Hi Michelle22- I read your post and instantly recognised me in what you wrote.I have struggled to accept MM-I walked out the clinic after being told and just looked nervously at my husband.We didnt know what to say so just said "oh well what shall we have for tea ?" That was just 6 months ago and since then there hasnt been a month gone by where I havent been to the hospital for check ups,appts with the Dermatologist/Plastic Surgeon and to undergo more surgery.Looking back I think we both were frightened,confused and couldnt believe the words we had been told so had no reference point for how to "be". I have since had a few down moments and my husband has had a few wobbles but try to remain as positive as can be for our children and the family. I have had in total since Nov 13 five weeks off work-the last 4 were after the 2 biopsies on my left buttock-the recovery from them due to their location was painful and awkward and stopped me driving for 3 weeks ! When I returned to work,even though I had been keeping my employer fully updated verbally and with medical notes,letters etc she turned round and said to me"So do you really have cancer ?"I was floored and explained to her the seriousness of it -I got upset talking about it to her and I think that is one moment in time I dont think I will forget in a hurry-I will be getting more support from my employer now and they understand better the need for me to have to take time off at short notice if I need surgery. I am due to go in tomorrow for 3 more EB arranged last week so work have been more understanding this time around.I dont like to talk all the time about my MM with work colleagues when they ask how I am-they dont understand why I am not "better" after having the first surgery.Also my close friends dont want to talk about it as they think they are helping by distracting me with other things-thats why I joined this group. Its been a very stressful 6 months-every 2 months I see the dermatologist for full body checks and have just undergone mole mapping(embarrassing !) so u dont get time to "forget" but I am slowly coming to terms with MM.I too find it hard to ask and accept help and its been difficult to learn to rely on others since undergoing my first surgery-I went for my check up 2 weeks ago for the first time without my husband thinking all would be ok and then found out my original MM might be coming back and I have to have 3 more moles removed ! Was so down after that my husband has said he is always coming with me now.I dislike how my illness affects not just my life but lots of people who surround me both family,friends and work colleagues-thats what I worry about more than how I am feeling xxxx hoping with time it will get easierxxxx