We have all heard the term “eating your feelings”, but only a few people have actually LIVED it. My friend, and nationally known author, Mark Brennan Rosenberg is one of those people. In his newest book, Eating My Feelings: Tales of Overeating, Underperforming, and Coping with My Crazy Family, he talks about growing up a “fat kid in a family of thin”. In his book, he tells us stories of him growing up and learning life lessons; whether it be going as Homey Da Clown for Halloween (in blackface), or hiring a personal trainer, simply because he wanted to sleep with him. Mark is the epitome of “sassy gay friend”, and his new book is laugh-out-loud hilarious. I got to talk to Mark, before his appearance on September 17, at the Highland Inn Ballroom at 7 p.m., about inspiration with the book, growing up gay, and how you “can never really take the fat girl out of the boy”!
Mark! Hi there! Congrats on the success of your new book!
Thank you! I’m glad you like it! It was a fun book to write, and I’m just glad that people are receiving it well.
Well, trust me, they are! So, I like to start out every interview the same way, so forgive me for this tired old question. For those of us who don’t know you, who is Mark Brennan Rosenberg?
Oh God. This question! [Laughs] Well, Mark, he’s a pain in the ass – and not the good kind! Ya know, I’m just like your typical sassy New Yorker. I really don’t know! I’m just kind of real. I’m just a real person and I write about real things and hope that they resonate with the people who read it, whether it be a gay man or a middle-aged straight woman, as long as it resonates, I’ve done my job.
What I love about Eating My Feelings is that by reading the book, it was like hearing myself talk. It was quirky, bitchy, and funny. Before I picked up the book, I had never heard of you. But I was sold simply by the title and ice cream on the cover! If you were to try to describe your book to our readers, what would you say to sell it?
It’s about issues that everyone deals with, not just mine. Everyone has a relation with themselves in the mirror. And sometimes we don’t like that relationship. This book is about everything from growing up fat to being an adult and not accepting me, and not respecting myself. It was a long road to that headspace, until finally one day I realized that everyone sucks but me. [Laughs] And that has helped a lot.
What is your favorite story/chapter in the book?
“Blackface Halloween” is so funny because it’s so innocent, ya know? It was this innocent mistake that turned into this huge debacle. I thought it was fun! At that age, I didn’t see the racism aspect. So that’s just one of those stories that everyone goes back to.
Oh, and the P90X story! That’s a fun one. It’s relatable because most people do a program like that, whether it be dieting or exercise or any of that shit. The whole Grindr aspect of the story was cute, too. It’s funny how much I learned in those 12 weeks about dating and exercise. I’ll tell you one thing I learned right now: online dating fucking sucks!
In the book, you leave your hometown and become a “New York Gay”. What is the NYC dating life like?
Oh my God, it’s horrible. It’s awful. When people move to the city to date, I think they’re idiots. It’s so bad. There are just so many gay people. Honestly, I think it’s a horrible place to be straight or gay. In NYC, people are always looking for the next big thing: the next big bar, or club, or show. Everyone is always looking for something better. And that, unfortunately, translates to dating as well.
[Laughs] I outsourced to find a boyfriend. I went all the way to Washington, DC to find one. Gay guys here in NYC are so nasty and catty, and everyone has unnecessary attitude. Ya know? It’s a bar on Friday night, and all anyone does is play on their phones. It used to be so much friendlier, now it’s SO not fun. It’s all about who you see, and who ya know. You promote a bar on Friday nights? Great! Chances are, people are only friends with you for the free drinks. It’s just stupid.
Growing a “fat kid”, are there certain walls/defenses you have to build up in order to protect yourself? Whether it be through self-deprecating humor or otherwise?
That’s pretty much it. I became the comedian. And I had the worst mouth as a child. When I was little, and I would go to my cousin’s house and I would curse up a storm, and they wouldn’t believe that I cussed like that. People would ask my parents if I was always like that and it was just like “Well, yeah. That’s just Mark.”
In the last chapter of the book, you talk about your nieces and nephews and the way you write about them, there’s just obviously so much love for them. Do you think you’ll ever have children of your own?
Well I just got a cat, and he’s like a kid. I mean, I’m treating him like a kid, at least. He’s such an asshole, but I loved him automatically. I don’t know if I’ll ever have kids of my own. I love my nieces and nephews but I don’t know if that’s in the cards for me. Lots of people have this vision of what they want their wedding to be but I was never like that. I don’t think it’s not important. I just have too much going on right now.
In writing this book, was there some sort of cathartic therapy that came about?
You know, I think honestly, whenever my first book came out, there was a therapy to it. But for this one, there wasn’t. Eating My Feelings was meant to be more of a continuation of the first one. The first book “Blackouts and Breakdowns” was about me getting sober, and was written while I was going through it. Writing is something that always helps me focus and stay calm. And actually, ya know, I guess it is therapeutic. It’s always nice to have people read your shit and them like it. I’m not an actor, I’m not a stage performer. I don’t have that instant gratification. I write a book and I wait until it comes out 3 years later, so to get the validation that people like what I’m doing is amazing.
So you said the NYC dating scene sucks, maybe you should try to date a Southern man! Are you single? And if so, what do you look for in a man?
[Laughs] I am not single anymore, actually. I started dating someone in January, and it was too late to change the back of the book, so we just didn’t. We’ve been together about 8 months now. And he’s great and wonderful. When he met my mom, she actually turned to me and said: “what the fuck is he doing with you?” He deals with my craziness and I deal with his. It’s been great!
Are you excited about coming down to Atlanta?
Oh yeah! I used to go to Atlanta a lot! Back in my drinking days, watch the fuck out! We’d go to Backstreet and it was just the most fun down south. Everyone’s so nice (to your face, at least). I think it’s a great place to be gay, there’s so many fun things to do and it’s the comparable thing the south has to NYC. I’ll be out at my book signing then I’m gonna be out hitting the town! I love doing karaoke because my singing voice is offensive!
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If you want to catch Mark doing readings from his new book, Eating My Feelings, you can see him at the Highland Inn Ballroom at 7 p.m. on September 17, and then join him for karaoke afterwards.
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Photo Credit: Eric James