2015-04-26

durp

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Now, before you ask, this is NOT about Garry Newman. It is about another person...or something. I don't know who this is, but he's making my life an infernal nightmare. This pasta is entirely real, and I have a TON of steam pictures to prove it, but I cannot upload them. Anyway, on with the story.

== The Pasta ==

I'm an avid Blockland fan. I own a few addons and host a Pokemon RP. I am also an admin on many servers. One day, I was playing on a FNaF roleplay server when someone named "Garry" joined. It took him almost a minute to spawn, and I wished I wasn't on that server at that moment.

His avatar was a neutral blockhead, but his color scheme was softer, making him look like he has only a drop of blood in him. He acted like a bot, just walking around and using the spraycan every now and then. The wierdest thing, though, was that he always managed to find the players. I even hid under a table to escape, but he managed to find me there. He was also killing the mood, so the host kicked him. I took no heed to the man, but I should have taken him seriously. If it weren't for my ignorance, I wouldn't be in a fight for my sanity.

Eventually, I hosted my own server, when I had to go shopping. An hour later, I went back to the server (in AFK mode), and according to the chatlog, Garry DDOS'd it. Eventually, the server was active when someone joined. He made a green baseplate with a gravestone on it with a stool. One of the legs was missing and replaced by a blinking round plate. Clicking it said this:

''"he isn't who you think he is"''

''"i can't tell you anymore"''

After some reasoning, I figured out that he was talking about none other than Garry. We decided to team up, so I friended him on steam. All he knew was that he has abnormal abilities:

Entering and leaving a server without the chat saying that he did

Using the admin orb without admin

Correctly guessing the admin pass every time without anyone telling him

He also said that he talks, but in reverse. According to him, he once joined his server and said this thing in reverse:

"I can't take it anymore. It keeps following me. I need help, I think I'm going mad. He is everywhere. Help me. Help me. Help me."

That was just plain odd, to say the least.

A couple of days later, I was on another server, when you-know-who joined. He acted like he did on the other server, and the host decided to put him in a windowed cage. Then someone put a dildo in there as a joke. He then said "mean;[" and he was gone. I found him somewhere near the main map, where he dissapeared. He left without the chat saying so.

He constantly joined other servers that I was on, but he didn't act like a bot. He sat down and quivered, doing the alarm emote. The weird thing was that there were lights everywhere as if someone evented an invisible brick. He then left.

Eventually, on another server, I found another weird thing about Garry. He does literally everything you tell him to do. You can even make him vomit all over someone's pants.

I then decided to take this further once Billy (that's what I'll call my friend) told me that Garry also plays G.Mod. The only way he can tell is that he says things in reverse. He also built 3 obscure things.

1:He created a ragdoll in a chair with a rope tied around his neck. The other end was tied to a tree. Eventually, a black figure with seperated limbs appeared, causing Billy to crash.

2: He made a crying person in the 'dark room' of GM_Construct. You could actually hear sobbing, which wasn't even an official G.Mod sound. Garry then left, taking the ragdoll with him.

3: He built a legitimate house. When Billy entered, he saw the same black figure and crashed. When he rejoined, Garry was gone, and the house looks like it exploded, as the pieces were on fire.

Then I joined an NFOServer, and I saw the exact same figure. After 2 seconds, he dissapeared. I then just left. Another day, I joined the same NFOServer, and Xenophilia (that's what I decided to name the figure) was spazzing in and out of existance infront of me. He then said "I hate you two."

That day, I gave up going on NFOServers and go only to the server I know is perfectly safe. I quit Blockland.

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