L. posted a blog post
Bummed. Tomorrow's My Dr's Appt
I told someone on here I'd be posting that day and then I ended up not doing so!! I apologize. Life's full of distractions and also I don't have dependable home internet service (data plan that continually runs out, and no car to go to the library with free will). Shouldn't have made the promise to begin with. Well it's been 4 months on all produce (other than chia and flax)... I'm not sure what to do because I have not noticed any significant changes with my arthritis, not enough to where I can tell. If I miss one dose of my medicine it seems I'm back to feeling full of aches and pains, let alone two or three doses, where it's just complete misery. I don't really know what to do, I definitely want to continue this diet because I think that I enjoy the way I look and feel way more than any drug of choice (unhealthy food). But is it actually helping heal my diseases (arthritis and ulcerative proctitis)? I don't know, it may be way too soon to tell, but so far, I've got no clue. Nada. It's pretty disappointing. Tomorrow's my doctor's appointment and I just thank goodness A is coming, because he is very sensible and helpful to me, he's clearly so intelligent and he's a great communicator (unlike moi--my strong communication is in writing, not in voice, he's the exact opposite). I think people tend to not take me seriously, maybe because I'm a woman, I don't really know. It's very frustrating especially since I can tell when someone else isn't very smart and I have to deal with their nonsense, and they simply don't want to listen to logic that comes from my mouth. The dr seems to take me seriously, and my parents bless their hearts, whether they disagree or not, always are a little silly, but thank goodness for A, because he has seen all I'm going through and can testify for me. It's scary, I don't want to go on Humira. I used to get bronchitis every year, I've caught a virus in my eye that is permanent...I don't want to deal with the risk that I could develop cancer, resurrect old bugs (the drug reactivates dormant infections), or simply be highly susceptible to catching another bug. That is scary stuff. I do NOT want to go on this drug but the way my arthritis has been lately, I almost feel like I have to, which is terrifying. It would be in ignorance to appreciate the pain-free days that Humira will certainly give me, and ignore the fact that it would be a huge risk I'd be taking. Yet it feels some people around me only want to believe the former and forget the latter. Again, thank goodness for A. Even though we don't always get along he's always there for me and stands up for me. One thing I have noticed is if I even take a bite of food that isn't on my plan, my stomach starts acting up again--acid reflux--I even got a sore throat. I wanted to try doing these things because I am a skeptic, I don't fall prey to dogma, I like to test things out and have evidence before I make a conclusion, and it was an active decision. I really do think that this diet is still a benefit to me, even if it doesn't heal the diseases, because of other small things I've noticed. What I haven't noticed after four months is anything that I think is preposterous, but we won't get into what I think people mentally manifest on this lifestyle lol. Hey, my blog. I'm bein' honest! Although I'm pretty honest in person too if I feel comfortable enough (aka not a professional environment). I just think that when people decide to do anything that is different from what in their culture is the norm, they tend to create wild fantasies about drastic changes that happen to them if ever they redirect back into their old ways. I know this diet makes wonderful changes, but I also have some lines I draw between what I think is logical and what I think is clearly psychological. This is also why I'm fascinated by the science behind raw food. I'm considering going into research actually, as opposed to being a dietitian, but I'd like to research the effects of food, NOT medicine. It's just been too hellish in my own experience on the medicine path. But who knows--this might be too tedious of a direction for me, it's just something I've been pondering because these are things I'm very interested in. I have interests in all kinds of things but I'm not sure if there is enough passion to ignite some sort of direct path. In other words, I have no idea what I'm doing, I'm just kind of pushing myself in a direction that I could accept because I can't hang in limbo anymore. This girl is still looking for a job. It's been difficult and disappointing so far, but I'm trying. I had good vibes from a place I applied to yesterday, but we'll see. Good vibes don't always mean you get a job in life. Just means you liked the people you met. A picks me up in a half hour. I'm excited to see him. I wish I'd remembered my house keys because I was all excited to share blueberries with him today! Got some really yummy ones. Oh well :) Gosh, we've had a rough week, we always do. We are SO not meant for each other--we both know this very well--but we really care about each other. It's been a bit difficult to draw the line of separation--and sometimes we are very much punished for that. Oh well. I'm grateful for him.OH PS: :) I spent four hours cleaning out the fridge today. It's shiny and glorious now, and I'm much less fearful when reaching for my produce! I threw out bottles and bottles of expired products and shoved the bag of them right in the bin in the garage because I wanted them OUT of the house pronto. Mom now has NO excuses to not eat healthy, she has lots of big shiny empty shelves ready for her to fill with whatever healthfulness she desires. I was tired of listening to her complain that all of 'my' produce is what's keeping her from eating well. The fridge looks BEAUTIFUL now, so I'm not the problem anymore. She can do whatever she wants and I'll always love her, but blaming things like that on me shouldn't be happening. Plus I don't even use the cupboards (oh, aside from some scant spices and a bag of chia seeds). So there we go, problem solved!! :)See More