2013-09-23

I am going to start a campaign to raise money for the “bring either Gwyneth Paltrow or Cate Blanchett to TV” fund or I’m going to die from the stuffiness of the next Emmy Award red carpet. The fact that the most talked about event of the night being Claire Danes’ faux bob or 13 year old Kiernan Shipka being the best dressed of the night (in a floral Delpozo dress) explains a lot, I think. Lots of boobs, lots of mermaid tails, lots of bows and frills; and a clear color card with rose and ice blue as winners.

Anna Faris was the only person who opted for a bright yellow gown, and she managed to ruin it with her horrible hair and make up choice. I mean, after a night where January Jones (yes, January Jones) looked implausibly flabby in a nude Givenchy (yes, Givenchy!) gown and the worst dressed of the night was Amanda Peet in Erdem (yes, she somehow managed to make Erdem look like a bad victorian play costume) I can only be so cheerful. Click through to see all the looks from 65th Primetime Emmy Awards and read my even more depressing comments…

In my book Julie Bowen made only one red carpet mistake, the Reem Acra princess gown she wore to Golden Globes couple of years ago. After that, she was on a strike, and that included tonight. Even though I find that rose pink Zac Posen gown too – everything – it looks perfect on her. Another favourite from the night is – kind of unbelievable for me – Zooey Deschanel in an ice blue J.Mendel which is a style shift for her – in a very very good way. The dresses she wore in the past, which she must have thought complimented her hipster-pinup character, did nothing for me. This gown is still unique, elegant and definately one of the best of the night.

Claire Danes is giving me the boobless women fever; which can be described as the affection towards women who can get along without any bra or any kind of support; who can rock the flapper dresses, strappy blouses, white tank tops – basically anything you can relate with 20′s or 90′s and minimalism. So while normal people go crazy over Christina Hendrix or Sofia Vergara, I swoon over Keira Knightley, Carey Mulligan, Kate Hudson and yes, Claire Danes. Consequently, I was sold when I saw the Atelier Versacé sequinned nude gown on her with the  faux bob.

After my wedding I found out that to any occassion you can wear white without the possibility of facing the terror of a bride, you should wear white. And unless you are a celeb or a member of the society, the odds are it’s not going to happen a lot. So I automatically applaud any women who shows up wearing white, I start doing cheerleader moves if the dress is Calvin Klein or Givenchy. For tonight, my white swan favourites are Taylor Schilling in halter neck custom made Thakoon, Sandrine Holt and Kate Mara in J Mendel. Lily Rabe‘s curtain looking Vionnet and Kerry Washington‘s flower embroidered Marchesa gown made the cut on my worst dressed list.

The biggest surprises of the night was Sofia Vergara wearing a red fishtail Vera Wang gown and Heidi Klum choosing a very expensive halloween costume from Versace for the night of only Emmy award she has ever won. It was almost as surprising as Breaking Bad winning the best drama series and Neil Patrick Harris doing a musical gig during the show. My favourite for the following category is Carla Gugino in Georges Chakra, complementing her figure and showing skin at the right place, at the right time.

One of the most argued over topics of the night was Lena Dunham‘s flower printed green Prada dress. While everybody seemed like they hated it, I kinda liked it – especially from the waist up she looks super cute. The make up is splendid and the deep V neck bares her perfectly white skin. I admit the skirt makes her look really really big, which is probably why people were shocked, but I still think it reflects her personality and I’m giving her a thumbs up. Sarah Hyland‘s body suddeny aged 10 years in the gorgeous CH Carolina Herrera gown but her face still looked like 16 despite the burgundy lips and womanly updo so it creeps me out a little looking at her but that doesn’t change the fact that the dress was beyond beautiful.

This just in: Ice blue is the color of the red carpet until further notice. Zooey Deschanel and Padma Lakshmi (in Kaufmanfranco) carried the color to success whereas the other sister Deschanel’s ill fitting Houghton one shoulder lace gown was a let down. Julianne Hough obviously went for a dip after the show hence the swimsuit and Jessica Pare somehow managed to look like a gift box in a deep sky blue Oscar de la Renta dress. As to Tina Fey‘s gorgeous figure under her Narciso Rodriguez gown, I wasn’t wearing my glasses when I first cought a glimpse of her and thought she was Sofia Vergara. Enough said.

Purple strapless gowns on a red carpet, WOW my god what an unexpected variegation. NEXT!

The most dominant trend of the runway went around and infected the red carpet as well, black and white together & forever. It would have been better if they continued being together under the skirt of Leslie Mann‘s J Mendel gown though.

Nude and pink, what would we do without you? Well this year, it could have been good if you hadn’t been around, considering all you brought was dulness to our lives. Favourites are Rose Byrne in Calvin Klein (I mean, it’s pink, it’s Calvin Klein and it’s.. two piece!) and Laura Dern in Naeem Khan.

Anna Faris, the only reason you are standing alone on my blog page is because you have the only unique dress color. Not because you deserve it, with that god awful hair and make up. I like your dress though, kudos for trying to be Michelle Williams.

Oh and yeah, black. Cat Deeley‘s dreamful structured Armani is one of the best looks of the night, so is Robin Wright‘s astonishing minimal victorian Ralph Lauren gown. Christina Hendrix made a safe and right choice with Christian Siriano, Sarah Silverman wears a $60 dress which she bought online and Amy Poehler looks cute which she probably would with whatever she choose to wear. The list of black could get a curve of B+ if it wasn’t for Amanda Peet but sorry folks, my grade is C- and that’s final.

image sources: the cut, just jared, e online

Filed under: Celebrities, Red Carpet

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