Hey Guys,
New here, not new to the game, backslid to oneitis like i was a teenager all over again, no matter how good you get, it can still happen! Appreciate a bit of a review of my situation and some advice about the present situation.
Picked up hairdresser in Feb 2014 when she was cutting my hair.
Went out for drinks that night, after another date she came to my hotel room, only making out, no sex. (I had a hotel as i was working back and forth out of state and had not got a place yet since moving to Brisbane)
She asked me if im seeing anyone, i wasnt, asked her, she wasnt, she did say that a guy friend who lives in the USA had asked her to be together and he loved her etc, she laughed it off saying it was stupid and she had no interest, so i didnt think more of it.
She was rather elusive after the third date and hard to get a 4th 5th date with, I had thought she was no longer keen but she kept texting me 24/7 non stop but never committing to anything.
It was if she was married it felt so to speak - she wasnt but thats the vibe.
Ended up with some serious sexting so i thought sweet its in the bag.
She had a 4 week holiday overseas booked in March when i met her, kept texting up until she was going overseas, she said she really wants to catch up when i get back.
Didnt get to see her before she went so i was planning to see her when she gets back.
There she is overseas, texting me 24/7 all the time, telling me she misses me and all this nice shit, so im like sweet, when she is back, she is mine.
About 3 weeks into the trip she went silent on her constant texting me, so i checked her Facebook (which i had never bothered to look at) and low and behold she had a boyfriend! It was the guy friend from America, they had been in a LDR since January 2014!!!! All I love you baby and cant wait to see you in May when you come over, flowers from Valentines day (about when i met her) and your the best BF in the world etc.
So i called her out on it, she told me that if i dont like what i see online then dont look at it, WTF???
Anyways ended up talking to her, she reckons that she only decided to commit to him since being away on her trip (it wasnt to see him the trip it was a different country with family) So i lapped it up and took it like a bitch, when in reality they had been together the whole time, online or not.
She gets back and we end up catching up, its never really spoken about and we do this whole friend thing.
She knows im keen and i keep pushing things along, getting her to stay over in my bed "just as friends" yeah right, eventually i nailed her in bed, man was it great sex, total nympho.
So she tells the LDR BF what she did, im thinking great, they will be over and ill get her, but no, he is mad but hangs in there, she is begging his forgiveness and telling me he loves him and she is going in May still to see him.
So like a douche i think i can CHANGE HER MIND, so i push and push and we become an acting BF and GF, everyone things we are together, everyone expect her friends whom i never meet as they know this guy, so im basically the dirty secret.
She meets my friends, even comes to my church and all holding hands, so i think its in the bag.
I buy some lingerie for her/me one day and she tells me she will text me some sexy pics while im at work, then it dawns on me, here you are buying this girl shit and she is telling you she is going to be with this guy no matter what, i tell her "well are you sending pics to him as well???" thats it she looses her shit and gets mad at me, i was pissed off and finally stood up for myself and told her I cant do this anymore.
So then it starts, weeks of back and forth, she is still with him then its off, then he is coming then he is not, we are just friends then we dont talk, i fuck her again, then they are back on.
Eventually it just errupts, my oneitis is exploding, she is all over the place and i walk away No Contact, i told her hey if you and him dont work out give me a call sometime because im done with this.
I walked away, a week later i get a I miss you text, 2 weeks after that i get a how have you been text im thinking abuot you text, i tell her hey whats up, she tells me she has broken up with him for good.
Thing is, im currently overseas for 2-2 1/2 weeks for some work meetings.
I say to her hey lets catch up when i get back, she is keen to do so, i cant lock down a definate date with her so i tell her to contact me a little closer to the day i am due to fly back and we can lock a day down then to catch up.
Questions: -
I told her dont contact me until its actually over and she did, so its over, am i safe to start a clean slate with her and put it all down to bad timing the drama, i should have walked away when it first was found she was in a LDR and said call me if it dont work out.
The fact that she fucked me around for 2-3 months and when she contacts me and im out of town is bothering me that im missing my window to get together but considering all her shit moves then the least she can do is wait 2 - 3 weeks until i get back to catch up, hell if she moves on before i get back then she must not really care for me in the first place, whats two weeks after all the drama she put me through.
Should i try and text her and chat until i get back or just wait until i get back , like i said i told her to contact me (was this a good move or should i have told her i will contact her)
If there was a slap in the face button, how many of you guys would press it to slap me now haha, dudes i got oneitis bad for this one, i know this, so im looking for two feedback answers on all of this:
A - STUPID ONEITIS AND MY ACTIONS FOR CHASING A GIRL WHO WAS NEVER TRULLY AVAILABLE
B - HOW I CAN GO FORWARD WITH HER NOW AND CAN I TREAT IT LIKE A CLEAN SLATE
Thanks for any advice, even if i get insulted or told im a dick head for allowing her to come back, then yeah ill take it like a man, i chased her as she was unatainable and just wanted a warm dick until she was going to see him i think..
Mr P