As a husband and a relatively new father of 13 year old adopted daughter, I am always on the lookout for helpful resources that direct the reader to solid biblical truth on how to lead a family by the grace of God. There are certainly many books on the market that provide 10 ways to accomplish this aspect or 5 ways to better do that; however, few tackle in a comprehensive yet accessible manner how husbands and fathers are to best fulfill their calling to shepherd their families as Scripture outlines. Voddie Baucham, in his book Family Shepherds: Calling and Equipping Men to Lead Their Homes provides a marvelously helpful guide on what it means to be a leader in the manner that God desires.
Baucham divides this book into five sections each addressing a separate yet intimately related aspect of family shepherding. For those who may not be familiar with what the concept of a family shepherd looks like, Baucham rightly notes this duty if you will involves the need for fathers to “take the helm and begin to lead and disciple their wives and children. This taking of the family helm is rooted in God’s own role as our Heavenly Father. Baucham aptly comments that as men, “We’re the governors and guides of our families, and the way we lead has far-reaching implications.” In each of the sections of this book, Baucham remains firmly fixed on outlining the why, what, and how of what it means for fathers and husbands to lead.
Part one deals with the necessity that exists for men to be equipped with the tools to lead with a focus given by Baucham throughout on the biblical view of the family. While many pay lip service to the reality that parents, in particular fathers have been given the God ordained role of raising and discipling their children, many leave that responsibility to church programs such as youth group or Sunday School. To demonstrate what the biblical model looks like, Baucham takes the reader on a journey through Scripture, noting along the way the methodology and importance given to family discipleship. After building that foundation, he then provides a three-pronged approach to implementing biblical discipleship in the home. Parenting is after all more than schoolwork or ensuring your children do not embarrass you with their behavior out in public. Baucham correctly reminds us that we are raising the next generation of believers and the focus should be on raising a godly generation of men and women who are godly and mature.
In part two, Baucham explores family discipleship and evangelism within the home. We often think of evangelism as an external activity, something along the lines of going to where the heathen are and passing out some tracts in order to help people get “saved”, something far too often viewed as a singular event. Baucham avers “we must not make the mistake of reducing the gospel to introductory status. The gospel is all-encompassing.” Since the gospel produces faith, repentance, and obedience, proclaiming the gospel at all times in our homes is something the family shepherd must be about doing at all times. This is in accordance with the mandate provided in Deuteronomy 6. Baucham suggests a way to instill biblical knowledge in the home is through the lost practice of catechism. Those not familiar with that term or who might associate it as some sort of Catholic Church tradition are reminded by Baucham that at its core, “Catechism is simply a pedagogical method employing questions and answers to teach a set body of knowledge.” Essentially it involves sitting down with your family, reading Scripture and then discussing what you have read. Combined with family worship, something Baucham also encourages in this book, the reader will have a solid methodology by which to engage in sharing the gospel in their home.
A strong and biblically rooted marriage is another vital element in the home and Baucham tackles that subject in part three. Husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church, a tall and sometimes heady goal yet something we should all strive towards. In fact, Baucham states “leading a wife is the foundation upon which a man’s shepherding ministry in the home is built.” Engaging this foundation, Baucham discusses the fact that marriage is for procreation, sanctification, and finally a picture of our own relationship as believers with Christ. Furthermore, he notes what it means to live in the covenant of marriage. I appreciated his comments on rooting a marriage properly in the covenant of marriage rather than in our children. Many friends of mine who are now empty nesters are having a hard time adjusting to their children leaving home. Their lives were so focused on their children that once their children departed, they have issues relating to one another.
The family shepherd must train up a child in the way they should so when they are old they will not depart from that foundation. This necessarily involves training and discipline, two topics Baucham engages in part four. Anyone with children or who have ever been around children know that even the loveliest and well behaved child is a sinner. We live in a fallen world and family shepherds must help their children understand their need for the grace of God provided through the cross. Moreover, Baucham reminds the reader that “We’re not merely managing our children’s behavior; we’re actually instructing them in righteousness.” This will require jettisoning the popular approach of being your child’s buddy. Family shepherds must deal with sinful behavior, remind and teach them of what God expects and why, and call them to a place of repentance. Perhaps most important is the need for family shepherds to live and walk their talk and foremost to pray for your children. This restraining of sin will inevitably require corrective discipline. This tool is noted by Baucham as something that is not something that will bring about salvation but rather “it’s a tool God has given us, and he expects us to employ it in the monumental task of bringing up our children “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
The final section of this book provides a lifestyle evaluation for family shepherds, specifically the opportunity to assess our lives and to effect any needed changes. Baucham encourages husbands to be actively involved in a local church community. Church attendance is more than something to check off the weekly things to do list. It is a place where we can be edified, where we can connect with other family shepherds to encourage one another and to be encouraged. Baucham also addresses how family shepherds make use of their time. One thing I appreciated that Baucham addressed is the need for Sabbath rest, giving God a day He commands we give Him. The Sabbath often gets a bad name these days as some associate the Sabbath day with those who overreach on the works side of the issue. Baucham rightly reminds the reader that taking a day of rest involves what it was intended to be when God commanded Israel to observe this day, namely spending time with family and fellow believers in devoting a day to God and to serving Him, whether that is at home or at church. This serves to set the example for our children on the need to constantly focus on the things of God.
Family Shepherds is a book I highly recommend for all husbands and fathers to read. Baucham provides a number of important concepts that are biblically rooted and practical and if implemented will go a long way to helping family shepherds fulfill their God given mandate to lead their families in the things of God.
This book is available for purchase from Crossway Books by clicking here.