There are many websites on the Internet that click-bait you into pointing your mouse over some crap like, “The 10 Things You Didn’t Know About World War 2 That Your Teachers Didn’t Tell You.” What happens? You click it and think, “Yeah, they did.”
This is what a lot of the Internet has reduced itself to: Bating users to click on stuff they think is interesting, but is really just garbage to get advertising revenue. If you look at the Social Underground, we don’t have that. We strive to write content that will make you tell your friends content without baiting them to click on it with a Facebook share with: “OMG, Jennie is so number 7!”
If you have read previous posts of mine, I tend to be a history buff. My favorite classes in college were history classes where I had to write essays on my final exams. Writing essays meant that you have to know what you’re talking about instead of choosing between A, B, C or D. Many hate it, but it shows that the teacher really cares about history. You can watch the passion on their face when they describe a visit to Monticello (Thomas Jefferson’s home that he designed). It’s when a teacher is passionate about a subject, they can transfer that wonder and interest on to their students. This is why I’m diving deep into my notes to give you the most enjoyable experience the “Wow, I didn’t know that!” feeling I got when I had a teacher that cared.
The 6 Probable Phases of a Revolution
Sure, you can look at the American Revolution as one of the best example of giving the finger to the Motherland, but there is a lot more to it. There are generally 6 phases that happen throughout the implementation and progression of a revolution. It’s not all one meeting of people wearing funny wigs and chanting, “F the UK, you guys.”
Phase One — The Unrest Phase (This period lasts for about 10 years) – This period is named aptly and sees the formation of the major players at the start of a revolution. Propaganda from radicals and confrontations start to arise.
Phase Two — The Deflections of Radical Intellectuals – This phase overlaps with The Unrest Phase. The intellectuals lead the sheep that follow them. They all decide that a break with the home country is necessary. These are the ones that create the propaganda campaigns and organize events that cause confrontations.
Phase Three — Symbolic Outbreak – The intellectuals organize the destruction of a symbol of the old Gov’t (Think of the tea party).
Phase Four — Liberal Interlude (Lasts for about 6-8 months) – There are attempts from liberals (don’t think of that term as it’s used today) to negotiate with the radicals. The old Gov’t wants no negotiation, and neither do the radicals. But if they happen to be successful in negotiations, you can use Canada as an example of a successful negotiation.
Phase Five — The Reign of Terror (Lasted 6-7 years in America) – This is the bloodbath of a revolution. It has 2 conflicts: One is the internal conflict of civil war between colony citizens who want out and those who want to stay in. The second is the external conflict that fights the old Gov’t. If the radicals that want separation can silence the opposition, this could lead to success against the old Gov’t.
Phase 6 — Legal Recognition of Change – A peace treaty is reached with the Mother country and signed by both.
That was pretty much the shortest summary of the American Revolution I could explain. As with the war of 1812, you could see that the British still weren’t quite pleased, and they invaded again through Canada and ended up burning down the White House. Before they did that, dinner was being served at the White House… so they ate it, and then burned ransacked and set the White House on fire. Quite the smartass thing to do.
What are the 27 Amendments?
Chances are that if you walk up to an average American on the street and ask them to name the first 5 Amendments to the Constitution, they will probably be able to name the first 3, and probably mix them up. It’s understandable, but that is why I want to give you a simple guide so you can know each one individually so you can impress your friends and not look like an idiot by not knowing them. It’s okay, it doesn’t seem like much of the leaders in our Gov’t know them either.
Amendment One — Freedom of Religion, Press, Speech, Assembly, Petition (Prohibits the making of any law respecting an establishment of religion, impeding the free exercise of religion, abridging the freedom of speech, infringing on the freedom of the press, interfering with the right to peaceably assemble or prohibiting the petitioning for a governmental redress of grievances)
ED NOTE: People tend to not quite understand Freedom of Speech. It basically means I can talk as much trash on the Gov’t as I want and they can’t do anything unless it’s a threat. In the news, you hear about someone talking trash about their boss and getting fired for it. Sure, you’re free to say that, but that doesn’t stop your boss from firing you. Know the difference.
Amendment Two — Right to Bear Arms
Amendment Three — Right to not have to quarter Soldiers and seizures (Basically, soldiers can’t roll up in your house and stay there unless you allow them to)
Amendment Four — Prohibits unreasonable searches and seizures and sets out requirements for search warrants based on probable cause as determined by a neutral judge or magistrate. (Well, as we’ve seen over the past few years, this one has been crapped on)
Amendment Five — Right to grand jury indictment, no double jeopardy, freedom from self-incrimination, due process of law
Amendment Six — Right to be informed of charges be present when witnesses speak in court, to call defense witnesses, to have a lawyer
Amendment Seven — Right to a jury trial in civil cases
Amendment Eight — Prohibits excessive fines and excessive bail, as well as cruel and unusual punishment. Again, this is another that is being shit on:
Amendment Nine — Guarantee of rights not listed in Constitution
Amendment Ten — Rights of states and people
Amendment Eleven — Makes states immune from suits from out-of-state citizens and foreigners not living within the state borders; lays the foundation for sovereign immunity
Amendment Twelve — Election of the President (Election Procedures)
Amendment Thirteen — Abolishes slavery, and involuntary servitude, except as punishment for a crime
Amendment Fourteen — Right to be free from discrimination in states to have due process of law, to have equal protection of the law
Amendment Fifteen — Prohibits the denial of the right to vote based on race, color, or previous condition of servitude
Amendment Sixteen — Permits Congress to levy an income tax without apportioning it among the states or basing it on the United States Census
Amendment Seventeen — Establishes the direct election of United States Senators by popular vote
Amendment Eighteen — Prohibition of alcoholic beverages (Repealed December 5, 1933)
Amendment Nineteen — Women’s Suffrage AKA Prohibits the denial of the right to vote based on sex
Amendment Twenty — Lame-Duck Period shortened for federal Officials: Changes the date on which the terms of the President and Vice President (January 20) and Senators and Representatives (January 3) end and begin
Amendment Twenty One — Repeals the 18th Amendment and prohibits the transportation or importation into the United States of alcohol for delivery or use in violation of applicable laws
Amendment Twenty Two — Limits the number of times that a person can be elected president: a person cannot be elected president more than twice, and a person who has served more than two years of a term to which someone else was elected cannot be elected more than once
Amendment Twenty Three — Voters in Washington D.C. given the right to vote for presidential electors
Amendment Twenty Four — Prohibits the revocation of voting rights due to the non-payment of a poll tax
Amendment Twenty Five — Addresses succession to the Presidency and establishes procedures both for filling a vacancy in the office of the Vice President, as well as responding to Presidential disabilities
Amendment Twenty Six — 18 year olds given the right to vote
Amendment Twenty Seven — Delays laws affecting Congressional salary from taking effect until after the next election of representatives
Don’t you feel more patriotic reading all of that? Pass it on, because if you’re an American, you should know each and every one of those amendments. If you’re not American, well, now you know why we have more guns than everyone else and would quash a zombie apocalypse in 20 minutes.
All of that Mythology About George Washington Was Because of Mason Weems
In 1806, Mason Weems wrote a book titled Life of Washington. It was such a big seller that besides the Bible, most had this book as well. The problem with the book is that it’s full of made up mythical crap that you learned about in 1st grade. The books biggest mythical creations are the ones that you can think of right off the top of your head. Ready?
“George,” said his father, “do you know who killed that beautiful little cherry tree yonder in the garden? ” This was a tough question; and George staggered under it for a moment; but quickly recovered himself: and looking at his father, with the sweet face of youth brightened with the inexpressible charm of all-conquering truth, he bravely cried out, “I can’t tell a lie, Pa; you know I can’t tell a lie. I did cut it with my hatchet.” “Run to my arms, you dearest boy,” cried his father in transports, “run to my arms; glad am I, George, that you killed my tree; for you have paid me for it a thousand fold. Such an act of heroism in my son is more worth than a thousand trees, though blossomed with silver, and their fruits of purest gold.” (Via)
Yeah, that never happened. He never cut down a cherry tree with a hatchet, and then followed it up with that he can never tell a lie. Oh, you know the whole “George Washington could never tell a lie” story? Right there. Have you ever heard about how Washington was praying for his soldiers at Valley Forge?
“In the winter of ’77, while Washington, with the American army, lay encamped at Valley Forge, a certain good old friend, of the respectable family and name of Potts, if I mistake not, had occasion to pass through the woods near headquarters. Treading in his way along the venerable grove, suddenly he heard the sound of a human voice, which, as he advanced, increased on his ear; and at length became like the voice of one speaking much in earnest. As he approached the spot with a cautious step, whom should he behold, in a dark natural bower of ancient oaks, but the commander in chief of the American armies on his knees at prayer I Motionless with surprise, friend Potts continued on the place till the general, having ended his devotions, arose; and, with a countenance of angelic serenity, retired to headquarters Friend Potts then went home, and on entering his parlour called out to his wife, ” Sarah! my dear Sarah ! all’s well ! all’s well! George Washington will yet prevail!” (Via)
Nah. Sorry to hurt your feelings, but that probably didn’t happen at all. The guy who really got Washington right — mostly — was a guy by the name of Jared Sparks. He wrote the books Life and Writings of George Washington and Life of George Washington, which explained that Washington was the least educated of the Founding Fathers. He had the equivalent of an 8th grade education. He was the oldest son, and when his Father died, he couldn’t go to Williamsburg. Sparks was criticized for re-writing some of Washington’s writing because, well, there were a lot of run-on sentences and spelling errors.
Washington recognized that he wasn’t the smartest man in the room when he was President, and that’s why he chose arguably one of the most intelligent cabinets in American history to surround him. And as for a General, he was great, but not for his willingness to do battle, but to recognize a losing battle that was in front of him. That’s why he retreated a lot and saved many lives.
Oh, and those wooden teeth? WRONG. He long suffered from having bad teeth, but his dentures were made from elephant and hippopotamus ivory, gold, lead, human and animal teeth. Not sure if that is any less creepy, but at least he had less splinters.
The United States of America Was Not Founded As A Christian Nation
No matter how many times you see the flapping jowls of pundits on television or in the Government babble about America being founded on Christian values or as a Christian nation, they don’t know what they’re talking about. Do you know how many times the United States Constitution mentions God? Once… sorta:
“done in Convention … the Seventeenth Day of September in the year of our Lord one thousand seven hundred and eighty seven and of the Independence of the United States of America.”
The use of “in the year of our Lord” was just how people of the time would say the date. That’s it. No other mention of it in the entire document. John Adams, in the Treaty of Tripoli states:
Art. 11. As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion; as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquility, of Mussulmen [Muslims]; and as the said States never entered into any war or act of hostility against any Mahometan [Muslim] nation, it is declared by the parties that no pretext arising from religious opinions shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.
So, where did all of this “Christian American” thing come from? Well, there was a certain Cold War that happened between America and the Soviet Union. Communists weren’t the biggest fans, so we added “In God We Trust” to our money, and “Under God” into the Pledge of Allegiance.
Much of this was due to the insane crusade by Senator Joseph McCarthy in the 50’s. His relentless war on Communists in America led to a dramatic shift that can still be felt today.
During the late 1940s and early 1950s, the prospect of communist subversion at home and abroad seemed frighteningly real to many people in the United States. These fears came to define–and, in some cases, corrode–the era’s political culture. For many Americans, the most enduring symbol of this “Red Scare” was Republican Senator Joseph P. McCarthy of Wisconsin. Senator McCarthy spent almost five years trying in vain to expose communists and other left-wing “loyalty risks” in the U.S. government. In the hyper-suspicious atmosphere of the Cold War, insinuations of disloyalty were enough to convince many Americans that their government was packed with traitors and spies. McCarthy’s accusations were so intimidating that few people dared to speak out against him. It was not until he attacked the Army in 1954 that his actions earned him the censure of the U.S. Senate. (Via History.com)
The problem with having “God” on money and recited over and over again in public schools in America is the separation of Church and State. If you really think about it, the line has become so blurred to the point that secularism doesn’t really exist anymore, and when it’s brought up, you hear about “The War On Christianity” which is actually the opposite of that since the majority is the one stepping on the minority that is just trying to abide by the law.
Think about it: Imagine choosing to swear on the Constitution in a court of law instead of on a Bible. The jury would be immediately taken aback by it. Imagine a President or politician doing the same thing? How could he/she not swear on the Bible?! Do you know what the best part of the Constitution is? Look up in the article at the First Amendment. That is why I’d rather someone swear on that. The Constitution is the law of the land, and swearing upon that is what I’d rather see than swearing on a Bible. The goto criticism from one politician to another is that they are “shredding the Constitution” with how they are governing. Why not make them swear on the Constitution, too?
The Star-Spangled Banner Music Is Based On English Pub Music And Has 3 More Stanza’s That Get Really Racist
In September of 1814, when Washington D.C. was on fire, Francis Scott Key witnessed the bombardment of a fort where the flag managed to stay waving in the air despite all the firepower being shot at the fort. The morning of September 14th, Key saw that the flag was replaced with an even bigger flag. Inspired by the American victory, Key wrote the Star-Spangled Banner:
O say can you see by the dawn’s early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming,
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,
O’er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there;
O say does that star-spangled banner yet wave,
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?
But wait, there’s more!
On the shore dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe’s haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o’er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning’s first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:
‘Tis the star-spangled banner, O! long may it wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave.
And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle’s confusion,
A home and a country, should leave us no more?
Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps’ pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave,
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave.
O thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved homes and the war’s desolation.
Blest with vict’ry and peace, may the Heav’n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation!
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: “In God is our trust.”
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
Yeah, about those 3 other stanzas, part of them were extremely racist: “No refuge could save the hireling and slave, From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave.” Actually, the entire third stanza is about ex-slaves that joined the British forces and cowered in the face of American might. Also, “O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?” A question mark at the end? Imagine a famous singer adding a questioning inflection at the end of the song whilst shrugging their shoulders. Speaking of the song, let’s talk about the music.
Key gave the poem to his brother-in-law Judge Joseph H. Nicholson, and he thought that the poem fit perfectly with a song he knew. It’s called, “The Anacreontic Song“, by English composer John Stafford Smith. The odd name “Anacreontic” comes from the Anacreontic Society, and was a popular gentlemen’s club of amateur musicians in London founded in the mid-18th century. Are you picking up what I’m putting down? We based the National Anthem with racist lyrics on an English drinking song. This is pretty much why we only sing the first stanza of the song, because despite the rest of it, the first stanza is incredibly powerful enough to make all the Veterans I know immediately stand up and remove their hats out of respect for their fallen brethren, as every American should.
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Jeff Sorensen is an author, writer and occasional comedian living in Detroit, Michigan. You can look for more of his work on The Huffington Post, UPROXX, BGR and by just looking up his name.
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