2013-03-31



If a wrestling fan, or Vince McMahon himself, were to create a template of the perfect pro wrestler, a specimen who would turn heads at airports and in arenas, a man with talent on the mic, a man with a legitimate athletic background, that template would pale in comparison to Brock Lesnar.

Indeed, Brock is perhaps the greatest talent WWE has ever discovered.  A goliath with muscle on top of muscle, it is this authors opinion that no man has had a better "look" for the genre. Add into the fact that Lesnar was an outstanding NCAA amateur wrestler who won a NCAA D-1 wrestling title? Even better. For the man to leave wrestling and become a legitimate MMA badass? Even better.

"Death Clutch" is the autobiography of a man who has lived a life greater than anyone on this website can ever attain to. Unfortunately, people looking for a magnum opus on the life and career of this unique athlete will be disappointed. Its not that the book is actively bad or anything...its just that there isn't much here. Its 207 pages of whatever Lesnar deigns to tell you. I read this thing in about three hours, and was left with one general feeling: "I want more."

Lesnar relates the story of his growing up poor in South Dakota, born into a family of dairy farmers. Actually, he doesn't relate that story too much, as this book is like a video stuck in fast forward. What you do glean from the first 30 pages of the book is that it was Brock's mom who instilled in him the insatiable will to win. Her philosophy basically boiled down to "You don't like to lose? So DON'T LOSE." And young Brock soaked that message in from day one, becoming a wildly successful amateur wrestler in High School. He eventually landed at Bismarck State Junior College. It should be noted that Brock wasn't necessarily a dominant high school wrestler. He was damn good, don't get it twisted, but he had yet to grow into his body. He was a late bloomer. Once he grew into that mammoth frame and experienced some great successes at Bismarck, including a NJCAA national title, he was recruited to the University of Minnesota, under the tutelage of legendary wrestling coach J Robinson.

Lesnar, by now pretty much filling into the man we have seen on the television airwaves, had quite a successful career at U of M. As impressive as his eventual NCAA Heavyweight Wrestling title is, I would say the stories of his failures leading up to that moment more succinctly describe the measure of the man. Simply, the man lost a couple of times here and there, most famously to a wrestler named Stephan Neal, who would go on to his own greatness as an offensive lineman for the New England Patriots (and as a Pats fan, Neal was excellent).

Lesnar came to a career crossroads: What does a successful amateur wrestler do once college ends. There is always the Olympics, the Kurt Angle approach, but Lesnar wanted none of that. In what becomes a recurring theme in the book, Lesnar wanted what most humans desire: cash. Cold hard cash. And at that point, the WWE had lots of it. WWE offered Lesnar a large deal to join the then Federation, and Lesnar was hooked. He wanted to escape poverty. He wanted to provide for his parents. With that in mind, he journeyed off to Louisville, KT to begin his pro wrestling apprenticeship.

Lesnar spent about 15 months in OVW, where he teamed up with fellow U of M wrestling standout Shelton Benjamin. Talk about a talented tag team. But OVW was not where an accredited athlete of Brock's stature wanted to be. He wanted the bright lights and big cities. Luckily for him, Vince McMahon is a mark for big men. And Vince was ready to push Brock Lesnar to the moon.

Brock made his WWE debut the night after WrestleMania X-8. There, he made poor Spike Dudley into his plaything. Speaking as someone who remembers that debut, it was impressive. Brock was impressive. Unfortunately, the book skips over Brock dominating Spike and the Hardy Boyz. That seems to be an issue throughout the book here: Brock loses perspective, especially regarding the men who helped make him. Brock would have been a main eventer regardless of any efforts Spike Dudley or the Hardy's made to put him over based on look alone. We all know Vinnie Mac's proclivities. But it would be nice if Brock at least acknowledged them in this book. Nope. Not happening. Instead, Brock relays stories of looking around the WWE locker room and not wanting to be like any of the wrestling lifers he saw. Particularly Ric Flair. He respected these guys for their in ring achievements, but did not want to end up being a 40 or 50-something wrestling to chase that last elusive big payday, that big spot. I find that admirable. Listen, a lot of wrestlers end up chasing the dream way too long. They burn the candle at both ends, spend money like its never going to stop coming in, and in some extreme cases, destroy their bodies and destroy their lives. Lesnar wanted no part of that. He relates a story in the book of a conversation he had with Curt Hennig. Hennig told Brock maybe the best single piece of advice any aspiring wrestler can hear: "Get in to get out." Perfect. Its just a shame that perfect advice could not be followed by Mr. Perfect himself.

Brock ended up winning the WWE Undisputed Title from the Rock at SummerSlam 2002. That was a true passing of the torch moment. Once again, the book is lacking in descriptions for this monumental wrestling moment. Brock then went on to face Undertaker at the next two PPV's, including their notorious Hell in a Cell match. For my money, that is a top 5 cell match, just incredible, especially with the amounts of blood Undertaker shed. Those looking for insight into the Undertaker-Brock rivalry though? Nothing to see here. I guess Brock, much like Taker in their first meeting, just wasn't "feeling it."

Brock traveled the WWE landscape with Kurt Angle. But even from the beginning it wore on Brock. Soon, to counter the turbulent lifestyle and daily aches and pains, he was washing down massive amounts of vodka and vicodin. Not a healthy diet. Brock eventually met Angle in ring at WrestleMania XIX in the main event of the show. Agent Johnny Ace, new to WWE, wanted to make a statement and have Brock win the title with a WrestleMania moment. That would be a 300 pound shooting star press. Brock knew the move: he had performed it regularly in OVW. But it had been a while since he had done it. He practiced it a few times, nailed it, and the move was in for his main event showing versus Angle. Angle and Lesnar had a fantastic match, one I feel is a bit underrated by the online pundits. When it came time for that infamous Shooting Star, I think everyone reading this knows what happened. Lesnar says he slipped on a sweaty top rope and under rotated. Regardless, it was ugly. Brock, by all rights, should be in the Darren Drozdov wing of the hospital. I watched it live and almost shit my pants. It was as ugly a botch as you are likely to see, and it is a testament to the toughness of Lesnar that he was able to finish the match. Angle also deserves a lot of praise for that match, seeing that he was performing with a BROKEN FUCKING NECK and reportedly went into convulsions backstage directly following the match.

So Brock was off and running as a two time WWE Champion. Sounds great, right? Wrong. Brock began to self destruct right here. He hated the schedule. He hated the travel. He loved being in ring performing, but the rest of the lifestyle rapidly grew old for young Brock. He asked for some time off. Vince said there was too much invested in Brock. Brock bought his own plane. Still didn't help. The straw that broke the camel's back was Vince telling WWE Champ Brock to lose to the Rock on a house show in Miami. The chapter devoted to this scenario just comes across as stupid and petty. Miami, for the uninitiated, is Rock's hometown. Rock MADE Lesnar by jobbing clean in the middle to him at SummerSlam. Sure, Brock was WWE Champ at this point, but Brock's rationale here is just plain wrong. Sure, he was strung along by master manipulator Vince McMahon. But its a HOUSE SHOW NON TITLE match with a man who transcended wrestling. Its fucking ROCK. Giving Rock a payback win in his hometown over the guy who had unseated him as WWE Champ? That's wrestling in a nutshell. Brock eventually went along with the plan, but had his foot firmly planted outside of the WWE by this point.

Brock was soon defeated by Eddy Guerrero at No Way Out 2004 for the world title, in an effort to let Eddy help draw in that growing Latino market. Brock was bitter. Brock states in the book that, before his decision to leave wrestling, he was supposed to beat Goldberg at WM XX in 30 seconds. Well, with him now leaving, that wasn't the case. What resulted was a hilariously bad match at Mania ending with Steve Austin, the guest ref, standing tall over the two belligerent behemoths. Brock had a battery of lawyers to help him escape WWE, but, in his own vicodin and vodka fueled hastiness, he took a look at a release form sent to him by WWE, said "Fuck it" and signed it. What he didn't realize was that Vince McMahon is a spiteful bastard. The agreement included a non compete clause through the year 2010. Ouch.

So Brock was out, and he decided the NFL would be a worthy venture. He was slated to have a pro day for the scouts...only to ruin himself with a motorcycle accident days before the tryout. Rule #1 if you aspire to be a sports star: That motorcycle is not a good idea. Ask Jason Williams.

Brock was not pleased that WWE wielded a clause or law over his head that prevented him from earning a respectable living. He fought them tooth and nail, and the WWE lawyers kept delaying and delaying and delaying. Truly the essence of the American Legal System. Brock eventually was able to fight out from under these rulings and resume a wrestling career in NJPW.

In the midst of all this, Brock bedded and eventually married his girlfriend Rena Mero. Over and over again throughout the book, he cites her as inspiration in his career and declares his undying love for her. I will leave the reader to make their own jokes on this, but I sincerely believe she and Brock have a true relationship.

Brock eventually got into the world of MMA. I am not a huge MMA guy, so I am going to spare details here and leave it to better writers who better appreciate MMA. I love boxing, pro wrestling and amateur wrestling, but I have never gotten too emotionally invested in MMA. Just a personal preference. Regardless of that, Brock's descriptions of how badly he wants to pound Frank Mir's face in are outstanding. He beat Randy Couture for the UFC Heavyweight Championship and validated a lot of pro wrestling fans in the process. He then defeated Frank Mir, a man who had beat him in his first UFC fight, and proceeded to make a total ass out of himself. He talked shit. Bud Light was a sponsor of the event, and in his post match interview, Lesnar said he was looking forward to drinking a bunch of Coors Light's. Dana White was non too thrilled, and chewed Lesnar out backstage. Brock's response? He said to Dana that he would walk into the post fight press conference carrying a KEG of Bud Light. That would have been AWESOME, to see this Neanderthal fighter carrying in a fucking KEG of beer to a press conference? Man alive. Anyway, it didn't happen, and we are all less enriched for it.

Brock soon relates his battle with diverticulitis. A truly harrowing experience that no one should deal with. Suffice it to say, Brock overcame the odds, beat the disease, and kept on fighting.

The book ends with Brock's fight against Cain Valasquez (the epilogue) and before Brock retired from UFC and jump started his WWE career. The book is short on pages and short on details, but it is still a fun read. Its a book you can finish on a day off, or one you can finish, if you use public transportation, in a couple of days on your way to work. Anyone expecting "The Next Big Thing" in wrestling books? You will be sorely disappointed.

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