Today I went out of my way to physically MAKE Sammy come out of his cage by making him step up over and over even though he kept flying right back in. After a while he started staying on my finger a bit longer each time and so I carried him to some of his favorite places up stairs where he lives, like the bathroom mirror and the shelf above it.
Slowly as the day went on it seemed as if he was returning to his old ways- acting bonded to me. After all, I spent over a year with him alone before I started his nightly visits with Budgie and Petey.
I also spent a lot more time with Budgie and Petey today having them step up and talking to them. As the day progressed, they too became less skiddish and more friendly and talkative.
Here's what I think happened:
Budgie and Petey have been with me for over three years, two without Sammy. During this time they were as friendly as you could expect a bonded pair to be. But that all went away after Sammy started visiting them. (I think because Sammy would chase either one and peck at them if they showed me any attention, so they associated being friendly to me to being chastised by Sammy!) Sammy was jealous.
At the same time, as Liz figured out, Sammy was beginning to live for his visits with the boys, and at the same time he was forgetting the bond he had with me.
Today he stayed upstairs all day and by 8pm I could not get him OFF my finger!! He's completely back to his bonded ways.
I'd like him to visit with the others but I'll have to cut it down to a few times a week. Just seeing Budgie and Petey not cower when I approach them made me realize that my hopes that the "play time" would benefit all of the birds may not have been accomplishing what I wished.
So that's it! Sorry for the long post, but I sort of wanted to relate how I concluded what the problem might be.
One thing I've noticed with budgies- they forget quickly what it took them a long time to learn! In some aspects, that's a good thing, like when you accidentally scare them or bump their little foot with a food dish and they make that heart wrenching yelp!
Thanks to everyone for the help.
Mark :):budgie: x3