There are some things about motherhood that nobody really tells you. Like even in the "What to Expect" books (which I read front to back), it never talks about "how to maintain friendships after you have a baby" or "how not to go crazy staying inside all day alone with your infant".
When the hubs and I decided that I would stay home and take care of Baker, I was thrilled. To be honest, I didn't particularly love my 9-5, and I wanted to be with my baby as much as I possibly could. I had visions of hanging out with the other stay at home moms in the neighborhood, laughing over silly things our kids did while chatting in the sunshine. I would finally be a part of that elite group I had longed to join for years!
Unfortunately, after I had Baker, I ended up with a pretty bad case of the baby blues which caused me to be an emotional wreck. I was crazy paranoid about going out with my baby, fearing that he'd get RSV and be lifeflighted to Primary Childrens Hospital (a fear planted in my brain by my pediatrician at Baker's 2 week checkup - thanks doc). I stayed cooped up in my house and slowly started getting delirious from cabin fever. It didn't help that Andrew was out of town frequently and the weather was crap, so I couldn't even go on a walk. I'm actually surprised my blog posts didn't start turning into something that looked like "inside all day make shan a dull girl..." repeated over and over again.
On top of that, some of my stay at home mommy friends that lived close were starting to move from the neighborhood. When I found out they were all moving in the same month, I broke down and had major anxiety. It's not like I didn't have any other friends with kids around me, but just having those two neighbors move sent me over the edge.
I started to get more an more lonely. I loved being at home with Baker, but I longed for and missed the adult connections I used to have. I tried to keep myself busy with projects, but there were times I just wanted to sit with a friend and chat in person. I found myself getting more and more depressed until one day I gave myself a slap in the face and said, "Snap out of it girl! You're fun, outgoing, and damn it, just because you have a baby now, doesn't mean you can't have a social life!!"
I decided that I needed to be the one to reach out to other moms in the area. I got on facebook and asked other moms in our area if they wanted to start a play group. I was thrilled with the response! I started calling other friends too - if I couldn't get out, a phone conversation was better than nothing at all!
A few days ago, my friend and I ran to Sonic for happy hour (1/2 price diet dr pepper? yes please!). We had to cut our hang out short because Baker started to get fussy and I didn't have my nursing cover, but just that little outting did wonders for my soul! She probably has no idea, but it meant a lot to me and lifted my spirits!
I still struggle with loneliness and feeling isolated, but it's getting better. Did or do any of you get lonely being a stay at home mom? How do you stay busy and connected, especially with an infant?
