As an advice columnist, a radio and TV host specializing in sex, dating, and relationships – I get a lot of people that I don’t know reaching out to me over social media asking for guidance whether career orientated, or love related.
Back in September 2015 I received a direct message in my @TheSingleLife Twitter account from a guy calling himself ‘Bitch Boy’ with the Twitter handle @ShaneFucksMyMom. I must be Following Bitch Boy, or else he wouldn’t be able to DM me.
Before I go any further with this story I must clarify upfront to any and all future pen pals – I never check my DM’s on Twitter and I definitely do not check them on Facebook or Instagram. I have unintentionally let my direct messages pile up and they usually come in multiple parts with more than one question asked, and I get anxiety even thinking about my various Inboxes because I know I’ll never have the time to sit and return them all.
Disclaimer: If you don’t have my phone number or email, the best way to reach me is on the wall of my Facebook, or just Tweet me!
When I do write back privately to someone I don’t know, they usually respond immediately wanting to have a whole back-and-forth virtual conversation with me and it becomes even MORE messages to return – now with the expectations of a speedy reply because the writer assumes they currently have my attention.
Case in point. Meet my Bitch Boy.
“Hello Beautiful, I see You run a prestigious radio show and podcast and so was wondering if You ever interviewed my mom.”
I didn’t see Bitch Boy’s message right away so he wrote me twice more that day; “I hope I didn’t offend You gorgeous,” and when he didn’t get an immediate answer, “Did I offend You?”
Days later when I finally saw his questions, I responded, “No honey. Why would your asking me if I know your mom offend me? My apologies, but I’ve never met her.” Because, let’s be honest, what are the chances that I would know this guys mother?
Bitch Boy wrote back, “It’s ok, no need to apologize gorgeous. Just curious are You a DOMME? ” A day later he wrote again, “It would be an honor to spoil You.” A day after that, “I really hope Your not mad.” And then the day after that, “I’m sorry.”
Finally I responded, “I am not mad. There is nothing to be sorry about. I am not a ‘Domme’. Don’t apologize for asking.”
Immediately I see a typing cloud on his end – and this is when I typically move on to my next task or else I end up stuck in an exchange that I don’t have time for. He replied, “Understood. Can I spoil You?”
The next day Bitch Boy reached out again, “Or do a podcast with You?” And a day later, “Do You have a wishlist?”
I started thinking, what the fuck is going on here? Who is this guy and what is his real name? I get the ‘Bitch Boy’ part, but what’s up with the whole ‘@shanefucksmymom’ moniker? And why would Bitch Boy want to spoil ME? And who the fuck IS his mother? And quite frankly, who the fuck is ‘Shane,’ and did he really fuck Bitch Boy’s mom? I’m super confused and all these questions are starting to super annoy me.
A few days later I write back, “First of all, what is your name? You know mine, I don’t know yours.” Bitch Boy responds instantly, “Travis. So can I be Your bitch boy? Or You at least give it a try? Or email my mom if You would like,” and gave me his mom’s email, mistyvonagebookings@gmail.com.
Now we’re dancing in DM. “Travis. Does your mother know your predilections, and what does she think?” Travis types back, “What does ‘predilections’ mean?”
“It means a preference or special liking for something; a bias in favor of something. Aka the ‘Bitch Boy’ namesake, and the spoiling/wish list deal.”
Travis replied, “Yes she knows and accepts it – because I used to be very judging and closed minded of my mom and her career and her escorting and hobbies and I would try to ignore it and would cope by being heavily involved with drugs and alcohol… and so just like my profile states – under 2 years ago, I started to accept my role and accept being sub and accept what she did and accept the bullying and the way alphas treated me and it has worked out for the better for the both of us and has improved our relationship.”
I walked away from my computer to get more coffee. Travis typed, “Does that help gorgeous?”
Then I had to pee quickly. Travis typed some more, “I truly hope I didn’t upset. Was just being open and honest with You.”
When I sat back down I replied, “That’s very interesting. Thank you for clarifying.” Over the next few days Travis messaged me several times, “I want to spoil you.” Calling me “Queen” over and over, and when I didn’t respond, he’d ask things like “You okay?” and “Why do you ignore me so much?”
Wow, for someone who identifies as submissive, this Boy was pretty persistent.
I have to be honest with you guys reading. I don’t get the whole ‘Findom’ deal. Financial domination (Findom) is a very real (and very expensive) fetish where guys aka ‘Subs’ get off on giving their ‘Domme’s’ (mistresses) gifts or money. I’ve had one or two guys I’ve dated spoil me in terms of gifting me nice things in the context of our relationship, but that’s it.
Findoms literally want you to “wallet rape” them, which is an actual term meaning to be bled dry financially. I cannot even fathom taking advantage of another human being in good conscious, yet guys like this exist. They want hot chicks to take everything they have. Was Bitch Boy one of these Findoms? And if so – Why? What made him this way? What was his story? And why pick me as his Queen?
Now here’s the weirder thing, on a side note, as I was staring at his mother’s email address her name looked familiar to me. Hmmm… Misty Vonage… Misty Vonage… wait. As I’m looking her up online, she’s also (not coincidentally) my same exact age. Then I recognize – of all things – her tits, in a photo from my Google image search. Now I’m thinking I may have met her years ago when she was a feature dancer and burlesque contestant in a PPV special I hosted back in the mid 90’s called, The Miss Nude World Pageant, that we filmed in Myrtle Beach South Carolina. I’ll ask Travis.
Misty Vonage – Travis’ Mom
Intrigued, I decided to ask Travis even more questions about his life and I told him to write the answers as if he would be penning a diary entry.
Diary of a Bitch Boy
My childhood was difficult and rough at times. I actually first found out about how sexually driven my mom was when I was 8 years old and my dad and I were coming home from a camping trip and we were coming home early. We wanted to surprise her. But then we walked in and she was getting gangbanged by black men. I was too young to understand but I just remember crying and my brother crying and the devastation my dad felt.
My mom left the next morning. She moved into an apartment with some friend and partied all the time. I saw her maybe once a month. My dad was the breadwinner back then, so he knew if he went to court then he would be the one forced to pay child support because that’s how the system works and so there’s nothing he could do. These years were very troubling just because it sucked not having a mom. My dad became very depressed and wasn’t really a dad either. My grandparents took the most care of me.
Around my early teen years, that’s when the bullying started. I was living with my mom at the time because my dad dipped out. I knew off the bat there was something going on b/c she drove a new Mercedes SL Class; she had a bunch of luxury and fancy items. And we were a very low class family in a rural town so I knew something was up. Turned out she started becoming an escort and also had a lot of sugar daddies. And those sugar daddies and her “clients” came over all the time. Yes, I saw and heard a lot of things, some of them would use me as kink, etc. And that’s when the bullying started.
She would fuck my bullies, their friends, etc. She would fuck teachers, dads of kids in the same grade as me. And kids can be ruthless. I cried every night from middle school to high school. When I was a freshman that was the most brutal time of my life. People would bully me and beat me up, they would put their dirty underwear on my face and say stuff like “Those were the boxers I was wearing before I fucked your mom”. Then when we had study groups, or when I would see guys in public while I was hanging with other outcast kids, or when my mom missed several of my school events/sports events, they would take bets. They would say, “Since your mom isn’t here we know exactly what she’s doing. Is she with 1,2,3 guys or more? Is she fucking in Travis’ room? Living room? Kitchen? How old is the guy/are the guys?” Stuff like that. It was brutal.
This was when I started to feel really submissive. And started to accept my place in society. Because the guys that bullied me and were mean and cruel and ruthless were the same guys that were getting all the cool girls in school, the guys that had all the friends, that had perfect moms. They got the girls that made fun of me, that called me fat and worthless. So I started to be put in my place because I was so jealous of them.
The most traumatizing thing was when my mom first joined porn. I was 14 and about to be a sophomore in high school at the time. She joined porn during the summer. As I mentioned above – freshman year was a brutal year for me. And every time I tried to open up or talk to my mom and have a sincere deep convo, she would start talking about her exploits and talk about guys, and she knew that would make me storm off or shut up. After a while though, I just sucked it up and finally confronted her until we got into a heated argument. That’s when she told me she had a porn opportunity and she’d be leaving to Los Angeles in a couple weekends and had no idea when she would be back. That was a huge bomb dropped on me, and a struggle to deal with, so I broke down for a good 2-3 days straight. Then I started to see a therapist.
Therapy isn’t cheap so I started seeing one once a week, but my mom began paying for it because she didn’t want to deal with me so then I went to go see a therapist/psychologist on a daily basis, for several hours at a time. This went on for a while. Then when I went to college and started doing drugs, I stopped going to therapy. Then when I started to become clean again (about 2 years ago) when I went to rehab and all, that’s when I went back to doing daily doses of therapy. These days I see/talk to my therapist once a week.
Travis holding a note Shane Diesel wrote.
I really didn’t interact much with male porn stars. Except for when I lived with my mom in Vegas for a couple summers. They were very professional for the most part but then when I would try to be friends with them or talk to them they would put me in my place. They would say, “Look I get paid to fuck your mom. Leave me alone”. They would say stuff like that. That was very troubling to me because it was hard enough when my mom fucked my bullies but now she’s fucking cocky d-bags that are mean to me, but the guys are getting paid. It made it much worse. Now – Shane Diesel was very Alpha to me and made me hold up signs when he came over, saying things like, “Shane Diesel Came In My Mom”, and he’d take pictures. And he talked to me about what fucking my mom was like. Justin Long is also another one who stands out because he actually mentioned me in his scene with my mom.
Throughout high school but mainly in my upper classmen years – just with how easy word passed around, and with how vocal and popular my mom was in the small city – when she started doing XXX scenes everyone became aware and knew. Kids would print pics of my mom and show them to me at school or put them in my locker during gym class. They would text me photos of her. And this wasn’t like today’s world where with the iPhone; you can block numbers with the click of a button. I had the Motorola Razr so I probably got texts of my mom from 40 different people, and I would say about half of those sent multiple pics over and over again. It was just rough. And when they would show me these things I just became numb and closed my eyes, and if it was in person I just started crying and that made the bullying worse.
All the times guys who either bullied me or were mean to me – those guys ended up fucking my mom. As I got older that meant the kids who picked on me got older, so they started coming after my mom, and they succeeded and sometimes I saw/heard it. Other times when it happened while I was in college or something, they would send me pics, or call me from my moms phone and it would be their voice etc.
Now, I do try to interact with guys my mom has hooked up with, and the times I was in Vegas I tried to become friends with male porn stars who have been with her, but none of them wanted to be my friends. And yes I have watched a lot of my mom’s scenes because I have a subscription to a lot of sites she has worked with. But, when I watch it on my own terms it’s more of a curious thing. And I used do this a lot more when she first did porn than I do now.
Remember when I said I was very protective of my mom and a momma’s boy? Well, I would watch her scenes because I was interested and intrigued. You know, she was more dedicated to being a porn star than to being a mom. She neglected me/abandoned me for weekends/week/month to do these scenes so I was interested to see the guys who she gave attention to over me. It was a jealousy thing as well, for sure. Of course I’m jealous of the attention and love my mom has given a lot of other men over me.
Now, I didn’t watch full videos of her scenes but I did skim thru them and I enjoyed seeing her happy, I truly did. Is it weird that I used to watch my moms scenes just to help me understand it? Yes. And, is it weird that I watched her scene just because my Domme Jasmine forced me to? Of course. But let’s face it, when you, along with your dad, walk in on your mom getting gangbanged… Your life is gonna be weird. That’s just a fact.
I’m 23 years old, never kissed a girl. Never had sex etc. because everyone has his or her place in society. There are alpha males. There are beta males. There are alpha females. There are beta females. There are people in power. There are men that are in power. Like the men that bullied me or alpha men like male porn stars, my mom’s fwbs, etc. Those are alphas. And then there are beta men. And that’s me. I look like a sub. I do. I look the part, and I just am sub because that’s my calling in life. And let’s be honest – people are going to ridicule me and be hostile towards me no matter what, so I might as well be submissive and accept it.
Also, even though it’s at my expense, I enjoy making beautiful women and women in power laugh. So, even though yes it makes me feel pathetic, I’d rather feel pathetic and have people smile and laugh at my expense then to just be hostile and rude and be offended easily when people bring up my mom.
And why am I a virgin? I’m not very sexual. I’m just not. I’m the complete opposite of my mom. But who am I kidding – I have been overweight my whole life and I have a 2-inch cock when hard so yeah that’s really the reason why I’m not very sexual, ha-ha. If I was a stud or had a 10-inch cock then yes, I would be having sex left and right. But I’m not that.
The thing I enjoy most about Femdom (female dominance) is honestly the spoiling. That’s what gives me the biggest enjoyment, because it makes the humiliation and pain and embarrassment and depression all worth it. It’s just a personal thing. Of course I love making women smile no matter if it’s a pain, worship, or humiliation task I did for them. But when I spoil them, it truly makes me feel special and feel happy and it makes me smile!! There are plenty of ways to spoil women, Amazon, Gift Rocket, Western Union, Moneygram, etc. Women deserve to be spoiled. And also for a pathetic bitch boy like myself it’s important to spoil beautiful empowering women.
For example – when my Domme Jasmine made me make a video of me watching my mom’s porno I felt weak, I felt sad, you can tell in the video I was freaking out and crying. But then when I spoiled Her afterwards I felt happy and uplifted and worthy and felt like I was a part of Her life. I mean it’s the same way with my mom. Despite how my mom treated me, I give her more money and gifts than I give myself because she deserves it.
My role as a sub has improved my relationship with my mom because I stopped hating her and judging her and being jealous of her. I will be honest – I despised my mom. Hence why I went to drugs, cried all the time, was depressed 24/7. I just hated her so much. It sucked because as you know I’m a momma’s boy, I love her and care about her, and she is my ‘everything’. So it hurt me to have ill feelings towards her or hate the way she was.
Misty Vonage in ‘Soccer Moms Score’
I mean – here are some examples of titles of scenes she did: Watching My Mom Go Black, Mommy Got Boobs, MILF Hunter, Mommy Blows Best, Cougar Mom, Moms Bang Teens, My Friends Hot Mom, Soccer Moms Score, Mommies and Cubs, Mommy Likes Her Some Black Dick, White Moms Need BBC, Knock Up My Mommy, Dirty Moms, Moms Unleashed, Mommy’s Goin’ Black and She Ain’t Coming Back, and there are some more.
Imagine being a guy and your mom starred in scenes that used her being a mom as a ‘kink’. Meaning – she spent more time being a mom for kink purposes and for porn than she did actually being a mom to me. So yeah that fucked with my head and made me have ill will towards her.
So with all that said, when she started to explain things to me, and why she did what she did, and as I started to sort of be put in my place and accept being a sub, and be a beta male personality, it made me more open minded and non-judgmental towards her. Because, it has made me appreciate my mom and be proud of her and it has also helped me understand her and her actions. I mean, she had to choose between having a fun life, or hang around me 24/7. She chose to have a fun life.
Now, at first, I didn’t accept that. I hated it, as I said. But once being put in my place and being sub and not being selfish minded when it comes to being a momma’s boy, that’s when I accepted what she did and does. So that has greatly improved our relationship and made it to where her being happy and enjoying life, makes me happy, even if I’m not a part or priority to her.
So, basically, to summarize – there’s two ways I can handle it – pretend to be an alpha, cocky, independent male and be pissed off and mad and hate my mom for me being psychology, mentally, and emotionally fucked up, and just hate the way she is. OR be submissive, accept what I am, accept that I am not and have never been her top priority or care, accept and understand what she does, be proud of her, and be sweet and loving and do things to make her happy. So, I chose the way that makes us have a great relationship and is a win-win for both of us.
I was working in IT developing software and creating stuff like flyers/info-graphics/power points for marketing but I got out of that industry and now I’m doing internship for hospitality. I am actually currently doing my internship right now. I work for several volunteer groups centered on children. I love helping out kids. Whether it’s Special Olympics or foster homes or sponsoring a kid that has been neglected/abused, or children’s hospitals or boys/girls club of America. I love volunteering for children. And I don’t do it because I want to brag about it or because I’m on a high horse. I do it because, I won’t beat around the bush, I had a very fucked up childhood.
I was neglected. I really never truly had a relationship with my mom like every son wants. She always put other things in front of caring for me or giving me attention. And so I want to help kids out. I want to help kids that are going thru a similar trauma or just dealing with a struggle like cancer or are in Special Olympics. I want to help them. Making those kids smile means everything to me. I’m pretty much about helping others and making others smile/laugh 24/7/365. Whether it’s Dommes, whether it’s young kids, whether its guys/girls my age that have moms that are in the industry, whether it’s a woman in power, etc. I’m all about others. Now, is the way I make people smile/laugh different dependent on which one I am interacting with? Well…OBVIOUSLY!
Twitter is a great place to find Dommes and Superior women in general to spoil and worship and make happy. As for my personal life – Since my mom entered the porn industry, I have been a part of a few social groups that are dedicated to having children of porn interact with each other and make each other cope with what their mom does. It has been really helpful. It’s good to talk to other kids that are in the same boat as me. It’s tough and hard at times but talking it out with other people in similar situation as me helps a lot.
Honestly, I have no idea where I see myself in 10 years. I’m a ‘live in the moment’ kind of person, and that’s how I have always been. I hope to continue to have a great relationship with my mom, hope to make a good living, and maybe my mom will want to spend 24/7/365 with me at some point in the next 10 years. Maybe. A guy can dream right?
FINAL STATEMENT:
This is just to explain that in no way do I hate the industry or have disrespect for my mom or any other women, or moms, because they joined the industry. Not at all, in fact, I spoil/worship Porn Stars/Dommes because I respect and admire them so much. Since becoming a sub I have the utmost respect for ladies in the industry. Also, it sorta makes me happy to be a part of my moms industry. Yes, it’s a small part, but at least I’m attached to it in some way, no matter how small.
And let me clear on this – IT IS MY FAULT! NOT MY MOMS OR THE INDUSTRY. It is my fault for being a momma’s boy. Since interacting with several other children of porn, I can tell you that there is no middle ground. Either the kid is an alpha male/normal kid and lives a normal social lifestyle and thinks what his mom does is cool, and he doesn’t need to be sub for them to get along. OR they are like me, lol. There is no middle ground. I will also share something, through various groups and venues, I have met/befriended/etc. some kids whose dads were professional athletes, or did something that made them travel everywhere and not be at home.
And this will sort of explain why I have no ill will towards the adult industry. One of the 5 or so kids I met that had a dad like this, his dad was a professional baseball player. He was gone, always away from home. You know the season is from March-October, so for 3/4 or so of the year, he isn’t a daddy. And during the summer, when most dads are with there kids all the time and giving them attention, his dad was always on the road. And this kid felt neglected too, and actually spent a lot of time in therapy.
I will end with a quote my mom said to me a lot whenever I strongly disagreed with her or argued with her or lectured her – “You can say what you want or be as mad as you want to be, just know that right now there is some guy jerking off to a video or pic of me because of how sexy I am, and how amazing I am at fucking, and I am getting paid.”
What comeback is there to say to that? There isn’t one lol, so yeah, can’t hate on a porn star. She always got the last say/laugh whenever she used that quote.
It was and still is very difficult being a child of porn and having to carry that stigma around for my whole life. I mean I was given a tough draw in life, no debating that. And so my way of coping with that tough deal is being submissive.
~ Travis
I’m not going to lie, I had to sit with this for a while to process it. Like for a good few months. I will tell you upfront that I didn’t use half of Travis’ stories. They were so overwhelming and written in such detail that there’s only so much a human can absorb in one reading, but I believe his points were painfully made in what I kept. He has been through a lot and used this Diary exercise as a purging, which is good.
I also believe there are three sides to every story. To be fair, there are the two sides, and then there’s the truth, which is usually a balance of both perspectives/experiences. I too had a fucked up childhood, my abusive mother threw me out as a teenager onto the streets of Brooklyn and I’ve never looked back. So I sympathize with Travis and his feelings of abandonment. At the same time, I know women in the adult industry like Misty, and they are not bad people. You need to walk (at least) a mile in someone’s shoes to judge them, and until you do – you can’t criticize. Unless you’ve overcome their particular obstacles you can only try to understand why they’ve made their life choices.
I decided to take Travis up on his initial offer, and I emailed his mom Misty Vonage.
A. I wanted to verify that I could use her name and email in this article, but B. I also wanted to give her an opportunity to respond to what her son wrote about her, and his unconventional upbringing.
From Misty Vonage:
First, yes I was at that competition! That is amazing and so heartwarming that you remember me from that, I guess my boobs were worth the money!
Here is my reaction to the article, and you can use whatever you want from my reply in the article.
It is really well done and my baby boy has opened up to me a lot about things, but seeing it writing is amazing in its own way! Thank you for not judging me even after all he has said and talked about me. Yes, there are multiple sides to every story. As you have witnessed yourself, he is very needy and clingy. It’s not that he’s a bad person, quite the opposite, he just needs attention and acceptance, and a lot of that is my fault.
There are a lot of things I regret and still regret, however I had 2 choices – be there for him 24/7/365 or do my own thing, and have my own fun whether he was in the house or not. I’m not the average typical mom (you already know this hehe) so I can’t just sit at home and talk with my son and watch movies. That’s just not me. But that’s what he wants. And what he still wants. It does make me feel bad but at the same time he has to grow up on his own. I have to live my life, you know?
I do understand why he’s the way he is. I completely get it. I have many friends in the industry with kids that are like him. Nobody wants to see or accept or realize their mother being treated the way I enjoy being treated in the bedroom, and on movies. He is very sweet to me and non-judgmental but I don’t think he will ever accept what I do and how I am. Which is the reason he is why he is. I am fine with that. I’m just happy he’s off drugs.
He recommended to me that I tell you advice for your readers. I will give advice to both sides.
For porn moms – live your life. There are times where you question your motives, where you let your kids, family, other people get into your head and affect your actions. DONT. It is YOUR life. Live it. Yes I regret a lot of things but I have always had and continue to have an amazing and fun and most importantly sex filled life!!
For porn kids – be more accepting and realize that no mom is perfect. And remember the saying, “If momma ain’t happy, nobody happy”. Also know that it is a CHOICE! Meaning it is something your mom wants to do and is making her own choice in doing it. So let her make the choices she wants to make for HER life. Finally, and this is something I have told Travis and try to pass on to everyone. You know how no child wants a helicopter parent… Well, no parent wants a helicopter child!
With love,
Misty
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