Happy WEDNESDAY, Friends!
It's time to WORK IT! The second Wednesday of every month Shay and I are WORKIN' IT. We're sharing how we work different areas of being a mom, keeping our homes running smoothly, planning for trips, etc. We'd love for you to join the link up! These are the topics for the upcoming months...
Today, we're sharing how we WORK ON OUR MARRIAGES.
Many of you have heard this story before so I'll give you the condensed version today. :)
Tab and I met in college-my sophomore year. I was actually dating/hanging out with one of his friends. His friend introduced us. I ended the night inviting them both to church with me that week because it happened to be "College Sunday" and what better to do than show up with two football players on "College Sunday". Right?
Fast forward two years...we crossed paths again and the rest is history. We got married about 13 months after getting together. We moved from college to Dallas, Texas, for Tab's new-big-boy-job.
We've been living in the 'burbs of Dallas and raising a family ever since.
And every single second has been blissful.
Hahahaha! Just wanted to see if you were still reading.
I do things that DRIVE HIM CRAZY. I'm one of those people who doesn't feel the need to put the cap back on the toothpaste because we're just going to use it again in a couple hours. It drives him crazy.
And he does things on the daily...like leave his shoes RIGHT by the back door...that put me over the edge. But, we choose to look past each other's flaws to SEE THE BEST in each other.
I'm not going to say we have the marriage thing all figured out, but here are few ways we work at keeping our marriage strong...
*Tab and I are big fans of date nights. Our schedules don't really allow us to have a certain night each week or month that's always date night. With work schedules, kids' activities, and everything in between we just make sure we fit in date nights here and there when we can. We need time away from the distractions to spend time together. That can be as simple as hanging out after the kids are in bed.
*We've learned each other's love language and just how DIFFERENT we are. For the longest time, we struggled in this department. I mean how does someone who feels loved through physical touch instantly think, "I should buy my wife a just-because gift". Right? NEVER GONNA HAPPEN on it's own. We have to make an effort to show the other love in the way they receive it the best.
*I'm hoping my grandma skips this one...but SEX, I'm gonna talk about it. I remember being a young mama with two tiny babies at home, knee deep in diapers and laundry. The only thing I wanted to do when the kids were in bed was sleep. I was exhausted. I always had someone hanging on me every moment of every day. This was a struggle. Young moms, I'm talking to you. :) I had a mentor at the time remind me how important intimacy is in a marriage. I'll never forget her saying that I just needed to deal with it. The way we were discussing it was I expecting her to say..."oh, Tab should just understand. You're so tired". Haha! How thankful I am for honest friends. She sure didn't say that. She told me I needed to get over being tired and make time for my man at night. (Read between the lines here, girls..."MAKE TIME FOR MY MAN"). She went on to tell me I needed to figure out a way to add a housekeeper to the budget or be okay with a messy house, but no matter what I chose it was way more important to have a healthy marriage in the bedroom rather than a super squeaky clean house. You know what I'm saying? If I was going to give my younger self a piece of marriage advice, THIS would be it!
*Talk about it. Tab and I chat about everything. He'd be the first to tell you he probably thinks I share too much. When he gets home, I want to share every second of my day. Haha! With that said, if we have a problem, issue, or disagreement...we talk about it. Usually after some discussion, we come to a quick agreement.
*We try our best (doesn't always work) to be selfless. As a newbie wife, I was selfish. And as a newbie husband, he was selfish too. It was just a big adjustment thinking about someone else's needs before your own-when you'd always been on your own. Time definitely makes this one easier...now we're thinking about four other people before ourselves but as newlyweds it can be tricky.
*Tab and I both come from broken homes so this one is high up on our priority list. We realize marriage is a lot of work. We also realize Satan would love nothing more than to destroy every Christian marriage, so we work hard, pray hard, and study hard to do the best we can to keep it strong. Just over Christmas, Max Lucado had a daily devotional about how parents would never willfully break their child's arm or leg. Right? But going through a divorce causes more pain for a child than if you'd just broken a bone. Please know I'm not talking about every divorce situation. I have near and dear friends who made the best decisions for themselves and their children by choosing to leave their marriage. I'm talking about those circumstances when you haven't done everything and given it your all before quitting. Until you've done everything you can do, don't give up on your marriage. I want to add that Tab and I were both blessed with amazing step-parents who have filled amazing roles for us. We wouldn't be the people we are today without them {And a HUGE shoutout to my rockstar mom. She made single mom life look so easy! How did she do that?}, but divorce is hard and I just encourage you to make it a very last resort.
*We have fun! I don't take the fact that I get to do life with my best friend lightly. No matter what we're doing we're enjoying ourselves.
*We put God in the center. Tab and I do our best to keep our relationship with God the number one priority. Do you guys remember that triangle graphic from church youth group? When we're closer to God, then Tab and I are closer to each other as well.
We definitely don't have all the answers. We are a work in progress. We're just doing the best we can everyday to make our marriage strong.
I did a little blog series on marriage a while back...
*Going to the Chapel
*We're Talking Marriage Part I
*We're Talking Marriage Part II
Our last month's Workin' It Wednesday was all about our New Year's Goals.
What about you?? Do you and your spouse do something to keep your marriage strong? Please share!
One last thing...last call on signing up to get a pen pal. You can read more about it here. I've had a few straggler e-mails come in this week and thought I'd give everyone a second chance to get their name in.
Thanks for stopping by today! XO
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