Professional athletes are supposed to play for the crest on the front of the jersey and not the name on the back. You’ll consider that a good motto for an athlete to live by when you go through this list of the 15 most awesome names in sports history. Truth be told, there are probably a lot more than 15 of them, but we’ll to stick to the funniest and most unique of the crop. Some of these have a nice ring to them, and some are just straight up inappropriate. Makes you wonder what state of mind the parents were in when they named the poor kid.
15. Dick Butkus
There are several obvious reasons why this name is awesome. First, Dick Butkus was one of the greatest linebackers in Chicago Bears and NFL history. As well, he was quite the personality as a coach and now as a television analyst. Then there is the name itself. Although it’s not spelled like the way it sounds, the fact that it sounds like “butt-kiss” brings out the immature school boy in all of us. On top of that, the first name Dick automatically produces giggling and snickers. It’s a great name for a memorable hardcore football player.
(AP Photo/Charles Bennett)
What the heck is a Shaquille? That’s probably what most of us thought when Shaquille O’Neal broke into the NBA with Orlando back in the early 90′s. He carved out quite a career for himself, winning four NBA titles, three NBA Finals MVP awards and ultimately going down as one of the greatest centers of all-time. He’s also one of the greatest personalities of all time. That and the fact that he is a larger-than-life kind of guy has probably inspired lots of parents out there today to name their little boys Shaquille, something that would’ve been absolutely unheard of only a few decades ago.
(AP Photo/Lynne Sladky, File)
This young lady’s name is pronounced “peek-ah-boo”. What more can we say? Peek-a-boo was just something our parents did to get us giggling as kids. As far as Picabo the skier, you should know that yes, it is her actual name, no lawyer required. Adding to her name is the fact that she’s gorgeous and also won a gold medal at the 1998 Olympics in Nagano, Japan. Picabo proved to be quite the competitor throughout her skiing career, even though her name reminds us of infants at play.
(AP Photo/Rudi Blaha)
There really is nothing like a classic Hawaiian name to frighten gridiron opponents. Though Chris Fuamatu-Ma’afala only scored eight touchdowns in his NFL career, his name no doubt struck fear in many a defender’s heart. It’s just a beastly name and no matter how many times you practice it, you still wonder whether you got it right or not. That’s the mark of a classic name, one that cannot be repeated and stands as its own unique, individual trademark. If Troy Polamalu didn’t have such immaculate hair, he would probably be mad jealous of Mr. Fuamatu-Ma’afala for having a better name.
(AP Photo/Keith Srakocic)
A name so nice you want to say it twice. Even though most of us can’t even say it once. Cameroon native Ruben Boumtje-Boumtje played in a grand total of 44 career games in the NBA. But his name was much more entertaining than his play on the court. Searching all over the Internet for how to say it, we still can’t figure it out. Even if his career lasted a decade or more, the NBA and its broadcasters would be hard-pressed to find announcers that can actually nail the proper way to say it. To say the least, it does sound strong and warrior like.
He was born Covelli Crisp, but was given the nickname “Coco” by his sister. When the nickname stuck during his minor league days, he became known to everyone as the man with the name that sounds like a cereal. He has carved out quite a career for himself as a Major League Baseball player. Coco currently plays for the Oakland Athletics and is batting just over .250. He’s always been a very useful outfielder and his name makes us wonder what cereal he has when he wakes up in the morning. There’s only one cereal that would make complete sense to us, classic Cocoa Puffs. Crisp legally changed his name to Coco in 2013.
(AP Photo/Ben Margot)
Fred isn’t just your neighbor or that guy at work. It’s also the name of a striker on the Brazilian national soccer team. The cool part about Fred being from Brazil is that it is a country that typically only refers to its best soccer players by their last names. Think about it: Ronaldinho, Ronaldo, Neymar Jr. Could the average sports fan — who is not a soccer aficionado — give you the first names of any of those guys? Probably not. This is usually because Brazilians have multiple names that would be too long to put on a jersey or display on TV. Ronaldo’s full name is Ronaldo Luís Nazário de Lima, for example. Fred is otherwise known as Frederico Chaves Guedes.
(AP Photo/Eduardo Verdugo)
Take the first name of the most iconic character from The Simpsons. Then combine it with the last name of two former U.S. presidents. Voila! Homer Bush. Bush lasted seven seasons in baseball and was forced to retire early due to hip problems. In his best years with the Toronto Blue Jays, he did manage to bat over .300, which is pretty respectable. Given that his name was Homer, it would’ve been cool if he turned out to be a slugger. But Bush actually managed to hit only 11 home runs in his entire career. Talk about false advertising for a baseball player!
( CP PHOTO/Rene Johnston)
It’s not just the name of a board game company that designed Monopoly. It’s also the name of a famous (and sometimes infamous) baseball player. Unlike Monopoly however, Bradley the baseball player wasn’t nearly as much fun. At one point in his career Bradley was an All-Star, but the rest of it involved him doing stupid stuff. He ended up in several on-field scrums and gotten into it with fans and the media. Despite attending anger management counselling at the request of his bosses, Bradley still managed to bounce around between seven teams in just 11 seasons. He was just a big old hothead, period.
(AP Photo/Elaine Thompson)
Destinee Hooker is the name of a women’s volleyball player who once represented the U.S. national team at the Olympic Games. She was tall, slender, and athletic; standard assets for high performance volleyball player. But that moniker! Here’s hoping she has a very discreet side job that pays the bills when she’s not playing volleyball. Though she does have the perfect name for any form of adult entertainment, we suspect she has found something more wholesome to keep her busy. You know how the name of your first pet and the street you grew up on is supposed to combine to give you your very own adult entertainer alias? Well, it seems that Destinee didn’t need to play the game to end up with this unfortunate name.
(AP Photo/Jeff Roberson)
Dick Felt played defensive back in the NFL for seven seasons, mostly with the then Boston Patriots in the mid-60′s. Given how tough the game of football really is, you’ve got to be that much tougher when your name is Dick Felt. You know the wide receiver standing across from you is just going to laugh and snigger at you. Dick Felt is the kind of name that takes you back to third grade comedy, no matter how old you are. Perhaps people in the 60′s were just more mature than we are.
Kim Yoo-suk is the name of a South Korean pole vaulter. He represented his country in the 2008 and 2012 Summer Olympics, but failed to medal in either one. It’s probably because he couldn’t tell whether fans from his country were cheering him on or telling him he sucked. It’s probably a common name in South Korea, which is good for him. Had he grown up in North America though, he would have been a target in the schoolyard. But anyone who can successfully qualify for the Olympics definitely does not suck.
(AP Photo/Michael Sohn )
Rusty Kuntz played shortstop in the majors for seven seasons, mostly for the Chicago White Sox. He was a career .236 hitter and never appeared in more than 84 games in a season. A fringe player at best. His name however was anything but marginal. It’s original and hilarious. No matter how many times you say it, trying not to think of it as rude and vulgar, it still makes you laugh. We wonder why he didn’t just go by his given name of Russell. Maybe he thought it was just as funny as we do.
(AP Photo/Paul Sancya)
Like Rusty, at least this guy’s first name is just a nickname. That would be his only saving grace here. You can bet that NBA executives on the draft floor in 1978 only referred to him by his real name, John Arthur Cox III. Cox played in the CBA for the Philadelphia Kings and one season for the Washington Bullets in the NBA. He wasn’t all that memorable on the court, but at least his name goes down as one of the funniest ever. Even funnier was that he actually wasn’t pudgy at all, especially compared to a guy like Big Baby Glen Davis. Oddly enough, Cox is a relative (through marriage) of superstar Kobe Bryant.
You can bet this guy did everything he could to make sure people pronounced his last name Pew-Zee. He no doubt tried, but it probably still came off sounding like a female body part. This name makes you wonder if people do reach a certain level of maturity as they get older. If you ask Mr. Pusey, is likely an affirmative no. Pusey was a linebacker for Eastern Illinois University, a big enough school that we can confirm he did actually play. But it is also a small enough school to keep him and his name out of the major U.S. media spotlight. He apparently had his name legally changed to Lucious Seymour. Probably a smart idea.