What happens when you combine a Kardashian, the son of a killer, and Tila Tequila’s ex-girlfriend? Reality TV.
By the mid-2000s, socialite culture was in full effect. After Paris Hilton uttered the infamous query, “What is Walmart? Do they sell, like, wall stuff?” the media intrusion into the lives of the rich, young, & vapid was at an all-time high. From My Super Sweet 16 to The Princes of Malibu, the obsession with dumb rich kids was at its zenith, and it wasn’t long until E! hopped on the trend too.
In early 2005, Joe Simpson (Successica & Ashlee’s dad) teamed up with Justin Berfield (AKA Reese from ‘Malcolm in the Middle’) to create a celebrity equivalent to City Slickers. Now, before I get into the show, you’re probably wondering: “Why the hell was Papa Joe buddies with Reese?” Well, if you believe everything you read online, there were rumors that they were engaged in a… uhhh… non-professional relationship. Justin even bought Successica’s Newlyweds home after her and Nick’s split.
Anyways, Joe and Justin’s million dollar idea was to take a bunch of celebrity children and toss them onto a Colorado cattle ranch. It was basically The Simple Life, but with more kids. So throughout early 2005, privileged offspring wandered in and out of E!’s offices for interviews:
Some made the cut, others didn’t - such as Kim Kardashian who was originally interviewed for the show, but ended up being replaced by sister Kourtney.
Another face you might recognize in that video is Zoe Winkler, the daughter of the Fonz and sister of Mary-Kate Olsen’s ex-boyfriend Max Winkler.
She was close with many of the it-girls back in the day:
Why Kim and Zoe were cut from the show, though, is a mystery. I reached out to Zoe and Justin Berfield for comment but neither of them responded. Anyways, by the summer of 2005 casting for the show had been completed and production was underway.
The show went through a series of title changes, from “Celebrity Slickers” to “Rich Kids: Cattle Drive”, but by July the promo tour had begun and the show premiered the following month, the same night as The Girls Next Door.
So, like always, let’s take a quick look back at the show and its highlights:
One of the first cast members we met was Kourtney:
She was probably the most monotone of the group, and wasn’t willing to do much:
Then there was her BFF Courtenay, who was arguably the biggest diva on the show:
But she was rivaled by Fabian, who picked fights with nearly everybody and even had pizza delivered to the ranch:
And some more Fabian gems:
Then Alexander, who was pretty much the nicest of the bunch and was constantly picked on by Fabian:
And Haley, who had the hots for Fabian and would always sit in his lap:
Alex, who was one of the nicer group members, but didn’t waste any time making moves on the girls:
Brittny Gastineau rivaled Kourtney for most monotone, and she also had the hots for Alex - causing a little tension between her and Alex’s other admirer, Courtenay.
And then there was Shanna, who honestly didn’t do much, but her and George (who I couldn’t find footage of) were fans of Fabian so that made them a little questionable.
And finally there were the ranch hands who tried keeping everyone in line, but failed when it came to Fabian:
I wish I could include more here, but the show isn’t online or on DVD so I’m running on memory for the most part, but let’s move on to the aftermath since it’s always juicier!
WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
Kourtney Kardashian
Kourtney, as we all know, is the most famous name to come from the show. In fact, Cattle Drive was the first Kardashian foray into reality TV (Kim’s first appearance on The Simple Life was in '06).
After Cattle Drive finished airing, however, it would be a while before the Kardashians returned to E! In that time in between, Kourtney and her sisters started to become regulars on the Hollywood scene - on the arms of Paris Hilton & Nicole Richie of course:
By 2006, the girls - Kim especially - started to rise in fame thanks to their famous pals, and that year also welcomed the opening of the first DASH store in Calabasas:
Also in 2006, Kourtney met her future baby daddy - Scott Disick:
The two met at Joe Francis’ house in Mexico, and at the time Scott’s only exposure to the limelight came from being in background of the occasional Kimberly Stewart paparazzi shot - which, as far as pointless fame goes, is pretty much bottom of the barrel.
It wasn’t until 2007, though, that him and Kourtney started being photographed together at Hollywood hotspots like Hyde and Les Deux:
And, of course, 2007 was the year Keeping Up With The Kardashians premiered, cementing the family’s place in E!’s permanent lineup.
Now, anyone who’s followed me for a while knows I don’t really care about the Kardashians, so I won’t bother narrating Kourtney’s life from 2007 - present (plus I’m sure you all know it anyways) but I will leave you with her only non-reality TV television venture since Cattle Drive went off the air:
lmao
And if you’re wondering if she’s still close with any of her Cattle Drive cast members:
(Courtenay on the far right))
Courtenay Semel
Long before Cattle Drive, the Yahoo! heiress was already mingling with the socialites du jour. She was a childhood friend of the Hiltons and Kardashians, and starred in an unreleased 2002 indie flick called Sweetie Pie about - according to IMDB - “kids who have had too much, too soon.” Her costars included Paris, Kelsey Grammer’s spawn Spencer, and Cisco Adler (of gigantic balls fame - NSFW!!!).
It was after Cattle Drive, however, that her real ascent to Z-list tabloid stardom began. She was quickly spotted out on the town with the famous-for-being-famous set:
And around this time is when her alleged romance with Lilo began!
Reports claimed that the two met at a party in the summer of 2006, and soon after were doing lines together in club bathrooms - a true Hollywood romance. During Lindsay’s stint at Promises in June 2007, Courtenay reportedly visited her frequently and by the winter, the two moved into a house in Beverly Hills together, but they were far from the normal couple.
Lindsay allegedly brought home men often, causing Courtenay to lose her shit and send angry emails to Lindsay from other rooms in the house. Despite the constant fighting, their romance continued well through the winter and into early 2008.
But one thing constantly placing the girls at odds was Lindsay’s refusal to publicly come out, so their fling came to an end… only for Lindsay to proudly galavant around town with SamRo a few months later. When Lindsay was asked about Courtenay’s claims that she was her first lesbian romance, she fired back claiming that it wasn’t true at all. By the summer of 2008, though, Courtenay got over the sting of the Lohan fling with a new partner - Johnson & Johnson heiress Casey Johnson.
That July was greeted by dozens of Page Six reports about their hot new romance, and the casual car theft. Courtenay later revealed in an interview they filmed a sex tape to try and land a reality show called Love Is In The Heiress, but just as quickly as their gazillion dollar love began, it came to a tragic end when Courtenay decided to ditch Casey for Tila Tequila.
By August 2008 the two were already packing on Speidi levels of staged PDA:
And the end of that month is when Courtenay wormed her way into my heart with one little incident in particular. While partying it up at Caesars Palace in Vegas, she got a little out of hand, causing a security guard to try and restrain her. She responded by allegedly punching him in the face and shouting, “Do you even know who I am, fucking idiot? Google me, you dumb fuck!” The incident came with a lawsuit, and even worse - her dad decided to cut her off.
And just as fast as Courtenay lost her inheritance, she lost Tila, too. In November, Tila was spotted hooking up with Justin Long, but Courtenay ended up taking her back, and by December the two were an item once more.
But it wasn’t long until Courtenay was in trouble once again. The following January, a Page Six report claimed that after a fight with a girlfriend, Casey paid Courtenay a visit, but Courtenay wasn’t so willing to patch things up. The report went on to say that Courtenay proceeded to beat the crap out of Casey and then lit her hair on fire, causing Casey to be hospitalized. Despite the brutal beat-down, they were all smiles at Sundance later that month:
A month later Courtenay checked into rehab (to date, she’s been to rehab 8 times) and when she got out she put an end to the toxic Tila romance. By the end of 2009, Tila rebounded with Casey, and an angry Courtenay quickly told the press: “They don’t even speak. Casey can’t stand Tila. They’ve only spoken once, and they’re doing this as a publicity stunt to get back at me.”
But in January 2010, Casey was found dead - the moment Courtenay referred to in an interview as her wakeup call: “Losing Casey, I knew that I could move down that road and not live anymore, or do something different.”
She struck more bad luck that year when someone in her apartment accidentally left a flat iron on the bed, causing the mattress to explode in flames:
But after a brief hospital stint, Courtenay was back on the track to a better life and told X17Online in October that she was getting her masters in clinical psychology at Antioch and she was “gonna save the world 1 teen at a time… watch out Dr. Drew and Dr. Phil!”
In 2014 she told Radar Online that she had become a therapist and that she was planning on opening a treatment center in L.A. where she wants to head the young adult program. Since then, she’s continued to hang out with her Cattle Drive costars Brittny and Kourtney:
In addition to other celeb pals like Mischa Barton, and her ex-girlfriend Lindsay:
And judging by her Instagram posts, she’s been working on a movie script:
I’m not sure what it’s about, but that brings me to my own little Courtenay story. Last May I was checking Twitter when I saw her ranting about a “white trash actress” who she then revealed was Taryn Manning!
Me being the investigative journalist I am (or shit stirrer, whatever you want to call it) I decided to press her for more details and she told me that she planned on “exposing everyone” and that some actresses shouldn’t act like divas when there’s someone “younger and prettier” around the corner. Hmm… still waiting on that exposé Nay!
Brittny Gastineau
Long before E! started pushing the Kardashians on the world, there was another reality TV family they were trying to make happen, but failed at spectacularly: The Gastineaus.
In early 2005, the channel aired a show dedicated to mother-daughter duo of Lisa and Brittny Gastineau called Gastineau Girls.
Lisa’s the ex-wife of football player Mark Gastineau (who ditched her for Brigitte Nielsen) and scored socialite-status due to a pretty divorce settlement, and Brittny was her aspiring-model spawn. For a while, the girls were being hyped up by the media as the new Hiltons, and were spotted at various parties, premieres, and runway shows:
But while things might’ve sounded like a moderate success on paper, Gastineau Girls ended up being a total flop and got cancelled after its second season (a shame tbh, it was a super fun mess). With two reality TV stints down the drain, Brittny decided to stick to the sidelines and let pals like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian steal the show:
You know how some people are just better off being the “friend”? That’s pretty much Brittny’s existence. In fact, her longest reality TV gig to date is appearing as Kim’s friend on Keeping Up With The Kardashians:
That’s sad, huh.
It wasn’t until a couple of years later that Brittny scored another second in the spotlight, but the reason why… well… wasn’t too great:
In 2009, Brittny appeared in a brief segment of Sacha Baron Cohen’s Bruno. In her segment, she was questioned about Jamie Lynn Spears’ pregnancy, asking if Jamie Lynn’s fetus was “white trash” - Brittny agreeing that it was - and then she was asked: “Keep it or abort it?” Brittny responded “Abort it!”
Immediately after the film’s release she faced some backlash for her segment, but responded by claiming that she was in on the joke and only “spoofing” herself. Sadly, it didn’t matter what she said because her appearance in the film was the last bit of media attention she’d receive for quite some time. In fact, the only things she’s appeared in since the film include an episode of America’s Next Top Model, more episodes of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, and an episode of Entertainment Tonight in which she was interviewed, not about herself, but about Kim.
~Ashlee_Simpson_Shadow.mp3~
Aside from media appearances, she’s received tabloid attention every now and then. In 2008 Page Six claimed she screamed at two girls to “act like ladies” after they bumped into her outside a party in the Hamptons. Later that year, reports claimed that Kevin Federline was pining after her, but she wasn’t the least bit interested. Not long after, a report claimed she was robbed of a $20,000 watch while making out with Doug from The Hills at her birthday party.
In 2010, she met her 20-year-old half brother who she didn’t know existed, and she was also rumored to be dating Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps:
And the following year she was allegedly kicked out of a Backstreet Boys’ concert after Nick Carter’s then-girlfriend Lauren spotted her backstage, but Brittny shut down this report by claiming that her and Nick “never dated”, and that she never gets “thrown out of parties, LOL.” Sure.
In recent years she tried scoring another reality show - one about “crazy over-the-top beauty treatments” but it never happened. In 2014 she and her mom got hit with a massive lawsuit after a jewelry designer claimed the girls’ were ripping off their designs:
And later that year she was the center of more negative attention after she strolled out of a Hollywood restaurant with a black eye:
Rumors swirled as to how she got it, but quickly TMZ broke that Brittny was viciously attacked by her former boyfriend - graffiti artist Marquis Lewis AKA 'Retna’ - in a West Hollywood hotel room.
Shortly after the incident the two were spotted together again, but they ended things not long after. Since then, Brittny briefly dated Luis Miguel, and hosted a live series on the app Meerkat called Sincerely Britt. Now she just posts makeup tutorials and old modeling shots on Instagram:
Her legacy, though, will be forever immortalized by a quote from Alexis Neiers. In early 2010, when 'The Bling Ring’ was the hottest story in Hollywood, reports claimed Brittny was one of their targets. She told the press that she was “shocked” and criticized E! for glorifying the kids’ crimes by giving Alexis a show. Alexis fired back at her with this unforgettable response:
“Brittny who? I have no idea who she is.”
Fabian Basabe
Fabian was the true star of the show. Like PC on NYC Prep and Spencer Pratt on The Hills, his antics were the focus of every episode. He later said in an interview with Paper that it was Papa Joe’s intention from the start of the show to edit him into being the asshole, if that was the case, he definitely made the process easy. But Cattle Drive wasn’t the first time Fabians’ antics caught the public eye; in 2004 he made the cover of NY Daily News after pictures surfaced of him dancing with Barbara Bush:
And around that time his less-than-spotless record started hitting Page Six on the regular. His rap sheet ranged from DUIs and speeding, to being dismissed from Pepperdine University for submitting a paper he bought online. He was quickly dubbed the “male Paris Hilton” and began mingling with the likes of Tinsley Mortimer, Lydia Hearst, and Olivia Palermo (The bland mid-00s Manhattan socialite trifecta):
He also became a favorite of Gawker, who relentlessly covered his messiness (and alleged gayness) - such as a July 2005 incident in which Fabian was partying it up in the Hamptons with Brittny and Haley and had a bit too much to drink.
Pretty soon he was swinging from rafters, knocking over Lizzie Grubman and Jonathan Cheban, and fighting the bouncers who tried to drag him out of the club. When security asked him to calm down, he reportedly tossed his Amex Black Card at them and shouted: “Don’t worry about what I’m doing, here’s my Amex.” As security dragged him out, he realized he left his sweater inside and began to cry: “I want my navy blue Prada! I speak six fucking languages, I have diplomatic immunity… do you understand me, Negros? You fucking Negros!”
Later that year he got married to the La Perla heiress, Martina Borgomanero - probably a financially-based decision considering he wasn’t even that wealthy to begin with.
It turns out he was bullshitting his own high society status for the most part, with claims that his father was a telephone mogul from Ecuador, when in reality he was a Florida hotel owner with two failed restaurants and had been in and out of court for his inability to pay bills on time, in addition to frequent bankruptcy filings.
Take note kids, if you pretend to be rich, you can actually become rich.
In 2006 Fabian became the subject of even more media taunting when he sued Bungalow 8 with allegations that the doorman hit him, and then a few months later he got busted for running a red light while hammered.
By 2007 he had begun the dreaded process of becoming irrelevant. Just as fast as he had risen to minimal notoriety, he slipped into the void of has-been celebutantes.
He tried to revive his fame for a hot second in 2008 with an idea for a show called The Mean Boys - the plot being him opening a lounge in LA with his friends and deciding who’d be worthy of letting in and who could kiss the curb - but to the surprise of no one, it didn’t get picked up. Soon after, he was arrested for pissing in an alley outside Hollywood’s Crown Club - payback for blogging about Tyra Banks shitting herself during Fashion Week earlier that year.
After one more embarrassing incident in which he was caught trying to sneak in (uninvited of course) to a Chateau Marmont party, he decided to accept his irrelevance, and his mealticket/wife quickly announced she was pregnant with their first child.
Since then, he’s continued to linger from party to party, update his blog for Paper (his 2007 sit-down with Ann Coulter is a personal favorite), and hang with his former co-star Brittny:
Here are some recent pictures:
~Oblig~
Gawker loved that one.
Alex Quinn
Before appearing on Cattle Drive, Alex had already tried following in the footsteps of his Oscar-winning dad Anthony Quinn, but he had little success. He mostly landed duds, such as Last Goodbye with Faye Dunaway’s son Liam:
After Cattle Drive, he appeared in a few more budget flicks and continued getting into events based on his last name:
And now he runs the W Hotel’s Sunday Jazz Nights, where everybody from Prince to Justin Bieber has performed.
Here’s a recent picture:
mess…
Haley Giraldo
Before appearing on Cattle Drive, Haley had already appeared on TV several times with her mother Pat Benatar. In 2002 she was ’Miss Golden Globe’:
And that year she also appeared on a TV special with her mom called “Rock 'n’ Moms” alongside Carole King, Faith Evans, Nancy Wilson and their offspring:
The following year she appeared on a game show called Hollywood Squares:
And she also toured with her mom as part of a girl group named GLO for a hot second in the early '00s:
After appearing on Cattle Drive she spent her days navigating the Hollywood club circuit with the likes of Tila Tequila:
And in recent years she’s continued to do the same, but now she has a new look…
~BEFORE~
~AFTER~
This is one of those scenarios where I really believe you need to undergo psychiatric evaluation before visiting Dr. 90210.
Since her makeover, she’s spent her days drunkenly rambling to paparazzi:
And she’s also buddies with Nicole Scherzinger?
She did, however, finally achieve the sliver of fame she set out for many years ago - by being linked to a guy from One Direction:
In early 2014, Star reported that Haley had been dating Harry Styles after the two met at a One Direction concert the year before. The report also claimed that Harry would send her gifts and talk to her every single day even while he wasn’t in LA. Both Harry’s reps and Haley squashed the rumors pretty fast:
Where do they come up with such crazy stories w zero merit! U keep ur personal life private, and people just make up there own stories!
— Haley giraldo (@haleygiraldo) February 5, 2014
Since then, Haley’s slipped back into complete irrelevance. As for her current career? She designs jewelry.
Shanna Ferrigno
Years before appearing on Cattle Drive, Shanna had appeared on an episode of Blind Date:
After Cattle Drive, Shanna didn’t try her hand at reality TV again until 2011 when her family gunned for a show called The Incredible Ferrignos - it didn’t get picked up.
Aside from reality TV, Shanna’s also tried her hand at acting, with appearances on the shows Windfall and Days of Our Lives under her belt. She also produced a web series called The Jace Hall Show about video games.
And now she runs a fitness YouTube channel with her dad Lou:
Here are some recent pictures:
George Foreman III
Before appearing on Cattle Drive, George had appeared in several TV specials about his famous dad. After Cattle Drive, he appeared on another reality show - Family Foreman - for one season in 2008:
The following year he made his boxing debut, following in the footsteps of his father:
And now he serves as executive vice president of George Foreman Enterprises, in addition to being a fitness trainer at his own gym - Everybody Fights - in Boston. He describes his signature class - “Boxfit” - as a combination of rowing, yoga, spinning, kettlebells, suspension training, and boxing.
Here’s a recent picture:
Noah Blake
Before Cattle Drive, Noah had appeared on dozens of TV shows, including ER, V.I.P., General Hospital, 21 Jump Street, and Married with Children. He also played Rhet in the cinematic masterpiece Teen Witch:
And aside from his acting, his personal life also received a fair amount of attention prior to his reality TV debut. My fellow Investigation Discovery channel junkies will remember that his famous dad, Robert Blake, totally killed someone!
A week after the murder of his stepmom Bonnie Lee Bakley, Noah defended his dad on Larry King stating that he was “innocent, period.”
Whether or not his tune on the case has changed in recent years isn’t clear, but after Cattle Drive, Noah tried his hand at stand-up comedy:
And now he teaches online acting classes:
Here are some recent pictures:
Alexander Clifford
After appearing on Cattle Drive, the son of English Lord Thomas Clifford went on to appear in the WE tv show American Princess. The show was the reality TV equivalent of My Fair Lady, the gist being that a group of American girls were taken to London to learn manners and other princess-y things. Alexander appeared as one of the girls’ escorts in the finale coronation ball.
Since then, he’s kept a low-profile, but gained slight media attention (Okay, just the Daily Mail) in 2013 when he got engaged to an Australian woman named Caitlin Blake-Lane. The two met - and fell in love - at the 2012 Melbourne Cup, but she had no idea that he was loaded until she was flipping through a magazine one day and saw an article about his huge house and rich family.
Alexander took her back to England where the two got married, and now she devotes half of her time to her law firm in London and the other half to hosting pheasant shoots with him at their swanky estate in Chudleigh.
Couples who shoot together, stay together @UgbrookePark #bankholiday #practicemakesperfect #shooting #devonlife pic.twitter.com/zzFlg9GS8l
— Caitlin Blake-Lane (@Dr_Caitlin) May 25, 2015
The Ranch Hands
Jerad continues to run the ranch with his family:
And Luke Bryan visited it once:
Joshua now works for Roper Apparel & Footwear, a brand that specializes in ’authentic western wear.’
He was also on the cover of American Cowboy:
Didn’t even know that was a thing.
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Hope you guys enjoyed the post! If you really want to see the show, I’d suggest you send an email to E! asking them to give it a DVD release. I sent one earlier this week! Here are some of my other Where Are They Now posts:
- 8th & Ocean
- NYC Prep
- Flavor of Love
- MTV’s Rich Girls
- The God Warrior
Shoutout to the legendary hotasice for gifs!