MOTUNRAYO JOEL writes about couples who met on social media and got married
Chioma Obinwanne and her husband, Nnamdi, cut the image of your ideal young couple. Gay and vivacious, they could not take their eyes off each other. They appear very much in love and describe their marriage as – made in heaven!
The Obinwannes met on Facebook and they are not shy to talk about it. While Chioma is into business, her spouse works at a multinational manufacturing company.
The Lagos-based couple never knew each other until they met on Facebook in 2010. After a two-year whirlwind courtship, they tied the knots in May 2012.
Cradling their baby boy in her arms and her face beaming with joy, Mrs. Obinwanne told our correspondent: “I don’t care if people say social media love doesn’t last, ours has lasted. Just like yesterday, I accepted a Facebook friend request from Nnamdi and today he is my forever.”
Still smiling, she continued: “One day, I got a friend request from someone on Facebook. It was Nnamdi. Apparently he had seen my picture on my cousin’s Facebook friend list. I was a bit curious as to why he would want to have me as a friend, but I didn’t dwell much on the thought. I accepted the request and we became friends. But we didn’t interact until the day I posted my correct phone number on my profile,” she said.
Asked why she did not post her correct phone number initially, the Abia State-born Chioma said she was aware of the distractions that could come with being on the social media; hence she didn’t want unnecessary phone calls from anybody.
“Surprisingly, the day I posted my correct phone number, Nnamdi called me. Strangely, after the call, my heart melted. That was when I decided that I wanted to give him a trial,” she said.
Couples that Facebook, Twitter joined together
Was it love on first sight? “I didn’t fall in love with him immediately. But I saw him as a nice person. Our love grew. I also thought someone like him is hard to find,” she said.
It was a similar feeling from Nnamdi; he did not fall in love with Chioma seeing her for the first time.
He said with his eyes glinting: “She wasn’t everything I expected, but life is not a straight road, sometimes our expectations are not met at first sight. After several meetings and as our relationship grew more mature, I realised that she was just the woman I’ve been searching for.”
Interestingly, at the dawn of their relationship, the couple were based in different cities separated by hundreds of kilometres. While Chioma was based in Abuja, her heartthrob was in Lagos. Despite this, the love grew.
Chioma said, “I was based in Abuja while he was in Lagos, but I didn’t mind. This was probably the only challenge we faced, but I’m someone that likes distant relationships. We finally met three months later after talking on phone and chatting on Facebook for hours.”
First meeting
How was their first meeting? Chioma stared into space glowing with nostalgia and said, “I can still remember that day. I had butterflies in my tummy but it felt as if we had known ourselves for a long time.”
Uche Olatunji and Sanda Omoto also met on social media, but not Facebook. They met on Limbo.
Uche works in one of the top banks in country. But unlike the Obinwannes, his fiancée is not a Nigerian; she is a Kenyan.
It was also not love at first sight for them.
Olatunji said: “I am tall and I told myself I won’t marry someone who is short. I always had the dream of marrying a lady who is slim and tall. My fiancée doesn’t possess any of these physical traits. But after continuous interactions with her, I saw that she has a great heart and that she would be a perfect wife.”
While the Obinwanne battled inter-state distance, Olatunji and Omoto’s was inter-country.
How did they meet? Olatunji answered, “I registered on Limbo, a social media network, some years ago. Almost every evening, I would log on to the page to chat with friends I met there. It had become a ritual for me. My fiancée, who is Kenyan, is also a member of our group. One day, I noticed that during our group chats, Sanda was always picked on by other members of the group, probably because she is on the quiet side. I decided to fight for her. All of a sudden, other members of the group assumed we had a relationship. They used to laugh at us and told us to form our own private group.
“After some time I realised that I couldn’t do without chatting with her every night and vice versa. We grew fond of ourselves. From the little I knew about her, I saw that she is honest and humble.”
Love at first sight?
Olatunji said the day he met her, he couldn’t hold his emotions.
He continued, “The day she finally came down to Nigeria, I was ecstatic. She didn’t come alone though, her mother accompanied since her daughter was meeting me for the first time. I met them at the Murtala Muhammed Airport, Lagos. On seeing her, I couldn’t wait a minute to leave the airport; right there I kissed her passionately. It felt as if my friend had come back home. She stayed for a couple of days before leaving. Since then, she has made several trips to Nigeria.”
Some months ago, Olatunji said he popped the question to Omoto and she accepted immediately.
“We both knew we wanted to be together forever, our wedding will hold in April by God’s grace. We have already discussed issues such as distance, so it would not be a problem. She currently runs a Non-governmental Organisation over there thus I wouldn’t want her to leave Kenya. I plan to make as many trips as I can to Kenya until she is able to get something doing here.”
Ojo Opeoluwa also met his wife, Dr. Olubusayo, on Facebook.
He said, “I met my wife on Facebook in 2011. I saw her picture on a friend’s profile, I guess that was when I fell in love with her. At the time we met, I was observing the National Youth Service Corps scheme while she was a medical student. We finally got married in August 2012.”
The Udogus also met on Facebook but in April 2011. The lovebirds are blessed with one child and are expecting their second one.
For years, Dorine Udogu, said she and her husband were friends on Facebook but never chatted until she posted her Blackberry pin on her profile.
She said, “Since some Facebook users were uploading their BB pin on their profile, I decided to follow suit. Immediately, I got several BB invites from different people including my husband who was just my Facebook friend then. Even after I accepted my husband’s BB invite, we didn’t chat. We began chatting three months later or there about.”
Smiling Dorine continued, “I still remember that day. It was a Thursday. I received a message from him saying ‘hi’ and I replied. We got talking and we realised we are both based in Aba, Abia State. He was surprised and didn’t believe me. To convince him, he requested that I buy him a bunch of bananas the next day. He said he was going to come to my house to pick it up.”
Later that evening, Mrs. Udogu said she received a message from him saying that he was on his way to her place and he needed her phone number to call when he arrived.
“I froze, I became panicky, that was the first time we were seeing each other face-to-face. I didn’t know what to expect. When he finally arrived at my place, I rushed out to meet him and greeted him with a ‘side’ hug. We spoke for just a few minutes then I gave him the bananas and walked away, leaving him standing. He still laughs at me till today. He said I behaved strangely that day.
“My sister called me and insisted I bring him into our house. It was a huge task walking back to where he was standing. I asked if he wanted to come in and he said yes.”
Not knowing how her mother would react, Dorine said she quickly informed her that he was her course mate in school and that he had come to visit her.
She continued, “During their conversation, my mother asked him how he was faring in his studies and he looked shocked. He said he was a graduate and was already working. Right there I wanted the ground to open and swallow me. Surprisingly, my mother didn’t look upset. In fact, they enjoyed each other’s company. My mother entertained him well. We courted till June 2013 when we finally tied the knot. I can proudly say that I’m a happy woman, I’m glad I made the choice of accepting his proposal.”
Social media love gone sour
While their stories ended happily, the opposite is the case in other similar cases.
One of the celebrated social media love stories that went sour in Nigeria is that of Cynthia Osokogu.
According to reports, Cynthia, a 24-year-old postgraduate student of Nasarawa State University was murdered on July 22, 2012 by Okwumo Nwabufo and his 23-year-old cousin, Olisaeloka Ezike, whom she met on Facebook.
Similarly, Loretta Odikagbo, a student of Rivers State Polytechnic, Bori, allegedly connived with other people to murder her boyfriend, Mr. Orisanya, whom she met on Badoo, another social media network.
According to reports, the two who were dating, connected physically and their relationship blossomed over the next months. Along the line, Loretta fell out of love with her lover. And the reason she gave was that he was not fulfilling his promises. The deceased, who was in his early 30s, was a civil engineer at a multinational company in Port Harcourt.
Caution is the word
According to a seasoned relationship counsellor, Lara Kudayisi-Emeralds, searching for love online is not a bad idea, but one has to be careful.
Kudayisi-Emeralds said, “Some dating sites were created to help people find genuine love. However, we all know how human beings misuse a particular thing for other ulterior motives. I would advise any eligible single not to search for love online. Some people have met fraudulent people online who have duped them, kidnapped them and even gone as far as killing them. Do not go looking for love online but if you stumble on someone online who tickles your fancy, please take it offline so as to know the person better and to be sure of their genuineness.”
A relationship and family expert, Mr. Tunde Fowe, also advised intending couples who met on any social media network to take their relation offline.
“We are inundated with stories of online lovers who get to know that they have been scammed after several months of dating. Whereas a relationship can start online, it cannot be sustained online. The challenge then will come if the couple wants to carry on their relationship online – it will be a ‘shallow relationship’ which cannot be thoroughly evaluated for what it is worth.”
Celebrities not left out
There are few celebrities who also found their spouses on social media; including rapper 2shotz and his wife.
According to his wife, Precious, they met themselves on Twitter.
She told SUNDAY PUNCH in an interview, “I met him on Twitter. I can’t remember who followed who first, but I remember he put up a picture of his apartment and I commented without knowing who he was. He thanked me and we got talking. We moved the conversation from Twitter to phone, then to Skype. I was in Ireland, I came to Nigeria for Christmas and we met in person.”
Nollywood actor, Junior Pope Odowondo and wife, Jennifer, also met themselves on Facebook.
Another person who may not be your regular celebrity is Umar Yuguda, Bauchi State’s governor son whose wedding was the talk of town last year.
Umar saw his would-be wife’s beautiful pictures on a social media site. Through the help of a friend who then connected them together, the two bounded and today, they are a happy couple.
While many Nigerians do not see anything wrong in meeting their future partner on the social media, some are averse to it.
However, Mrs. Rita Nwammah who also met her husband on Facebook said there is absolutely nothing wrong with marrying a man she met on any social media network.
She said, “It all depends on the individual. If you have a positive disposition towards the relationship you have with the person you met on any social media site, things will work out. Everything boils down to how you both handle things. There is nothing special about finding love on any social media site. Both of you could have met yourselves in the church, park or anywhere else. Once you are at peace with the person you met, go ahead and give it a try. The main thing is that the person you meet must be someone you connect with. I don’t think social media love is bad neither is there is any stigma attached to it. My marriage is a good example.”
In the same vein, a psychiatrist at the Federal Neuropsychiatric Centre, Yaba, Lagos State, Mrs. Mashudat Mojeed-Bello, said everything boils down to how couples see, relate and are happy with each other.
“The only issue they may have is with the elderly. The first thing adults think about when you mention that you met your partner on a social media site is that you may be an unserious person. This is because our culture sees it as imaginary and different from the norm. Adults see it as not culturally acceptable, thus at the end of the day, everything boils down to how the couples themselves view the whole thing.
On the contrary, Fowe said, “Social media as a platform for people to meet is a valid one. People must meet somewhere. However, meeting each other is only the start of the journey. The real journey starts when both commit themselves to a relationship where they get to know each other for who they really are. If this bit is not there, then there is no relationship. Let me cap it this way – I support social media as platforms where people can meet to start a relationship. I do not however support social media as a place of cultivating and sustaining a relationship.
“Potential couples can get attracted online but they should not be deceived that they can carry on a meaningful relationship online. My advice is – get real. Get to know each other face-to-face. Spend quality (including quantity) time in each other’s company. Evaluate each other and determine whether this is the person you really want. Do this before you say ‘I do’.”
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