You're just not ready, but your significant other certainly is and has no issue whatsoever in telling you this all the time. It's a tough predicament to be in, especially when you're serious about the other person involved and don't want to end things.Take a deep breath, clear your mind, have a read of this and we'll help you figure out where to go from here...
1) They Get Upset When You Ask Them To Stop
When you tell them "that's enough" and they either throw a hissy fit, storm away or whine on and on about the totalagony of their sexual frustration, then that's totally unacceptable. It's your body, your rules, end of discussion and don't even try and fight us on this. If they're bummed, they can speak to you about it like a polite, mature adult and not sulk in the corner like a grown child.
2) You Feel Out Of Control And Out Of Your Depth
Sex and all of the complex layers it comes with should alwaysbe a healthy, positive thing. When you decide to have sex with someone, it should be a mutual decision, not something you feel like you have to do. Remember, it takes two to tango and you deserve to do just so at your own pace.
3) They Try To Guilt You Into It (ALL The Time)
If, after you refuse to have sex, your partner tries to guilt you into feeling bad for them, then they're completely out of line. No one has ever been seriously hurt by not having sex, but people are damaged every day by unhealthy attitudes and pressures in regards to sex. Excuses like "intense horn" and "blue balls" are completely secondary to your mental, physical andsexual health. Put yourself first always, you owe that much to yourself.
4) They Threaten To Break Up With You
Perhaps one of the most disgusting ways of pressuring someone into having sexis to threaten to break up with them if they don't perform. Sometimes this method can be disguisedwith flowery sentences like "I just don't think we have the right chemistry, the right physical connection...."However, the truth is that anyone who truly appreciates you for your brilliant mind, spirit and personality won't give a damn if they have to wait a while before getting physical.
5) They Constantly Compare You To Past Relationships
I really hate this one. It's a classic power trip kinda move to compare your partner to someone you used to date, ex: "Sally was a complete demon in the sack" *stares intently into your eyes as they place your hand on their taut zipper* It's bullshit. Sure, Sally really may have had a talent or two up her sleeve, but you're not Sally! By no stretch of the imagination should you feel obligated to live up to someone else's sexual history.NEXT.
6) TheySpend About 70% Of Your Time Together Talking About It
When you say no, they pretend to respect your decision by agreeing. However, any chance that they get, they bring up the fact that you haven't had sex or that you're not having enough sex etc. This is not "respecting" someone's decision, it's a desperate bid to overturn it by bothering them until they cave. Get a life, we say (to him, you're simply fabulous).
7) They Pretend To Care But It's Pretty Obvious They Don't
Again, this one is tricky because it involves your partner creating the illusion of respect. They sugar-coat everything they say or do by making illustrious speeches about how much they care about you and want you to feel good. At the same time, they ignore your actual requests and only ask questions afteryou've turned a sexual corner.
8) Oh, And They Ask For Nudes All The Time Too
Despite popular belief, being pressured into sending nude photos is just as bad as being pressured into sex.When you think about it, a nudepictureonly allows your partner to interface with the image and idea of your body. You're not really there, making it easier for them to ignore your feelings and experience. The important thing to remember is that it's your body andyour choice and a picture can cause a lot of damageif it somehow got into the wrong hands (which can happen so easily, btw).
9) They Make It Seem Like It's A Casual Thing
Sex might be a huge deal to you, but your partner acts like it's nothing. This is a sly way of making your reservations about sex seem ridiculous and overblown when in fact, they're quite legitimate and normal because despite them telling you that 'everyone is doing it', they are not. Straight up, lies, lies, LIES.
10) Your Gut Just Tells You 'No'
Maybe everything your partner is saying and doing isn't technically wrong in your book, butyou have an instinctual feelingthat something isn't right. Your head might be telling you that it's easier to just go with it and it'll be ok, but your heart knows that something's not quite right. Listen to your gut, it's rarely wrong! If your partner has morals or a soul, they'll listen to it too. <3
Unhealthy Relationships
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