Bizarre deaths were in no short supply in 2012. All through the year people were finding weird, crazy, unbelievable ways to die and these are the best/worst of the bunch. This list of the craziest deaths of the year includes bizarre instances in the US, UK, Brazil, China, Japan, and everywhere in between. No insane way to die has been left out of this list, so read on to find out why your year, no matter how bad, was better than some.
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Man Dies After Being Fused with Chair for Two Years
It's hard to say what's worst about the case of an Ohio man who sat in the same chair for two years without moving: that he had two roommates who lived with him, fed him daily, and allowed him to be completely sedentary in their home, or that after two years of sitting in the same chair, the man became fused to the fabric of the seat- which was covered in his own urine and feces- to the point of maggots sprouting around the guy before he was dead.
The absurd living situation was exposed one day when one of the roommates, who happened to be the man's GIRLFRIEND, came home to find the man unconscious. When officers arrived, they found the man in deplorable conditions and had him immediately transported to the hospital, where he later died.
One of the officers who responded to the call was so disgusted by the scene that he had to dispose of his uniform after helping the man from the house.
Source: Fox News
Man is Killed, Dismembered, and Sent to Local Schools
When Jun Lin said he wanted to go back to school, he probably didn't envision it this way.
Lin, a Chinese university student, was murdered and dismembered by adult film actor Luka Magnotta (his reported lover), who sent boxes containing different parts of Lin to politicians in Ottawa and to two schools in Vancouver.
The body parts were put together with Lin's murder when police found his severed head in a Montreal Park.
Magnotta fled from Canada after the murders, but he was picked up in an internet cafe in Berlin, Germany where he was Googling articles about himself.
Source: CNN
Woman's Kung Fu Grip to Blame in Testicle-Related Death
Since the following death occurred in China's haiku city, here are three lines about this man's death:
No, you can't park here
Hey, those are my balls. Hands off
Grip like vice, I'm dead
Here's how it went down: this woman drives into the city to pick her kids up from school and tries to park her scooter (yes, she was going to put multiple children on a scooter. Totes nominated for http://www.ranker.com/list/worst-parents-of-2012/danielle-dauenhauer">worst parent) in front of a man's shop. The man says no, you can't park here, they fight a little, she calls her brother and husband to join her in the dispute, things escalate further, and when she realizes he's not going to allow the scooter to stay,
she grabs the man's testicles and squeezes them until he passes out.
The man was taken away by ambulance but later died in the hospital.
Source: Huffington Post
Three People Fight to the Death in Karaoke Dispute
"Ugh, I swear to god, if I hear one more person sing Journey tonight, I am gonna kill someone."
Next up on the mic is Barry with "Don't Stop Believing"!
"Oh, that's it, I'ma stab a bitch."
Stabbing someone for a poor choice at karaoke? Too much? Not in Xi'an China.
On Qixi, the Chinese Valentine's Day, a noodle shop owned by a man called Mr. Yun was the site of a double murder over control of the microphone in what was intended to be a light-hearted night of crooning with his family.
Yun's 4-year-old son was on the stage, belting out tunes and refusing to give the other attendees a turn to sing. Yun was indulging the child, who the other party-goers were calling a "little emperor" (a reference to Chinese parents' special attention to the one child they're allowed to have per Chinese law) and getting increasingly agitated with the situation.
Rather than gong him off the stage, which many of the finer American karaoke bars will do when a patron is insufferable, two of the young boy's uncles attacked Yun, kicking him mercilessly until he was on the ground, unable to fight them off.
In the midst of the fracas Yun's nephew, who worked at the shop, picked up not the mic, but A MEAT CLEAVER and hacked the two men attacking his uncle to death.
Next time maybe the rest of the family will be smart enough to just walk across the street and rent a booth when the "little emperor" of the family can't sing enough Bieber.
Source: The Telegraph
Hair Extensions Kill Woman
Next time you're getting ready to go out to the club for the night remember this very important wardrobe fact:
Picking the wrong accessories could kill you.
34-year-old Atasha Graham went out for a night of dancing in London at the club her boyfriend DJ'ed at. She had some drinks, got on the dance floor, and got her groove on. Several hours in, Graham was sweating up a storm, but still carrying on until she collapsed out of the blue in the middle of the floor. She hadn't had too much to drink, wasn't in bad health, so what was it that did her in?
Her hair extensions.
All attempts to revive Graham failed and she was pronounced dead shortly after collapsing in the club, prompting an autopsy that revealed latex glue from her hair extensions had seeped into the woman's scalp, causing a reaction that led to her death. As if that's not shocking enough, the doctor that performed the autopsy said there are 10-20 deaths of this nature in the UK every year, and many more in America.
So next time you go out dancing, unless you're trying to attract some real freaks, maybe leave the hair extensions at home.
Source: Voice UK
Three Drown in Manure Filled Septic Pit
What a sh*tty way to die. Literally.
Glen Nolt and his two sons, Kelvin and Cleason, were out seeking to procure some fertilizer for their farm when their mission ran afoul at the site of giant manure pit on a Maryland dairy farm. It's unclear exactly what happened, but the story that was pieced together in the aftermath goes something like this:
The men were out to suck some manure from this pit for their own pit and when one of the three was setting a pumping device in the giant vat, he unexpectedly fell in. The other two rushed to the rescue, became trapped in the vat themselves, and were unable to escape. The three drowned a giant vat of poop. No sh*t, true story. This actually happened.
So next time you're having a crappy day, you can think how much better you have it than the Nolts.
Source: Huffington Post
Man Dies After Live Cockroach Eating Contest
If you're Bear Grylls and you're in some rain forest trying to survive on nothing but the land and your own recycled piss, maybe eating some live cockroaches isn't such a bad idea. If you're some random guy in Miami, though, not so much.
Edward Archbold was 32 when he decided to enter a pet store's live bug eating competition. On the menu for the contest: worms and live cockroaches. Archbold bested about 30 other contestants and won the competition's grand prize, a python.
Sadly, the roaches were apparently not satisfied to be the only ones losing their life in this bizarre contest, and wreaked some kind of havoc in Archbold's stomach. While all of the other contestants went seemingly unaffected by the ingestion of the strange contest fare, the winner collapsed in front of the store and could not be revived at the hospital.
Maybe next time, if people are thinking about having a contest involving eating foods that will survive a nuclear holocaust, they'll choose Twinkies instead.
Source: Yahoo!
Man Cooked to Death at Bumble Bee Tuna Factory
Jose Melena had been working at the Bumble Bee Tuna plant in Santa Fe Springs, CA for six years when his on-the-job satisfaction took a monumental turn for the worse one afternoon in October.
Melena's job at the seafood processing plant was to load baskets of canned product into the pressure cooker and remove them with a pallet jack when they had finished processing. At some point during the transfer process, Melena became trapped in the container and was cooked to death.
Upon discovering Melena was in the steamer machine, emergency personnel were summoned, but the man could not be saved.
Source: KTLA Los Angeles
Man Shot Dead Trying to Cure Hiccups
Known ways to cure the hiccups: holding breath, drinking a glass of water, punching the afflicted person in the stomach, shooting the afflicted in the face.
Wait, that last one sounds a little extreme; does it really work? As a matter of fact, it does (mostly because getting shot in the face kills you, but maybe it also really freaks you out and cure the hiccups before you die).
Sadly, Pfc Isaac Lawrence Young was the unwitting guinea pig for that “shot in the face” theory recently when a fellow soldier stationed at Ft. Hood in Texas pulled out a gun, just to scare the hiccups away, and ended up discharging the weapon in the general direction of Young’s face.
The incident went down in the men’s living room where they, and a third soldier, were watching Sunday night football and drinking. Pfc. Patrick Edward Myers, who was probably a little overly-excited after seeing both Texas teams win their games earlier in the day, took out a handgun to help Young triumph over his temporary affliction, but ended up killing him before he could be transported to a nearby field where a helicopter was waiting to take him to a trauma hospital.
Myers is currently awaiting trial for manslaughter.
Man Tweets YOLO to Drunk Driving, Dies in Crash
Now, we all know that when looking for a credible, reliable source on topics like life and philosophy, we should turn to the nearest rapper and ask his advice. If you had asked aspiring rapper Ervin McKinness for his advice on the topic of driving while drunk, he would have told you “Definitely a bad idea, son. Designated drivers are your keys to big pimpin’”.
Ok, he would never have said that. Had you Tweeted that same question to him, though, you would have seen this take on the topic:
You had half a bottle of Henny and you have to get across town? #F**kIt, son! What’s the worst that could happen drifting 120 MPH around corners?
Oh, right. Death. Death could happen.
McKinness, known as Jew'elz and Inkyy in the music community that had recently awarded him a recording deal, never got a chance to make any music professionally because 21 minutes after he said “f**k it” to driving drunk, the SUV he was in skidded into a wall and killed all five of the car’s occupants, including the would-be rapper.
Maybe YOLTM (You Only Live Twenty Minutes) would have been a more appropriate hashtag?