Often times, you will hear older women talk of the joys of having your children close together. "They will get along better the closer they are together." I've heard many say that three years apart is perfect! But, there are things that they don't tell you about pregnancy with a toddler. Oh my, oh my! Here's the things they won't tell you about the hardships of having kids close together. So, if you're thinking of getting pregnant while you still have a toddler running around, please read this first. (Stay tuned, I'm sure I'll have another one as the kids grow up together).
You will envy first time moms. You will look at your toddler running around like a wild banchee while your eyes are begging you to close and you will. You will envy first time moms who can take a nap whenever the urge strikes them. You will want to slap them for wishing any single solitary moment away in excitement for meeting their new little one. You will try to tell these moms to adore their sleep and cherish the freedom they have to do so at the whim of their choice. But, they will not listen.
You will begin to think your toddler is psychic. Can she really sense that you have no energy when she feels that she ABSOLUTELY requires your immediate assistance or wants you to run laps around the house with her? Can she sense that you just sat down to eat the first meal of the day at2 pm and then MUST have a snack or meal, even if she just ate? Can she sense that you really just want to lie down on the couch and relax when she decides that she must go potty for the third time in the last hour? Yes. Yes, she can. And your toddler will ask you for things, everything, when you have no energy or wits end left. She will push you past what your pregnant body ever thought capable. However, when you have energy and got comfortable enough to sleep the night before, she will be a perfect angel and will entertain herself all day without the first whine, complaint, or demand. Shit happens.
Your belly will become the newest attraction at theme park/jungle gym mommy. Yes, I've been kicked, bowed, body slammed, and even used as a pillow as my belly gets bigger with this pregnancy and my dear, dear daughter believes it's the newest and greatest ride or attraction at theme-park-mommy. She believes it's a pillow. She believes it will bounce if she tries to jump on it. She doesn't seem to comprehend the fact that there is, indeed, a living being in that small space who really doesn't like to be body slammed. I keep praying that the child will not have 10 million birth marks due to his big sister's curiosity of the grand new jungle gym ride.
No sympathy. While you may be able to get loads of sympathy from family and friends for your latest pregnancy endeavor, your toddler will not join in this sympathy. Friends and family may say, "Oh, you poor thing, you." But, your toddler will not. In fact, your toddler will not care how bad mommy feels or how much energy you're lacking. They want their cookie and they want it now! And there better not be any excuses! Your toddler will have a "No Tolerance" rule and pregnancy is not an extenuating circumstance!
This pregnancy will feel 10 times harder and worse than your first! That's a guarantee. And you won't be able to tell if it's because "all pregnancies are different" or if it's because your mischievous toddler is running you ragged, won't let you stop to eat, and won't let you pee or throw up in peace. No, you will never know. But, you can bet you will feel 10 times more tired and awful and you will never know if it's because of your pregnancy or just the feats of raising a toddler while pregnant!
Your toddler will cling to you for dear life...ALL. NINE. MONTHS! Something weird is going on. Your toddler who may have already been clinging to you these days will now not let you breathe in peace. Why, you wonder? You're growing belly has them in a tizzy! They don't understand it. You keep saying there's going to be a new baby. This scares them. They don't want to lose you. They can tell something is different with your body and they feel they're going to lose you forever. Therefore, you cannot walk out of the room without telling them where you are going. God forbid you do, then you have a toddler screaming bloody murder running through the house screaming, "Mommy! Mommy!" It's not pleasant. Never, I repeat, never try to sneak away. They will find you! And even Daddy is no longer allowed to love on Mommy, or else your toddler feels there will not be enough love to go around. So, mommy and daddy must stay 10 feet apart at all times.
Your toddler will regress. This will get worse once baby is actually here, so I've been told. But, your toddler won't wait for the new baby to get here before deciding that they, too, are a big baby. They forget how to use the potty, they want bottles, they just want to be the baby, again. They will argue with you like you've never seen when you try to explain that they are big girls/boys. "No, I'm a baby, I wear diapers, I drink bottles" Oh dear...Oh dear...Those pull ups that you were almost through with will, yet again, become a normal part of your monthly budget as your big girl tries desperately to be the baby, again. You will lose a little sanity each day as you slowly start to realize you're going to have two in diapers when the new baby arrives. So much for all that hard work...Cha-ching! Cha-ching! Good bye money....
You will share tantrums. Yes, there will be moments when your significant other can't tell who is the toddler and the adult. You and your toddler will both be crying. She's crying because she really wants that blue teddy bear that you've searched the house for high and low for over 2 hours and now you're hurting and she's demanding the bear before she'll even think of sleeping for the night. You just want to sit down and get off your aching feet, ease your breaking back, and calm your frazzled nerves. But, no, she will not have it. Like I said, no sympathy. So, you will listen to her scream bloody murder for 30 minutes and eventually, without realizing it, you will be crying yourself...possibly in a corner somewhere, rocking back and forth, mumbling words no one can make out. Hormones, the beautiful glory of hormones! Eventually, your toddler will stop crying and come to rescue you and say, "Don't cry, mommy." And you will feel like you are the toddler and they are the mommy coming to rescue and comfort you. You will look back on this later in the night and feel silly at best.
Yes, this is the joy of having a toddler and being pregnant. It will not all be bad. My daughter enjoys kissing my belly and telling her baby brother that she loves him and that he's her best friend ever. There have been times where she has let me nap for a short period and I was forever grateful. There have been a lot of good times during this pregnancy. However, there have been a lot of really stressful times that normally happen more often than the good. But, this is the journey you choose when you choose to "have your kids close together"
Have kids close together, they said.
It will be fun, they said...