Each week we review some of the top reality competition shows on television. Click here for our Bachelor reviews and here for our Top Chef reviews. This week we dive back in to the Shark Tank. Can sharks be pets?
The Shiver: Tonight’s group of sharks: Dallas Mavericks owner and tech-sector maverick Mark Cuban in his usual stage-right chair, apparel icon Daymond John, capital venture mogul Kevin ‘Mister Wonderful’ O’Leary, QVC Queen Lori Greiner and at the end of the line, infosec entrepreneur Robert Herjavec.
The Bait: A crowd-funded craft brewery, a line of incredibly loud casual wear, a light-up toilet bowl gadget, and clever pet furniture.
Company: Henry Schwartz, MobCraft Beer
Seeking: $400,000 for a 16 percent stake
“We use 21st-century technology and the power of the crowd,” Schwartz said, to take the all the guesswork out of making trendy craft beer. People submit flavor ideas, then try to rally crowdfunding support with “votes”—which are also provisional pre-orders. The most popular ideas end up getting brewed, shipped and enjoyed:
Schwartz pulls out craft-flight paddles for the Sharks: There’s a coconut brew, a hoppy grapefruit, a coffee stout, a vanilla porter, and a couple of sours. Daymond doesn’t like the grapefruit at all, but most of the Sharks really enjoy the first few pours. Lori is vociferous in her enjoyment of the vanilla:
Well, if it's good enough for @LoriGreiner, it's good enough for us! #SharkTank #MobCraftBeer @MobCraftBeer pic.twitter.com/ziwpGSXdL7
— Shark Tank (@ABCSharkTank) March 12, 2016
Once the sours come out, though, faces pucker and stomachs churn; Cuban dramatically ducks behind his chair and spews his mouthful out. Amidst it all, Herjavec smiles and swirls his glass. “I like it!”
They dig into the business model a bit; Schwartz knows his numbers and market very well. The Sharks are intrigued by the low-risk model—essentially taking pre-orders for every flavor, and avoiding all the traditional costs and risks associated with a facility build-out. But, erm, that’s what Schwartz wants the money for—to build out a facility and launch the best flavors into the teeth of the highly competitive retail beer market.
#SharkTank Mob Craft Beer has the best logo in the history of the show. pic.twitter.com/9h2A2Fbi9G
— Vaughn Fry (@VaughnFry) March 12, 2016
Despite proving his palette is made of stout stuff, Herjavec says “I’m not a beer guy” and drops out. Lori follows. “I hate beer,” Daymond says; he’s out too. “I love beer,” Cuban counters—but he’s a fizzy yellow concessions-stand swill kind of guy.
“You could make a ton of money riding this wave,” says Mister Wonderful, and of course a wave of CGI water and shark graphics wash over the screen because it is time for the DRAMATIC COMMERCIAL BREAK.
One of the tastiest pitches I've seen in the tank — good luck @MobCraftBeers ! #SharkTank
— Robert Herjavec (@robertherjavec) March 12, 2016
When we return, O’Leary says he wants to paddle Schwartz “like a baby seal.” O’Leary’s heart has been broken by Schwartz’s abandonment of his own innovative model. O’Leary wants nothing to do with this build-out, so he is out.
Swim or Chum? CHUM.
Should You Buy? In theory, if really want a gooseberry-and-taro root oud bruin, there’s only one way to get your fix (save brewing it yourself). In reality, that depends on you convincing a whole lot of strangers it’s a good enough idea to SHOULD BUY.
Company: Jeremiah Robison, Beloved Shirts
Seeking: $175,000 for a 5 percent stake
Remember the Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt? This soft-spoken guy wants to let you design your own screaming abominations, and slather it all over any conceivable garment. “Creating apparel that warrants a reaction,” he calls it; the unicorn splorching rainbow juice out of both ends he strips down to doesn’t get as much of a reaction as the fact that Katy Parry’s proudly worn it.
The whole thing turns on relentless customization. Not only can you pick from the many, many, many (Robison says over 22,000 individual SKUs) designs already on the site, you can create a new one from a sufficiently high-res image. Robison’s licensed on-demand manufacturing so he doesn’t need his own equipment (or, for that matter, inventory). But just like MobCraft, Beloved Shirts wants to ditch the innovative model that’s working right now to scale up and compete with the big boys.
Robison boasts of $2.3 million in sales over two-and-a-half years, with a profit of ten percent. The Sharks like that, but this long-turnaround on-demand model caps his growth potential. O’Leary and Cuban start doing Robison’s presentation for him, arguing about the cleverest path to go forward.
RT if you would LOVE this as a present! #SharkTank #BelovedShirts @BelovedShirts pic.twitter.com/3pZOBs9Bf2
— Shark Tank (@ABCSharkTank) March 12, 2016
“You’re still kind of operating by the pizza of your pants,” says Cuban, pointing at the pizza pants. Gotta credit Cuban there; that’s several notches above the usual quality of the banter on this show. “It’s really fun stuff,” Herjavec says, “but I’ve already invested in a company” that competes in the sector. Lori, the mail-order expert in the room, is very concerned Robison has way too many SKUs to manage, and a lot of logistical issues he’s too inexperienced to have solved. She doesn’t think it’s investable at all.
O’Leary balks at the valuation. It’s just way too rich for their current annual sales. As we’ve seen so often on this show, a pipe-dream valuation is negotiable, but it’s its own red flag when it comes to the makeup of the entrepreneur.
“I have so many levels of concern,” says Daymond, and quibbles over the stake. Why just five percent? He offers the $175,000, but for five times the equity. The other Sharks shout encouragement at Daymond to hold firm. There’s back. There’s forth. There’s back. There’s forth. There’s jump cuts. There’s sweating.
Swim or Chum? Robison “respectfully” declines Daymond’s offer. CHUM.
Should You Buy? SHOULD BUY.
Company: Matt Alexander and Mike Kannely, IllumiBowl
Seeking: $100,000 for a 15 percent stake
A toilet-bowl night light! A motion-activated light that hangs over the side of your toilet bowl and lights up the target without brightening the entire room. You can stagger in half-asleep, hit the bowl (or ensure a dry sit-down), and go back to bed without ever turning on a light:
This presentation is quick and clever, with one of the best kickers ever: “At IllumiBowl, our main priorities are No. 1… and No. 2.”
Their successful Kickstarter was…well, successful, and now they want investment to build inventory and develop new features, like being able to project images.
“What would you project on a turd?” The quick answer from Kannely: “A football team you don’t like.” But then, like magic: Mister Wonderful’s face appears in the toilet bowl!
“I like it, it’s kinda nuts,” says O’Leary. He almost offhandedly offers them their $100,000 for a 25 percent stake. Cuban jumps in to say he thinks this is a product—a novelty product—and not an investable company. Griener already sank her teeth into in a company called Squatty Potty, and for the second time tonight we have a Shark bowing out because of confict of interest.
There’s still that offer on the table, though. The bowl boys ask: Will O’Leary will meet them in the middle on the equity stake? They gets a very fast no.
Anything can happen in the tank! #SharkTank #IlummiBowl @illumibowl pic.twitter.com/EtrZv4ZPRk
— Shark Tank (@ABCSharkTank) March 12, 2016
Swim or Chum? …so they reply with a very fast yes. SWIM.
Should You Buy? Like Cuban said, this isn’t going to take over the world—but if you (or your kids) tend to get up in the middle of the night, turn on a bunch of lights and then go back to sleep. You definitely SHOULD BUY.
Company: Victoria Coopman and Tim Taft, Innovation Pet
Seeking: $250,000 for a 5 percent stake
Before the presentation even starts, Daymond winces at their massive investment ask and wild $5,000,000 valuation.
Then the two entrepreneurs demonstrate their line of, um, innovative pet furniture. There are modular components for scratching, hiding, playing, etc. that can all be put together. There’s a doghouse, a chicken coop, and a lot of ideas in the pipeline. But the chicken coop isn’t even their design, and once again they’re trying to break out of their niche and hammer their way into the competitive big-box pet stores.
Herjavec looks grim as he thinks-out-loud through the near-term future of their business; as big as their ask is, it may not be enough. “A lot of inventory, a lot of churn, you’re going to need a lot more capital…I can’t help you.” He goes out. Cuban says it isn’t in his wheelhouse; he’s out too.
“I see your future as a licensing play,” Lori says: Just as with the chicken coop, they can come up with all the ideas they want and let other people do the building and the shipping and the stuff that requires cash. But Lori doesn’t want to break their company down to that and build it back up as she envisions. She’s out.
We love seeing @robertherjavec's soft side! #SharkTank #InnovationPet @InnovationPet pic.twitter.com/0QDT5Y467d
— Shark Tank (@ABCSharkTank) March 12, 2016
“You need money,” “the question for any investor is, ‘How do I get my money back?'” Here’s where we need the old-school voiceover guy to say, “Find out when we come back…FROM THIS DRAMATIC COMMERCIAL BREAK.”
“I want to double my money,” O’Leary says, and offers them $250,000, and they pay him a 6 percent royalty until they fork over a total of $500,000; he keeps a five percent stake.
Daymond offers them the 250K for a straight 12.5 percent, but 25% of online profit. He’s willing to take on the legwork of building out their online business—no sweat for him—and make his money back quickly as they refine their brick-and-mortar operation.
Coopman and Taft whisper between themselves. Do they need to go out in the hall? No, they keep whispering. You can go out in the hall if you…no? Still whispering? Okay…hey, uh. Listen, uh. We’re watching a show here, guys, maybe either go out in the hall or—oh! You made a decision!
Swim or Chum? “We did it, man!” SWIM.
Should You Buy? I… I don’t get what’s so innovative about this stuff. The flagship cat product is cool, but there are similar modular, or at least stackable, designs out there. The doghouse and chicken coop are just a cute doghouse and a regular chicken coop. You SHOULD BUY if you like it better than the strong competition available practically everywhere.
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