2016-10-21

A rabid Hillary Clinton supporter is in now jail after a failed attempt to attack a Donald Trump rally.

Unfortunately for Amherst Junction, Wisconsin liberal Christina Ferguson, she was so drunk what she attacked was actually a local environmentalist event.

And she was armed only with a jar of all-natural peanut butter.

The hilariously inept episode of liberal rage started at 9:30 p.m., when Ferguson barged into a meeting of the Tomorrow River Conservation Club, a local environmentalist group.

Witness tell police Ferguson began screaming about how much she hated Donald Trump.

According to the Portage County Sheriff Department’s report, she was holding a “family-size jar of low-sodium, creamy natural Jif.”

She was asked to leave the meeting, but attendees decided to check the parking lot to “make sure she wasn’t doing anything to their vehicles after leaving,” the Independent reports.

They found Ferguson smearing peanut butter on cars, still convinced she was seeing Trump supporters. When caught, she stumbled to a nearby apartment complex.

In all she smeared 30 cars.

“Fortunately it wasn’t chunky peanut butter, so vehicles didn’t get scratched,” Chief Deputy Dan Kontos tells the local Stevens Point City Times

The group called the sheriff’s department, who found Ferguson at her apartment.

She denied ever being at the meeting, or ever leaving her apartment.

But she also had a blood alcohol level of .218.

And she was still licking peanut butter off her fingers.

Ferguson eventually admitted to the crime, saying she had been drinking beer and blackberry brandy and telling deputies “how much she loved Hillary Clinton and hated Donald Trump.”

“Peanut buttering is better than firebombing, and Trump plans on firebombing everybody in other countries,” she told deputies, apparently unaware of the long list of countries Clinton has bombed.

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