2016-09-14

Previously: Salami Sex



The Power of Euphemism: How Torture Became a Matter of Debate in American Politics

Dani: For this episode’s “Previously on BrainDead” song, Jonathan Coulton pretends he wasn’t just as worried as the rest of us when the space bugs got to Laurel.

Once again, we begin where the last episode ended — with Laurel and Gareth at the bar, trying to make things normal again, and Laurel saying she thinks bugs are eating people’s brains and making them stupid. Because that’s a totally normal thing to say.

Gareth is thrown by this, and Laurel admits she is, too. He asks about the bugs but struggles to take any of it seriously. Laurel doesn’t blame him and agrees that it sounds crazy. She doesn’t know why she’s telling him this, because she knows it isn’t smart. Then she notices a couple watching her from across the bar. She tells Gareth, but she sounds as paranoid as Gustav now.

Gareth asks if they’re “bug people,” and when Laurel gets annoyed he says he’s just trying to connect the dots. I expect a lot of guys would have cut and run by this point, so he must really like Laurel.

Laurel points out that the creeper guy is wearing earbuds, and she bets Gareth that he’s listening to “You Might Think” by The Cars. Gareth gives some major eye-roll at her mentioning The Cars again, which irritates Laurel enough to march across the bar and confront Earbud Guy.



Marines: Someone should tell Laurel that the right way to talk to someone wearing earphones is to leave them the hell alone.

Dani: Hearing the familiar refrain, Laurel thinks she’s proven her point but Gareth says it was a good guess. She tries telling him the song is everywhere, and when he asks what that means she says they like the baseline. “The bugs do?” he asks, and his tone is a cringe-worthy mixture of sarcasm and disbelief.

Laurel: Yes, I love being patronized. Keep it up.

Before he can respond, Gareth gets a call from Senator Wheatus. He tells him he’s out having drinks, and Red correctly guesses that he’s with Laurel. This makes me so nervous, guys. I sure hope Laurel can convince Gareth that 1) the bugs are real, and b) he needs to invest in some quality earplugs. (M: Bonus cat: to take off his shirt again! Sorry, had to get my shallow in for the episode. I’ll behave.)

Red wants Gareth to light a fire under the Feds for their lack of progress with the investigation into C.H.I.s (catastrophic head injuries). Gareth says he’ll make some calls, but that’s not good enough for Red. He hangs up (after telling Gareth to say hi to ‘Lana’) and tells Mike the Overeager Intern to get the FBI director on the phone. Once the intern leaves, Red tilts his head sideways and a GIANT FREAKING BUG crawls out of his ear. Dear God, I wish I had covered my eyes.



Up until now, all the space bugs have been the size of really big ants. This must be a queen or something.

Red offers Queen Bug some of his carrot, but she kinda hisses at it like it’s evil. (Legit reaction to crudité.) So Red hollers at Mike the Intern to bring him some cherry blossoms, then he gets on the phone with the FBI director. When Mike returns with the flowers, he sees the bug and tries to kill it (go, Mike!) but Red stops him. Red makes Mike turn around while the bug lays eggs in the flowers, and while this weirdness is happening Red’s talking to the FBI director, pressuring him to question the Hill staffer who knew all the victims (“Lana Healy, or something”) and threatening his department with a fate similar to the still un-funded CDC’s if they fail.

Once the bug is done laying eggs, Red puts the FBI director on hold so he can grab Mike’s head and assess its size and shape, which isn’t weird at all. He tells Mike to take the flowers home and then meet him at the Senate gym the following morning, and Mike just seems excited to be receiving so much attention from the senator.

Mari: Perhaps it’s supposed to be funny like ha ha ha this is so weird, but it kind of annoyed me how weird this was and how accepting Mike was of it all. Like, Red, you are not the Senator of touching my head.

Dani: Back on the phone, Red tells the FBI director to meet him at the Senate gym tomorrow morning, too, with a full report. I predict this won’t end well.

Cut to FBI Director Marchant arguing with Agents Blades and Onofrio, who have swapped stances on what’s causing the C.H.I.s. Blades says the terror group they investigated claims responsibility for whatever appears on the news, but Anthony thinks the C.H.I.s are the work of the Islamic Riyihd Front. I’m probably not spelling that correctly, but after watching this episode I’m too scared to Google anything about terrorist organizations (even fictional ones), so we’ll just call them the IRF from now on.

Mari: My entire thought process was, “I’ll Google that! Wait, she’s not gonna Google that. I won’t either. I’ll keep watching.”

Dani: Gustav has made me extra paranoid, but I still say that’s a good call.

Anthony thinks they should bring Laurel in for some “tough” questioning, but Blades calls him insane, on account of her brother being a senator. Director Marchant backs down when he hears this.

Senate gym. The next morning, Marchant and Red are running on treadmills while Mike the Intern struggles with, I dunno… leg presses? Exercise equipment isn’t really my thing. (Also, I’m sad that it’s the next morning already, and we never got to see what happened during the rest of Laurel & Gareth’s date.)

Red tells Marchant that the IRF is targeting him (since one of the C.H.I. victims was his former Chief of Staff) and have promised further attacks. Director Marchant tells him the IRF threatens crazy stuff all the time, but Red thinks the FBI should take this more seriously. He introduces Director Marchant to Mike the Intern, whom he then pushes to do more leg presses. Mike’s not looking too hot, but Red increases his weights and tells the kid to buck up. Director Marchant wants to know where Red is getting his intel from, and Red tells him his Chief of Staff is dating Lana (grrr) Healy, and she’s supposedly “hooked in.” Red forces Mike the Intern to do some more reps, and pretty soon the kid is straining so hard he’s shaking, and then BAM! His head explodes, splattering both Red and Director Marchant IN THE FACE.

See, this is why I don’t go to the gym. (M: Amen.)

Director Marchant has no choice but to take the IRF’s threats seriously now. Damn, Red. Did you have to kill an intern to make your point? I’m even more nervous for Gareth’s safety now.

Senator Healy’s offices. Laurel welcomes a kindly constituent into her office, but their chat turns creepy when the dude asks about alternate ways out of the building. He pulls out wrist restraints and tells her she has to come with him for questioning – but he won’t tell her where. Laurel shouts for Luke, but Fake Constituent pulls out a taser and zaps her. Not cool, dude. You owe Laurel a cake.



Mari: This creepy MF actually looks like he’d bake you a sorry I tased you cake.

Dani: Right?

Outside, somewhere near the Washington Monument. Gustav walks around with the phone he modified to detect bug frequencies. The device goes crazy when a guy in a suit runs by and hails a taxi, so Gustav gets in another cab and follows him. The guy ends up at the Senate offices, where Gustav’s bug detector goes off way more frequently than it did outside, as he’s evidently entered an infestation cluster.

Gustav calls Laurel, and when he gets her voicemail he goes to her office. There he sees Rochelle, who was supposed to meet Laurel for lunch an hour ago. Scarlett bursts in, and Gustav’s bug detector goes haywire. He rushes Rochelle out of the office and tells her Scarlett’s infected, and I’m pretty sure Scarlett hears everything they say, even though their backs are turned, and they’re whispering, and she’s like 30 feet away.

Secret FBI facility. A psychiatrist is interviewing Laurel, asking what her tolerance for pain is on a scale of 1 to 10. Well, that can’t be good. Laurel smartly answers “1,” and then she and I both panic a little when they ask her to rate her fear of drowning. Fuck. (M: I’m so stressed.)

Next she’s examined by a doctor who asks about her heart, so he can modify the “treatment specified for her questioning.” Laurel asks if he’s talking about torture, and he laughs and laughs and says of course not while Fake Constituent smiles benignly from the couch.

This is making me so uncomfortable. We’ve all seen movies where the protagonist is questioned in a dark, grimy room by some creepy dude with a Hannibal Lector Starter Kit. But this is somehow worse, you know? Maybe because it feels like it could actually happen. I’m not worried about finding myself in a James Bond movie, but how many questionable Google searches does it take before Homeland Security calls in medical professionals so you don’t accidentally die while being interrogated?

Mari: There is another Black Lives Matter joke in this episode later on and that fear of having law enforcement exercise their power in a way that hurts, harms or kills you is a real, multi-layered fear. This scene is doing an amazing job of portraying that fear, all the more because it’s bright, the music is jaunty and it all looks benign. But seriously: I’M SO STRESSED.

Dani: Outside the interrogation room, the doctors brief the FBI director and agents. The psychiatrist says that Laurel is mentally stable and should suffer no major after-effects, although he’ll want to examine her after each regimen. The doc tells them she’s physically healthy, but he recommends limiting sessions to five-minutes with ten-minute breaks between. The director asks about the possibility of organ failure (Jesus), and the doc says it’s low, but they should avoid the abdominal area, as Laurel had her appendix removed eight years ago, and it left some scarring. But open-handed slaps are totes okay (reaching for the remote now), and closed-fist contact in the chest area is just peachy (I can’t watch this anymore).

Agent Blades casts a suspicious glance at Anthony and then shakes his head as he watches Laurel on the monitor. I hated Agent Blades when we first met him, but now he seems like the only one who knows this is absolute bullshit.

Anthony warns everyone that Laurel will accuse him of assaulting her when she sees him. He says she’s lying, but Agent Blades is watching him even more suspiciously now. The agents bring Laurel into a different room, where there’s sterile equipment and exam tables and other things you might find in a hospital. Laurel says this is illegal, but Fake Constituent (who will be her interrogator) tells her it’s perfectly legal in a “ticking clock” scenario, and with approval from the two Intelligence Chairs.

Laurel realizes the two Senate Intelligence Committee chairs would have changed when the Senate switched majority positions. She knows they haven’t checked with the new ones, and she buys herself some time when the FBI lawyer who’s watching this on a monitor outside agrees. Whew!

Mari: Yes, whew, but also OH MY GOSH that makes this all much more stressful. Talk about a ticking clock.

Dani: Senator Wheatus’s offices. Rochelle and Gustav ask to meet with Gareth, and they tell the receptionist it’s regarding Laurel. She relates this to Gareth via the phone, but before she’s even done speaking he throws the door open and bursts into the office. It’s pretty adorable. I don’t know how the rest of their do-over date went, but he obviously still cares. He asks what’s wrong, and Gustav responds as only Gustav can.

Rochelle tells Gareth that Laurel missed their lunch date, and Gustav tells him he had a GPS trigger on her cell (of course he did) that was disconnected this morning outside her office. The GPS trigger also sent a warning that someone was trying to unlock its encryption.

Before Gareth can respond, Red comes in and Gustav’s bug detector goes off. Red pulls Gareth into his office (after assuring Gustav and Rochelle that he thinks black lives matter), where the FBI director and Agent Blades await. But Gareth doesn’t have the clearance for whatever they’re about to discuss. Red apologizes, and then Luke comes in for this “emergency session” with the Intelligence Committee chairs. (I’m glad that the chairs are Red and Luke, as it gives us yet another excuse to use the contrivance brings people together tag.) (M: It’s a classic.)

Gareth goes back to his office, and Director Marchant requests “Appendix Q” interrogation protocol for suspected bioterrorist activity. Luke says he thought the CDC was investigating the exploding heads as stroke-related, but Director Marchant says they have chatter suggesting it’s the IRF. Agent Blades says that the chatter isn’t definitive, and he slides Luke a look that wants to say so much more. Marchant insists the threat is serious, though.

Luke asks who they have in custody, and Marchant says it’s a “local DC resident who has connections to the victims and sympathies with the IRF” because he’s a lying liar who lies. Agent Blades side-eyes Luke some more, and Luke decides he wants to know more about these “sympathies.” Red’s having a cow over Luke stalling, but Marchant says the person concealed a known IRF member’s identity from their agents, and he mentions an ambulance driver. Luke still wants more information, but Red acts like his office will be attacked at any moment, on account of him being so vocal about defeating terrorism. (Five bucks says his plan involves banning Muslims from our country…)

Director Marchant says he can’t give Luke specific data on the “person of interest” but he’ll brief Luke throughout the day. He stresses the ticking clock aspect, and Luke eventually signs. I hate that he signed it, but I get that they want us to see that this isn’t as black and white as it might seem at first. I’m not sure what I’d do, if I were in Luke’s place. I’d probably insist on being present at the interrogation, because if you’re going to sign your approval on something like that you should have to witness what your approval has wrought. I’m sure the FBI wouldn’t allow that, though, so I’d refuse to sign unless they made an exception for me. There, I guess I knew what I’d do, after all.

tl;dr – I’m never going into politics.

Mari: Or going to the gym.

Dani: Right. Pretty much avoiding any place I might run into Paul Ryan.

Federal Bureau of Interrogation. Alone with Anthony, Laurel asks him how many people he’s infected. He glances at the camera and then quietly smarms about how he didn’t need to infect anyone, because Americans are so stupid we can destroy ourselves just by doing our jobs and blindly following orders.

Man, I can’t believe I wasted a good swoon on this guy.

Mari: I was going to say something about him not being him, but I forgot we got confirmation he was kind of a jerk all along.

Dani: Laurel threatens to tell everyone the truth, but Anthony just laughs and double-dog dares her. So Laurel shouts that Anthony is infected and half his brain has been eaten. Outside, the doctors watching on the monitor calmly note there might be a mental issue here. That’s good, right? Surely we don’t torture mentally ill people? RIGHT???

Cut to Luke in his office, looking pensive. Gareth comes in to ask if he knows where Laurel is, since she hasn’t been seen in four hours and someone tried to break the encryption on her phone. By the “oh shit” look on Luke’s face, I think he’s finally connected the dots.

Meanwhile, over at We-Don’t-Torture-Okay-Maybe-Just-a-Little Headquarters, Anthony asks the FBI director if the interrogator can get the party started. Agent Blades pulls him aside to ask why he’s so flippin’ eager, but Anthony says he just wants to stop the terrorists. We’re not buying it, Bug-Boy.

Blades gets a call, and it’s Luke asking for the name of the person in custody. Blades can’t tell him, but after some dancing around Luke finds a way to confirm that Laurel’s being held without incriminating Blades. Luke hangs up, and he’s ready to raise hell. He tells Scarlett to get him Director Marchant on the line, and then he thanks Gareth. Aww… it’s nice to see these two working together. Red and Luke need to swap their respective Chiefs of Staff.

Out in the lobby, Rochelle and Gustav are watching Scarlett as she stares at the wall (or possibly through it?). Gustav’s device is making all kinds of interesting sounds, and they realize Scarlett is communicating with someone on the other side of the wall. Whoa!

They step out into the hall and see a couple of young staffers who apparently received Scarlett’s message. When the one staffer walks away, Rochelle decides to follow him. Meanwhile, Luke asks Director Marchant if he has Laurel, and the director says no way. Luke asks him repeatedly, but the director assures him they absolutely positively do not have Laurel (while he’s watching her on the monitor). Well, shit. What now?

Luke tells the director that he’s subpoenaing him to a special meeting of the Senate Intelligence committee to review the directive, like right this minute. I love Luke in protective, big-brother mode. Luke will call for a committee vote, which means the Appendix Q request is on hold… for now. That doesn’t stop Fake Constituent guy from questioning Laurel about the IRF and the ambulance driver. Laurel denies all knowledge of both, but they twist her answers until it looks like she’s lying.

The interrogator plays a recording of Laurel talking to Gustav (where Gustav tells her it’s not safe to talk on the phone, which sounds all sorts of suspicious). They want to know who Gustav is, but if Laurel tells them they’ll bring in Gustav for enhanced questioning, too. She refuses, which just makes it look like she’s hiding something. Laurel changes the subject to Anthony’s brain bugs, and the psychologist who’s watching tells Director Marchant they probably shouldn’t use enhanced questioning on someone with a possible mental illness. Gee, ya think?

Mari: You don’t get brownie points for this, asshats.

Dani: Director Marchant sighs and says he’ll get approval for it. Wow, sorry the possibly delusional woman you’re about to torture has inconvenienced your schedule.

National Mall. Gustav is doing something with his bug detector. Rochelle shows up, which is weird because I thought she was following that other guy. Gustav says he “lost him,” so I guess he was following him, too? Or following the frequencies? IDK, I’m so confused. Gustav was hoping he could track the bug people to figure out where they’re holding Laurel, but they must have to be within a certain range, like 50 feet. Rochelle asks if he recorded the earlier weirdness between Scarlett and the others, and when he says yes she tells him to play it back and send it out as if it were coming from him. Gustav says he would’ve thought of that eventually and OMG I’m shipping these two so hard right now.

Senate Intelligence Committee. Red is blustering about this being a ticking time bomb, terrorists-at-the-door sort of scenario that needs to not take too long. I’ll let you read all about enhanced interrogation and decide whether maybe it’s important not to rush a decision. Unless you have irrefutable proof of an actual ticking time-bomb, I’d say it’s a pretty easy decision.

Luke asks Director Marchant questions about enhanced interrogation, and the director says the U.S. absolutely does not torture. Uh-huh. Luke asks if waterboarding is torture, and the director says it is. Hmm, so then what’s the big water hose you got dangling beside Laurel’s chair back at Torture Headquarters, huh?

As the questioning continues, Gareth, who’s showing a file to a Republican senator on the panel, slips Luke a note.

Just kidding (although there are probably Luke/Gareth fanfics aplenty). The note actually says “ask about controlled immersion.” Luke does, and we learn that controlled immersion differs from waterboarding in that less water is used. Well, that should make Laurel feel much better!

Red interrupts to remind everyone that we’re talking about terrorists here. He wants us to picture suicidal jihadists crashing planes into skyscrapers, but it’s hard to do that when what we see is Laurel strapped to a table, trying to be brave, while Fake Constituent tells her Luke will lose this fight. Laurel tells him he’s wrong, because Americans don’t like torture. That’s why they have to call it something else.

Fake Constituent responds with a story about his car breaking down in Po-Dunk, USA, and some hick family helping him out, even though they had nothing.

Fake Constituent: That’s the American people. They are great individually, the nicest people in the world. But get them in a group… voting? They turn vicious.

Ugh, I hate that he’s right.

Over on Not-FOX-News, Megan Hilty is interviewing someone (above the hilarious headline “Torture? I hardly knew her!”), asking whether or not torture is really effective. The woman she’s interviewing thinks we’d all be better off if we never had to look at, think about, or speak of torture at all. Yeah, I’m pretty sure the Germans tried that whole “hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil” thing, and it didn’t turn out all that well for them. Good try, though.

Back at the Senate, the committee is taking a short break, while Luke and Gareth are wishing they had secret decoder rings.

Luke thinks he’s up by a vote, but Gareth tells him he’s actually down by one. A John McCain-ish Republican war hero who normally opposes torture had to leave, so Luke calls Papa Healy in to track him down.

Outside, Rochelle finds a pack of joggers and tells Gustav to broadcast the bug message at them. It makes one of them stop, just as they predicted. It also makes Gustav say “crap” a lot, but Rochelle is chill. She tells Gustav to just stare back and keep broadcasting. Then she suggests they turn away slowly.

Mari: Much natural, very good.

Dani: A+

The jogger nods and runs off. Gustav decides to follow him, and when Rochelle asks why he says in case the dude can lead them to Laurel. Um… why is Rochelle asking this, when she was the one who suggested they broadcast the bug signal for this very reason? If we have to have sloppy exposition, can it please not come from Rochelle? She’s too good for this, show.

Laurel Healy and the Chamber of Torture. (M: Where’s Fawkes when you need him?) (D: Probably dead, like every other HP character I liked.) Fake Constituent is adjusting the flow regulator on the water hose, so that once they start the
waterboarding
controlled immersion it won’t cross the limits into those we’ve classified as torture. How thoughtful. Laurel is still strapped down to the table as they all watch C-SPAN 2 to see how the vote goes. Remember when you misbehaved as a kid, and your mom said your dad would punish you when he got home, and the anticipation was soooooo much worse than the beating itself? Well, Laurel has endured hours of being tied to a chair or strapped to a table, with nothing to do but study the tools they’ll eventually use to torture her. I just can’t even, you guys. This episode is KILLING ME and they haven’t even touched her yet. Fake Constituent tells Laurel to cheer up (smile, girl!) because the vote could still go her way.

Mari: I’m with you and I’m so glad you feel that way because I literally had to pause the episode and walk away and I thought maybe it was just me. Have I said stressful yet? Because this episode.

Dani: Totally. This one made me squirm worse than any horror show. It’s incredibly well done, even if it is a nightmare for recappers.

Cut to Papa Healy, who tells Luke that the missing senator is probably out sleeping with his mistress. Luke tells him to track him down, and I’m kinda surprised that Papa Healy would need to be told this when his only daughter is about to be subjected to enhanced questioning by the Feds. I realize you have no soul, Papa Healy, but I thought you still had some heart! Papa Healy tells Luke to stall for an hour while he fetches the senator. Back in the meeting, Red calls for the vote but Luke has many, many thoughts to share first.

Meanwhile, Rochelle and Gustav have followed the jogger right back to the Senate offices where they started. The jogger does his creepy, silent stare-talk with Scarlett, and how does everyone else in the office just carry on like this freaky shit is NBD? (M: My #1 annoyance.) Out in the hallway, Rochelle suggests that Gustav broadcast just a part of the transmission he recorded earlier, to see if maybe they can figure out what their words mean. Gustav considers for a moment and then tells Rochelle she’s much smarter than he realized and these two just need to kiss already.

When the jogger leaves Scarlett’s desk, Gustav broadcasts the first part of the message at him. Surprisingly, this makes the guy walk straight into a wall, face-first. Rochelle tells him to do it again (love her), and he walks into another wall. They turn their device on Scarlett, but instead of making her walk into a wall they try out the second part of the recording. This makes Scarlett drop her phone and raise both her arms.

I’m enjoying this because it’s much-needed humor after all the torture talk, but a part of me is like wait, what? Was the original message really “walk into a wall, then reach for the sky?” I think something got lost in translation.

Mari: I’ve now spent too much time trying to decode this and my best guess is that maybe there is some kind of “drop everything” and “walk to the Senate building” kind of message? I did my best.

Dani: Okay, that works. I’m not sure whether I should be impressed that you cracked their code… or really, really scared.

Back in the Senate, Red is pushing for a vote but Luke is doing his best to argue the finer points of what is and isn’t necessary. Red says they should look at Jack Bauer, and everything he had to do to keep America safe. Luke points out that Jack Bauer was a fictional character, although that didn’t stop Justice Antonin Scalia using him as a legal defense. (I love how this show reminds us of all the crazy crap our politicians, judges, and government agencies do. I’m actually starting to wish meteor bugs were real, because the alternative is just depressing.)

Luke and Red continue to argue, but then Papa Healy shows up with the missing senator and Luke is all “I’m done, let’s vote.” As the missing senator passes by, Luke asks if he can count on his vote and the guys tells him sorry, hombre, not with the public watching (maybe next time ask him this sooner?). Couldn’t Papa Healy have warned him? Now there’s an extra vote in Red’s favor, whereas before they might have been deadlocked.

Red calls for the vote, and he gets 12 yeas, making it a majority. Back at Torture Central, Fake Constituent shrugs and tells Laurel he’s sorry, because part of him was wishing the vote had gone the other way. Laurel tries telling him it still can, but his assistants lower the table and strap her head into a thing so she can’t move it. She’s still trying to argue her case, but Fake Constituent believes his job makes the country a safer place. Maybe he’s right… but what if he’s wrong? Is it worth torturing someone who could be innocent to maybe, possibly stop a terrorist attack? Do the ends always justify the means? Does the safety of the many trump the rights of the few? Who gets to make that call, if so? Do we, as a society, trust the moral compasses of our elected officials to get this right?

WTF, SHOW – LAST WEEK YOU GAVE US SALAMI SEX AND THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY, AND NOW WE’RE DEBATING CONSEQUENTIALISM AND NORMATIVE ETHICS? WHAT IS HAPPENING???

Mari: It gets even more CAPSLOCK for me when you consider the fact that they don’t even know that this IS a terrorist attack. In the atmosphere we are living in, it’s enough that it could be a terrorist attack just because it’s literally a thing that has happened and is happening elsewhere. Stacked up against it actually alien bugs, the fact that it could be a terrorist attack seems even more serious and even more ridiculous and I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE RIGHT ANSWER IS. JUST DROP EVERYTHING AND WALK TO THE SENATE IDK IDK.

Dani: DROP EVERYTHING AND WALK TO THE SENATE will now be my go-to phrase for when I’m freaking out about ish.

Fake Constituent covers Laurel’s face with a cloth and holds the hose above her nose and mouth. He’s poised to begin the not-waterboarding, but C-SPAN 2 is still playing in the background, and he hears Red telling the senators they can’t vote twice. Apparently, a bunch of the senators who voted yes have also just voted no.

Red calls for another count of the nays, so Luke and most of the Dems raise their hands. But right in the middle of Red counting, a bunch of other senators raise both their hands. The cameraman pans out, and we see Rochelle and Gustav playing with the bug-message transmitter. Red starts chastising everyone who tried to vote twice, but even as he’s saying it his own arms rise up. He’s trying to fight it, but that bug message must be pretty damned powerful. Finally, everyone puts their arms down.

Red wants to just count the original yes votes, but Luke nopes that one bigtime, saying the senators cancelled out their yes votes when they later voted no. So Red calls for another full vote, reminding everyone that they can only vote once. Gustav and Rochelle tweak the device, and several of the senators leave their seats, as if they’re about to walk right out of the meeting. But instead they walk face-first into the nearest walls. Then they get up and do it again, over and over, on live TV. Awesome.

Mari: These two are my favorite.

Dani: I need them both in my life. Like, NOW.

Flashbulbs are popping like mad as Red’s arms go back up into the air, seemingly beyond his control. Gareth has been watching all of this from the back of the room like WTF, and then he spots Gustav and Rochelle sneaking away.

Waterboarders-R-Us. Fake Constituent turns off the TV and looks disgusted by what he just saw. He grabs the hose and the look on his face says, “fuck it, I got a job to do.” Then he thinks twice, because he’s not Jack Bauer and this is real life, not a TV show (even though it is, but you know what I mean). He pulls the cloth from Laurel’s face and takes her back to the Senate offices. He’s surprised she didn’t take the day off (Word) but Laurel says there’s too much to do. I hope a big part of her to-do list includes demanding that both Luke and Gareth wear ear plugs every moment they’re not awake.

Back in Luke’s offices, Laurel hugs it out with Gustav and Rochelle, and Gareth watches as the Orchestra of Feels plays.

Gareth goes back upstairs, unseen. Laurel shares an emotional hug with Luke, and then Papa Healy comes in and seems suitably relieved to see his daughter safe and sound. He hugs Laurel as Rochelle and Gustav watch from the lobby. But then Gustav’s bag starts making noise, and the bug detector goes crazy when he points it at Papa Healy. Well, shit.

Mari: DAMMIT. I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS.

Dani: Papa Healy is a Washington kingmaker, so I wonder what impact his being infected will have on the show. Remember that little throwaway line I mentioned in our very first recap? Laurel comments that her former bedroom looks like a Bond villain lives there, and Luke tells her it’s because their dad is consulting with Armed Services. I thought it was a weird thing to mention at the time, and now I’m wondering if we’re being inexorably led down a path toward war.

Apart from the people walking into walls, this was a tough episode to watch. But I’m sure that was the point. I don’t want to be like the woman Megan Hilty was interviewing; I don’t want to say, “this makes me uncomfortable, so I’m not going to watch it.” That’s a cowardly response, and I applaud the show for not flinching from topics that should be more firmly entrenched in the American consciousness. With The Good Wife, Robert and Michelle King excelled at shining an unabashedly bold light on real-world events that got lost in the 24-hour news cycle, things like the NSA’s ability to conduct unchecked, untraceable surveillance on us, or what would happen if Ed Snowden ever tried to return to the US, or what it’s like to be held for countless hours – without lawyers, Miranda rights, or being charged – in one of the Chicago PD’s secret detention and interrogation sites.

And that was just three random episodes. The Kings are doing the same thing with BrainDead, only this time they have the width and breadth of American politics to cover, and they’re no longer limited to topics a Chicago attorney could reasonably be expected to encounter.

The Kings originally planned BrainDead to run for four seasons, with the next three seasons set in equally ridiculous places: Wall Street, Silicon Valley, and Hollywood. I would really love to see where they’d take this show, but the ratings for this first season have been abysmally low, so we’ll probably never get to experience the rest of their vision. Cross your fingers for Netflix, I guess. They made Gilmore Girls happen, so they can do anything.

Mari: I continue to be amazed at how this series shifts tone and in bigger ways than just moments within the episode. The salami episode was hilarious and silly and pretty much unlike anything I’ve ever watched. Laurel’s brain was on the brink of being eaten, but it was still almost a romp of an episode. This week? I was more afraid for Laurel than I’ve ever been, I was more frustrated with our political system, with law enforcement, with THE WORLD. I was just kind of madsad at everything by the end of this episode. That is a job well done by this episode and I’m going to go watch something that reminds me that there is good out in the world like The Great British Bake Off or videos of people saving cats or something.

Next time on BrainDead: Hey, so maybe we are on a path to war as Red produces some bogus witness is S01 E08 – The Path to War Part One: The Gathering Political Storm.

Dani Denatti (all posts)

I’m a serial procrastinator with mild obsessive tendencies, so instead of writing my next novel I’m probably counting the ice cubes in my drink to make sure it’s an even number. I’m also a grammar nerd with a preternatural passion for the Oxford comma and a 96% success rate of knowing when something “feels" wrong, even though I'm too lazy to memorize the actual rules. I love learning new things and am particularly interested in Dutch painters, Italian architecture, and Canadian bacon.

Marines (all posts)

I'm a 20-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.

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