I grew up as the oldest of five siblings, and I can still remember how much fun we had hanging out in our neighborhood or at the nearby playground for hours upon hours. We’d eat breakfast, head out on our bikes, and wouldn’t return until lunch and then do it all over again until it got dark and it was time to eat supper.
Today, however, this type of unstructured play is anything but the norm. Reasons such as our kid’s safety in today’s fast-paced world, as well as the hundreds of organized sporting and extra-curricular activities that are now offered, seem to prohibit the free time my generation had as children.
While signing our kids up for enrichment opportunities is definitely important, giving them down time and casual play time also offers important benefits. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children get enough exercise and also have an hour per day to unwind, relax and have some simple creative play time. Mighty Mommy has six simple ways to create unstructured play time for your kids and how to keep this playful momentum going as they grow.
Tip #1: Scale Back on Kids’ Activities
Does it seem like you spend all your free time carting your kids from one practice or activity to another?
We all want our kids to have as many experiences and advantages as possible, so we sign them up for Tai Chi, art lessons, piano, soccer, baseball, scouts, swim lessons—the list goes on and on. Regardless of whether it’s your child begging to join all these activities or if you and your spouse feel they need to be exposed to as many opportunities as possible, step back and take a close look at how much time all of these commitments take.
Consider which of these activities you can trade in for a little family time. Get your kids involved by asking them which of these extracurricular are their favorites and which they can live without.
See also: 10 Ways to Be a More Organized Parent
Let's say your daughter's soccer league has scheduled an away tournament on Memorial Day weekend and your son's play rehearsals are seeping into school vacation.
Time for a new rule: Set aside certain weeks out of the year—holidays and vacations, perhaps—that are non-negotiable family time. Assess situation by situation, realizing that even if your kids become famous athletes or actors, one holiday weekend won’t make or break them. But allowing them free blocks of time to play and spend their time without any schedule could lay a foundation of self-care and creativity that they might not otherwise know.
Remember that kids aren’t kids forever, and once they are grown, your time with and influence on them diminishes substantially. Take the opportunity now to develop a close sense of family and help them protect some of their precious time now before they grow into over-scheduled young adults.
Tip #2: Get Outside and Play
Let your child explore new places like a nearby wooded trails, a pond, sand dunes, an open field, or even a friend’s backyard. The key is to let them explore and spend time investigating and making new discoveries all on their own without any guided direction. Mother Nature offers up free playgrounds all over the community so get your child outside to these different places and encourage this type of fun exploration.
Tip #3 - Let Them Create
This may sound like a simple concept, but it’s often overlooked in our busy, chaotic days of parenting. Though we all get tired, overwhelmed, and distracted after a long day at work or being at home, and just trying to manage details like dinner, laundry, and homework, we can’t forget that our kids still need stimulation and creative outlets to help them thrive.
An easy way to do this is to look around the house and see if you have any empty boxes, paper towel tubes, even a stack of old magazines. Let them “have at it” with no instructions other than “show me what you can make out of this neat stuff.” A few summers ago, my then nine-year-old son came to me enthusiastically asking if he could use some of the cardboard building blocks we had laying around to make a project. When he was done, he excitedly revealed his robot friend, complete with two working flashlights for the eyes. Check him out below! Years later, as a teenager, he never lets a scrap of material go in the trash if he thinks he can construct something cool.
Tip #4: Beat the Bored
There’s a wonderful quote I love about boredom—“Only boring people get bored.” That, however, is not the response your 10-year old child wants to hear when he has nothing exciting with which to entertain himself on a rainy Saturday afternoon.
Boredom can also be an opportunity, according to Linda Caldwell, professor of Recreation, Park and Tourism Management and Human Development and Family Studies at Penn State.
Caldwell goes on to say that in fact, learning to beat boredom is a crucial life skill. “Kids who are always bored in their leisure time, says Caldwell, are in danger of developing “long-term boredom, where nothing is ever interesting.” That long-term boredom has been linked to substance abuse, school drop out, and vandalism. And boredom doesn’t just come from having too few activities, Caldwell says, “It could be a sign you have too many.”
So if you run into some opposition from your kids when you give them the opportunity to have free playtime and they immediately announce how boring this is for them, don’t fold. Instead, use this as a stepping stone to help them find ways to play and entertain themselves. If they aren’t ready to come up with ideas on their own, visit sites like educationworld.com where they offer lots of fun, inexpensive and creative ideas for kids of all ages.
This doesn’t mean you have to let them finger paint while sitting on your cream sofa, but find a spot in your home where you can allow them to get messy
Tip #5: Get Messy
For those who can’t function unless their environment is well-organized and pristine, allowing your kids to make messes can be truly daunting. However, by letting your kids have a little breathing room when they are in the mood to create, you’d be surprised at the outcome. This doesn’t mean you have to let them finger paint while sitting on your cream sofa, but find a spot in your home where you can allow them to get messy. A corner of the dining room might be perfect to set up an affordable easel, poster paints, chalks and crayons, glue, pieces of scrap fabric, and more. We use plastic shower curtains from the dollar store to lay down when the kids want to be artistic—it’s cheap and makes for easy clean up! A couple of years ago, my then 6-year-old and her friends held a holiday art sale in the neighborhood—completely their own idea. With the money they made, they bought new materials at the craft store and worked on creating more projects.
Tip #6: Create Adult Playtime
Remember what it was like to have fun? For many parents, life is about crossing things off a neverending to-do list. Without time built into each day for nourishing our spirit, we become more vulnerable to frustration and stress. Well, not only is it important to foster non-structured playtime for your children, it’s equally as important to do so for yourself. When you set the example of being carefree and being spontaneous with your time, you’ll become a great role model to your kids to follow suit.
See also: 5 Tips to Stay Inspired as a Parent
Break up your to-do lists by having some adult playtime. Grab some crayons and make a card for your partner or a coworker. Have a dance contest with your children. Find reasons to have a good, old-fashioned belly laugh. These small acts can make a big difference in lightening your stress level by helping you reconnect with the playful and happy parts of yourself that can get buried under the list of things to do.
How do you encourage free playtime in your family? Share your thoughts in the comments section at quickanddirtytips.com/mighty-mommy, post your ideas on the Mighty Mommy Facebook page. or email me at mommy@quickanddirtytips.com. Visit my family-friendly boards at Pinterest.com/MightyMommyQDT.
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