I am black. I am a woman. I am a veteran. I was raped in the military. I was abused in my marriage and childhood.
I could easily use any one of these to obtain a slave mentality. To blame every behavior, action or thought on my past. Or I could easily blame it on the fact I am a woman or black.
Or I could decide I am not what happened to me. I am not what happened to my ancestors. I had proud black grandparents that worked hard everyday. I had a father that worked hard to provide for and support his family.
I didn’t see blacks in my family give up or be angry and hear why they couldn’t do something. They showed us that is takes hard work to get what you want. They taught us pride and responsibility.
When acts of national racism hit we see riots in their own neighborhood and destroying property. They don’t have men in the neighborhoods standing there guiding them on how to act like men and not resort to childish behavior. How to follow the teachings of Martin Luther King and use your voice for the positive
It is with a hardened heart that I don’t see more adult black men hold young black men accountable for their behavior. Walking away from families and forgetting that son who needs the guidance.
Even if it isn’t their son, these young men need men to correct behavior. When I see a young black woman or any one acting other than a lady, I speak up. Standing by and hearing a young lady standing by on a phone where every other word is a cuss word, they fight over a piece of meat and keep having babies with no education, skills or a babies daddy that is willing or capable of raising a child, yet one remains silent and quietly shake their head.
Maybe it is that women are more nurturing, but whatever the reason, I refuse to stand back and watch a young women act disrespect herself. So far, none have cussed me out or disrespected me when I remind them they are ladies.
When I applaud people like Dr Boyce, Bill Cosby, Will Smith or even statistics I get labeled as a republican. When I call us out on our own behavior, I am demeaning our race. Well I am sorry but I am ashamed..I am ashamed as others are of their own race at times.
I know how it is to be discriminated against. I have worked in the male dominated industry since I was 19 years old. Not only did I have to endure racism but sexual harassment and discrimination. I could have succumbed and blamed everyone for what happened. I could have gave up and become a statistic, but I am worth more than my color or sex.
I didn’t raise my kids to believe in poor me. Everything they did they have consequences for. They were both accountable and responsible.
They knew if they decided to do bad, mom was not going to rescue them. I was there and still there as a parent. When they were mistreated in the workplace, they knew how to file a labor dispute. If they were harassed, they knew how to file a complaint with Equal Opportunity.
Not everyone gets a positive result but that doesn’t mean they should give up and feel poor me. Blame everyone and just give up because poor me.
If a child is able to steal, ditch school, drink, do drugs, drive with no license or insurance, fight, have sex at home, etc…..and finally get caught up in it, it is their fault!
It is not the fault of the government…If they do something, they must learn there are consequences.
Is the system fair? Hell no! Not for all. But it isn’t just blacks. Many are victims of racism, harassment and prejudice. Problem is though many go through genocide and oppression, only blacks still blame the slave days.
Parents need to be parents. Go to back to school nights, take the kids to the parks, take them on bike rides and check their homework. Teach them to play sports and go to games. Know where they are and who they are with.
It is time to educate the kids and hold them accountable for what they DO!! Teach them to become responsible and successful adults.
I worked at fast food jobs at 14 and made minimum wage. How many offer the neighborhood teen the job to cut their grass? Clean out a garage or fix a car? Kids are getting money to do everything without learning to earn a dime.
Teens cussing parents out or chilling at home while a parent is still washing their clothes, cooking for them and sometimes even cleaning their rooms.
They get to use your car and go out even if they got all F’s on a report card.
People prefer JayZ and other rappers that demean women, openly smoke and drink and wave money around. Our kids need REAL life MEN..not men that blame society..Not men that are angry at the world. Not men who don’t say, take care of your kids, your education and respect your mother.
They need men that teach young men to be men. Teach them how important education is. Teach them by your actions and words.
Because when they hear older black men so angry at the system they follow suit and never even try.
It is time for black men to lead. It is time for them to stop blaming and empower these young men. Tell them when they are wrong and stop justifying or finding fault with everything and everybody else.
Everyone says the black women is angry, is controlling….well the men that we expect to lead our children..to lead by example….to grow and show that you get what you want by saving and spending wisely…to show them that real men respect women because their mother was there….to let them know they don’t blame anyone if things go wrong…
They are fighters. They teach. They support. They guide.
Real men are the ones women stand by because they trust them to lead.
Young men are listening. They are watching.
Things haven’t changed and the poor do not have to be gang members or drug dealers. They don’t have to lead their life by their sexual conquests.
They need to learn how to get a degree, save money, stop wasting money on material things……They need to learn real self respect , pride, confidence, love and hard work.
They need real men to stand up and call them out on their behavior. We need real leaders if we ever want to let go of the slave mentality.