Last week, I started this column out by saying, “there probably aren’t many people who had a worse weekend than Donald Trump.” But I had no idea what was coming up for the giant Oompa Loompa that is running for President. I’d say there’s no way in hell it could get worse for the Trumpster, but I’ve learned that when it comes to him, anything is possible.
Because I deplore discussing politics with people who may possibly disagree with me, we’ll just stop that train right here and talk about some people who probably didn’t have as bad of a weekend as Mr. Trump, but more than likely had a worse weekend than you.
The Rutgers Football Team
Going into Saturday’s game versus the No. 4 ranked Michigan Wolverines, Rutgers was a 26.5 underdog, so I can’t imagine that the Scarlet Knights had super high hopes. However, they also didn’t think it was going to be as bad as it was.
Michigan blew out the home team Rutgers 78-0, while holding them to just 39 total yards. No, not just one player – the entire Rutgers team only gained 39 total yards. How bad was it? Well, this graphic from ESPN pretty much lays it out there:
Michigan had five times as many touchdowns as Rutgers had first downs. pic.twitter.com/JKwwMujdtJ
— ESPN Stats & Info (@ESPNStatsInfo) October 9, 2016
Of course, Rutgers also lost 58-0 to Ohio State last week, so at least getting completely embarrassed isn’t new to them.
[via Bleacher Report]
This Cat
There are some people that are dog people and some people that are “cat people.” I actually happen to like both, but I’m not sure I could be a fan of this particular cat if he had held up my commute for over an hour.
This cat would be a lot cuter if he didn't hold up the subway for over an hour https://t.co/n1UmWV89TM
— New York Post Metro (@nypmetro) October 9, 2016
This adorable feline caused a snarl in the New York subway on Sunday when he decided to chill on the track of the Manhattan 7 train at 5th Ave near 42 Street. Concerned bystanders were afraid the cat may get too close to the electrified third rail, so trains were stopped for more than sixty minutes while NYPD transit officers attempted to rescue the cat who had snuggled up between the rails before scurrying into a tunnel. The officers were finally able to catch the transit disrupter, who has been named Pablo and is at a city animal shelter.
However, Pablo’s adventure may come with a happy ending: one of the bystanders is going to adopt him after the 72-hour waiting period is over. So while there were definitely some commuters bitching up a storm on Twitter, fuck those people and yay for Pablo! I like animals more than people anyway.
[via New York Post]
This Bald Eagle
Apparently, it was a bad weekend for animals and modes of transportation.
Bald eagle gets trapped in grille of car in Florida after Hurricane Matthew passeshttps://t.co/K2EgAYFkgG pic.twitter.com/cCPx7xH7Ly
— Daily Mail US (@DailyMail) October 9, 2016
This poor guy got stuck in the grille of a moving vehicle near Jacksonville. Another driver spotted the symbol of freedom still moving and alerted the car’s driver to the bird’s predicament. Emergency responders took a break from Hurricane Matthew recovery operations to free the seven-year-old bird, who was then transferred to a bird sanctuary to be checked for injuries and will be released back into the wild after he gets a clean bill of health.
Yet another animal story with a happy ending?! Yes.
[via Daily Mail]
The NFL
While my personal NFL weekend was fantastic, what with the return of G.O.A.T. and all, the rest of the league is actually not having a great time of it as of late due to a rating’s slump.
According to CNNMoney, four weeks into the season, the league’s ratings are down an average of 11 percent across FOX, CBS, NBC and ESPN. 11 percent probably doesn’t sound like a huge deal, but in this case, it kind of is. During their season, the NFL pretty much owns TV ratings, and advertisers count on them being able to deliver millions and millions of viewers. But with decreased ratings, advertisers are asking themselves if the big money they are shelling out for ads during the games is worth it.
The Monday night and Thursday night games are the year’s biggest losers, both down 17 percent. The Sunday night game is faring a little better, only down 13 percent, while the Sunday afternoon games are only down 3 to 4 percent. Of course, there are plenty of excuses: one of the Monday night games coincided with the most watched presidential debate ever, and the matchups in the night games have been sort of crappy.
So maybe it’s not time for the networks to panic, but they’re locked into their current rights agreements until 2022 so it doesn’t really matter anyway.
[via CNNMoney]
Everyone That Doesn’t Get Columbus Day Off
Whether you live in one of the nineteen states that doesn’t celebrate Columbus Day, or work in a business whose holidays are dictated by the stock market like me, weekends that are “long” weekends for everyone else are totally crappy when you know you have to drag your ass to work on Monday while your friends get to sleep in. .
Image via dean bertoncelj / Shutterstock