January can be a very exciting time for high school seniors, as they enter the home stretch of their school career and look ahead to college. And for those who have applied early admission (like my son who is a senior this year), they are just now finding out if they’ve been accepted to their top choices.
My son applied to 7 colleges for early acceptance, and was thrilled to learn he’s been accepted to 5 so far. He’s riding an emotional high at the moment because several have offered near-full scholarships, too.
This isn’t always the case for families, however - and I can speak from personal experience, because our oldest child didn’t even know if she wanted to attend college when she was at this same stage in her senior year. Although she was always an excellent student, she didn’t have the focus and desire to hone in on what she wanted to do for the upcoming weekend, nevermind the next four years of her life!
Because she was our first child to go through the graduation and college process, and didn’t have any experience to draw upon, we felt ill-equipped to help guide her. Luckily, she had a guidance counselor who was able to relate to her and didn’t push her into the “one size fits all” graduation scenario. After meeting with her numerous times in her senior year, he strongly suggested she take a Gap Year after high school rather than applying to college right away.
A Gap Year is a break from formal education - typically taken after high school or before starting graduate school - which the student uses to travel or work. This was all new to us several years ago, but what we’ve learned in the process has been extremely helpful for both our daughter who took a Gap Year, and for us in helping our other kids decide what was best for them as they navigated their senior years.
If your high school student is up in the air about what route to take after graduation, here are 5 reasons a Gap Year might be a good choice.
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Reason #1: It's a Chance to Get to Know Yourself
My daughter has always been an introvert. She’s completely comfortable with her immediate family and very best friends, but it takes her a while to warm up to people she doesn’t know well. When she was a junior in high school, she already had a feeling that heading off to college might not be the best choice for her, because she didn’t feel emotionally and socially ready.
Some may not feel that’s a strong enough reason to delay college by a year, but my daughter also has a late summer birthday, making her one of the youngest in her graduating class. Though she was the oldest of 8 siblings, she truthfully wasn’t as mature and socially ready as many of her classmates. Knowing this, we sat down and set some written goals at the beginning of her Gap Year, so we would have some measurable tools to work with.
One of these goals was for her to spend time getting to know herself—basically, understanding what her strengths and weaknesses were, and how to make those work for her in a more independent setting, such as college.
She will be the first to admit that it was very difficult to stay behind when her best friends left home to attend colleges out of state; she hoped she had made the right decision, but there was still that annoying inner voice that kept her second guessing herself for the first few weeks. She spent the first month reading and journaling, though, and soon after, she became much more comfortable with her decision - and then started exploring potential career paths that she would be interested in pursuing.
Reason #2: You'll Learn to Overcome Personal Obstacles
Our daughter was, and still is, very shy in nature. She’s always worked in jobs that required her to interact with the public, but her first choice would be to work alone, or with just a few colleagues. So during the year she took off between high school and college, she took a job as an intern in one of the fields she was interested in: education and research.
There, she had to work with some very opinionated individuals that were both demanding and difficult. No longer having teachers to rely on for back up in a tense environment, she learned on her own terms how to advocate for herself when she wasn’t being treated well, or when she wasn’t sure how to handle certain projects and needed help. This alone served her extremely well when she did eventually go to college and had to deal with a variety of personality types amongst her professors and roommates.
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Reason #3: You Can Travel and Experience the "Real World"
Being introverted and preferring to spend time alone or with just close friends, my daughter hadn’t really spread her wings to see what was going on in other parts of the town - nevermind even leaving state lines to see what great adventures might be waiting for her outside of her own backyard. We often referred to her as a “Country Bumpkin” who would be thrilled to live happily ever after in a house next door to ours.
That all changed when her best friend left for college in England. Intrigued by what it would be like to live in another country and attend college, she took advantage of the opportunity and spent some time traveling abroad with her friend. Now, England was decidedly not for her, but once she had a taste of exploring another part of the world, she felt confident that she would be able to live someplace else other than her home town.
We firmly believe that if she hadn’t taken the Gap Year, she would have never had such an experience or gained such self-confidence. So for those individuals who are comfortable with leaving the nest and discovering new and exciting parts of the country (or world), a Gap Year can provide life-changing opportunities that the student might otherwise never have.
Reason #4: It Will Help Pinpoint Your Study of Choice
College can be an opportunity to explore a wide range of academic disciplines. But while it’s not unusual for college students to change their major 2 or 3 times, students will get a lot more out of their education if they have at least a general idea of what they want to study, and what career their expensive education will prepare them for, before enrolling.
A Gap Year can help students identify what their academic interests truly are, and what career path will make them happy, therefore saving the hassle of unnecessary course work and the price of expensive books and other materials.
My daughter thought she wanted to do something in the field of engineering, but after a full year to reflect and explore various career opportunities, she decided she is definitely more interested in the field of education (though would someday still like to learn a skill such as auto repair, so she can help women who need to have their cars serviced feel comfortable in an often intimidating atmosphere.)
Reason #5: It Buys You Valuable Time When You’re Not Ready
As parents, most of us share the common dream of watching our children grow into respectful, productive, happy, and fulfilled adults who will make a positive contribution to the world we live in. Attending college or a trade school after high school is usually part of this scenario; however, not every child is going to fit neatly into this mold.
We knew that our daughter was not ready for college immediately after high school, so it was then our job to support her decision and help guide her during this crucial year of self-discovery - so that when she did begin college, she wouldn’t feel so overwhelmed, and would have the best chance at succeeding with her studies.
Our “Country Bumpkin” threw us a real curve ball when at the end of her Gap Year, she decided that New York City was the place she would choose for her college experience. If she had decided to attend college immediately after high school, we all know she never would have ventured out of her small, hometown environment to one of the largest and most sophisticated cities in the world.
So in the end, her Gap Year was in essence a gift to herself - a gift of time to figure out where her life was going, rather than succumbing to the social pressures of attending college after high school just because that is the "typical" path.
For helpful resources about the Gap Year, visit American Gap Association, or check out books like The Gap-Year Advantage: Helping Your Child Benefit from Time Off Before or During College, by Karl Haigler and Rae Nelson; Taking Time Off, by Gail Reardon; and Taking a Gap Year, by Susan Griffith.
Do you have a child who is considering a Gap Year? Or if your child went through a Gap Year, what benefits did you find as a result? Share your thoughts in the Comments section at quickanddirtytips.com/mighty-mommy, post your ideas on the Mighty Mommy Facebook page. or email me at mommy@quickanddirtytips.com. Also visit my family-friendly boards at Pinterest.com/MightyMommyQDT.
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Photos of crossroads, girl with globe, and questioning student courtesy of Shutterstock.