josiedaily:
Since Chuck has been on Netflix, I’ve seen a lot of reactions of fans watching the finale for the first time. Most of what I’ve seen has been positive, with many just wishing for more adventures with the characters. The next biggest reaction I’ve noticed are the fans who didn’t like the ending, but also didn’t hate it, and again are wishing for more. And the reason for me writing this piece is the most vocal fans who in my opinion, do not make up the majority, but are the loudest in proclaiming how awful the ending was. I’m not sure there is an accurate way to gauge just how many fans hated the ending to the point of proclaiming the show a “waste of time”, or saying the writers “killed Sarah” or that they intended it to be a “fuck you” to the fans. I do know, as many of you do, by being a member of various fandoms since the days of dial-up AOL and message boards that most of the time people would rather post about something they hated, than post about something they liked.
So, where am I going with all of this? It’s hard for me to explain. Since about midway through last year, I’ve wanted to write something like this. I’ll call it an opinion piece of sorts, since it really is just how I feel, but I wanted to help put a perspective on the ending that I haven’t seen out there. A way to give some perspective to those who feel like the show punched them in the face and wasted their time, or to those who have changed their minds, or those who still don’t know how to feel.
First let me give you some back story. I am what you would consider an insanely die-hard Chuck fan. I’ve been to the con panels, Chuckfest, WB tours, fan parties, meet and greets, and even had the amazing pleasure of chatting with most all of the cast, writers, and creators. I’ve won Chuck trivia contests. I devoted 2 years to a Chuck podcast. I’ve been the most annoying person everyone around me knows because since the show started airing I’ve been trying to convince them to watch. Chuck is my be-all, end-all show. I love it so much it’s scary. I still love it that much 2 years after it ended.
On the night of the finale, I was so incredibly sick to my stomach with anticipation. I told myself over and over that Sarah was going to be okay; her memories would return and she and Chuck would live happily ever after. As Chuck vs. the Goodbye played, I kept looking at the clock. As soon as I saw the shot of Sarah on the beach and the clock reading 9:58, I knew that she wasn’t going to get her memories back. The entire rest of that scene was just a blur of me breaking down. After it ended, the friends I was watching it with started saying how much they loved the finale. I just cried and said how I couldn’t believe this was happening. How could they do this? They tried to tell me some of what I’ll tell you all later on in this piece. She remembered the cups, the carving, Irene Demova! She will remember! I sat there and cried on my friend’s couch for a good hour afterwards until I finally realized I should go. I came home and tried rewatching again, looking for what they saw that I obviously didn’t. I couldn’t even finish. I was sobbing. I literally could not sleep that night. Or the next day. I cried, and cried, and cried. My heart wouldn’t stop pounding and I couldn’t calm down. By Sunday I was such a mess I had to take a Valium so I could just relax and fall asleep without crying. Yes, it was that bad. It was so bad I had to call in sick to work on Monday because I was still so distraught. I probably had the most visceral, awful, drastic reaction to the finale as any fan I’ve ever known.
After reading some interviews with Fedak and the cast, as well as lots of overwhelmingly positive critic reviews, I still wasn’t there. I still just wanted to know why. The friends I had watched the finale with were tired of trying to make me feel better about it, so I just tried to forget about my favorite show for a while. It worked for a few months, but during that time some of my co-workers who had been catching up started to finish the series. Even though the wound was still a little fresh, I asked how they liked the finale, and then how they liked the show as a whole. I expected what I had seen from myself and the fans online, but what I got surprised me. None of them felt that way. They all liked it. It was described to me as being ballsy, unexpected, beautiful, and hopeful. I had to pry further and figure this out. Far removed from the expectations of the fandom, it seemed that what I believe now is the true intent of the finale was being seen.
She started to remember things, they told me. Sarah would have never found her way to beach, asked Chuck to tell her their story, and then asked him to kiss her if she wasn’t feeling something. She was connecting with him again, and it was coming back. No, it wasn’t spelled out, but it was enough. And it was hopeful. If they really, truly intended for Sarah to not remember, then why did she remember anything at all? Something as dumb as how the Weinerlicious cups were stacked, to something as important and RECENT as carving their names in the door. Why not just have her be assassin, emotionless, pre-season 1 Sarah the entire episode? And then why did she leave and come back so many times? Why did she hesitate every time she was supposed to hurt Chuck? If the intent was for her to being wiped completely clean and leave to go be a spy again, why didn’t they just do that? Couldn’t she have easily left Castle after saying she needed to find herself and hopped a plane? If that was the true intent of this finale, then why didn’t it happen? That’s the question I asked myself over and over. And I couldn’t come up with an answer, because it was already in the episode. She started to remember and she didn’t leave. That doesn’t seem like the type of thing that point toward Chuck and Sarah being over.
If some fans felt betrayed because of how it ended, then that’s too bad. But we can’t take ownership of the show just because we supported it. You support and fight for something because you love it, not because it gives you everything you want. This show was Fedak’s. He created it. He ended it in a way that I’m still convinced was to give it life beyond those 91 episodes. I’ve met this guy and he’s extremely smart. He knows what he’s doing. And he also prefers open-ended endings, which is his choice, not ours. We bought the Chuck product because we loved it. I think many of us put our own expectations of what we thought ending should be, and that is perhaps why those of us Charah shippers who wanted the house and the baby and the dog, were the most upset. Back in those last few episodes of season 2 I never thought I’d see Chuck’s mom. I never thought I’d see Chuck and Sarah get together, let alone get married and talk about babies. I never thought we’d see Casey’s back story, or learn why Sarah is the way she is. Or see Carina call Morgan the wrong name again. Maybe because the show up until the finale had checked off so many of those boxes, we felt that they should all be checked off. So where would the story be then? I don’t think that if Chuck and Sarah had walked into that red door at the end the entire fandom would be demanding a Chuck movie. And if they were, how creatively would Fedak achieve that?
Could there have been more in the finale for those of us who need it spelled out that she and Chuck will be ok? Yes. But was there enough? Yes.
Are fans entitled to their own opinions and still hate it? Yes.
Should we tell other new fans not to watch the show because some people hated the finale? No. That is an extreme disservice and assumption that everyone is going to hate it just because you do. Also they’d be missing out on everything we love about Chuck, even up to the finale.
Personally, even in my emotional turmoil two Januarys ago, I never thought the show was a waste of time, or that I should have never watched it. I would still do it all the same, because now I’m in a better place to truly respect what it was all about. I want a Chuck movie more than anyone, and I’m hoping the conversation about the finale keeps that dream alive. And I hope that it gets made for the right reasons. I want to see more adventures with Team Bartowski. I want Fedak to write it, with the possible help of some of his old writers. It’s his show, and it’s his show that I fell in love with.
I’ve only been able to watch clips of the finale since it aired, but every time I do, I see all the positive things everyone else has been saying. The tears that I shed now are only from sadness that the show is over, and the hope that it will someday continue.