Previously: The Fang Gang used blood magic to break away from Gina Torres’s spell.
–
Sacrifice
Lorraine: In an attempt to make Connor even more unsympathetic than he was before, it appears he is immune to Gina Torres’s blood. We join him now, telling Angel that he’s wrong about everything and that they are going to tear him apart. More Jasminenites approach. Angel reacts quickly, shutting the door and using his body weight to hold it closed. He tells the rest of the Gang to make a run for it. Someone who knows the truth must survive. They all take off down the fire escape as Angel keeps trying to hold the door.
In an attempt to make Connor slightly less unsympathetic than a minute ago, he starts banging on the door, and in between hits, he says he’s finally part of something. He finally belongs and he won’t let anyone ruin that. Angel whispers, “I know son,” before he busts through the door and into the hallway. Angel starts punching Connor IN THE FACE repeatedly while the approaching group of Jasminenites start to attack.
Sweeney: Dearly as Connor deserves to have his ass beat, this IN THE FACE moment is miserable to watch. LET’S GO BACK TO THE DUETS, OK?
Lor: If only.
We cut to Wesley driving Angel’s convertible and pulling up alongside the hotel. Fred looks up and says there has to be something they can do. Gunn suggest cutting out the power, but Wesley poo-poos the idea. One second later, Connor lands on the hood of the car, face down and knocked out. Angel lands next to him, on his feet. He hops off the hood and pulls Connor’s body to the floor. Fred scoots over, Angel gets in the car and tells Wesley to drive. Fred, for some reason, speaks up for Connor but Angel’s all, “OH WELL.” I laughed at him dismissing his son, but then felt bad for Connor. I’m sure it’ll pass.
Kirsti: No Sandy Cohen Eyebrows for you, Angel.
Lor: Mostly, though, Angel’s GO GO GO is about the approaching crowd of Jasminenites, followed by none other than Gina Torres herself, looking downright statuesque. Wesley reverses, spins the car around and takes off in the opposite direction. If the only thing that stood between me, a car full of my closest friends and a maggoty, gross, mind controlling evil was reverse? Sorry car full of friends. We’re probably going to die. If what stood between us was parallel parking? We’d DEFINITELY die.
Sweeney: “What’s the point? Everywhere you go has valet.”
Lor: A+ and Electric Cellos.
After the credits, the Fang Gang drive in silence while listening to a radio report about the mayor of LA naming the city the first Citadel of Gina Torres and the Catholic Church replacing all “false idols” with her likeness. Angel turns off the radio and they freak about what they are going to do with no leads, no database, no weapons, no shelter and very little gas. Fred keeps up her sudden pro-Connor streak and says they should’ve brought him along. She wonders about the possibility that he won’t wake up. Angel asks what would’ve happened if they brought him along and he did wake up. An even worse car ride is what I’m thinking.
K: Probably. Also, this is why you should always keep your petrol tank as close to full as possible. You know, just in case you need to escape from a mind-controlling person-eating maggot monster.
Lor: Well, I’ll be filling up after work.
Five people are undressing in Gina Torres’s room. Orgy time! Except not really. Gina just eats them and not even in the cool way. Her green murder light stirs Connor, whose face is all bloody. The light dies down and Connor beams at Gina Torres and says she’s indescribable. There was a time when whenever you told my niece that she was cute or smart or that you loved her, she would just put her little baby hand on her baby hip and say, “yeah.” Gina Torres gives Connor one of those yeahs. She passes her hand over Connor’s face and he’s healed. He’s also agitated and wants to stop the Fang Gang. Gina Torres says they will, but she ain’t scared. She’s growing closer to her followers and they are her skin. She lists other things they are, like her eyes and fists, but I got hung up on the part where she calls her followers her skin.
K: Legit. I guess she takes after her father?
Lor: Who knew involvement with other people’s skin was genetic.
The Fang Gang pull up to a gas station. They check out the people there and Lorne points out that it’s an awful lot of people. They don’t have much of a choice, though. Wesley says that if they make it out of Gina Torres’s sphere of influence they may be able to warn people or form a resistance. First thing is first, though. They need gas.
A man pays for his gas at the pump. He grabs the nozzle and turns toward his SUV, only to run his face into Gunn’s fist. The plan once again relies on Wesley driving in reverse, this time near enough to the pump so Gunn can fill ‘er up. The rest of the Gang jump out of the car. Angel shouts that they don’t want to hurt anyone and man approaches them, and in Gina Torres’s voice says Angel is hurting them, just by existing. Angel knocks that guy out. Wesley knocks out a soccer mom. A man dressed in camoflauge gets closer and in Gina Voice says, “You can’t outrun my love. It has wings made of radio.” LOL. I think there’s a band name in there. My younger self would probably want to stick those lines in some bad poetry.
Sweeney: We could have written so much bad poetry together. Except this friendship would greatly conflict with our deep belief in how profoundly misunderstood we were.
K: Meanwhile, my notes on that particular line say, “Were the writers high for this entire season?” I’m pretty sure the answer is a big fat yes.
Lor: Another man, holding a wrench, walks toward them purposefully, but not purposefully enough to run or charge. The Fang Gang have had enough of the creepiness, so they all jump back in the car. The Wrench Walker jumps on the hood of the car (that hood’s had a busy episode) and Wesley drives, knocking Wrench Walker to the ground. The LOLPD follow, hot on their trail. The Wrench Walker laughs and it transitions us to Gina Torres, lounging at the Cult HQ, also laughing.
We cut back the the Fang Gang, quickly realizing that since they are the only criminals in the city, there is no way they are going to be able to drive out of it. Angel says it’s time to disappear. We cut to a helicopter flood light passing over Angel’s now abandoned car. For the slower viewers at home, the camera pans to the left and reveals a manhole cover, still slightly open.
In the (K: amazingly clean) sewers, the Fang Gang are sad and dejected. Angel is being a hardass, but agrees to give them one minute to regroup. Gunn uses his minute to complain about a lack of plan. Angel admits that the whole Gina Torres thing took him by surprise. Us too, Angel. I think it took the writers by surprise too. I think they were surprised even as they wrote it. Gunn says he isn’t eating any rats and Angel says he isn’t either. They keep yapping at each other until Fred remembers about Cordelia. She can’t believe she forgot about her, but Angel advises them all to do just that. Minute’s up. Time to walk. As they do, we pan to a vent nearby where a pair of red demon eyes glow at us.
Coma Suite at Cult HQ. Connor sits at Cordy’s bed side when Gina Torres comes in and calls his name. He shows her Cordy’s cut up hand, and GT takes this moment to be all, “UGH. Isn’t it awful what they’ve done to her?!” And Connor goes along with it even complains about how the Fang Gang are always using magic. Unlike Connor who simply lets innocent girls be murdered in the name of magic. It’s totes different. (S: Not just lets – he personally captures innocent girls for ritual slaughter. Totes different!) Gina Torres wants Connor to leave so she can be alone with “her mother.” Connor hesitates a bit. When he finally leaves and closes the door, the scene cuts to black.
In the sewers, Lorne asks Fred if she’s still bummed about Charisma Carpenter being dumped in coma-land. She is, no matter what Angel says. Lorne agrees that Angel does seem a little heartless lately. From ahead, Angel tells them that hearts get in the way, ’cause you know. Super hearing.
K: I feel like I need that on a t-shirt: “Team Heartless Cow: because hearts get in the way.”
Lor: That’s fine. Team Feels will be wearing, “Team Feels: More Human Than You,” shirts.
Despite everything, Wesley still misses Gina Torres and the way she made him feel like he knew what was right. It’s kind of a passing line, but I like that this is what Wesley is focused on and what he misses. He’s toed with the line between black and white, and made some incredibly stupid choices, all while thinking he was in the right. (S: A+ observation.) Gunn says it’s a hard thing to quit cold turkey. Fred thinks about when they sat together and chatted at the bowling alley and Wesley makes sure to tell us that it sure is weird that such an old being didn’t have a name! (If this is not significant later, well, it isn’t my fault the writing made it seem like it certainly! should! be!)
Angel and Wesley, who are walking ahead of the gang, fall through a hole in the ground and it startles me good. Wesley manages to hold onto the edge of the hole and Gunn grabs him. Angel, however, falls through to the bottom. From down there, Angel sees a dirty teenaged kid come out of nowhere and point a long stake at him.
After a Not Commercial Break, we see that it’s actually a little band of dirty teenagers. Angel calls up to Wesley who confirms that he is okay. A Dirty Kid checks in with his Dirty Peers, each of them holding up a threatening weapon against a member of the Fang Gang. Angel says he hates when people point sharp wooden objects at him and spidey jumps out of the hole. He disarms the Smallest Dirty Kid and the rest of the Fang Gang follow suit. Angel stops them rather quickly, as it’s clear that these Dirty Kids aren’t under the influence of Gina Torres.
K: What a crazy random happenstance!
Sweeney: Methinks contrivance is going to do what it does best and bring some people together!
Lor: The Dirty Kid of Color asks who Angel is talking about, but Gunn pushes him a bit and says they’ll be asking the questions. Angel tells Gunn to let him go and the Dirty Kid of Color is all, “Gunn?” because of course the two black men in the scene know each other. Of course. And Gunn gives the not at all clunky introduction of, “Tommy Golden’s little brother? Randall? Little ass Randall Golden, man. This punk stole my car when he was 12 years old.” Why thank you, Gunn. Now I feel like I know all I need to know about Little Ass Randall Golden. Gunn, in a more friendly manner, repeats that they will be the ones asking the questions, starting with what the heck is making all those eerie noises in the sewer. Smallest Dirty Kid simply says, “it’s back.”
Back at Cult HQ, Connor comes back into the Coma Suite to find Gina Torres looking at an empty bed. You know, this is not the first time I’ve noticed a bit of hesitance from Connor to do what Gina asks him to do. He defies her by coming back here, where everyone else under her influence seems all to happy to follow her directions completely. YOU ARE FISHY, CONNOR. VERY FISHY. Anyway, Gina Torres explains that Cordy’s blood is dangerous to them. Connor asks where she is and GT non-answers, “where I want her to be.” I don’t know when we should give Charisma Carpenter the official goodbye. Fuck that, never mind. We should’ve done it at the end of season 3 right before her character was axe-murdered.
K: A+.
Sweeney: In my headcanon she left a few episodes sooner, skipping the the are-we-in-love-can-we-say-it episodes entirely, leaving what was once an awesome character in tact. She skipped out to set up shop elsewhere or something. Challenges to this headcanon (like, you know actual canon) will be ignored.
Lor: The Dirty Kids lead the Fang Gang into an alcove in the sewers. It’s gated off, though Angel is clearly doubtful about the set-up. Fred wants to know what they are trying to hold off, but Little Ass Randall Golden says they don’t know. The Smallest Dirty Kid gives himself the name “Matthew” and follows Angel around as he inspects the rest of the alcove. In the background, the Dirty Kids tell the story of how they came underground two weeks ago when the sun went out only in LA and they’ve been hanging out here ever since. Angel asks Dirty Matthew for water and proceeds to clean his bloody knuckles. Dirty Matthew asks whose blood it is and Angel answers, “Somebody I knew.”
K: I object, Lor. Poor Wally doesn’t deserve to be associated with this crapfest of a show…
Lor: Fred tells the Dirty Kids that it’s really crazy running into them in this part of the sewers, seeing has how they are, or were, monster killers. Angel picks up a sword and assures her that they still are. Little Ass Randall Golden objects because the sword belonged to his now-dead brother. Angel’s all, “finders keepers!” and says it’s time to “go get professional on this evil son-of-a-bitch’s ass.”
Diva Chambers. Gina Torres is wrapping up a phone call. Connor wants to go after the Fang Gang since the police have lost them. She says he’ll be able to soon, but first it’s time for celebration because that was the governor on the phone and he’s going to dissolve his administration, leaving the state to answer to Gina Torres. She tells Connor that she’s going to free the people from all their trouble and they won’t know what hit them, which is probably a phrase she should keep out of her peace pitch.
K: I’m more than a little confused about why the governor would hand the state over to her when JUST LOS ANGELES IS UNDER HER INFLUENCE. I mean, we’ve clearly seen that Sunnydale isn’t, and we found out recently that Gilroy is “up north” from Sunnydale, so it’s clearly not THAT far from LA to Sunnydale. And if Sunnydale is south of Gilroy, then presumably SACRAMENTO ISN’T UNDER JASMINE’S INFLUENCE OMG WTF SHOW I CAN’T EVEN.
Sweeney: It seems like anyone who gets exposed to her comes under her influence. There are about a thousand problems with this whole mechanism, but this part didn’t seem so dubious. She won most people over via mass media. Seems legit that she could influence people over the phone too. The real issue is what happens next, given that the rest of Sacramento presumably isn’t under her influence, but I’m guessing the show just threw that shit in there for funsies and is basically going to forget about it now.
Lor: As we all should
She keeps on that Connor will be right by her side and they’ll live like a family. She hugs him briefly but pulls back to ask why he isn’t smiling. Connor doesn’t know. Gina Torres thinks that he has to surrender completely, like Cordelia. Maybe he’ll be dying soon too then! SURRENDER LIKE CORDELIA, CONNOR. DO IT. Anyway. Apparently Connor has been keeping his pain, the only constant thing in his life, from Gina Torres. She digs her nails into Connor’s open palm and tells him to surrender his pain. He says, “okay, ” and Gina’s all, “cool” and then she shows him that she has nail marks on her palm that mirror his. The little wounds heal before our very eyes.
Angel leads his gang and the Dirty Kids through the sewer to the place where Little Ass Randall Golden’s [LARG] brother got snatched. We hear some growling just before an unseen creature grabs LARG and pulls him up through a pipe. Angel spidey jumps up after him and after some fighting noises, LARG falls down back through the pipe. Angel follows after him, in full vamp grill. Dirty Matthew sees this and runs away, scared. Angel starts to run after him but something grabs Fred. He swings his sword at the creature and it lets Fred go. Angel is worried about what will happen if Dirty Matthew reaches the surface. Gunn and Fred go after him. It’s after those two are gone that Angel realizes that Wesley is now missing.
The Demon Section of the Sewers. That was probably not my best nickname ever. (K: Based on what we’ve seen in the past four seasons, the entirety of the LA sewer system is the Demon Section. But OH WELL.) We finally see the creature that’s been making the rounds and it’s insect-like but huge. It has pincers for hands and multiple arms and makes these tongue clicking noises that give me the heebie jeebies. The Clickety-Clack Demon yells at Wesley that they loved her first.
K: The Clickety-Clack Demon is a much better name than I gave it in my notes, which is “The Lovechild of Gollum and Shelob.”
Lor: After a Not Break, Angel is inspecting the area from where Wesley was snatched. Angel wants to go track it and asks Lorne to take the Dirty Kids back to their alcove. Except the Dirty Kids have their weapons out again and they are not down with this plan.
Back with the Clickety Clack Demon, Wesley’s all, “OKAY. You loved her first!” but it takes him a second longer to figure out that when Clickety talks about his kind loving “her” first he means Gina Torres. Clickety doesn’t understand, so Wesley has to explain that they gave her the name “Jasmine.” Clickety is disgusted and probably because he much more prefers our method of always calling her Gina Torres. Forever and ever. Not really. He’s really offended that they named her. A blob of bloody innards drops in front of them and it reminds Clickety that he has work to do. Worst alarm clock ever. Though, maybe if a blob of bloody innards fell down near me I would never be late for meetings. Maybe I’d actually get up to go to the gym in the mornings.
K: Maybe I’d actually leave the house…
Lor: What was I saying?
Right, Wesley asks Clickety how exactly he defines, “love” and the demon thinks that’s obvious and universal. “Love is sacrifice.”
Fred and Gunn are following Dirty Matthew’s trail. Fred questions whether the noises they are hearing are actually Matthew or maybe the Clickety Demon. Gunn’s all, “BRING ‘EM ON,” but when Fred next suggest that it may be rats, he’s less brave. Gunn can’t believe that yesterday they were perfectly happy and now they’re in the sewers tracking down some little kid they met like five minutes ago. Fred tries to get Gunn to put himself in the litte kid’s shoes, but Gunn echoes Angel’s sentiments that this is no time for feelings. This irritates Fred because she doesn’t want to be dead inside. She doesn’t want to just be fighting for survival. She claims she can’t just turn off her emotions, and Gunn starts to answer that, but stops himself. Fred insists that he finish, and he says that she didn’t have trouble shutting off her emotions back when they killed the professor. When Gunn killed the professor. Fred assumes responsibility for his death as well, but she says that it eats her up inside. Still, she prefers that to being an empty shell.
Sweeney: Fred getting to be (under-appreciated) awesome is definitely a highlight of these few episodes. Love Triangle was a bad look on her (worse on Gunn and Wes, but shitty on her too). Being the only one with a firm grasp on the heart of the mission? Much better.
Lor: Agreed.
The Dirty Kids are still pointing their weapons at Angel. He basically tells the kids that he can kill them before they have time to act so they should move aside.
Gunn and Fred exit the sewers and head BACK INTO THE CITY. WORST PLAN EVER. THIS WILL NOT END WELL.
The Clickety Demon is busy at work carving up a body that hangs against the wall. The demon works and Wesley starts asking questions. Clickety says he’s from a different, older world. Wesley checks out a glowing orb near him. Clickety identifies it as his key, and tells Wesley to go ahead and check it out, because breathing in the other world for a few seconds will burn out his lungs. Wesley says the point is taken. Next, he asks if Clickety is preparing a spell. It is, but by way of flesh and blood magic, not with words. It scoffs at the idea of words because Gina Torres doesn’t care about words. It starts to say that there is only one word Gina Torres responds to, but cuts off before revealing it.
The body Clickety is carving is actually the body of a vampire. He comes to and is all, “UGH. Just stake me already!” Clickety is confused by the vampire’s distinct lack of dying. The vampire starts to answer back, but Clickety just rips his tongue out and throws it at Wesley’s feet. Ew. (K: SRSLY.) Wesley explains that the vampire can’t be killed in that manner. Clickety asks if this vampire is the same as the vampire with the sword he encountered earlier. Wesley knows he means Angel. Clickety says this is the problem with humans. They throw names around too easily and it makes them weak. Wesley connects the dots and realizes that Gina Torres’s name has power over her. Clickety freaks out.
Up on the streets, Fred and Gunn locate Dirty Matthew. Gunn tries to tell Matthew they have to go back underground right away, but he won’t go. Gunn promptly knocks the kid out. Fred is stunned.
Sweeney: BECAUSE HE JUST PUNCHED A CHILD IN THE FACE. Man, I have no idea how anyone rewatches this series without hating these characters from go.
Lor: Down with Wesley, he’s still connecting dots, and realizes that Gina Torres can’t give out a false name, which is why one of them had to name her. Clickety punches Wesley and dispenses even more useful information when it says that it’s not even the keeper of the name. The high priest is. Clickety is just a messenger. Angel finally appears in order to make a “shoot the messenger” joke and help Wesley. In that order. Clickety drops Wesley and starts to fight Angel, who is still wielding his Finders Keepers sword.
Lorne is lecturing the Dirty Kids about using harmful language, but they aren’t listening to him because they suck. It’s the only explanation.
K: Yup. Also, I’m pretty sure Lorne would be an amazing preschool teacher. You know, as long as he was allowed to drink on the job, because he’s not nearly as much fun without a cocktail in his hand.
Sweeney: Are you suggesting that Lorne is a Fun Bobby? That hurts my soul.
Lor: Gunn and Fred return with a still knocked out Dirty Matthew, and Little Ass Randall Golden doesn’t like this development one bit. For the second time, Gunn calls LARG, “son” and tells him that he did what he had to do. Dirty Matthew starts chuckling a very Gina Torres like laugh. Matthew sits up slowly and says, “I see you,” in Gina’s voice and it’s CREEPY. (K: SO MUCH OMFG I NEARLY DIED) Gina Torres talks through Matthew, convincing the Girl Dirty Kid and Little Ass Randall Golden to attack Gunn, Fred and Lorne. Those three take off running only to run into Connor and with a group of Jasminenites. In Gina’s voice, Connor says, “Hello again, children. I believe you’ve met my father.” EW. This show is on drugs, I promise you.
Angel kills Clickety. Wesley quickly fills Angel in on the fact that Clickety is from a different world that can be reached through the blue orb. (S: Random ass orb appears which Wesley insta-knows is an inter-dimensional portal. THE WRITERS ROOM WAS FUCKING BLITZED BY THIS POINT. I no longer have the capacity to even.) Wesley thinks the universe just handed them a break. Or, like, half a break because the other part of their gang are still running for their lives. Wesley examines the blue orb but doesn’t find much. All they know is that the priest holds Jasmine’s real name and that it’s probably bigger and badder than Clickety. Then, Angel presumably super hears the commotion and tells Wesley that something bad is going down. He knows Connor is there, and I’m going to go ahead and attribute that to super smell. I just know Connor is not one for proper hygiene. In fact, you probably don’t need super smelling to get a whiff of him from a mile away.
K: I’m guessing bathing regularly wasn’t a big priority when he was busy being tied to a tree and forced to track Holtz for five days as a kid.
Lor: Pfft. That was his excuse in Quor’toth. Hello, indoor plumbing.
In the sewers, Connor sniffs out his father and says his name. Cut to the Diva Suite where Gina Torres says, “Angel.” Back to the sewers where Fred calls for Angel. He sees the gang running down the sewers and calls in answer. They follow him into the room where he killed Clickety. Do sewer systems really have all these rooms and alcoves and stuff? I mean, not that I’d ever need that information or anything.
Angel closes the door and he stands with the gang against it, trying to hold off Connor and the soldiers he brought. Meanwhile, Wesley figures out that the blue orb is activated with blood, not with words. He happens to have some handy blood leaking out of a cut on his forehead. The blue orb activates and opens up a portal. Wesley tells Angel that he’s the one that has to go through as the atmosphere will kill the breathers. Angel hesitates, but Wesley repeats the line that someone who knows the truth has to live. Fred tells him that hearts get in the way. Angel decides to go. Wesley tosses him the blue orb and he walks into the portal.
Connor busts down the door with his soldiers. As the fighting happens, Gina Torres is in her room, receiving all the wounds of her soldiers on her own body. She laughs maniacally as this happens and heals the wounds instantaneously.
K: Gina Torres gives good maniacal laugh, as it turns out.
Lor: Insect Demon World. Angel looks around and sees a group of approaching Clicket Demons, clicking in a way that doesn’t exactly portray, “welcome.”
“Oh, hell,” Angel says. I love when characters speak my final thoughts.
I never saw this whole Rumpelstiltskin development coming. I did dedicate about a minute or two at some point to wondering how they would defeat such a powerful being. Alas. They came up with, “WITH HER OWN NAME!”
It was nice to see most of the Fang Gang working together, even when tensions were high in the sewers. I liked that this episode seemed self-referential in the way that it clearly spelled out for the audience that all this shit is a steaming pile of contrivance. We start with a list of all the things the Gang is without, including weapons, shelter and leads. We get a line about how WEIRD and LUCKY it is that they met the Dirty Kids in the sewers. Gunn announces that it’s time for the big fight scene. I guess it’d be meta if it weren’t sucky? Maybe it’s both. IDK.
K:
Lor: The Clickety demon hanging out in the sewers with super important information is just… well, contrived. There was a little bit of discussion recently in the comments about how TV shows are contrivance, by nature. That’s true, but I think it’s pretty clear that we aren’t just calling out things happening to characters. I mean, I don’t think it’s far fetched that other Jasminenites would try to find her across different worlds, especially if she has the kind of influence over them that she has on people in LA. So, for example, a storyline where these kinds of creatures are popping everywhere, looking for their beloved superior being? Not contrived. A storyline where one such creature happens to be performing ritual sacrifices in the sewers where our main characters happen to end up, for no good reason other than “because?” CONTRIVANCE.
Then there is the thing we’ve been saying every recap for the last few recaps: I didn’t expect any more from this show. I also drank a little while watching it.
K: Send the bill to Joss Whedon, Lor. God knows he owes us after the past six months.
Next time: Angel comes back and takes on Gina Torres once and for all in Angel S04 E21 – Peace Out.
Lorraine (all posts)
I'm a 20-something south Floridan who loves the beach but cannot swim. Such is my life, full of small contradictions and little trivialities. My main life goals are never to take life too seriously, but to do everything I attempt seriously well. After that, my life goals devolve into things like not wearing pants and eating all of the Zebra Cakes in the world. THE WORLD.
Sweeney (all posts)
I collect elaborate false eyelashes, panda gifs, and passport stamps. Reconciling my aversion to leaving the house/wearing pants with my deep desire to explore everything is my life's great struggle. I like language; semicolons bring fantastic things to the party, like letting it last longer.
Kirsti (all posts)
I'm a grad student who's staring down the barrel of 30 and I still live with my parents because I'm super broke. My degree is in information management, which is a fancy way of saying librarianship, which is a fancy way of saying "I get to read young adult books and have it count as studying". I have an inexplicable love for 90s television, eat too much chocolate, and tweet about the random crap that happens to me on public transport more than I should.