Continued from Part 1…
As soon as we walked in, it was like a dream. The room had been decorated exactly as I’d imagined it would — the only mess-up I saw was my own, because I hadn’t remembered to indicate that the Beyonce table should have the sparkly pink table cloth*, so instead it ended up on a side table. Otherwise, the “merch table” that held our mix CD name plate/favors and guitar picks popped right as you walked in the room, the centerpieces were masterfully laid out — perfect shrines to the various music couples**, and the best part was the incredible sweets table, an absolute dream to behold with all of the poofy pink balls and banners and photos of Zack and I***, as well as the treats piled high.
*I obviously never noticed the lack of sparkly pink table cloth. Honestly, it all just washed over me and I was overwhelmed with so many friends and family I loved. I just wanted to hug them all and tell them I loved them. There would be time for that.
**We spent the most time getting all this together, and were thrilled how well it all turned out and that everyone found their tables. And that the trinkets were played with, but we still got them back. Except our Kermit figurine. If anyone knows where that went…
***Originally these pics were up in our apartment as part of the decorating Katie P. helped me with for the proposal, but Caitlin liked them so much we kept them up pretty much all of last year.
I was whisked away to the Green Room pretty quickly, so as to still have at least a little mystique* in my appearance, and I was able to sit down in a chair and take in what I’d seen so far. Given the last-minute venue change, I was overwhelmed with happiness at how everything looked. The moment when it really, finally, hit me that I was getting married was when Wedding Planner Mary popped her head in the room and said, “OK, I’m going to come get you when we have 15 minutes before the ceremony starts so we can get you back on the stairs** to make your entrance.” My breath caught in my chest, my eyes widened — it was really happening! I tried to take deep breaths and stay calm as the longest AND shortest 15 minutes of my life proceeded. It felt like it was taking forever***, and then suddenly, it was time.
*There’s no mystique about the groom, so I got to shmooze with guests, like my sister and our flower girl, both looking lovely in fuchsia.
**The rest of the wedding party was hanging out by the stairs, where it was significantly warmer than the rest of the room. We were all itching to get down the aisle.
***The feeling was mutual for the team on the stairs. I couldn’t wait to get married (and out of the hot loading area).
My bridesmaids and I wandered down a back entrance to get back around to the stairs without being seen, and as we headed through a construction area of what used to be the Parish Underground, I burst out laughing. Standing right in front of me, framing the door that I had to walk through to get to the stairs, was an open ladder. I said, “I’m not really that superstitious*, but c’mon. Can we please get this moved?” The whole group laughed and a very kind fellow scooped the ladder up and set it to the side. Then I stood at the bottom of the steps, watching one by one as Zack** and our friends headed into the space.
*I’d ordered a black cat and broken mirrors as well, but I guess they got lost in the rain plan.
**I loved having my dad walk me down the aisle, giving him a big hug and then making my way up the stairs with the boot on. Getting one last pre-married hug in from him meant a lot to me. I decided to leave my cane behind at the last minute, running on adrenaline and pain killers. But not alcohol. Yet.
I don’t really remember hearing my processional song that vividly — I was vaguely aware of it playing, but mostly I remember a sea of faces* looking in my direction that, to me, just looked like a blur of love, and Zack in the spotlight at the end of my walk. As soon as I saw him, I started crying**, and then in trying desperately not to cry, I contorted my face into what must have looked like a miserable expression. I’m pretty excited to see the photos. But while I might have looked tormented on the outside, all I felt was this wave of relief and love*** and joy on the inside. I held on tightly to my dad’s arm, and he helped me up the steps and onto the stage where Zack and I were married in front of band equipment and our dearest friends and family.
*I felt the same way. Looking out from the stage, with the lights in my eyes, I could mostly just see the women in the wedding party smiling back at me. Then all I could see was my beautiful bride making her way down the aisle.
**It warmed my heart that Caitlin was getting so emotional already.
***I was a mix of being full of love, but also feeling nervous about saying my vows.
We’ll be posting the ceremony, as well as our vows, in a different post, but I do want to call out here how pleased I am at this necessity of time: I had every intention of rewriting my vows, after having brainstormed them while in a bath on Friday. I’d written them from the heart in a journal I received on my birthday this year, and ultimately ran out of time and had to read them from that journal. That journal just so happened to have Ryan Gosling on its cover, which was just too perfect and right* in the story of my life, really.
*As much as a journal with a long-held crush was perfect for Caitlin, a printed out piece of paper from a random business center was pretty fitting for me with my history.
I loved how the ceremony turned out. It was just the right length, was focused on us and our relationship, didn’t include any religion or aspect that wasn’t natural to us and let us both speak from the heart. Our buddy Monte did a great job with the Rob Sheffield reading and we’re incredibly thankful to Big Mike for leading the ceremony for us. It was just as I imagined it, but inside instead of in the rose garden.
After the ceremony ended, Zack and I walked back through our friends and family with a fist raised in the air*, triumphant, as everyone applauded us. As soon as we got outside of the door of the venue, I took off my high heeled shoes, and exchanged them for my kitten heels. We took more photos of various family and wedding party groups, and then Zack and I were again relegated to the Green Room while we had our out-of-this-world delicious dinner, courtesy of East Side King**. We had tons of compliments on our food, so it seems it was a hit with pretty much everyone, which was lovely to hear.
*I could tell why this is a recessional cliche. It seems like such a natural thing to do.
**”The best wedding food ever” was the thing I heard the most. So glad everyone enjoyed it as much as we did.
Zack and I were eager to head back out into the crowd, but we held back a while so everyone could get their food and get settled in. Once Ray Charles’ “Hallelujah I Love Her So” came blasting on, our amazing DJ, DJ Gatsby, introduced us* for the first time as Caitlin and Zack Teibloom. I’m still wrapping my mind around this brand-spanking-new identity, and still getting used to the word “husband**.” We mingled with as many tables as we could get to***, spending just enough time with each to welcome them, tell them how much we loved them, and promised to see them on the dance floor — which I took very literally.
*I went for the arm raise again. It was my dice move.
**I enjoy saying “My wiiiiiife” and calling Caitlin “wifey” and always enjoy when she calls me her husband.
***We only made it halfway through, after stopping for things like posing with all my cousins on my dad’s side in height order, as we used to as kids.
After 15 minutes or so, it was time for our first dance to LCD Soundsystem’s “I Can Change,” performed by our amazing cover band All My Friends. Zack and I had practiced very minimally (read: we danced to the first 30 seconds of the song in front of my dad*). Luckily, the two prepared moves we decided on were cheered, so we figure we did pretty well** with them. After a few verses, other couples were invited to join in, and the dance floor filled quickly, which was exciting. People wanted to get grooving***!
*It showed that Caitlin and her dad practiced a lot more than she and I did. Also, he’s an expert dancer and I’m so bad Caitlin ends up trying to lead half the time.
**Considering how little we practiced and how limited I was with my boot, I thought it went well. We just got caught up in the moment and had fun together.
***My friend Brian, pictured with his hand on his girlfriend Allie’s back above, liked the band so much already he asked if they’d play more than one song. Don’t you worry, buddy.
We took a break, though, to get in a very important tribute. Zack and my brother, Edward, worked on a beautiful tribute to Zack’s mother, Sara, who passed away when he was in high school. Zack and I had watched it many times together*, and I was excited for everyone to share in her light and love. At first, there was a technology scare — turns out the guys had put the projector in upside down. Happily, projector companies understand this is an issue, so they were able to flip the orientation** and get the video going to much applause and many, many tears***.
*I’ve watched it maybe 60 times so I could watch it without too much emotion at the ceremony and also because it makes me feel like she’s still with us. I can’t stress enough how much it means to me to have this and how thankful I am to Edward for making it.
**They had to pull out a ladder, possibly the same one Caitlin refused to walk under?
***I was able to watch without tears this time around, but kept looking around at friends and family who knew my mom to see their reactions. It was so nice to share it with everyone.
Zack’s dad Gene was on next to give an incredibly heartfelt, sweet and funny speech*, celebrating how wonderful Zack is, and welcoming me warmly into the family — with a bit of a challenge to pop a kid out, pronto**. Then my dad got the mic, and he was initially interrupted by someone’s phone alerting us all to the impending doom headed our way (i.e. the thunderstorm). Once he got going, though, he kept his speech very sweet and short***, sharing his love with me and wishing Zack and I happiness.
*A spectacular speech that was loving, thoughtful and even quoted our song. And The Godfather.
**Over-under Winter 2019-2020.
***If you know Lance, you know he’s a bit of a talker, so the short speech was surprising. What’s not surprising was how kind and loving it was.
Then it was time for my dance with my dad, which we actually did practice a few times in my living room*. We picked Paul Simon’s “Father and Daughter,” since Simon is a huge staple in our road trips of yore. Although I had many missteps, luckily because of my gigantic swishy dress, they were pretty well masked, and Zack proclaimed it was the best** we’d done with the dance.
*Scooby and I watched attentively. Only one of us tried to jump in and interrupt the dancing to be petted. And I apologize for that.
**They were spectacular. Such a wonderful mix of cute dance moves over a great song and they looked so natural. I love re-watching that video.
A fantastic dance party ensued after this, and I pretty much remained on the dance floor until it was time to cut the cake. At this point, Zack and I thanked all of our friends and family for making our night possible (we’ll post this with our vows), once again getting interrupted* by what was at this point a Tornado Watch**. Whoops. We were all too ready to party to care. My mom*** and Aunt Laura were our cake army, cutting slices as fast as they could for the hungry guests.
*The first two interruptions were by my dad and sister. I mentioned guests who flew in from out of town and in response to “Caitlin’s aunt and cousin from New Zealand,” my dad yelled out “G’day mate!” to which I replied, “Not Australia” and then my sister yelled out “And Wyoming” right after I’d mentioned Wyoming among the out of town states our guests had flown in from. I love the
Teiblooms
Buttinsky’s.
**I yelled out, “tornado watch, drink!” not realizing how severe the weather was outside. Glad everyone was OK.
***Dancing adorably above.
Despite cutting a huge hunk of chocolate malt-with-toasted-marshmallow cake for ourselves, Zack and I barely got to eat any of it, let alone any other dessert*, because as soon as I sat down to enjoy my treat, both of my legs seized up with Charlie Horses. I had to have Zack grab my dad, who massaged my legs as I finally changed into my Pumas** for the rest of the night.
*We missed out on crack pie, confetti cookies, gummy candies and 2 of the 3 layers of our cake. Luckily Caitlin got a cookie when we picked up our decorations. I could have used more food in my stomach to help the onslaught of liquor that was coming.
**Three pairs of shoes, for those counting. These were super cute pink pumas.
Once I was able to get up and move around again, we headed back out to the dance floor to get down. Our DJ expertly transition songs like Michael Jackson’s “Remember the Time” into CHIC’s “Good Times,” to Prince’s “Kiss” and Simple Minds’ “Don’t You (Forget About Me),” so I really never left the dance floor*. When the opening strains of Gogol Bordello’s “Start Wearing Purple” began to play**, I knew we were at the time in the night that I’d been most fearing. It was Hora time.
*I only left the floor to get shots, grabbing five friends at a time.
**I used this time to start rounding up the Jews and Goys to get them ready to Hora.
If you are not familiar with this Jewish tradition, this is a dance that starts out innocently enough. It begins by circling up with friends and family, making a few different circles that jump around in different directions. Then when enough energy has built up, the bride and groom are sat onto chairs, and thrust high into the air. Oh yes, you read that right. THRUST INTO THE AIR. As you can observe from this video, the chair lifters are supposed to lean you back slightly so that you don’t fall out of the chair. Nobody told my chair lifters that. To this day, I can’t be 100% sure who was lifting me*, and I doubt too many will ever fess up, because…they dropped me out of the chair.
*Rob admitted to being one of the carriers/droppers, but insisted he helped make your fall more graceful. You can watch Mel’s video of the successful part of the chair lift here.
At first I was OK, if a stitch terrified, but about one minute into this tradition, I could tell I was losing grip. I was holding tightly to the edges of the chair but because I was being leaned forward, and leaning forward myself so as to not fall backwards*, I was slipping. The slick texture of my dress plus the slippery chair were simply not made to Hora. I yelled down, “I’m falling! I’m falling! I’m falling!” a few times, but nobody heard, and eventually, I just slipped right out of the chair. Thank the universe and all that is good, I was wearing my Pumas, so I landed on my feet like a cat**. However — I was angry. I was angry, because I was embarrassed. I felt sure that I’d just flashed bunch of people with my ridiculous white lace undies that said “Bride” in silver gems on the butt, because I definitely felt some air as I fell to the ground. I have since been promised 10 times over that nobody saw anything, but until I see the photos*** I will not be sure.
*Being a Bar Mitzvah boy, I knew the tricks. You can throw one hand in the air and lean back and trust your chair holders. If you lean forward, you’re gonna slide off. Not that it was Caitlin’s fault. I blame the holders for not keeping her chair leaned back.
**Honestly the most eloquent falling out of a chair I’ve ever seen.
***I mean, I don’t think you flashed anyone. The chair would have blocked it and you were down on your feet in a second. Also, our photographer wouldn’t show us that pic, even if it did happen.
After angrily* dancing with Zack to “Hey Ya!” (which I will forever regret because that song is the JAM), DJ Gatsby saved my marriage by playing No Doubt’s “Sunday Morning,” which is exactly what I needed in that moment. I rounded up all of my friends who had seen No Doubt live with me, and we sang at the top of our lungs and jumped as high as possible with Gwen. This was the perfect release, so that when Beyonce’s “Countdown” followed, I was able to live my dream and basically do the dance that I had crafted in my head for a potential music video, with Zack playing off of my moves**. It was awesome.
*I got the brunt of this anger for Caitlin being dropped. It had to go somewhere I guess.
**This was probably my favorite dance moment of the night. We got so into it, and I was doing my own little moves like turning into a rocket, propelling my body upwards from a crouch and launching my cane into the air during the line, “London – speed it up. Houston – rocket!”
A few songs later, and it was time for All My Friends to play all of our favorite LCD tunes. I don’t think I could pick a favorite moment*, quite honestly — there was “Dance Yrself Clean” and “All My Friends” and “Losing My Edge” that they’d learned just for us, plus a loud and rowdy version of “New York I Love You But You’re Bringing Me Down.”
*They absolutely destroyed. We couldn’t have asked for a more perfect wedding band.
Our dear friend and the band’s lead singer, Chris, gave us tons of beautiful shout-outs, including one for Zack’s cane* he had been using all night. It was a sweaty pile of friends** dancing their hearts out, and there is nothing more beautiful than that.
*Apparently I insisted on the shout out for my cane. Not totally sure why.
**And Rob kept his tradition of running around going “Right here! Right here!” when the band sang, “Where are your friends tonight?” as he did at Lisa and Eric’s wedding.
The rest of the night was truly a blur*, with DJ Gatsby spinning every favorite song I could ever want to hear at a club. There was Phoenix and Beyonce and my latest favorites, Run the Jewels, and even Zack’s favorite, “Turn Down for What,” which he used as the opportune time to do a stage dive**. A stage dive. I almost had a heart attack, and then I almost ran after him to kill him, but instead “Blister in the Sun” came on*** so I just danced it out.
*Tell me about it.
**I’ve been envisioning this stage dive for months. If ever there’s a time when you know you’ll be caught, it’s at your own wedding. I’m told I waited for the silence between “another round of shots” and “TURN DOWN FOR WHAT” to jump. Well done, blacked out me.
***Let me go on. The stage is like three feet off the ground and I made sure my boys were ready to catch me. Andy described it as “kinda like ‘Dirty Dancing,'” but Caitlin insists it was nowhere near that graceful. Still…
By the end of the night, I realized I’d only had about 2 minutes with any one person, and people’s smiling faces just whirled around my head like some wonderful collage. We had a huge chunk of open bar tab left*, but everyone was spent and it was time to go home**. The Inselmanns saved the day again by taking our centerpieces home in their Uber so that Zack and I could make our way back*** to the W.
*This led to my over-doing it at the end of the night. I felt obligated to get as close to that bar tab as possible. Encouraging shots wasn’t a terrible idea, but taking one every single time was.
**Also, it was closing time. It wasn’t like we were tired and decided to leave. We stayed until the very end*.
*Closing time.
***With Andy, Bryn and Brett carrying/dragging me down the street.
There are things people tell you about your wedding that you want to poo-poo. Things like, “You will not eat much at all,” and, “It’s all going to be a huge blur* and go by in an instant.” I fought against these wisdoms as hard as I could, insisting that Zack and I have time to eat in the green room, and trying to plan in a yoga session** before the wedding to center ourselves and slow down. Whoops. Instead, it was a race to the finish, and despite having set-aside food-eating time, I still only managed to eat a few bites of everything savory and almost nothing sweet*** (who am I?!?) because I was just too amped to want to eat.
*More than a blur for me. I straight up don’t remember the last hour of the reception. I deeply regret that.
**Another regret. There just wasn’t time, the way scheduling hair and make-up went the wedding morning.
***I was sure we’d at least get to try the different cakes and crack pie. At least I thought Caitlin would.
So, if I were to give anyone advice on how to have the best wedding, I’d simply say the following:
Let go of the details. By all means, leading up to the wedding, plan out every fork and spoon placement that you want. But give yourself a cut-off day and time — I’d recommend 24 hours* before your wedding — so you can just let it go and be in the moment. Truly, only the vegans will notice that the cupcakes didn’t get laid out, and you can just give all six to your brother and take care of your mom the next time she’s in town. They will truly forgive you.
Thank people early and often**. It’s the people who make your wedding wonderful and unforgettable.
Be as completely forgiving as possible***. Don’t ruin “Hey Ya” because you’re embarrassed about being tossed off of your chair during the Hora. Just do a little curtsy and continue to get down with your bad self. Besides, you’ve got a cute butt****.
Do the dance you imagined in your head for Beyonce*****. Nobody will make fun of you. Everyone will think you’re awesome.
*It would have been nice if we weren’t still working on decorations late Friday night and writing our vows Saturday early afternoon, but what can you do?
**I feel good about this one. I spent a lot of the party telling everyone how much I loved them and making sure they were having a good time.
***Even if your dumb dumb husband gets carried away with shots and ruins the end of the night. I have zero memory of this pic being taken, where I’m clutching a fist full of cash to tip our wedding planner. I should have been more in control so I remembered everything and was able to go back to our hotel room and reminisce about our wedding instead of being sick in the shower and passing out. I will always regret that.
****The cutest butt!
*****It was magical. We had the dance party wedding we always wanted, surrounded by friends and loved ones with great food and drinks. We’re so thankful to everyone who made it special. This is just what we remember from the night. The 100 or so of you in attendence had different experiences, so please share them in comments or texts or pictures you have on your phone and never sent us. Thank you to Nikki, Brittany and Torrey for providing a lot of these pics. Everyone else – the more pics/video the better. We want to re-live this magical night forever. A million times thank you.