Executive Summary
The following is a summary and review of the book How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. In the first section of this report you will find the ten things managers need to know from the book, How to Win Friends and Influence People. It is important for managers to avoid criticizing their employees and it is important for them to give honest and sincere appreciation. It is also important for managers to show an interest in the things their employees say. Managers should focus on utilizing steps to avoid arguments with employees and they should immediately admit when they make mistakes. Managers should always show respect for their employee’s opinions. If an employee makes a mistake, it is important for the manager to commend them on their achievements and suggest ways they could improve. Managers should always approach their employees in a friendly manner and should avoid giving them orders. Last but not least, managers should be sure to remember their employees names because that is the sweetest sound to any one’s ears. Managers have the ability to be much more effective if they follow these ten things.
A full summary of How to Win Friends and Influence People follows the ten things that managers should know about the book. This section of the report breaks down the book into four parts: Fundamental Techniques of Handling Peoples, Ways to Make People Like You, How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking, and Be a Leader: How to Change People without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment. Each section is then broken down into chapters and each chapter represents a principle. This in-depth analysis of the book will help understand its main concepts.
Following the executive summary, you will find a video I found on YouTube from CBS. The video includes an interview with the Carnegie Empire’s most recent CEO. He tells of the success the company is having after more than seventy-five years of operation
Following the video lounge, you will find my personal insights of the book. You will also find the things I would have done differently if I were the author of the book. For example, I would eliminate some of the repetitious principles covered in the book.
Next you will find how the book changed the way I think about certain things. I realized that by following the steps on avoiding an argument and by controlling my temper, an argument can be evaded. The book made me realize I need to pay more attention to the things people converse with me about and that I need to try harder to remember names. I realized that I need to make sure I constantly demonstrate my appreciation for all of the things people do for me in a day.
I have included the things I learned from the book and that I have chosen to implement in my career. I now have the tools and knowledge to better handle employees. I will use everything I learned in the book to become a better coworker and manager.
Lastly, I have compiled a few reviews that I found of the book. Each one of the reviews wrote that the book is still relevant today and that it is helpful in improving social interactions with others at work and at home.
The Ten Things Managers Need to Know from How to Win Friends and Influence People
1. It is important for managers not to criticize employees. Often managers make the mistake of yelling at employees or demanding they follow commands, and intern employees develop resentment towards their manager. Managers should take a different approach and ask employees why they are not doing things a certain way and follow up by reminding them of the benefits they receive from following procedures.
2. It is important for managers to give honest and sincere appreciation to employees. Employees can tell when a manager is just saying nice things to get the job done. Rather than flattering employees, managers should demonstrate their sincere appreciation to employees for every little thing they do.
3. It is important for managers to be sincerely interested in what their employees are telling them. Employees may just want to discuss how they feel about something at work and it is important for them to feel like their opinions have value. Keeping the platform open for discussion helps facilitate a healthy organization.
4. It is important for managers to know the steps to avoiding an argument. Managers can use several techniques when an angry employee approaches them with a problem. The manager should pay attention to why the employee feels a certain way and they should take time to consider how to approach the situation before it is discussed.
5. Managers should always respect the opinions of their employees. If the manager makes a point to listen to an employee’s suggestions on how to change a process, the manager should listen attentively to their ideas. A manager should never tell an employee they are wrong because it will put them on the defense. Managers should make suggestions on why the current process may be more efficient than their ideas.
6. If a manager is wrong, they should always admit it. Once the manager admits their mistake, they should go ahead and beat employees to the punch by saying the things they know employees are thinking.
7. If an employee has done something incorrectly, instead of scolding them, the manager should first acknowledge all the things they have done correctly. It is important to ensure that employees know you recognize their accomplishments before suggesting ways they can improve.
8. Managers should refrain from giving employees orders. They should ask employees for their input on how they believe something could be done differently. By using the golden rule, managers can convince employees to complete tasks that may be less than desirable to them.
9. Managers should always approach employees in a friendly manner. If the employee expects a negative reaction from a manager, they will be surprised if the manager gives them a friendly reaction.
10. Managers should be sure to remember employee names correctly. The sweetest sound to any person’s ears is their name. Managers should make a point to call employees by their names often.
Full Summary of How to Win Friends and Influence People
Part 1:Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
Chapter 1: ”If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive.”
There are three basic fundamental techniques when handling people. The first principle is to be sure to not criticize, condemn, or complain. Too often managers see an employee doing something incorrectly and immediately point it out in a demanding manner which can result in lost motivation. Rather than criticizing employees, managers should take a different approach and work to discover why employees are not following procedures in the first place. For example, if employees should be wearing hard hats in a factory, the manager should ask if they are uncomfortable or why they are not wearing them. Managers should follow up with telling employees why doing something, such as wearing a hard hat, benefits them. At the end of the day employees could care less that they should be wearing hard hats because it is part of the procedures. They only care about what is in it for them.
Chapter 2: The Big Secret of Dealing with People
The second principle when handling people is to give honest and sincere appreciation. People can tell when managers are just flattering them. A manager will earn more respect from their employees if they take the time to give an employee their honest opinion. Also, managers should try to take provide employees with as much sincere appreciation as possible. It is important to always look for something to compliment them about. After all, everyone desires to feel important.
Chapter 3: “He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot, walks a lonely way.”
The third principal when handling people is to arouse the other person of an eager want. You should strive to find out what other people want and desire. Talk to them about what they want to hear and this could benefit you. If people feel you are interested in them, they will do more to find out what you want and help you get it.
Part 2: Ways to Make People Like You
Chapter 1: Do This and You will be Welcome Anywhere
There are six basic principles to make other people like you. The first principle is to become genuinely interested in other people. For instance, ask people how they are doing and actually pay attention and remember details that are important. This can be very beneficial if you work in the customer service industry and have a number of repeat customers. By remembering conversation pieces that are important to them, you are able to talk to them about it in the future and make customers believe you truly care about them.
Chapter 2: A Simple Way to Make a Good Impression
Principle two is to always smile. Even if you are having a bad day and you put on a smile, you are likely to be happier. When you have a conversation with someone, it is important to ensure your smile is genuine because anyone can see through a fake smile and will know you do not sincerely mean it.
Chapter 3: If You Don’t Do This, You are Headed for Trouble
The third principle is to remember a person’s name, which is the sweetest sound to them. When someone introduces himself or herself to you, try to make an association with their name and make it a point to remember it for the next time you see them. I am the worst at remembering names, but I tried this at work when I met someone new and the next time I saw them I made a point to call out their name. The woman’s face lit up with a great big smile. It is always important to remember not to call someone by the wrong name. Someone may not notice you remembered their name but call them by the wrong name once and they will never forget.
Chapter Four: An Easy Way to Become a Good Conversationalist
The fourth principle is to be a good listener. Instead of talking about yourself, encourage others to talk about themselves, after all, that is what is most important to them. Show you are generally interested in what they desire and ask questions.
Chapter 5: How to Interest People
The fifth principle is to talk in terms of the other person’s interest. Try to find a way to be an active listener and chime in about things you know about the topic the person chooses to pursue a conversation about. If you are going to see this person again, you should make a point to research or study up on the topic if you do not know much about it in order to bring it up in a future conversation.
Chapter 6: How to Make People Like You Instantly
The final principle of making people like you is to make other people feel important. Everyone likes to feel important and valued. Compliments and sincere appreciation are free and will take you far in life. No matter where you are, if you compliment anyone on the job they are doing, you will make them important. Sometimes a simple compliment can make someone’s whole face brighten and can change their attitude for the rest of the day.
Part 3: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
Chapter 1: You Can’t Win an Argument
The first principle is to remember that the only way to get the best out of an argument is to avoid it. Just like in War Games, “Sometimes the best way to win is not to play.” At the end of the day, arguments do not solve anything and leave both parties unhappy. Several suggestions are made in the book to help avoid arguments. By distrusting your first instincts and being open to what the other party has to say, you may discover something you did not know in the first place. This might change your view on the subject. It is important to keep your temper in check. It is important to let the other person have a chance to discuss their point of view before you blow up. It is important to consider ways to find a possible agreement or solution to the disagreement. It is important to apologize if you are in the wrong. This will sometimes help take the other person off guard. Thank the other person for their thoughts and opinions and think about them before the subject is brought up again.
Chapter 2: A Sure Way of Making Enemies-and How to Avoid It
The second principle is to show respect for the other person’s opinions. If you do not see eye to eye with another individual, it is important to never tell him or her they are wrong. Even if you know they are definitely incorrect, this will do nothing but put them on the defense. You should always use the approach of stating maybe you are the one that is incorrect. By using this approach, you will have more of a chance of getting the other party to work with you rather than them working against you.
Chapter 3: If You are Wrong, Admit It
The third principle is to admit that you are wrong as soon as you find out. Be quick to apologize and say the harsh things that you know they are thinking and wanting to say to you. By taking this approach, the other person may change their reaction and will be less likely to take a defensive approach to you. They may be more open to what you have to say.
Chapter 4: A Drop of Honey
The fourth principle is to begin everything in a friendly manner. If people do something and expect and argument or a negative reaction from you, they will be shocked by a positive friendly response. In this scenario, acting in a friendly manner will usually stop the argument and you will get a friendly response.
Chapter 5: The Secret of Socrates
The fifth principle is to get people to say “yes, yes.” Instead of asking a question outright, that you know a person is going to say no to, start by asking question they will say yes to. Before you know it, you will get a yes response to the question that they would have previously said no.
Chapter 6: The Safety Valve in Handling Complaints
The sixth principle is to let the other person do a great deal of the talking. Only talk about your accomplishments when other people ask about them. Let other people brag about their accomplishments and this will make them feel important. This helps build a stronger relationship because people will feel like you care about the things they do rather than just the things you do.
Chapter 7: How to Get Cooperation
The seventh principle is to make the other person feel that the idea is his or her idea. People are more likely to do what you want if you get them to believe that if was their idea in the first place. Instead of trying to sell someone something, you could try to convince him or her that they need or want something and then have an option available.
Chapter 8: A Formula that Will Work Wonders for You
The eighth principle is to try to see the other person’s point of view. Think about why a person may view something differently than you do. Put yourself in their shoes and see if you can understand where they are coming from.
Chapter 9: What Everybody Wants
The ninth principle is to be sympathetic with other people’s ideas and desires. People want to feel understood and have their feelings acknowledged. It is important not to blame people for how they think or feel because they are conditioned through their upbringing to feel that way. Try to be point out that you would feel similarly if you were in their shoes.
Chapter 10: An Appeal that Everybody Likes
The tenth principle is to appeal to nobler motives. According to James Pierpont Morgan, people have two motives for doing things, one that sounds good and the real reason. In other words, a person usually has a necessary motivation for doing something but their stated reason is more glamorous or sounds better than it really is. For example, starting a new job because you need money but telling people you wanted to do the job to help people.
Chapter 11: The Movies Do It. TV Does It. Why Don’t You Do It?
The eleventh principle is to dramatize you ideas. People are generally more interested in listening to something that is more vivid or colorful. If you have to explain something boring, you want to make it as lively as possible to keep people focused on your idea. Stating facts may be very informative but people will not remember them if they are not interested.
Chapter 12: When Nothing Else Works, Try This
The twelfth principle is to issue a challenge. People are generally competitive by nature and are more inclined to participate when feeling like they have a chance to win. If you want your company’s sales to increase, make it a competition between employees so they will strive to be the best. The ones who do not win, will try harder the next time.
Part 4: Be a Leader: How to Change People without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
Chapter 1: If You Must Find Fault, This is the Way to Begin
Principle one is to always begin with praise and honest appreciation. If you must criticize someone, always start by praising them first. You want to make sure not to break people down and to let them know that you do see the things they do correctly.
Chapter 2: How to Criticize-and Not be Hated For It
The second principle is to indirectly call attention to a person’s mistakes. You want to use a positive approach to a problem instead of a negative conjunction. If an employee arrived late for work, you may want to say, “I noticed you stayed late yesterday and I appreciate it. Just make sure if does not keep you from arriving on time tomorrow.”
Chapter 3: Talk About Your Own Mistakes First
The third principle is to talk about your own mistakes before pointing out someone else’s mistakes. People generally accept criticism better if you show them that you are not perfect either. Let them know that you also make mistakes and give them suggestions on how to overcome obstacles.
Chapter 4: No One Likes to Take Orders
The fourth principle is to ask question instead of giving direct orders. Rather than demanding people do something, give them the opportunity to correct it themselves. Make suggestions or ask them if there is a way they believe they should do something differently. You will get a much more positive response from people with this technique than you would if you shout a command at someone.
Chapter 5: Let the Other Person Save Face
The fifth principle is to let the other person save face. Try to avoid putting someone down and allow them to justify their actions. It is important to avoid destroying someone’s ego.
Chapter 6: How to Spur People to Success
The sixth principle is to praise every improvement no matter how big or small and do so often. People have a desire to know that they are doing a good job and want their efforts to be acknowledged. It is important to be specific when praising and employee rather than just saying they did a great job.
Chapter 7: Give a Dog a Good Name
The seventh principle is to give a person a fine reputation to live up to. People generally do better whenever they know you expect them to or that you believe they can do better. A person does not want to let you down when you have a high opinion of them.
Chapter 8: Make the Fault Seem Easy to Correct
The eighth principle is to use encouragement and to make mistakes seem easily fixable. It is important to not over criticize a small problem. People are more likely to improve when you make their mistakes seem minuscule. It is always easier to overcome a small obstacle.
Chapter 9: Making People Glad to Do What You Want
The ninth principle is to make a person happy about doing what you suggest. It is important to know what you want from the person and how to go about achieving that goal. Try to point out the benefits a person will receive by doing what you suggest and relate them to something they want.
The Video Lounge
The above clip is a video from CBS. Peter Handle, the most recent CEO of the Carnegie Empire, reported that 8 million people have taken Dale Carnegie courses. The courses cover simple, common sense things like smiling and apologizing to people, but it is surprising that people have to take the class to really understand how it can change their interaction with others.
Personal Insights
The author is one of the most brilliant people around because everything he talks about in this book is relevant today in the business world and in your personal life. The book was originally published in the 1920s and his basic tips of how to deal with people still hold value today. I have already implemented a few of Dale Carnegie’s tips and I have seen that people really do respond positively to the behaviors he implements in this book.
If I were the author of the book, I would have done these three things differently:
1. I would have combined several of the principles in each of the sections, because some of the sections of the book were repetitive. I felt like several of the sections repeated the principle of listening to what others want. This could have just been stated in one part of the book instead of being brought to attention multiple times.
2. I think Dale Carnegie should have shortened some of his examples he provided for each of the principles. Since some of the principles were repetitive, I felt like he did not need to provide multiple examples.
3. Overall, I felt like Carnegie did a great job going into many details and really driving his point home of how successful you can be if you change your way of thinking. It surprised me that simple techniques can be used in your life and change the responses you receive from other. Overall, there is nothing else I would do differently if I were the author of this book.
Reading this book made me think differently about the topic in these ways:
1. After reading this book, it changed the ways I thought about when a disagreement arises between myself and other people, whether that be a work or in my personal life. I didn’t realize that by controlling the way I react to someone, I can change the entire situation and help avoid a confrontation.
2. This book made me realize that I need to learn to be a more attentive and active listener. I have a bad habit of not remembering peoples’ names or little details that they talk about and I realized that it is beneficial for me to remember these things and show that I do care what things are important to other people.
3. This book also made me think differently about showing my appreciation for the things other people do. Sometimes it is easy to get wrapped up in life and be quick to point out what someone is doing wrong and I forget to show them my appreciation for the things they are doing right. Demonstrating your appreciation to someone can change the way the act towards you.
I’ll apply what I’ve learned in this book in my career by:
1. Reading this book will really change how I deal with people in my career because it really helped me understand how to get people to like me. I did not realize how important it was to remember people’s names and little details about them. I have already made that something that I include in my daily life and I have received a lot of positive response.
2. I will also be able to use the section about avoiding an argument. This is something that I struggle with because I am usually the first to be put on the defense when I think someone else is wrong. Several of the steps in the process of avoiding an argument really made me think that I should implement them in my daily life.
3. After reading this book, I will work on being more of an active listener rather than a talker. The book made me realize that it is important to hold a conversation with other people and find out their interests. Working in human resources, I feel this would be beneficial when I am recruiting for jobs.
Here is a sampling of what others have said about the book and its author:
“What others have said about the book and its author?”
After researching reviews of the book, How to Win Friends and Influence People,
I found multiple reviews. Most of the reviews held the same consensus that the book is useful in social and business interactions. The first reviewer named Trent from the website the SimpleDollar.com, struggled with anxiety and was uncomfortable meeting people outside of his immediate social circle. He often had trouble interacting with his friends and family members. After reading the book, he gained confidence and learned how to function socially. Trent recommends the book to people that have similarly issues as he had but he does not believe the book would be useful to people who are already able to function socially.
The second review was from a website called GreenHornConnect.com. This site is a blog based out of Boston, MA and it is focused on promoting entrepreneurship. The author believes that many forms of media have become outdated and that most book, movies, and music lose their relevance quickly in modern times, but the book How to Win Friends and Influence people is an exception.
The third review was written by lukejamesmalone and he also agrees that this book still holds value in today’s society. He feels like purchasing this book is a great investment to make if someone would like to improve their social skills.
The fourth reviewer, kevinb, states this book is a classic and is a great handbook on human relations. The book has information that is relevant to his personal life and business.
As you can see, all reviews came to the same conclusion. This book still holds valuable information that is relevant in today’s society. It is a great investment for anyone to read and implement in their personal life and in their career.
Bibliography
Evanish, J. (no date). Book Review: Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. [Web log comment]. Retrieved from http://www.greenhornconnect.com/blog/book-review-dale-carnegies-how-win-friends-and-influence-people
Carnegie, Dale. (1936). How to win friends and influence people. New York: Pocket Books.
Hamm, T. (2007, June 10). Review: How to win friends and influence People. [Web log comment]. Retrieved from http://www.thesimpledollar.com/review-how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people/
KevinB. (2011, May 25). Personal improvement : Book summary. [Web log comment]. Retrieved from http://www.jfdperfsolutions.com/modules/news/article.php?storyid=126
CBS. (2012, January 15). Win friends and influence people, virtually. Retrieved November 6, 2013 from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R99zsvV_COQ&feature=youtu.be
Lukejamesmalone. (2013, January 01). Book Review: How to Win Friends and Influence People. [Web log comment]. Retrieved from http://manprovement.org/2013/01/01/book-review-how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people/
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Contact Information
To contact the author of this article, “The Business Edge: A Summary and Review of How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie,” please email Brittany.Needham@selu.edu.
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About the Publisher
David C. Wyld (dwyld@selu.edu) is the Laborde Professor of Management at Southeastern Louisiana University in Hammond, Louisiana. He is a management consultant, researcher/writer, and executive educator. He also serves as the Director of the Reverse Auction Research Center (http://reverseauctionresearch.org), a hub of research and news in the expanding world of competitive bidding. His website, My Management News, can be viewed at http://mymanagementnews.com/. He is also the author of the book, College Success 101. Learn more about the book at collegesuccess101book.com.
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