Type: Novel Translation
Title: Yokozawa Takafumi no Baai 5
Series: Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi
Author/Circle: Nakamura Shungiku, Fujisaki Miyako
Rating: PG
Language: English
Forum Discussion: HERE
Notes: You can also view the book in-progress on Pressbooks for what’s likely a more pleasant reading experience!
Chapter 9 (cont.)
“Have a good day, Oniichan!”
“Go get ‘em. Take care.”
“R–right…”
Standing there in the genkan being seen off by a broadly grinning Kirishima and Hiyori, Yokozawa was reminded of how this moment was always so damn embarrassing, and his lifeless response was his pathetic attempt at hiding his shame. He just couldn’t calm down with the two of them leering at him with expressions that said they knew just how embarrassed he was.
“Sure you aren’t forgetting something?”
“Not that I know of…?” He’d made sure he had his phone today, and his laptop was in his satchel. He’d checked that he had his wallet too, so he shouldn’t have forgotten anything else.
“When we leave, we always say, ‘I’m off!’, right?”
“………” Yokozawa’s words stuck in his throat as Kirishima pointed out the one thing he’d apparently forgotten. Greetings and such were an important part of interactions; he knew he really ought to say it. But it was so awkward right now that he’d done his level best to avoid doing so. Even for such a trivial little phrase, it was just embarrassing to go out of his way to say it to Kirishima’s face now.
If he’d just been faced with Kirishima, he could have tossed out a screw you and headed off, but Hiyori was standing here as well, and at length, he reluctantly spoke, “…I’m off.”
He then beat a hasty retreat out of the genkan, desperate to get away from the apartment as quickly as possible. “Ugh…” He then let out a great sigh and was on his way.
The reason he’d been lazing about at the Kirishimas’ apartment on a Monday afternoon was because it was a holiday today. But despite having the day off, preparations for the fair were still looming, and he had a mountain of work to take care of–so he’d taken his leave a bit early in the hopes of getting whatever work he could do at home done.
Kirishima was usually the one griping at him not to bring work home, but given the rather irregular fair being put on this year, he’d demonstrated his understanding by throwing his support behind Yokozawa whenever he could.
Reviewing the next day’s to-do list in his head, he stepped onto the elevator and lost himself for a moment to the soft swaying of the car as it descended–until the car jerked to an abrupt halt halfway down.
He took a step further in to give the new passenger boarding room to spare–but his eyes widened when he heard his name called. “Yokozawa-san?”
“Oh–hello.” The man waiting to step onto the elevator was none other than Iokawa. An uncle of one of Hiyori’s classmates, he was a salesman like Yokozawa working for Fujino Books. His gentle features were set off by the thick black-framed glasses he wore. They’d first met when Iokawa had accompanied his nephew to Kirishima’s apartment to bring Hiyori a birthday present. After running into one another again at a bar, they’d gotten to know each other a bit better following a brief conversation.
For some reason, Yokozawa seemed to run into the man by accident quite a bit, and given that these run-ins by and large happened because of how often Yokozawa was over at the Kirishimas’ apartment, it always made meetings like this just the tiniest bit awkward.
“Good afternoon. Were you at Kirishima-san’s place just now?”
“Ah–yes.” It wasn’t like he was doing anything wrong, but he could hardly be frank about their relationship and was left with no choice but to return Iokawa’s question with a half-hearted smile.
“Oh–did you perhaps spend the night?”
“Uh…well, kind of…yeah.”
“I must confess I’m jealous of how good friends you two are.”
Yokozawa was growing a bit flustered with the borderline tactless questions, and in an effort to deflect Iokawa’s attentions, he pressed back with a question of his own. “Whereabouts are you headed, Iokawa-san?”
“Grocery run. I just realized I haven’t a crumb to eat around the house–guess that kind of thing can happen a lot when you’re living along, don’t you think? Oh–but you kind of seem like you’d have a pretty good handle on keeping your meal situation organized.”
“Not at all; all I do when I get home is sleep, so my fridge is practically empty.” The only reason he’d gotten so adept at cooking of late was because of how often he was in and out of Kirishima’s place. He’d never hated cooking, per se, but it had always been something of a chore to cook for himself, so he’d settled for eating out or grabbing fast food or something from the convenience store.
“Oh, do you not cook? When I dropped by Kirishima-san’s place before, you were wearing an apron, so I just assumed you were comfortable in the kitchen.”
“Well, I do cook a bit–but it’s kind of a chore to cook for oneself. I normally subsist on fast food and convenience store fare, truthfully.” Cooking required the motivation of someone actually wanting to eat your food, taking joy in it. Maybe a gourmand could stomach it, but he personally found the thought of going all out on a meal he’d be the only one to enjoy just tiresome.
Now, though, he was doing his best to prepare delicious, nutritious meals for Hiyori; it really made the effort worthwhile when someone told you your food tasted delicious.
“I must admit that’s rather unexpected–you having a lazy side.”
“You really think it’s unexpected?”
“You seem like the type to take everything seriously and to see things through properly. I always thought you the type to put your all into everything you do.”
“Oh, not at all, I’m hardly…” He felt like Iokawa was overestimating him now–but just as he was set to relieve the man of his misconception, the elevator released a loud CLANG.
“Wha…?!”
The sound was quickly followed by the sensation of the car being jerked upward. Yokozawa reached for the wall to steady himself as he nearly lost his balance–and the elevator ground to a complete halt, although not because they’d arrived at their destination.
“Did we break down?”
“It seems so…”
Even straining to listen, he couldn’t detect any sounds of machinery moving–all that was left was an eerie silence. Recalling an incident on the news of an elevator plummeting to earth, he felt a chill run down his spine. Imagining the worst-case scenario, though, did nothing to change the fact that they were both helpless to change their current situation–so they might as well try to keep a positive outlook on the situation; that would be best mentally.
The elevator had been heading down, so even if the cable snapped for some reason, the impact shouldn’t be that bad. They might suffer a few scrapes and bruises, but nothing life-threatening.
“I wonder if we can get the doors opened…” But after trying both the ‘open doors’ button as well as a button for another floor, while the buttons lit up, the elevator refused to budge.
“So I guess this means we’re trapped…” Yokozawa muttered, addressing the situation with a sigh. While it would be nice if the power were quickly restored, they could just as easily be stuck here for hours. The only upside to the situation was that it was just the two of them here, meaning no children or elderly passengers had been on board to potentially suffer injury.
“I guess we should call for help, then? Let’s see here…I guess we just push this button here, huh?” Iokawa pressed the emergency call button, and they were immediately connected to the managing agency.
“This is the managing agency! How can I help you?”
“The elevator seems to have stalled–and now we’re stuck inside.”
The staff member on the other end of the line apologized profusely to the rather even-keeled delivery, “I’m terribly sorry about that! Is everyone all right?”
“We’re fine, no problems to speak of.”
“I’ll send someone right over, so could you give some further details?”
“I think we’re stopped somewhere between the first and second floors, but beyond that, I’m a little fuzzy. The buttons light up when we press them, but the elevator isn’t responding. How long do you think it’ll be before we can get out?”
“Let’s see…I’m afraid I can’t be very specific without seeing the damage in person, but I’ll have an attendant rush over as quickly as possible. I’m terribly sorry about this, but please wait a bit longer!”
“Thank you, then.”
“It might be difficult to get cell phone reception inside the elevator, so if you need anything at all, please just press the call button.” He sounded quite sorry for the inconvenience, cutting the line short with repeated apologies. The breakdown was pretty crappy luck, but at least they’d managed to contact the management agency quickly.
“Well there you have it.”
“Terrible indeed…” If this was how he was going to wind up spending his afternoon, he could’ve just as easily stayed at the Kirishimas’ place a bit longer. It wasn’t as if he had nothing to occupy his time with, work-wise, but it was a bit awkward to do so with someone looming over his shoulder.
“Yokozawa-san, are you fine on time? I was just heading out shopping, so I’m hardly put-out by the situation, but…”
“I was just going to head home and do some work, but there’s not exactly anything to be done about it now. At least it wasn’t a workday.” It sucked that the time was going to go to waste, but there was no use dithering over it now. If he’d been heading out for his morning commute on any other weekday, he’d be furious right now.
He considered trying to contact Kirishima but wasn’t too sure how the service would be from inside the elevator–plus, he didn’t want to worry the two of them unnecessarily.
“Well, I’m sure it’ll take some time–so shall we sit down?”
They should probably prepare themselves for at least a one- to two-hour wait, so it was best to avoid unnecessary energy expenditure. Steeling himself for a long wait, Yokozawa slipped his cell phone into his bag to avoid draining the battery. “Yes, I suppose so.”
He settled onto the floor of the elevator and placed his bag to the side. If this were a movie, they could probably pry open the door or escape through a ceiling hatch–but that was all possible because it was fiction. Here in the real world, they could only settle in and wait for the repairman to arrive.
While he normally wouldn’t have had any problem being in an elevator, though, when he remembered that they were locked in here together, a strange sense of being trapped crept over him. If he’d been alone, he probably could have coped…but he was here with Iokawa now, just the two of them.
A heavy silence stretched between them, and the one to finally break the awkward atmosphere was Iokawa. “Umm, I’ve wanted to ask you this for a while, but–what book shops do you oversee, Yokozawa-san?”
At the question, Yokozawa realized he simply needed to keep his job as the topic of discussion. It was, after all, really the only thing he and Iokawa had in common, and while there were differences in managing comics sales and children’s books, they were both salesmen for publishing houses.
“I don’t really have an area I’m responsible for, per se; I manage comics sales, though, so I can generally be found at shops those sell well at.”
“That reminds me, it was in Ikebukuro where I ran into you before, wasn’t it? I suppose the major player in comics sales around there would be…Books Marimo, then?”
“Indeed; I drop by quite often.”
“They’ve set up a great children’s books corner there too; I often wander around the comics area when I’m in the neighborhood, so we may have passed each other by and not even realized it!”
“It’s a possibility.” Books Marimo was a rather large chain store, with sales representatives from a number of publishing houses rubbing shoulders in its aisles. It was quite likely Iokawa had been among them.
“The section staff at Books Marimo always go all-out in keeping their areas looking nice, but the comics corner’s display is always a sight to see! I often fall prey to the recommendations–they all look so interesting, like you can’t go wrong!”
“There’s a part-timer who really does a great job putting together the displays for the basement floor.” The reason it stood out more than other areas was because the art school student in charge of the shoujo manga shelves put in far more effort than was called for. He liked to say he was doing it purely because he wanted to, but whatever the reason, Yokozawa was grateful.
“Oh, really? I suppose that sort of effort would thrill any publisher!”
“Whereabouts do you frequent, aside from Marimo?”
“I drop by the Jinbouchou area quite a bit, I suppose. But we don’t exactly have a huge sales staff, so I go wherever I’m needed. I’ve had a ton of out-of-town business trips this year.”
“I’m off on business trips quite a bit as well. But it’s always nice seeing your books lining the shelves of new shops you’re visiting for the first time.”
“Indeed! It’s great seeing that they’re pushing your stock. I love seeing the books they have on display and imagining ooh I bet students come to this shop a lot or I wonder if lots of parents bring their children here.”
The customer populace varied quite drastically depending on where a shop was positioned, with some catering more to schoolchildren and others more to office workers; Books Marimo was particularly popular with families, strangely enough.
“That reminds me–do you spend the night at Kirishima-san’s place often?”
“Huh?” Yokozawa jolted at the question thrown his way, completely caught off-guard. “Oh, no, just–he had to go to a relative’s wedding yesterday, so I was pulled into playing chauffeur after work.” While he was telling the complete and utter truth, though, his tone somehow made it sound as if he were making the entire thing up. He could only hope Iokawa hadn’t caught on to how shaken up he was by the turn in the conversation.
“Oh, I see! That sounds nice–a wedding! I was in an old friend’s wedding last year, and it was so nice, I actually got a little choked up! Kind of felt like the father of the bride.”
“That reminds me, he said something along the same line,” Yokozawa remarked, recalling Kirishima’s words. “That he synchronized with the bride’s father, and it made him start thinking about all kinds of things.”
“I suppose it must have been even stranger for him, being in the audience there–seeing as he has a daughter of his own. Hiyori-chan’s awfully cute, so I can imagine he won’t want to give her away. Our Yuuto will wind up as another annoying bug to be crushed.”
“I’m sure that’s not true–they went out shopping together and to see a movie just the other day, didn’t they?”
“Eh?! When did they start going out on dates?!”
It seemed Iokawa had not been privy to his nephews outing, and Yokozawa scrambled to collect himself. “Ah–no, I didn’t mean–I don’t think it was really a date…” He couldn’t help the bitter smile at the hopeful expression Iokawa turned his way.
Unfortuantely, given Hiyori’s attitude, she didn’t see the boy as a boy–he was simply another one of her friends. Which was likely precisely why Kirishima wasn’t pitching a fit over her associating with him, instead watching over them calmly.
While he and Kirishima had snuck off to tail the pair when they’d gone out together, Yokozawa suspected that a large part of the reason for the excursion had simply been to have a bit of fun with Yokozawa.
“It’s kind of sad that all I can really do as his uncle is cheer him on. But well, I suppose I first ought to worry about my own relationships… Have you ever thought about getting married, Yokozawa-san?”
“Huh?” was the only stupid response he could manage as his head struggled to keep up with the sharp turn in conversation. It was a rather sensitive issue to bring up all of a sudden, and while Kirishima’s face had popped into his mind for a moment, he’d quickly shoved it into a far corner of his mind for the time being.
“Well, when you get to be our age, your parents really start hounding you about that kind of thing, right? Pestering you, wondering if you’ve found someone nice yet. Though ever since I got dumped, they haven’t breathed a word about marriage to me…”
“Ah, right…” Realizing now what had brought the question on, he breathed a silent sigh of relief.
“I guess I’m finally at the age where I ought to settle down. Though I’ll admit it doesn’t really feel like it.” Iokawa’s words, mingled with a soft sigh of resignation, seemed to reflect the reality of their generation. Yokozawa had endured similar ponderings from his own relatives, but they’d mostly been delivered with the same sense of urgency as a conversation on the state of the recent weather, so he’d always just more or less ignored the questions.
“You probably don’t really need to get so worked up about it, I think.”
“So you’re in the ‘never getting married’ segment, then, Yokozawa-san?”
“It’s more that I feel like if there’s someone you want to marry, you probably should, but if there isn’t, then there’s no need to force yourself. Though I of course understand that everyone has their own opinion on the matter, and there’s always the view of spouse-hunting as simply being another way to meet The One.”
It all came down to that fated bond–for every tale of people who’d gotten hitched right after meeting, there were probably many others who felt drawn to one another but simply never settled down together.
Yokozawa himself had never really been interested in marrying; he’d just never seen it as something he needed in his life. Both his parents had always been so busy, he’d never really had that ‘happy family life’. But they’d been good parents, and he’d never been on bad terms with them, nor felt like the hadn’t loved him. Even now, with a fair bit of distance between them, they had a decent relationship. Maybe it was just because his parents had always been reasonably even-keeled. That was probably why he’d never seen marriage as something absolutely necessary in life.
However–while he’d never really aspired to domestic life before…after witnessing Hiyori and Kirishima’s parent-child relationship, his viewpoint had started to change just a little. Having someone to care for–family to protect–gave you the drive to tackle the day ahead. Hiyori was probably the reason Kirishima was so full of energy all the time.
Yokozawa couldn’t help but respect the way he never missed a beat in his work nor neglected his daughter. Every day since he and Kirishima had started seeing one another felt almost like a dream, leaving him thinking he couldn’t wait for the next day to come–something he hadn’t felt since childhood.
“So can I take that to mean there’s no one you’d like to marry right now?”
He gave a start at the question Iokawa lobbed at him while he’d been distracted. He really didn’t like discussing his private life like this, but at the same time, he didn’t want to outright lie. “…I’m perfectly content to be able to be with the person I care for without having to put a name to that relationship. That’s how I feel.”
Kirishima was a man, after all, and gay marriages weren’t recognized under Japanese law–and then there was the fact that social acceptance still hadn’t caught up. Plus, even if those issues were magically resolved, there was still Hiyori–she was the one Kirishima needed to put ahead of all others; it was only natural for Yokozawa to come second.
If Yokozawa’s and Kirishima’s relationship were to change in the future, it would probably be due to some shift in the environment between them in light of Hiyori’s own growth. Sure, she looked up to them now as a carefree elementary school child, but once she hit middle and high school, she might realize the true nature of their relationship.
It was already strange for a bachelor like Yokozawa to be flitting in and out of the home of a single father and his daughter. Kirishima always made sure to have his back, so he’d at least avoided coming off like some creepy stranger hanging around the complex, but if he’d been one of Kirishima’s neighbors, he might have found the whole situation just a bit strange.
He wouldn’t be surprised if Hiyori started feeling uncomfortable around him. If he thought she might be growing wary of him, he’d have to take his leave as quickly as possible. He saw the both of them–not only Kirishima, but Hiyori as well–as something precious to him; he’d rather die than do anything that might hurt her.
“—–”
Yokozawa froze at his own thoughts–perhaps this was the strange sensation he’d felt clutching at him the previous evening.
He could all too easily imagine their happy futures…but he couldn’t see himself there with them. If he were a relative–or even an old friend, he could probably drum up some flimsy excuse for their relationship, but it was far from normal for a male lover to be a part of their happy little family.
“But I suppose a marriage is a kind of contract. Unlike an ordinary romantic affair, a marriage seals your relationship in the eyes of the law. Isn’t it a bit unsettling to have someone you want to spend the rest of your life with but not actually go the final step and marry them? You might not be able to bind their feelings to yours, but you can at least give yourself some piece of mind–and only at the price of a single slip of paper.”
While Yokozawa concurred for the most part with Iokawa’s theory, it was difficult to apply it to a homosexual relationship like his and Kirishima’s. “You may have a point there–but I suppose it comes down to the feelings of the couple involved.” The steady continuation of a relationship required the hard work and good will of both halves of the pair. Sitting there languishing in the love your partner lavished upon you placed a great, one-sided burden on them–but being too meddlesome could, in contrast, come off as annoying.
Yokozawa definitely saw himself as the ‘too meddlesome’ type, and thinking back on things he’d said and done in the heat of the moment after calming down, he often found himself unbearably irritating. As such, he’d started forcing himself to take a moment to breathe before acting.
Still, though, he likely often went overboard–with Kirishima’s forgiving nature his only saving grace. Granted, the man himself had similar tendencies, so it was just as likely he felt himself in no position to judge Yokozawa–in that sense, they suited each other quite nicely; a mended lid for a cracked pot, as it were.
“You sure are mature, Yokozawa-san. You know who you are–you never get knocked off-course. You’ve more than earned my respect.”
“Oh hardly–I’ve still got quite a long ways to go. This is all a frantically placed mask.” At his own words, though, he recalled what Kirishima had said–how the side he showed the world was only skin-deep–and smiled inwardly that they’d wound up saying similar things.
“Really?”
“People used to be quite intimidated by me because of how often I raised my voice; you’re much more suited for sales, given your gentle manner.” He couldn’t help the wry smile that rose to his lips as he recalled his attitude until fairly recently.
After enduring Kirishima’s lecture, he’d started to be more conscious of his attitude around others, and while he did still occasionally fly off the handle and yell at some unfortunate coworker, he now always made sure to follow-up properly afterward. There’d been worry initially that he had come down with a fever or some horrific illness, but his workplace interactions had started to go a lot more smoothly with only a few extra words. The atmosphere around him had changed as well, and even his sales figures had improved.
Yokozawa had always assumed that motivation was something he had to create himself–so he’d been shocked at the changes around him. The fact that he’d never realized the true source of motivation, instead focusing on pure ability, was evidence of how truly naive he’d been.
“You think…? My sempai at work always tells me that I’m persistent–but not forceful enough…”
“Rather than forcing yourself to do something you’re not used to, why not just focus on improving what you’re already good at?”
“Something I’m already good at, huh… But, I’m afraid I don’t quite know what that is.”
“Then just make a goal for yourself–’I want to be like this‘. You could model yourself after your ideal person, if you’ve got one.” While he wouldn’t call Kirishima his goal, per se, Yokozawa did often reference the way he comported himself around the office. Despite his immature nature, the way he directed his subordinates and the way he could shift seamlessly from one subject to the next was something Yokozawa felt he could learn a lot from.
Kirishima never let any difficulties or failures get him down; he used these stumbling blocks instead to leap forward, turning it to his advantage. It was amazing. Granted, if he ever said such things to Kirishima himself, the guy would undoubtedly let it go to his head, and so to avoid such a situation, Yokozawa had resolved to never let these thoughts pass his lips.
“…Then, I’ll make you my goal, Yokozawa-san.”
“Huh? Wait–no, I’m hardly anything special.” He’d never expected his own name to be offered here, and he grew flustered at the response from left field. If he’d been Kirishima, this would have probably been the point where he said something witty like Go for it; mimic me all you can!, but Yokozawa had nowhere near the self-confidence to do so.
Naturally he had some degree of confidence in his work, but he was far from ready to be anyone’s measuring stick. The way he poured his whole self into his job was probably evidence enough of how lacking in confidence he was.
What he lacked in ability, he had no choice but to make up for with hard work–and while he still might never quite make it to the level he’d like to be at, floundering in vain hope was all he could really do.
“You’re far too modest, Yokozawa-san. Though I suppose that’s just another one of your more attractive features.”
“Th–thanks…” His voice cracked at the compliment as he struggled for a response–why was Iokawa’s gaze making him feel so uncomfortable right now…?
“Umm…there’s actually something I’ve been meaning to ask…do you mind?”
“I…suppose not, so long as it’s something I can answer.” He would have agreed to just about anything now if it meant changing the subject–but his blood ran cold at the question that followed.
“You and Kirishima-san are dating, aren’t you?”
“……” Words caught in Yokozawa’s throat at the utterly unexpected question, but falling silent here was akin to agreement.
“I kind of got the feeling–but when Kirishima-san came to find you in the park the other day, that sealed it for me.”
“W–no, that was…”
“Anyone would have realized, seeing how clearly jealous he was! You could tell he freaked out and charged in, guns blazing.”
“———” At a loss for words, Yokozawa remained silent–which only encouraged Iokawa to continued his one-sided conversation.
“You remember how I got dumped by my girlfriend? I might have still had a chance with her if I’d chased her down. But I didn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to.”
It had been sheer coincidence that Yokozawa had found himself present during Iokawa’s breakup. While he’d been able to keep his wits about him, it was clear to anyone that he’d been utterly thrown by the situation.
“It was fun being around her, and we got along fairly well–but I think I was just doing it out of a sense of duty… Looking back, I’m not even sure I was going out with her because I actually liked her…”
Iokawa’s words sent a shudder of unease through Yokozawa. “…So what are you trying to say?” He was starting to get a bad feeling.
He jolted, realizing that the grin had faded from the ever-upbeat Iokawa’s features, and he flinched at the intent gaze fixed upon him–until Iokawa quickly relaxed into his usual gentle smile. “I’m saying that it was only after meeting you that I realized all of that.”
“Me?”
“You’ve been on my mind, ever since that evening when I got dumped. I’d thought it so strange how I couldn’t stop thinking about you…and then I realized what I was feeling after seeing how jealous Kirishima-san was. I think I’m in love with you.”
“………” He’d started to get the feeling this confession was coming–but on hearing it finally delivered, he could do nothing but gape stupidly. Kirishima had been wary of Iokawa, but Yokozawa had never seriously thought–until today at least–that Iokawa might actually harbor those kinds of feelings for him.
Without even asking, it was clear he meant romantic love–he wasn’t so thick as to mistake Iokawa’s confession for anything else. But he still couldn’t bring himself to just accept that this was happening to him, and while he forced his features to remain cool and even, inside he had descended into outright panic. He knew he needed to say something, but nothing came to mind, he couldn’t–
“–?! What the fuck are you doing?!” The strange sensation of lips brushing over his own brought Yokozawa back to his senses, and he quickly shoved Iokawa away, wiping at his lips with his sleeve.
“I simply thought this might be an easier way to explain my feelings.”
Yokozawa could only gape in shock at the nonchalant response, delivered with Iokawa’s usual mild expression. Having missed the chance to blow up at the man, he groped for words. “Okay, listen here…”
“If I didn’t try something like that, you never would have noticed me, would you?”
“Hey–” Yet another casual explanation, and Yokozawa struggled for words; it seemed Iokawa had a rather shameless side to him after all.
“Yokozawa-san, please go out with me.”
He forced himself to calm down with a few deep breaths, working to keep an even keep, and opened his mouth to respond. “Sorry–but I’m afraid I can’t return your feelings.” He didn’t even need to consider the proposition; this was the only answer he could give.
“Because you have Kirishima-san?”
“…Yeah.” There was no point in trying to hide their relationship any more. If he was going to maintain that he couldn’t return Iokawa’s feelings, he at least owed the man the truth as to why.
“I know I could never hope to compare with Kirishima-san. He’s cool, there’s no arguing about it, and he’s great at his job. But–I’m a bachelor, free to do as I please. I’m totally free from baggage.
“Huh?” He froze at Iokawa’s pitch–and not because he’d been successfully seduced, but because of that word: baggage.
“Earlier, you said you were ‘perfectly content’ being able to be with the person you care for–but did you realize how worried your expression was when you said that?”
“!!”
“Ah–I supposed not. You’re the type to put your own thoughts and feelings last, after all.” He wanted to snap at Iokawa to mind his own business, but he swallowed his words. If he opened his mouth here, he’d very likely say something he would regret. His silence, though, only spurred Iokawa into growing more chatty.
“You’re content–that means you’ve given up, you realize?”
“That’s not what I–” But he couldn’t entirely refute the accusation–because Iokawa’s words had struck a chord within Yokozawa’s chest. He couldn’t deny that, somewhere deep down, he might have actually been harboring such feelings.
“See? You can’t deny it–because you do feel some uncertainty. You have to practice restraint because Kirishima-san has Hiyori-chan, right?”
“Wha…”
“I can understand your feelings–she’s the most important thing to Kirishima-san. I’m sure you care for her as well, so it’s only natural you should put her needs above your own. Plus–do you actually think you’ll be able to be with Kirishima-san so openly once she starts to get older?”
He could manage no response to Iokawa’s verbal barrage. While he’d never once thought of Hiyori as any kind of hindrance, he’d be lying if he claimed he hadn’t prepared himself to take his leave just in case. It was just a shock…that Iokawa had so clearly seen this.
“I…” He had to respond somehow. But as he opened his mouth–the speaker in the elevator crackled to life.
“Our sincerest apologies for the wait! We’ve completed repairs, so we’ll restart the elevator now! The lights will dim for a moment, but they’ll come right back on, so please don’t worry.”
“Thank you.” Following their response, the lights flickered out, as warned. “Thank goodness–that was quicker than I imagined.”
“Y–yeah…”
“Not that I would have minded getting to spend a little more time alone with you.”
In sync with Iokawa’s suggestive words, though, the lights flared back to life, and the elevator began to move–and Yokozawa bid silent thanks to the elevator for the distraction, as he’d been unable to find words to respond.
They quickly reached the first floor, and the doors opened as usual–revealing the building manager as well as the repair service representatives, waiting for the two of them with worried expressions. “Are you all right?!”
“Please accept our sincerest apologies for this incident!”
“Not at all–we’re just glad you were able to come so quickly.” A quick glance at the time revealed they’d been trapped for just under an hour–though it had felt like longer to Yokozawa, likely because he’d been alone with Iokawa the whole time. That had been a rather heavy conversation to endure with nowhere to run.
However, while he had rejected Iokawa verbally…the man didn’t seem like he’d quite accepted it. He’d probably need to reiterate his feelings a bit more forcefully at a later date.
Even if he acknowledged that Iokawa did have a point–there was no way Yokozawa was ever going to choose him. He simply needed to take care of this before Kirishima found out–
“Well that was a nice little disaster; must’ve taken a lot out of you.”
The building manager and repairmen hadn’t been the only ones waiting for service to be restored, it seemed, and when Yokozawa glanced to where the voice had come from, he saw Kirishima relaxing against a wall. “What are you doing here…?”
“I came after you thinking I might offer to give you a lift, then I waited down here after I saw the elevator wasn’t working. Didn’t you see my texts?”
“Oh–sorry, I didn’t realize…” The reception had been terrible inside the elevator, but besides that, he hadn’t exactly been in a position where he could have checked for new messages. He’d been at his wits’ end just trying to respond to Iokawa’s brazen confession.
But while he’d held off contacting Kirishima in an effort not to worry him or Hiyori, it seemed his efforts had had the opposite effect.
“Well, at least you’re safe–though I can’t believe you wound up stuck in there with him.”
He froze at Kirishima’s words; their conversation shouldn’t have been audible to anyone outside the elevator. “We just happened to be riding down together.” But then again–he had nothing to be ashamed of; sure, it would’ve been embarrassing to have others bear witness to their conversation, but he could be frank with Kirishima about it and bear no repercussions.
“Yokozawa-san–I’ll be taking my leave now. It was wonderful having such a nice long chat with you.” With a polite little dip of his head, Iokawa disappeared.
“Ah–wai–” Yokozawa called out, worried that his rejection from earlier hadn’t been enough to put Iokawa off entirely, but on realizing theirs was hardly a conversation they could continue in public, he swallowed his words and let his outstretched hand fall back to his side, leaving him with ill at ease.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” What else could he say, after all? He’d explained his feelings to Iokawa–he just wasn’t sure the guy had accepted those feelings.
What exactly did he see in Yokozawa, anyway? He knew fully well he wasn’t the type people usually fell for–and he could count the number of times they’d spoken on one hand. But while he knew there was no way he was ever going to understand what swayed someone else’s heart when he couldn’t even properly understand his own feelings, it was probably human nature to search for a reason he could accept.
“Well, shall we get going?”
“Huh? ‘Get going’…? What about Hiyo?”
“She’s watching the apartment–got a friend coming over, apparently to do some homework. My mom’s dropping by later, and I’ve told her I’ll be back by dinner, so we’re golden.”
“But–wait…”
“What now? Don’t want me seeing you home?”
“That’s not what I–”
“C’mon, let’s hit the road. You’ve got work to catch up on, right?”
And unable to abandon Kirishima as he set off for the garage, Yokozawa at last followed dutifully behind.
To be continued…