On this episode of Straight Up with Stassi, Stassi and Kristina Kelly delve into the world of modern dating, giving you two fresh perspectives from two different sides of the dating world.
“It could be robots that are writing these texts, I don’t care.”
“I have zero dating prospects so I don’t even have someone to text if I wanted to,” Stassi says after telling a story about being alone at home. “So I think there needs to be some sort of app—I might create it—where you can text a dude and he can respond depending on what you want. I would want a guy who’s sarcastic and dry and funny to text with. It could be robots that are writing these texts, I don’t care. And so then he would text me back the way I would want to be texted back, like just really funny.”
“Wait, but it would go nowhere…” Kristina says.
“So?” Stassi asks. “It would just take up time, it would make me feel like I’m talking to somebody. And then if you’re a girl that wants someone to be really sweet, you can be like, ‘I just want a romantic, sweet guy to text.'”
“But you would be okay with it going nowhere ever?” Kristina asks “Like you could never meet this person?”
“Have you ever seen ‘Her’?” Stassi asks.
“I was just going to say it sounds just like the movie, ‘Her.'” Kristina says.
“Yeah,” Stassi says, “That would probably be me.”
“Okay, Cinderella.”
“How are you obsessed with someone after seven years?” Stassi asks Kristina about her relationship.
“I’m not going to get all mushy on you…” Kristina says.
“Oh fuck it, go for it,” Stassi says.
“It’s just real love,” she says. “True love.”
“Did you just say true love?” Stassi asks
“Yeah,” Kristina says.
“Okay, Cinderella,” Stassi jokes.
“Well, I believe in that,” Kristina says. “I do believe there’s someone out there for everybody.”
“I believe that there’s a million people out there for everybody,” Stassi counters.
“I believe that there’s that one perfect soulmate, and if you’re not with somebody that is, you’re just not with the right person,” Kristina continues.
“But what if Max died?” Stassi asks. “You already found your perfect person and you’re screwed for the rest of your life?”
“No, I would probably eventually be with someone else, but it wouldn’t be the same,” Kristina says.
“Well then that wouldn’t be fair to the other person,” Stassi argues.
“No, that person could probably give me things that Max never gave me, but it would never be the same. I would never feel as connected. Yeah, it would be an unfortunate relationship if somebody came after him,” Kristina admits.
“That’s why I don’t believe in the one true love,” Stassi says.
“But Max is never going to leave me or die,” Kristina says.
“Knock on wood sister, Jesus Christ,” Stassi says. “I’ll do it for you.”
“We have a good relationship,” Kristina says. “Obviously we fight, we’re not perfect. I’m not sitting here saying it’s a perfect relationship. It’s not ever perfect. But we’re very compatible, we agree on the same things, we disagree on the same things—though not always. I always tell people in relationships, ‘It’s always healthy to have separate friends, it’s always healthy to have separate jobs, it’s always healthy to have separate hobbies. Do your own thing. Don’t always be so connected throughout the day.’ He goes and does his thing and I go and do mine.”
“Cool, Kristina.”
“I’m telling you, nothing is ever perfect.”
“Social media now has fucked up dating, it’s fucked everything up,” Stassi sayd. “It’s why people cheat, it’s why people don’t commit because there’s always something better.”
“I went a little crazy-girl on Max when he was away in Germany because the whole day I was like, ‘He hasn’t texted me, why isn’t he messaging me, he’s been messaging me every day sweet stuff and now he’s not,’ and instantly my mind goes there, still, even though in seven years of happiness he’s never done anything, he’s perfect,” Kristina says. “I was like, ‘Well maybe he just doesn’t have wifi or maybe his phone is put away,’ so I went on Instagram and I got a little psycho and I was like, ‘Let’s see if he’s been on Instagram,’ — you know how you can look at see what the people you follow are liking. I looked through and sure enough, Max started following a few hours ago, like, two Instagrams. I was just like, ‘He’s cheating on me, he’s going to break up with me, he’s not coming home from Germany. This is it. I’m going to be all alone forever.'”
“That is amazing,” Stassi gasps.
“Then I even go crazier and I message him and I’m like, ‘I’m not feeling the love while you’re away,’ and he immediately writes back,” Kristina continues. “This just goes to show — psycho girl, perfect boyfriend. He’s like, ‘Oh well I just know with the time difference you’re sleeping so I figured I’d text you when you were awake. You’re tripping, you’re trippin. And also, I’m with my family and I don’t want to be on my phone the whole time.'”
“That I agree with,” Stassi says.
“But that’s when I went psycho even more and I went, ‘Oh really?’ And I took screenshots of the Instagrams he started following and I said, ‘Because you’ve been on Instagram.’ He just wrote back, ‘I was on it for like a second and I put my phone away. You’re trippin’. What’s up? Are you having a bad day? Are you getting your period? What’s going on?’ And he was like, ‘I’ve spent the whole day looking for a Christmas present for you and I found the perfect Christmas present and I’m so excited to come home and give it to you, and that’s the text message I just got from you?'”
“That suuuucks. I bet you felt like dick,” Stassi says.
“I just stared at the text message like, ‘Noooooo,'” Kristina says.
“I hope you send a nudie photo right after that to make up for it. See Kristina, I love that you’re just as psycho as I am because even though you have the most healthy relationship ever, you’re still fucking cray,” Stassi says.
“I’m telling you, nothing is ever perfect,” Kristina says. “I just found a guy who knows how to handle it.”
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