I watched the first episode of the new (and final) season of Teen Mom last night, but couldn’t stay up for the second episode. My bedtime came quickly last night as we had a day of fun today. I watched the DVR-ed episode tonight and… I didn’t hate it.
Catelynn and Tyler were having a visit with their (relinquished) daughter. The photo slideshow montage of the visit was beautiful and bittersweet. The song MTV chose to back it, however, seemed unnecessary. Andy Davis’ “Kiss It Goodbye” brings the lyrics, “And all I wanted I’ve had in my hands, but I missed my chance.”
Thanks for the reminder, MTV.
The photos were lovely. There were a few captures that caught my breath, the ones that we don’t have of our visits because we’re busy with the living and the experiencing. In fact, even though I’m a photographer, I am often short on photos from our visits because I’m too “in the moment” to get my camera out and interrupt the flow. I just want to be and feel and love and breathe her in. I’d love to have some fly-on-the-wall photos from our visits.
Later, as Tyler and Catelynn decompressed after the visit, I wanted to hug them. It’s probably the most real I’ve ever heard or seen them talk and be about the realities of adoption, openness and loss. There were tears. There was talk of wanting to be called “daddy.” There was talk of heartbreak.
“It’s human nature. We’re allowed to be sad.”
“Well yeah. That’s a piece of us that walks away.”
And it is. We pretend like open adoption is this magic cure all. Birth parents get to see their children, children get their questions answered; it’s all good. But it’s hard. It hurts. It doesn’t magically make it all better. And seeing Catelynn and Tyler, who have been vocal adoption supporters, vocalize their loss and their pain and their reality made me cry. Even those who are at peace with their decision, whatever that peace may mean to them, are allowed to be sad. I wish they’d quit being, essentially, spokes-birthparents for what we know is an agency with less than ethical standards, but I’m not going to deny them the room to grieve and the room for joy. I get enough heckling for finding my own peace. I hope they know that they are not alone in their mixed emotions.
Though, MTV, goodness with the killing songs. As they finished up their discussion, they put Joe Gil’s “Time to Move On” over the video. Seemingly unavailable on YouTube, MTV or Spotify, let me treat you to some lyrics:
We’ve been fighting battles for our whole life, We’ve been building barricades day and night. We can sense and enemy further than we can see. We have built our world in a place of safety. Time to move, time to move, move on. Stay stay, now we can trade this world for another. We can’t stay here to much longer cuz, it’s time to move, time to move on. Time to be where we belong.
It’s almost like MTV is trying to say, “Hey birthparents! Time to move on! Back to where you belong!” Though, like the other, it sounded like a lovely, gouge-your-eyes-out-with-a-spoon, cry-fest kinda song. I might keep it in my “I need to cry” arsenal — as soon as I can find it.
MTV’s Teen Mom Shows Open Adoption Reality (Briefly) is a post from The Chronicles of Munchkin Land. Want more Chronicles? Like our page on Facebook! If you have questions, please contact me or @ me on twitter.