Thursday, I had the bright idea to run to Ikea to look at couches. We bought the ones in our living room when we were first married, and since we just celebrated our 13th anniversary, it was definitely time to replace them. Through the years and all the kids, they were pretty beat up. They were oversized blue cloth, and kids have spit up, spilled, and blog only knows what else on the cushions. A couple years ago, we bought covers for them, and that worked for a bit, but one ripped and another one’s zipper broke.
Have you ever seen that commercial for those things to put under your couch cushions for support if they’re sagging? The one where there are the two huge sumo wrestlers bouncing on a couch? We had that issue where certain spots sunk down really badly and you’d almost get sucked into the couch when you sat on them. We affectionately nicknamed those spots the a$$ holes, because your butt would sink into them. We’d have to call for someone to pull us out- ‘Help! I’ve fallen into the a$$ hole! Get me out! I have to pee!’
I thought about grabbing those informercial things, but I figured our furniture was probably beyond saving. Plus, it would end up costing a lot more than $14.99 because that’s only enough for a chair. It really was time to get something new. We thought perhaps we’d try to avoid cloth this time, and get something that we’re able to wipe clean. I didn’t want a lot of cushions, because the kids like to hide things in them. When we moved the old couches, the amount of Legos and Hotwheels inside the a$$ holes was staggering.
OH! The adventure. So we went to Ikea to look and see what they had. I’d found some on their site I liked, but they were a little pricy and I wanted to see them in person. I had the three little boys with me, and I brought Ethan as well, in case I needed help. I debating getting one as a sofa bed for when we have family visit. But then, we saw a leather-ish (I’m not really sure what it’s made of) sofa for only $299. It has one big cushion as a seat, instead of multiple ones that the kids can yank off. And it has small arms. Our old living room set had giant ‘Thinking Chair’ arms that took up half the room.
I decided that we NEEDED two of those couches. Ethan was skeptical that they’d fit in the van. I was sure they were all disassembled into little tiny backpacks the way everything at Ikea is, and we would be fine. I figured, they can roll entire mattresses up until they are the size of a sleeping bag, and we fit bunk beds in the van with no problem.
We get to the giant warehouse area where you pick up your selections, and I notice that the couches are a wee bit bigger than I’d hoped. We needed two of the trolley things to get them up to the checkout area. All the while, Ethan’s getting frustrated because he knows it’s not going to work. As we wait our turn to buy our stuff, I call Aaron at work and tell him I might need a little help. I am pretty sure I could hear him rolling his eyes at me over the phone. Ikea is an hour away from our house.
He agrees to head down as soon as he can. After I pay, (it came to less than ONE of the original couches I was going to buy, and I got a ton of other random crap) we head outside and I move the van over to the loading area. We take the kid’s car seats out of the third row and fold it down, only to realize we need to also fold down the second row seats. An employee comes around and helps us get it all loaded, and we manage to make it all fit, but it’s tight. And, there’s no room for any passengers, which is a slight problem since we’re an hour away from home and I have four kids with me.
Now, we just have to kill some time while we wait for Aaron to show up. We’ve already stopped halfway through our shopping trip to eat the required Swedish meatballs, so we’re not hungry. We’ve been in the store for hours, so we have no desire to browse any longer. We decide to head across the street to a Chick Fil A because I know they have a play area and I figure we can at least keep the kids occupied and sip some coffee while they play. Finally, when I’m about to stab my ears out from all the screaming little kids, Aaron arrives and we’re able to put the kids in the car and head back home.
BUT we have two new couches, and no a$$ holes!