All over the world, fans pack sports stadiums everywhere. Some do it to let loose and yell at athletes like an idiot while getting intoxicated, while purists attend games to watch their favorite players perform at a high level. Others go to close business deals or just for good old wholesome family entertainment.
However, all the thrill of a live sporting event isn’t always enough to fill the seats in the arena, even if the teams playing are winners. That’s why sports teams have a promotions department….to dream up events and ideas that puts butts in the seats. There are some good ones for sure, like the Toronto Blue Jays giving away replica jerseys. Unfortunately there are also some very, very bad ones…
15. Be Bald Like Buhner
The 1990s incarnation of the Seattle Mariners had some bankable stars on its roster. Randy Johnson and Ken Griffey Jr. were two of the most dominant players at their positions for more than a decade. They hogged most of the the glory, but there were other quirkier players on the team back then, namely outfielder Jay Buhner. He was a decent hitter who sported a bald ‘do and facial hair that made him look intimidating. The Mariners’ promotion staff, though, weren’t scared to run a promo around him. So they did a promo where fans could get free tickets if they agreed to shave their head bald. Weird, but original…
(AP Photo/Nick Wass)
Many Major League Baseball teams host a day for four-legged friends. It’s cute and all but let’s face it, dogs are just there for spilled popcorn and leftover hot dogs. And, between the cute girls to the front, the drunkards to the side and the old people behind who are allergic to animals, your dog is just a nuisance. Sitting around for three plus hours with your furry little buddy might make a fan more inclined to sniff their own butt.
(AP Photo/Alex Brandon)
On February 27, 2009, Chicago Blackhawks captain and co-MVP Jonathan Toews scored his first career hat trick in a 5-4 overtime loss to the Pittsburgh Penguins. After his third goal, the fans saluted his efforts by throwing their hats on the ice, a common-place tradition in hockey. As luck would have it, it was Hard Hat Night at the United Center. It wouldn’t have taken a rocket surgeon to see that this might turn out bad. Fortunately, nobody on the ice got beaned.
One of the best players on the Cleveland Indians’ 2009 roster was catcher Victor Martinez. He could hit and play solid defence. In honour of his prowess, the team gave away Martinez bobbleheads to all fans in attendance at an Aug. 1 game. A few days later they also gave away a few limited edition autographed backpacks, signed by Martinez. While these two promotions weren’t goofy or mismanaged in anyway, they were too little too late. That’s because Martinez was traded to the Boston Red Sox the day before the bobbleheads were to be given away. Nothing like timing…
(AP Photo/Tony Dejak)
When Bobby Holik was still playing for the New Jersey Devils, he was a giant pain in the ass to Mats Sundin, the captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs. A hard fought game in Jersey during one particular playoff series featured a lot of rough play between Holik and Sundin. At one point in the game, Holik nailed the Leafs legend, a hit the blue and white clearly didn’t like. The next night in Toronto, a handful of fights took place, including a bout that featured Gary Roberts knocking the Devils’ Randy Mckay loopy. The first 5,000 fans in the building that night got pucks, and most of them ended up on the ice after that bout. Needless to say things got a little scary…
(AP Photo/Bill Kostroun)
Minor league baseball teams have done some crazy things to get fans in the stands. In one instance, the West Michigan Whitecaps ran a $1,000 cash drop promotion at a game. The promotion is exactly what it sounds like, a helicopter flew over the field and made it rain dollar bills. Considering a few hundred fans probably showed up at the game, the average fan with a beer and a hot dog in hand probably managed to scrape together 5 or 10 bucks at the end of it all.
(AP Photo/Grand Rapids Press, Delbridge Langdon Jr.)
A vuvuzela is a large plastic horn that makes a ton of unpleasant noise. The instrument gained international fame and notoriety at the 2010 World Cup of Soccer in South Africa. Anyone who watched the tournament that summer probably watched many games on mute, that’s how bad it was. Despite the clearly annoying sound Vuvuzelas create, the Florida Marlins decided to give them away to thousands of fans in a game against the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Everyone hated it, making it one of the worst ever baseball promotions. The length of most major league games is bad enough and nine innings of vuvuzela would drive most fans around the bend.
This promotion was a handful of poop coming out of left field, seriously. The West Virginia minor league baseball team thought it would be awesome to salute plumbers by closing all of the bathrooms in the stadium and having fans use porta-johns outside the ballpark instead. Local bylaws snuffed that idea, so the publicity staff went on to the next bright idea, allowing fans to toss smashed-up brownies onto the field in the aptly named “poo toss”. What a stupid idea, and just plain gross.
The Fresno Grizzlies are the Triple-A affiliate of the San Francisco Giants. Being the promotions manager of a minor league team from Fresno means having to honor D-list celebs, like Fresno native and pop sensation Kevin Federline. Britney Spears’ former background dancer and husband reached D-List level fame through his relationship with her. His only claim to real fame was owning an infamous record label — for a about a week. How anybody at the Grizzlies front office thought K-Fed would add value to a night out at the ballpark is beyond comprehension.
(AP Photo/Carlo Allegri)
In March of 2010, the Cleveland Cavaliers promo team decided a great way to pack the Quicken Loans Arena would be to appeal to fans to try and set a world record. They found a sure way to do so by ordering mass amounts of Snuggies for their fans, well over 20,000 in fact. How Snuggies went on to be so successful is baffling — they’re really just backwards robes. They look ridiculous, but then again the Lebron-less Cavaliers were pretty much a joke.
(AP Photo/Tony Dejak)
There’s always a ton of controversy surrounding pro sports logos and what they symbolize. Just ask Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder. He’s faced a lot of social and political pressure to change the un-PC like name of his storied franchise. Who could argue that given that we live in a society where intolerance is not acceptable. That didn’t stop the Cleveland Indians, however, from giving away blankets emblazoned with the cartoonish “Chief Wahoo” on them. The blankets then gave many fans the idea to come to the stadium dressed like Hollywood Indians, which set off a firestorm of criticism from Native American activists.
(AP Photo/Joseph Darwal)
In June 1974, the Cleveland Indians ran a promotion where fans could get as many as six 12-ounce cups of beer for just 10 cents a pop. Fans got so drunk, they started a riot in the ninth inning, forcing the Indians to forfeit the contest. The funny thing is, the team had actually been running similar promotions for the previous three seasons without anything horrible happening. This time around though, the Indians and Texas Rangers had been apart of a bench-clearing brawl a week earlier in Arlington. So the rematch in Cleveland was more intense and beer-fueled fans didn’t help matters.
In a game against St. Louis in 1995, the Los Angeles Dodgers’ promotions team thought it would be a great idea to give every fan a commemorative baseball. Exciting stuff, and no need to bring your own glove or beg the third baseman, mascot or the ball boy to throw you one. The problem with that promo was that the Dodgers weren’t exactly lighting it up at that time. They played so bad that day the fans threw their balls onto the field, not once or twice but three times. The third volley caused the game to be canceled and for the sad-sack Dodgers to forfeit.
The Minnesota Twins once gave away road maps at a home game. Why a publicist would think locals would value a road map of their home city is beyond goofy. Maybe the average Twins fan had nothing to cheer about while getting wasted in the stands and the map was useful in finding their way home. Who knows? All in all, the fans in the stadium didn’t see any value in them, as most of the maps ended up all over the field, folded into paper airplanes. Not exactly the smartest promotion night ever invented.
(AP Photo/Ann Heisenfelt)
On July 12, 1979 the Chicago White Sox’ brass that it would be an awesome idea to pay tribute to disco music from the 70′s…well sort of. The team faced off against the Detroit Tigers that night and decided it would be a great idea to let fans vent by destroying disco records. What ended up happening was absolute mayhem. The crowd got so riled up throughout the game that a huge riot ensued. Eventually, the field was filled with fans tearing up the turf and throwing beer cans after an enormous stack of disco records was blown up.