As with most new technology I was pretty late in joining the whole Android party – partly because I’m a creature of habit and it took nearly 18 months for me to rack my brain around the idea of a phone without real buttons and partly because some flashy salesman with gold teeth and no soul convinced me to sign a 36 month contract on an old blackberry which, as it turned out, I only managed to get out of by getting mugged on the way home at daft o’clock in the morning.
Back to the point, joining the smartphone club is great. For a start I feel like a real human being of the 21st century now that I finally know what Instagram is, not to mention the fact that my career as a Professional Pub Quizzisist (it’s a thing) is looking much more promising now that I have Google at the touch of a (not actually real) button.
On the other hand, having constant access to the internet, cameras and more apps than you know what to do with can be a dangerous little game. For one, unlike when I was an 18 year old, it’s no longer just a case of checking your sent messages after a night out and breathing a sigh of relief to find you haven’t made contact with any wronguns – teenagers today spend the first 30 minutes of a blinding hangover checking every possible form of social media to see what they may or may not have drunkenly uploaded.
So today I’m going to highlight a few dangers that come hand in hand with some of the most popular smartphone apps.
Facebook
Besides the fact that Facebook is home to every head-case with access to the internet, (which incidentally, I’ve already had a rant about) my main problem with using the Facebook app lies in the touchscreen nature of smartphones. There is no panic quite like the one after accidentally liking someone’s photo from ages ago whilst knee-deep in a Facebook stalk – and my calculations suggest that touchscreens increase the risk by at least 70%. I mean, just the other day my puppy jumped on me and accidentally ‘liked’ the status of someone I haven’t seen since high school. Yeah, my puppy.
Twitter
I love Twitter. Love it. It’s not only given me the chance to connect with some absolutely brilliant people from around the world, but it also saves me shouting every inane thought I have at my fella all day and night. The problem with using Twitter on my phone is more to do with the fact I am the world’s worst drunk-tweeter. A word of advice to the rest of your drunk-tweeters out there, sending inappropriate song lyrics to celebrities is all fun and games, until someone ends up on the front page of the Daily Mail.
(@ScarletWLand for those of you who haven’t yet joined the party)
Instagram
Like the rest of the population, I use Instagram to make myself look browner, skinnier and generally hotter. I also use Instagram to crop my pictures and turn them the right way round… so when I was worried my dog had fleas last week, I took a photo to send to my flea-specialist mum. Considering the dog was wriggling round like a water-snake while I was doing it, I had to get artistic with the Instagram filters so she could get a good look… which, of course, ended up by me accidentally putting a close-up picture of a flea onto my Instagram feed for a good four hours. Which, before the inevitable deletion, got 10 likes – proving once more that ‘Sepia’ can make absolutely anything attractive.
(If you don’t believe me about the Sepia thing, you can follow me on Instagram here)
SnapChat
There are two uses for SnapChat; sending your friends pictures of how ugly you can make yourself and naughty pictures to people you don’t trust enough not to show other people them. Infact, had the SnapChat creators walked into Dragon’s Den, their entire pitch would have been; “Y’no, dick pics!” So, and this one should be the obvious danger with SnapChat but I’m going to say it anyway, if you can only send rude pictures to someone for 3 seconds because you don’t trust them not to show someone else, they probably don’t deserve to see them.
Pet Rescue
It’s like Candy Crush but so much better. Go and download it now… and say goodbye to your social life.
Until next time… x
The post Smartphone Problems appeared first on www.scarletwonderland.com.