Screens
by Jeff Boam
Opening This Weekend
Thor: The Dark World
Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman
Following the ginormous success of superhero team-up flick The Avengers, Marvel Studios launched what it calls Phase 2, the continued rollout of comic book properties that includes Captain America: The Winter Soldier (April 4, 2014), Guardians of the Galaxy (Aug. 1, 2014), The Avengers: Age of Ultron (May 1, 2015), and Ant-Man (July 31, 2015)…after Thor: The Dark World, that is. In this PG-13-rated fantasy adventure, the looming threat of a vengeful ancient race forces Thor (Hemsworth) to embark on his most perilous and personal journey yet, one that will reunite him with Jane Foster (Portman) and force him to sacrifice everything to save us all. The Plus: The franchise. Following on the heels of Iron Man 3, Thor should continue a hot streak for Marvel Studios considering the fact that it’s already breaking records overseas having taken in over $100 million just this weekend before it even premieres in the U.S. The Minus: The reviews. While far from dismal, this sequel has garnered only modest critical praise thus far, which won’t stop a sure-to-be blockbuster opening weekend but might slow down its overall box office.
12 Years a Slave
Chiwetel Ejiofor, Michael Fassbender
In this R-rated drama based on an incredible true story of one man’s fight for survival and freedom in pre-Civil War United States, Solomon Northup (Chiwetel Ejiofor), a free Black man from upstate New York, gets abducted and sold into slavery in the antebellum South. The Plus: The players. Here, Steve McQueen (Hunger, Shame) directs Ejiofor (Salt), Michael Fassbender (The Counselor), Benedict Cumberbatch (Star Trek Into Darkness), Paul Dano (Prisoners), Garret Dillahunt (Looper), Paul Giamatti (Rock of Ages), Scoot McNairy (Killing Them Softly), Brad Pitt (World War Z), Michael K. Williams (HBO’s Boardwalk Empire), Alfre Woodard (The Family that Preys), and Quvenzhane Wallis (Beasts of the Southern Wild). The Minus: The competition. Thor — along with popcorn fare like Jackass Presents Bad Grandpa and Ender’s Game and other award contenders like Gravity and Captain Phillips — could bury this critic’s favorite.
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Ender’s Game
Asa Butterfield, Harrison Ford
***1/2 — The Blast Starfighter
Like Twilight time for Starship Troopers, this tale of a teen titan Enders up to be a surprisingly rousing and thought-provoking star war. In this PG-13-rated sci-fi actioner, the International Military seeks out a brilliant young mind (Butterfield) who was raised on video games and can lead his fellow soldiers into a battle that will determine the future of Earth. True, the story presents an emotionally scarred military kid fighting bug-eyed monsters like a certain aforementioned Robert Heinlein novel. Also, the flick features some star-crossed romantic trappings (some of it sisterly, but still…) not unlike a lot of modern teen literature. What’s amazing, however, is how damn entertaining this adaptation of Orson Scott Card’s award-winning book proves for adults. Though aimed squarely at the teenage set, the SFX, cast and themes can’t help but engage older sci-fi fans more used to Ford grumbling his way through Han Solo than Colonel Graff. In a funny way, shorn down to a breezy running time that clocks in less than two hours, Ender’s Game drives home a modern analogy better than the R-rated Elysium. The more the line between war games and actual battle blurs, the more the audience feels the title character’s inner strife boiling over like teen angst. It’s a coming-of-age story, yes, but one that speaks to the child in all of us exceedingly well.
Last Vegas
Robert De Niro, Michael Douglas
** — Kick the Bucket List
More of a Wild Hogs on Viagra than Old Dogs Hangover, tired and true geriatric comedy Last Vegas offers moviegoers little more than an hour and a half of gray area. In this PG-13-rated comedy, three 60-something friends (De Niro, Morgan Freeman, Kevin Kline) take a break from their day-to-day lives to throw a bachelor party in Las Vegas for their last remaining single pal (Douglas). The cast list reads like a H’Wood Legends Who’s Who circa 1987. Oh, the actors stand and deliver…barely. One long, predictable geriatric joke stretched to a 90-minute breaking point, Last Vegas requires very little of these Oscar winners other than cashing a paycheck and buying a new Bentley. Let’s just hope that the title proves to be a case of truth in advertising.
Bad Grandpa
Johnny Knoxville, Spike Jonze
*** — Low Comedy for Old Men
Partly acted to establish a throughline but mostly staged to milk laughs from hapless victims, this hidden camera comedy featuring a Bad Grandpa rides Borat’s coattails to sometimes greatly funny results. In this R-rated comedy, 86-year-old Irving Zisman (Knoxville) goes on a journey across America with his eight-year-old grandson, Billy (Jackson Nicholl). The sophomoric humor starts immediately but takes a while to really catch fire. Once the belly laughs begin, however, the movie becomes a consistent knee-slapper even when the “story” hardly stitches together the segments and some of the grossout jokes earn more yucks than guffaws.
The Counselor
Michael Fassbender, Brad Pitt
** — All the Petty Horsesense
Starting out like soft core porn and ending up like soft focus philosophy, the pretty but talky Counselor boasts all of the earmarks of star-studded Oscar gold but barely ekes out an honorable mention. In this bleaker than bleak R-rated thriller scripted by Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist Cormac McCarthy (The Road), a lawyer (Fassbender) finds himself in over his head when he gets involved in drug trafficking. Directed by Ridley Scott, every scene shimmers like an awards season reel even with a South of the Border setting that’s seedier than a tomato plant. The script, however, presents some nefarious characters who implausibly philosophize with flowerier tongues than doctoral candidates specializing in Spinoza’s Ethics.
White House Down
Channing Tatum, Jamie Foxx
*** – Olympus Is Ballin’
In this PG-13-rated actioner new to DVD, a Capitol policeman on a tour of the White House (Tatum) springs into action to save the president (Foxx) from a heavily armed paramilitary group. Firing off a retrograde round of ‘80s action like a White House on fire, director Roland Emmerich’s latest is Down with being a ridiculous but sometimes tasty piece of popcorn. Granted, it takes awhile to set the explosions off as the story – gasp – tries developing caricatures into characters. Once the pyrotechnics start, however, the audiences get something akin to Die Hard in a National Historic Site. Indeed, so long as the actors keep their mouths shut, the movie ranks and roars like a well-oiled Bruce Willis throwback.
The Abbott & Costello Show
Bud Abbott, Lou Costello
**** – W00t’s on First
Jerry Seinfeld credits it as one of the primary influences on his legendary sitcom. Entertainment Weekly ranked it as one of the top 100 TV programs of all time—so did Time magazine. And now, you can see what all of the fuss is about by watching any or all of the 52 episodes on Hulu. Running only two years (1952-54), The Abbott & Costello Show concentrated more on gags than pathos but the result proved out-and-out funnier than their cartoony movies (Buck Privates, Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein) or watered-down radio show. For a primer, stick to the first and best season.