2016-07-07

Welcome to Cover Snark, where the people are snarky and the covers quiver in fear. Since I don’t write many snarky book reviews here on A Reader of Fictions, Cover Snark is my outlet. If you click on the title of the book, where possible, I’ve linked to Goodreads. Clicking on the cover itself will show you the cover in a larger size, in most cases. Feel free to love covers I hate and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Please note that you should by no means contact the author if you do not like their cover; they likely have ZERO control. Feel free to express opinions in the comments, but please do not @ an author on Twitter because of anything you’ve seen here. Let’s keep it kind.

Shiny and New:

1. Spindle Fire – Lexa Hillyer

Thoughts: This IS a fairy tale.

2. Eclipse the Flame (Ignite the Shadows #2) – Ingrid Seymour

Thoughts: Let’s all yellow about the awesomeness of this.

3. Cursed (Fear Street Saga) – R.L. Stine

Thoughts: Wasn’t building your house out of paper kind of asking for this?

4. Rise of Fire (Reign of Shadows #2) – Sophie Jordan

Thoughts: *jams out to Nothing but Flowers*

5. No Good Dragon Goes Unpunished (Heartstrikers #3) – Rachel Aaron

Thoughts: Will I ever tire of badass lady covers? NEVER.

6. Fall of Thrones and Thorns (Threats of Sky and Sea #3) – Jennifer Ellision

Thoughts: In case it wasn’t already clear that these titles were inspired by Sarah J. Maas…

7. Etched in Bone (The Others #5) – Anne Bishop

Thoughts: Meg’s got cool hair but these covers are mehhhh.

8. Gem & Dixie – Sara Zarr

Thoughts: Gem and Dixie are both shockingly bad at putting down blankets.

9. Overexposed (In Focus #4) – Megan Erickson

Thoughts: Ironically, this guy is wearing the most clothing I have ever seen on a romance cover.

10. Show Me How (Thatch #2.5) – Molly McAdams

Thoughts: I swear I’ve seen this cover on a YA book. A digital cookie to anyone who can tell me what book! UPDATE: The digital cookies went to Rachel (Beauty and the Bookshelf). This cover was already used on The Truth About You and Me by Amanda Grace.

11. Devil in Spring (The Ravenels #1) – Lisa Kleypas

Thoughts: Put some mirrors there in place of trees, and this is a Selection cover.

12. At the Sign of the Crow and Moon (Sorcery Ascendant Sequence #0.5) – Mitchell Hogan

Thoughts: Dualwielding in an awesome coat. Yessss.

13. The Mark of the King – Jocelyn Green

Thoughts: The mark’s a tramp stamp under there, isn’t it?

14. The End of Our Story – Meg Haston

Thoughts: Puts the kiss in kiss off.

15. 100 Hours (Untitled Trilogy #1)- Rachel Vincent

Thoughts: This looks like a shitty reality show.

16. The Body Market (The Wired #2) – Donna Freitas

Thoughts: She took the red pill.

17. Looking for Group – Rory Harrison

Thoughts: Follow the swerving tire track road.

18. Beheld (Kendra Chronicles #4) – Alex Flinn

Thoughts: Seriously, what is it with crows and fantasy covers? But whatever I want that dress and generally just this whole thing is boss.

19. Silver Stars (Soldier Girl #2) – Michael Grant

Thoughts: Tanks a lot.

20. Ones and Zeroes (Mirador #2) – Dan Wells

Thoughts: How do you say YASSSS in binary?

21. Dare You (Nikki Kill #2) – Jennifer Brown

Thoughts: HOW DARE YOU ROOT FOR THAT SPORTSKETBALL TEAM?!?

22. Ronit & Jamil – Pamela L. Laskin

Thoughts: I can open your eyes Take you wonder by wonder Over sideways and under On a magic cloud ride

23. Long May She Reign – Rhiannon Thomas

Thoughts: If I could save Hogwarts in a bottle…

24. Freedom’s Slave (Dark Caravan Cycle #3) – Heather Demetrios

Thoughts: Was she kidnapped by a bird? Or is that just a really intense runway fashion?

25. Hunted (Hunted #1) – Meagan Spooner

Thoughts: Pretty weak fairy tale cover game with this one tbh. Keep hunting.

26. Run the Risk (On the Edge #3) – Allison van Diepen

Thoughts: The amount that these covers look like Simone Elkeles covers is painful.

27. The Freemason’s Daughter – Shelley Sackier

Thoughts: Hair on fleek for the Miss Freemason pageant.

28. Lucky Girl – Amanda Maciel

Thoughts: Doesn’t it look like Marissa from The OC got super drunk and just woke up in this field confused?

29. Literally – Lucy Keating

Thoughts: It kills me that her shorts don’t match the title.

30. The Someday Birds – Sally J. Pla

Thoughts: Two wings way way up.

31. A Good Idea – Cristina Moracho

Thoughts: Do not listen to this cover, kids. Bathing in that tub is bad idea bears.

32. Words in Deep Blue – Cath Crowley

Thoughts: Background in deep blue. Words in newsprint.

33. The Alchemists of Loom (Loom Saga #1) – Elise Kova

Thoughts: Probably my least favorite of the Kova covers because the shiny purple eyes make me think of all the purple-eyed book characters but still lovely artwork as always.

34. The Wall of Fame Game (The Magnificent Mya Tibbs #2) – Crystal Allen

Thoughts: Her hat has eyebrows.

35. Snow Fright – Amie & Bethanie Borst

Thoughts: Instead of dwarves, she has seven zombie friends: Grrargh, Drooly, Dig, Hungry, Shambly, Shuffly, and Braaaaaaains.

36. Cupcake Overload – Bethany Lopez

Thoughts: Looks like this is about a girl who didn’t listen to her mom, ate ten cupcakes, went swimming, got a cramp, and drowned.

37. Hero Grown (Seeds of Destiny #2) – Andy Livingstone

Thoughts: I camel, I saw, I conquered.

38. King’s Cage (Red Queen #3) – Victoria Aveyard

Thoughts: My least favorite of the three, I think, but these covers are all fantastic so oh well.

39. Venom and Steel (The Frey Saga #4) – Melissa Wright

Thoughts: She’s wearing a buttflap.

40. 10 Things I Can See from Here – Carrie Mac

Thoughts: I love text-focused covers, but I don’t think this one’s quite interesting enough to pull off something so close to monochromatic. Though if the finished copy is textured right, this could still rock.

41. A Crown of Wishes (The Star-Touched Queen #2) – Roshani Chokshi

Thoughts: So glad they didn’t put a crown on it. And really horses are underutilized on book covers

42. A Boy Called Bat – Elana K. Arnold

Thoughts: He’s gonna be called skunk forever if he gets sprayed.

Cover Battles:

1. The Silence of Six (SOS Thriller) – E.C. Myers

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Well, it’s definitely creepier.

Take Our Poll

2. Firebug (Firebug #1) – Lish McBride

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: BLESS THIS REDESIGN!

Take Our Poll

3. Dark Sons – Nikki Grimes

US 2007 vs. US 2010 vs. US 2017: Though it’s not a big change, the blue background does make the cover pop a bit more.

Take Our Poll

4. Bleeding Earth – Kaitlin Ward

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: Bloody fantastic.

Take Our Poll

5. All We Left Behind – Ingrid Sundberg

US Hardback vs. US Paperback: It’s more original but also OMFG BUGS WHY.

Take Our Poll

6. Belle (Once Upon a Time #14) – Cameron Dokey

US 2008 vs. US 2011 vs. US 2017: Probably due for a modernization, but it does look a bit like it’s marketing for the people into Twilight, and it’s a bit late for that.

Take Our Poll

7. Duels & Deception – Cindy Anstey

US Take 1 vs. US Take 2: I love this because you can see how they took a good concept and really made it work.

Take Our Poll

8. Radio Silence – Alice Oseman

UK vs. US: It’s really hard to make a cover with a face on it stand out anymore, so I’ll take the US cover.

Take Our Poll

WTF of the Week:

WTF of the Week began as a special category for one cover I saw, but was so popular it became a recurring feature. Here, I highlight covers, both new and old, that I’ve found, which, upon viewing, made me either snort or say something along the lines of “Dear God, what is that thing?”

1. Bark to the Future (An Alpine Grove Romantic Comedy #5) – Susan C. Daffron

Thoughts: 1.21 gigawoofs?! 1.21 gigawoofs?! Great Scotty!

2. Cowboy Lust (Bakersville Saga #3-4) – Helen Hardt

Thoughts: The love of a man and his horse.

3. Desert Rising (Desert Rising #1) – Kelley Grant

Thoughts: They attached a cheetah head to another cat body.

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