The 2016 MTV VMAs went down last night, and apart from Beyoncé owning the entire event and that moment when everyone thought Drake was gonna propose to Rihanna on stage, it was pretty uneventful.
A quick rundown of the highlights:
When it was announced that Kanye West was getting time to do whatever he wanted at the “VMAs,”everyone braced themselves…but nothing crazy ever really happened.
Kanye spent about six minutes talking, but it wasn’t very memorable.
He did make a joke about his “Famous” video possibly losing to Beyoncé later in the night, saying, “I can’t be mad. I’m always wishing for Beyoncé to win.”
He also mentioned Taylor Swift, but only in the context of there being a lot of things more important than their feud, like the fact that 22 people were “murdered in Chicago” last week.
He said, “People come up to me like, ‘Man, that’s right. Take down Taylor.’ Bro, I love y’all. That’s why I called her.”
He listed the people he admires, and they apparently include HIMSELF. “My role models are artists-merchants. There’s less than 10 that I can name in history. Truman. Ford. Hughes. Disney. Jobs. West.”
Watching Kanye and realizing I can never get those four minutes of my life back. #VMAs
— Cassie Young (@CassandraYoung) August 29, 2016
Kanye’s true purpose was to introduce his new video “Fade,” which is mostly just singer Teyana Taylor dancing in a gym, wearing almost nothing. Then it cuts to her in the shower getting it on with Iman Shumpert of the Cleveland Cavaliers.
Then we cut to the two of them naked, in the gym. She’s on his back, and she has a cat face. They have a baby, and they’re surrounded by sheep. It’s art. They’re also a couple in real life.
Rihanna performed four times throughout the night before picking up her Video Vanguard award, but it felt like the world was still waiting for that “holy crap” moment.
Luckily, Beyoncé did kind of light it up with a medley of songs from “Lemonade:” “Pray You Catch Me,” “Hold Up,” “Sorry,” “Don’t Hurt Yourself,” and “Formation,” which ended with her and her dancers in the shape of the female symbol.
It lasted around 16 minutes.
Even though it was Rihanna’s night…it really was Beyoncé’s night, because she won eight Moonmen, including Video of the Year for “Formation.” That gives her a total of 22, making her the most decorated artist in “VMA” history. She knocked Madonna down to second with 20.
#VMAs
Rih: this was suppose to be my night.
Bey: it is.
Rih: pic.twitter.com/dRNtt3sU3I
— WORLD STAR FANS (@FunnyWorIdStar) August 29, 2016
Alicia Keys also had one of the great moments of the night. She gave an emotional speech where she recited an original poem about the 53rd anniversary of Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream” speech, and she sang the end of it.
And Britney Spears got the short end of the stick, performing almost directly after Beyoncé’s epic set. Adorned in a yellow sequined leotard (reminiscent of her tan body suit from her 2001 “Oops” VMA performance), she had some shadow puppets dance with her until G-Eazy joined her on stage (cooler than it sounds), and then she broke into G-Eazy’s song, “Me, Myself & I.”
And Ariana Grande performed “Side To Side” with Nicki Minaj…while on spin bikes and other assorted gym equipment. Always gotta give props to a girl who can sing while cycling, though.
You can watch videos from the night here and here. And here are some fun memes spawned by last night’s show.
BEYONCÉ was the big winner at last night’s “VMAs” with eight awards.
Here’s the complete winner’s list:
Video of the Year: “Formation”, Beyoncé
Best Collaboration: “Work from Home”, Fifth Harmony and Ty Dolla $ign
Best Pop Video: “Formation”, Beyoncé
Best Female Video: “Hold Up”, Beyoncé
Best Male Video: “This Is What You Came For”, Calvin Harris, featuring Rihanna
Best Rock Video: “Heathens”, Twenty One Pilots
Best Hip-Hop Video: “Hotline Bling”, Drake
Best Long-Form: “Lemonade”, Beyoncé . . . This was a new category this year, maybe just so they’d have another award to give to Beyoncé.
Best Electronic Video: “How Deep Is Your Love”, Calvin Harris and Disciples
Best New Artist: DNCE
Song of the Summer: “All in My Head”, Fifth Harmony featuring Fetty Wap
Best Direction: “Formation”, Beyoncé
Best Art Direction: “Blackstar”, David Bowie
Best Choreography: “Formation”, Beyoncé
Best Cinematography: “Formation”, Beyoncé
Best Editing: “Formation”, Beyoncé
Best Visual Effects: “Up & Up”, Coldplay
Michael Jackson Vanguard Award: Rihanna