 1990’s businesses such as Lowes and Home Depot were beginning to squeeze businesses like my parents. However, my parents were able to stay afloat by selling their business to a family member. They ran away to Florida. I won’t go into all the “politics” of this matter. But, needless to say the family member did not follow my parent’s formula and my parents ended up coming back to Michigan to resume and clean up the mess and move forward. They did, this with many reservations but they came back and for some time they tried very hard to make the business thrive once again. My belief is that they failed because the economy was failing; big companies made their profit line marginal and my dad getting third stage colon cancer definitely ended their business. What did I learned from this; that my parents should have saved and or invested in themselves when their business was thriving. So, when the business failed they had some way to recover even during the tough ordeal of my dad having colon cancer. Presently, my mom and dad are still around, thankfully my dad has been in remission for about 6 years. What they don’t have is security or “choice” in being able to enjoy their later years. At one time they owned a Mercedes, a Cadillac, a few motorcycle’s, were able to move to a better neighborhood, but they now live in a one bedroom apartment, barely making it. My mom works at Costco giving out samples and my dad is retired due to his health in regard to his cancer and the demise it has had on him. What I learned most from my parents was to build a foundation and stability.
What society pushes on people is to obtain a solid foundation and stability. “They” tell you to go to school and work hard to obtain an education and this will provide you with an income and a way to live hopefully comfortably, go on vacations, save money for retirement and enjoy a healthy life. What I have come to learn by reading many posts and talking to the friend that referred me to this site; what I bought into is not realistic. Now, more about who I am: I graduated a half year early from high school and went to summer school so, that I could start community college early. I had some learning disabilities but tried very hard to overcome my shortcomings. It took me a little longer to graduate from community college because of my learning disabilities. I worked full time and a part time job while going to school part time. First, I obtained my general studies associates degree and then my associates in liberal arts. It took me sometime between community college to let go of my fear of going to a University. I worked for my parents company as well as another part time position but was not happy with this life. So, I decided to go back to school and obtain my degree in social work. I had two classes left one in statistics and the other in algebra. My learning disabilities were getting the best of me but my dad who also had difficulties in these areas and overcame them offered to tutor me. He was the best tutor one could hope for. He was patient, did not charge me for his services, he spent well over 6 months tutoring me before I actually signed up for both classes. Again, I used my tenacity to get through these two classes. It was tough but I did it and obtained my bachelor degree in social work. I worked the entry level jobs with low pay, afternoon and midnight shifts at homeless shelters to get experience. This is called paying your dues. I obtained several certifications in my field and worked several other jobs to pay my dues. I was gaining experience and knowledge but the pay and what I worked so hard for was not offering me a return on investment, being ME.
By this time I was working at a University which offered free tuition for me to obtain my master’s degree as long as I paid for books, materials and of course my time. I had been working in social work and my niche was more health related so, I thought why should I get my Masters in social work, my thought was, if I diversified my education; I would make myself more marketable in my field. I thought, it would be foolish not to take advantage of this opportunity. It seemed like a gift that was being offered. I enrolled in the Masters of Education program. Took my GRE, past it the first time around and was accepted into the school of education. I was so excited because I thought wow, I am empowering myself with additional credentials. What I believe this did in hindsight was make things more difficult in obtaining work. During this time I was working at the University but most of my jobs in my career have been grant funded and or contractual so, there has always been an expiration date with the positions I have held. Again this has its pros and cons. I have been able to gain a lot of experience and even more certifications but it has done nothing to create the foundation of stability and move toward Fastlane ideals. Again, toward the end of my degree I saved algebra until the end. At this time my father was experiencing the side effects from Chemo so he was not able to assist me as much as he would have liked in tutoring me. I did find a way around this, and without going too much into what I did. I was able to get permission from my advisor to take this class as an independent study. Again, using my tenacious spirit to find a way around the obstacle and through much hard work and doing a project rather than a thesis; which in the long run I believe was much more labor intensive; I graduated in 2008 with my masters in health education. It was 10 years between me obtaining my bachelors to my masters. I DID IT. I thought, now I will be able to move forward to obtaining a good paying job in a field I enjoy for the most part as there are always the good and the bad things in any field.
I also thought, that at this point I invested in me and obtained goals that went further than my grandfather who had an eighth grade education, my father through many struggles who has a associates in liberal arts , my mom a high school diploma and my sister a bachelors in art education. I thought wow, now I have exceeded the expectations in my family history and where my grandparents and parents had failed to obtain higher education, I believed this would be my success. Boy have I been wrong.
As I mentioned most of my positions have been grant funded and or contractual so, they have not provided stability or a way for me to get ahead. In fact, last year I lost my home. I have since moved into an apartment. My last position was working on a social media health campaign for the state of Michigan. I was promised a two year contractual position. At the midst of the first year the grantor decided to pull the funds for the second year. As soon as this happened, I knew I had about 5 more months on the job and I took action immediately to begin looking for another job. My job ended at the end of September 2012. I have applied to well over 200 positions and have even changed my mindset to apply at places that have humbled me even further. However, Taco bell, Mc Donald’s, Tim Horton’s and the like will not even consider me even in management. I have been on several interviews throughout this last year and most recently on October 16, 2013. I found the salary being offered was 20,000 dollars less than my previous position but feel if they do offer me the position I will take it.
Why you ask, why I would take a job for 20,000 less than what I was making in my previous position? It’s because unemployment has run out, emergency unemployment has run out and I am down to my last few hundred dollars. I am not asking or throwing a pity party. I am introducing who I am so you know who I am, where I have been and where I am currently at present day. At the close of this month I will not be able to pay my rent or any other bills. Essentially, I am becoming one of my clients-homeless and running out of options.
I have been reading many of the threads as well as listening to a good friend of mine who provided me with the mindset that perhaps the stability I have been seeking is down the wrong path. He introduced me to this website and I am truly intrigued by all of the stories of success. Many of which speak of the failings they have had to overcome, the flailing within those downfalls. Perhaps I am missing something in reading these threads. They speak of how to obtain things even when you have low funds. But what happens when you have no funds? You have no support systems as far as asking people to assist in helping with a business venture? What happens when you don’t have the ability to keep insurance on your vehicle or put gas in your car to be able to pick up items that you can begin a business? I have read many posts that people say they have been at 0 -money have lost their networking ability and have had to rebuild those bridges and that years 1-3 are very difficult. I am resilient in nature. I get angry, sad, and mad but I do pick myself up after these bouts and dust myself off and fight the good fight. As mentioned, I am in a downward spiral in the midst of losing everything. And now will have no funds by the end of this month. So, my frustration in all of this is how to pick yourself up and begin a business of any kind with no funds and trying not to become homeless. Again, I am not feeling sorry for myself. I am merely asking for more advice on what to do while flailing or as I say on a day to day basis trying to do everything I can to save my behind from becoming homeless. And no I do not have the luxury of moving in with friends or family. They do not have room for me and I, in no way want to be a burden to them. They are not responsible for taking care of me. I am responsible for taking care of me. So, I ask this question with sincerity and as humble as I can ever be. I have truly become frustrated- without having any income, how does one build a business to gain income and self-sufficiency and move that toward Fastlane perspective? Thank you in advance for any and all advisement. It will be respected and appreciated.
-Beth