2014-05-29

Table setting at Kim & Kanye's Wedding Reception #KimyeWedding pic.twitter.com/lFHElm3QDs

— Kardashian Pedia (@Kardashianpedia) May 25, 2014

Because pictures of Kimye miserably enduring papps in Cork while they do the things that normals do (i.e. going to the movies) can only be so interesting, it's time to dive into the best gossip from their over-the-top wedding. Page Six has a digest of the insanity from inside the nuptials that covers everything from rogue guests to Golden Toilet Towers to his-and-her drama queen moments. It's a treat.

They had a Golden Toilet Tower (or Torre di Bagni Oro in Italian):

Standing 49 feet and painted gold, the focal point of the wedding was the tower that housed toilets. It was located next to the dinner table and in front of the bar. According to an undisclosed Italian source, "Their toilet was the star of the show."

The seating chart was a wedding planner's nightmare:

We've all seen the marble dinner table, which replaced placed cards with name engravings at each seat. Pretty dope, yes? According to the NY Post, some of the names were spelled wrong (thanks wedding planners). It didn't matter that much though because "so many people brought entourages, the seating was a disaster."

The wedding was haunted by headless black statues:

Apparently a solid four days before the wedding, the planners ordered 30 life-size nudes to be cut from black marble, each weighing about "half a ton." About ten made it, but four were headless. We imagine they would have originally resembled Kim, Khloe, Kourtney and Kris.

Kanye was a big jerk:

When he saw about 80 lights that lit the venue about four days before the wedding, he ordered them down saying, "I'm in the center of this party, and I'm the only one people need to see. The rest of these people don't need lights on them."

A day before the wedding, Kanye DIY'ed the bar by sawing it in half then ordered two pieces of raw wood to be nailed on the front. He declared, "Now it's art."

The music was played on an iPod until after dinner because the $136,00 audio ordered didn't fit Ye's minimalist aesthetic. He supposedly said, "You Italians don't understand my Minimalist style."

He gave a "45 minute toast to himself," but danced with Kim for five songs as John Legend played a marble piano.

The guests did confusing things too:

Will Smith's son Jaden wore a white Batman costume and ran around "like a chicken with its head cut off from 8:30 p.m. until 10:25 p.m." He'd knock glasses at empty seats off the table and threw his cape over Vogue Italia's editor in chief, Franca Sozzani multiple times.

This happened, or something. We don't feel equipped to translate it, so here it is in full, directly from the Post:

Earlier, Kim had come out to check the venue. A lone spotlight was shining on the terrace as she walked out. She stopped with the beam focused on her crotch. She was furious that a beam of light had hit her crotch (even though she was the one who walked into the beam) and started screaming, ran over to the electrical boards and unplugged the entire circuit. This shut down half the lights on the cocktail area. It also turned out the lights in the bathrooms, so the Gold Toilet Tower was dark inside, and everyone was too afraid to plug the lights back in.

Jay Z sent a gift:

Instead of himself, the rapper sent a bottle of gold-dipped Chianti with a diamond cork.

· Golden Toilet Tower, Headless Nude Statues: Inside Kimye's Wedding [P6]

· #KimyeWedding Pics You Missed While Eating Hot Dogs [Racked]

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