2016-03-04

ciraeus:

I don’t claim to create any of these and please feel free to add on bUT HERE YOU GO YOU PRECIOUS DORKS HAVE FUN

General

Coffee Shop AU

together literally every day AU

vet clinic AU

college professors AU

on a train together and the train is stopped in the middle of nowhere for some reason AU

Letter found in an old notebook AU

Road trip across the country and accidentally crossing paths AU

Work at the same shitty restaurant and have all the same shitty shift times AU

Record store AU

basically just like a coffee shop AU but with music

Always getting the same cashier when checking out at Target no matter what day it is AU

1950’s diner AU

Youtubers AU

Found the phone number of an old childhood friend in some box at the back of your closet and decided to call it to see if it still worked AU

‘I live in the apartment below yours and I keep getting your mail this needs to stop dammit’ AU

Going up to the mountains for Christmas and getting stuck at the ski resort because of bad weather AU

ENGLISH LOVE AFFAIR AU

Going to the fair and rocking the Ferris wheel seat so the person sitting next to you clings to you like a lifeline AU

Walked into the wrong classroom and didn’t realize until halfway through AU

Hugged to wrong person from behind AU

Waved back at someone who wasn’t waving to you in the first place AU

snowed in AU

lives alone in the woods and finds a confused lost person walking around AU

finding a puppy on the side of the road AU

asthma attack without the inhaler in the middle of the night and the other one has to calm them down AU

spy AU

con artists AU

grew up as best friends but you got hot over the summer can I touch ur biceps AU

scared of flying AU

“I have no idea how to work this washing machine, can you help me?“

person A asking for directions from person B because they’re new in town and hopelessly lost

constantly fighting for the best seat in the library/coffee shop/whatever

Neighbors who only meet because I cannot get this stupid jar open, can you help?

Argue over the last jar of cranberry sauce at the 7/11 au.

Both stood up on blind dates au

Buddy cop au

1940s noir au

Meet in a diner at 2am au

Patients on the same hospital ward au

while volunteering in the library for a summer reading scheme, got talking to the guy who brought cousins to sign up au

talked for hours in a queue for tickets au

asked for advice for a recipe in the supermarket because you had no internet connection au

showed you had to use the gym equipment and then turned out to be your gym class instructor au

met at a Renaissance  faire AU

sat next to each other on a roller coaster AU

got locked out of dorm room AU

camping in the same area AU

hurricane during a beach trip AU

met at a card game competition AU

kids go to the same school AU

repairman AU

strip club AU

surfer AU

private security AU

Deep into Character Development AU

meeting while waiting for hours on end in the emergency room au

monopoly night au

commiserating on a night shift at McDonalds au

you were the only one that offered to help me move in au

marching band au

sharing a high school textbook and leaving each other notes and answers in page corners au

working in a museum au

panicked yelling in unison because of lost baggage in between connecting flights au

I keep calling tech support because you’re helpful and also your voice is really cute au

rival ice cream trucks au

you helped me get my kayak upright so we’re friends forever au

competitive buskers who eventually form a band au

newspaper advice columnists who passive-aggressively diss one another in their advice au

working at a theatre together during the midnight premiere of a blockbuster au

Coffee shop AU

found their phone number in a library book au

hitchhiker ride au

met through online rpg au

accidentally taking each other’s bags au

camp councilors au

antiques shop au

called the wrong number while drunk au

sex shop au

found your their dog au

crashed the their car au

yoga class au

public demonstration au

Both Speak a Different Language and Have to Communicate Another Way AU

Small Town Lovers AU

Road Trip AU

meeting on Tumblr au

artists au

lost in a museum au

meeting on an online game au

art shop au

mattress store au

Goth au

grocery store au

wrong apartment au

pizza delivery au

on the same sports team au

Arranged Marriage AU

CIA AU

Fallen Angel AU

James Bond AU

Fashion Designer AU

Dancer AU

CEO AU

Band on a Tour AU

reached for the last snack item at the same time au

accidentally ‘borrowed’ their towel at their gym au

saw their number graffitied on a toilet stall au

parents signed them up for the same shitty art/science program au

met on omegle au

thirst follow au

mail keeps coming to the wrong address au

I think your dog likes my dog” au

Wrong bag AU

Hey can I use your charger AU

Missed the same flight AU

Accidentally fall asleep on stranger AU

Can I use your hotspot AU

Running late for same flight AU

Get in the same cab AU

Share the same layover AU

Racing on the walkway AU

Hot pilot AU

Sitting by the same wall plug AU

Getting lost in the airport AU

Last bag of gummy bears in the machine AU

Thinking they’re someone else and jump hugging them AU

Airport bar AU

Commenting on the TV in the gate AU

Can I borrow money for the pay phone AU

Huge storm all planes grounded AU

Stuck in the subway AU

Huge blizzard only one room left in the hotel AU

Both in the smoking room AU

Scared of flying and needing comfort AU

In line together AU

Grabbed wrong shoes in security AU

Grabbed wrong anything in security AU

Being patted down AU

Don’t speak the language AU

Help with wheel chair AU

Took the wrong phone off the charger station AU

Plane pressure drop and helping with the mask AU

Only one on late night bus AU

Wrong tour group AU

Oops went the wrong way AU

Why didn’t you recycle that AU

My airplane TV screen doesn’t work can I watch yours AU

Heard childhood best friends name being called on the loudspeaker AU

Heard first loves name being called AU

Ghost haunting airport AU

Only open seat in a diner AU

Can I have a stick of gum AU

Wearing the same shirt as a stranger AU

How many ways do you think we could smuggle drugs AU

Actually smuggling drugs AU

Human trafficking AU

Left wallet in a cab AU

Talking about art in a museum AU

Both typing essays on plane and helping each other AU

Rival teams heading to the same tournament AU

Vampires

Band heroes

Librarians

Office romance/bromance

Genderbend

Hospital staff

Hollywood

Broadway

Bandits/criminals

Medieval

Modern

shape shifter au

road trip au

stripper au

elevator stopped and we can’t get out au

one is a ghost au

debate on a mutual friends status au

librarian assistant au

dog walker au

internet friends au

scared of flying on a plane au

amnesia au

bookshop au

high school teachers au

goes to wrong apartment when drunk au

music store au

cross dresser au

foster care au

witness protection au

meet in online rpg au

picked a random number in a phone book and got you au

ice skaters au

roller skaters au

dancing partners au

singing partners au

mermaid au

stuck in an elevator together au

daycare au

yoga class au

Disney au

meeting on a vacation au

gangsters/ mobsters au

dystopian au

utopian au

wizard AU where one accidentally apparates into the wrong house

bffs when they were little but one moved away and they run into each other again AU

archaeologist AU

paramedic AU

ghosts in love AU

go to the same support group AU

just keep running into each other everywhere AU

younger siblings are best friends AU

ski patrol au

McDonalds au

you work at the ice cream stand across from my hamburger place and you’re cute au

the electricity went out and I don’t have candles au

you turned up at my door sopping wet and I don’t know what else to do au

reached for the last item on the shelf au

detention au

playing romantic interests in a play au

time travel au

summer camp au

sat next to each other on the train/airplane/bus au

stuck in an airplane au

went on the school trip together au

ballet au

Boarding school au

romantic comedy scriptwriters AU

Disney world characters au

Picking apples at grocery store when all of them fall down AU

Modern royalty AUs

Egyptologists AUs

Book club AUs

Met at comic con AUs

Lifeguard AUs

1920s con artists AUs

Time traveling AUs

Struggling artists AUs

incredibly long cross-country train ride AU

police procedural AU

bookstore AU

reluctant teammates that save the world together AU

platonic living together AU

lawyers AU

stuck-in-an-airport-because-the-flights-were-SO-VERY-delayed-and-it’s-like-two-am AU

sent to live with cousins AU

pretending to be siblings because of reasons AU

teaming up to rescue respective abducted children AU

pseudo-adopting-the-runaway-I-ran-into AU

forget high school students AU I want a high school teachers AU

law school AU

on the same college tour AU

trapped in a bank during a robbery AU

forced to share a table at the coffee shop a couple days in a row because crowded coffee shop and no room AU

DOCTORS AU

medical school AU

ride the same bus

Domestic AUs

Sock skating in the newly waxed floors.

Fighting over the thermostat settings.

Movie night on the couch.

With nowhere else to be, they both spend their rare day off at home.

Hosting a holiday party for their mutual friends.

Game night.

“Oh! Hey! Could you come and taste this to see if it’s okay?”

Your stray red item turned my whites pink.

Rosh ambo to see who has to go talk to the neighbors upstairs for being too loud.

Swapping “miracle cure recipes” for hangovers.

Having to put up holiday decorations together after a big fight.

Target practice with marshmallow shooter and the local kit of pigeons.

Power outage causes them to have dinner by candle light.

“My parents are coming over in 10 minutes so please put some clothes on”

Person A is sick and Person B takes care of them.

“What is ______ doing in the freezer?”

Person A runs into Person B’s one-night stand at breakfast.

Sharing book titles/CDs.

Volunteers to investigate the strange noises coming from the closet.

Begrudgingly adopts the cat that climbed in through the open window and hid in said closet.

The ceiling is leaking. Who wants to deal with the apartment manager?

Person A suspect the new neighbors are serial killers. Person B attempts to placate them.

Choosing to repaint the apartment and goes to the hardware store together to pick out color swatches.

Thunderstorm cuddles

Roommate/Neighbors AU

‘friend of a friend needs a place to stay before they get evicted’ au

‘roommate falls in the shower and breaks an arm’ au

‘roommate has a nightmare and doesn’t want to sit alone at night’ au

‘new roommate cooks alone for the first time and almost burns down the house’ au

‘roommate gets sick and needs tissues and cough sweets and soup’ au

‘overhearing roommate singing in the shower to find out they sound angelic’ au

'My roommate is kind of hot?????’

Walks in on roommate crying while watching a movie in the living room.

my roommate’s boyfriend is staying over so can I please sleep on your floor

walking in on hot roommate masturbating oh my god

Sorry my roommate puked on your shoes

“wait, you’re not the roommate I requested”

Neighbors in a shitty apartment building that share a sense of solidarity for each other (also a mutual attraction because hot what)

Romance!

I promise I’m not hitting on you but you smell really good"

Sleepy kisses AU

Inappropriately timed confessions

INAPPROPRIATELY TIMED PROPOSALS

At a ski lodge and somehow got stuck outside in the middle of the storm but hey look there’s a conveniently abandoned cabin I guess the logical thing to do is go in there and snuggle for warmth for the night

Seeing love interest in formal wear for the first time whaaat

Everyone thinks they’re dating and then they start wondering if they’re dating

Oops friend looks like the only place to sleep in this house is this small, twin-sized bed, guess we’ll have to share

Crashed the wrong wedding and now the best man/maid of honor is on my ass, but hey they’re kinda hot so???

drama school rivals being cast as romantic opposites because they have “crazy sexual tension” according to their director AU

You belong to a rival team, but I’m falling head first for you and I’m trying my hardest to not throw the championship game away au.

I see you with the same person all the time and I assume you two are in a relationship so I’ll just pine for you from a distance au.

We’ve been together for a while now and I want to have a family with you but don’t know how to approach the topic since you made it pretty clear that you dislike children au.

you’re in the air force and I’m in the marines and deeply in love you, but I’m not sure if it’s possible for us to be anything because I just got my orders and I’ll be an ocean away from you au.

Drunk dialed/texted ex/crush oh hell

We met years ago when you helped me find my mom when I got lost in the mall and I never forgot your soft smile even after all these years au.

I work the late shift at the bar and you recently started being a regular during the evening, always looking like a wreck and one day I finally worked up the nerve to ask if you were okay. You tell me how you have twins and the mother/father left and you don’t know what to do so you’re drinking your problems away au.

You’re my tutor on a subject that I can easily ace but I’m only acting stupid because I really want to know how your lips taste and feel like against mine au.

I’m a criminal detective investigating a murder and you’re a suspect. You definitely look the part of a murderer… unfortunately. It should be illegal to be that hot and menacing au.

You and I meet at a bachelor/ette show with both of us hoping to get with, well, the bachelor/ette only to find and fall for each other au.

'I guess we’ll have to share the bed’

'maybe we should pretend to date’

'Oh no….look like we trapped in this closet together….’

kissed them as a distraction while stealing their wallet au

I can’t go alone to my ex’s wedding

Omg our car broke down in a snowstorm

Hot single dad hires broke babysitter

“we’re the only ones who didn’t get the email about class being canceled” au

“we’re the only ones on campus who didn’t go home for Christmas” au

“can u help me sneak my cat into my dorm” au

“accidentally got assigned the same library study room so I guess we’ll have to share for the semester” au

“It’s raining and u forgot your umbrella so come over and stand under mine while we wait for the bus” au

EVERYTHING IS THE SAME BUT

antlers AU

wings AU

spirit animal that follows them around AU

It rains ducks AU (Like the bird. Srs)

name on the wrist for soulmate AU

first words of what your soulmate says to you on wrist AU

every time a person falls in love, a red line like a tally mark appears on their wrist More info here

PEN PALS or LETTERS

pen pals AU

pen pals for class au

Pen pals who meet in person for the first time AU

pen pals who vent at each other every week au

APOCALYPSE

Apocalypse survivors au

'Maybe if we met before the apocalypse I could have loved you properly.’ AU

being reunited after surviving the zombie apocalypse unknowing if the other was alive or dead AU

Random

“are we both robbing the same house oh fuck” AU

growing up together in a rough neighborhood AU

mutual friends always dragged to the same inane barbecues AU

'I heard you singing backstreet boys at 3am and decided to sing along oops’ AU

’ holy shit I’m in the wrong car’ AU

LASER TAG AU

‘Omg I can’t believe you still listen to CDs let me help you digitize’ AU

’ I know you steal my Wi-Fi to watch porn but it’s kind of hot idk’ AU

'My pet really hates your pet’ AU

’ Customer that knows wayyyy more than the brand new employee please help me out’ AU

'I was walking by the roller coasters and SOMEONE’S SHOE FLEW OFF AND HIT ME IN THE HEAD” AU

'dude I know we don’t know each other but my swim trunks came off when I jumped in the water can you grab them for me’ AU

”it’s 2am and I’m drunk and I need some goddamn French fries right now so open your fucking door’ AU

SWIM TEAM AU

'got mistaken for a celebrity by the celebrity’s biggest fan’ AU

'this person just fell asleep on me in the subway but they’re cute so whatever’ AU

'sorry I set the fire alarm in our building off again for the forty-eighth time I was trying to cook’ AU

'so YOU’RE the douchebag who keeps mowing their lawn while I’m trying to sleep’ AU

'I know nothing about camping will you help me I think I heard a bear’ au

WINDOW WASHER AU

'we’re literally the only two kids who ride this school bus maybe we should carpool or make out or something’ AU

'I hired you off craigslist to be my date for a wedding’ AU

’I’m a werewolf but I’m embarrassed to tell you because my wolf form is more like a Chihuahua’ AU

'we both tried to rob a bank at the same time’ AU

fighting a squirrel AU

”your sandcastle is pathetic” beach au

'I’m pretending to be ur bff because u looked VERY uncomfortable with that person at the bar hitting on u’ AU

'What the fuck are you doing it’s midnight why are you playing 'My Heart Will Go On’ on the piano’ AU

Alternatively, ‘I’m going to lean out the window and sing along until you fucking stop and wonder who else is singing’ AU

'Your cat keeps getting into my house and I don’t even know how would you care to explain’ AU

'I forgot to do my homework so I’m just going to copy off of you and hope that you didn’t get the answers wrong’ AU

“which asshole hasn’t returned the DVD I want yet” au

Model who looks and acts really professional at the photo shoot but is actually a huge nerd AU

AU where they are coincidentally seated next to each other at a sports game as strangers and get caught by the Kiss Cam

Stole a car with someone sleeping in the back seat [Turns out that the car had already been stolen so basically you just stole a stolen car] AU

I lost a bet and I am a man of my word so here I am about to get a bikini wax for the first time. I knew it was going to be painful but what I wasn’t expecting was that a really hot guy going to do the waxing and now I’m trying failing to not get a hard on au.

We’re guild mates in a mmorpg and I’ve only ever heard your voice and I may or may not have jacked off to you just talking while I had my mic off. And now I accidentally forgot to turn it off and you heard me breathing hard moaning your name as I came on myself au.

Our families loathe each other because we’re competing for the best pizza restaurant title and now they asked us to get close to each other to steal the opposing family’s secret. But the thing was that we’ve been together for months so we fake a fake relationship and give our family false information au.

rival superhero’s who are trying to protect the same small city

posted a joke ad in the classifieds but someone actually responded

person A who sits in the back of every staff meeting and makes snarky comments under their breath about everyone the whole time and person B who arrived late and sat next to them and can barely hold in their laughter

“we both got in separate bar fights downtown and now we’re waiting in the ER comparing stories" au

“accidentally fell in your lap while standing on this crowded bus” au

“tried to get the candy bar that didn’t drop out of the vending machine and now my hand is stuck can u help me out” au

“I rented the apartment above your flower shop and in the last two months you’ve gotten a new flower I’m allergic to so I keep buying bouquets until I can figure out which kind it is” au

“you know you’re singing to your headphones out loud, right” au

beat the crap out of each other in online multiplayer au

worked really well together in online co-op au

met while buying condoms at the corner store

little kids getting way too caught up in make-believe AU

got involved in a heated game of Smash Bros. at a con AU

Movies, Anyone?

Labyrinth au!

Jurassic park au?

Bonnie and Clyde or Thelma and Louise au

GREASER/SOCS AU OH MY GOD

Breaking Bad AU

FRIENDS AU

Zombie AU

Season 5 of SPN AU

Lucifer and Michael AU

Backpacking Across Europe AU

Kingdom Hearts AU

Mermaid AU

Beauty and the Beast AU

Adam and Eve AU

Noah’s Ark AU

Fight club au

Murder mystery au

Reality TV show au

Both cosplay the same character at a con au

Sitting next to each other in the theatre au.

It Takes Two to Tango

Soldiers on opposing side au

Prisoner and prison guard au

war prisoner/captor who lets them go but they want to stay AU

One character is an angel and one is a demon au

Taken hostage at the bank au

Alternatively, Hostage Taker and Hostage

Tailor and customer au

Next to each other on a turbulent plane journey au

both turned to look at a cute kid and saw each other au

got debating on a mutual friend’s status au

asked a library helper for reading advice and got excited about the same books au

Sitting in Detention AU

Asking a date to Prom AU

Proposal AU

Wedding Planner and Wedding Caterer AU

Actor/Rock star and agent AU

Author and Illustrator AU

Vet and Pet Owner AU

School Rivals AU

7 minutes in heaven/Truth or Dare AU

Stuck in an Elevator for 3+ hours AU

Book Seller and Customer AU

Running from the police AUs

Librarian AUs

Rebels against the government AUs

Internet friends AUs

Rock star and groupie AUs

Accidentally read his/her diary AUs

photographer and model AU

writer and editor AU

immortal and non-immortal AU

Immortal and Methuselah AU

screenwriter and director AU

Greek god and roman counterpart AU

We were skiing/snowboarding and got on the same lift and now the lift is stuck au

runaway royalty and confused commoner AU

android and human AU

orchestra player/pianist and concertgoer AU

mailman(/woman) and person who receives a lot of mail AU

private detective and client AU

protester and police officer AU

lab partners AU

new neighbors AU

one’s blind and falls in love with the other’s voice AU

hair stylist/makeup artist and actor/model AU

cat/dog runs away and other person finds it AU

mistaken identity AU

sit next to each other in orchestra/band/class AU

Partners in (literal) crime AU (theft? fraud? hacking? murder?)

partners in dance class AU

trapped on a deserted island together AU

crashed their car au

psychologist/ patient au

teacher/ student au

fell asleep on a stranger au

Superhero and/or Villain AU

understudy for play/musical au

date auction for charity

alternatively, buyer and the date

rescuing their partner from a recon mission gone wrong AU

Run into each other in a hospital while there for really stupid reasons

Both have same obscure taste in music and meet in a dark corner of a music store

‘camp counselors at the same sleep away camp’ au

‘my new FBI partner/consultant is really hot’ au

‘we have to sing a duet together but I hate you’ au

‘I should not be this attracted to the new intern’ au

‘you accidentally shipped this weird thing to my apartment’ au

‘my new best friend’s sibling is so hot’ au

‘forced lab partners’ au

‘you just joined the -sports team here- that I’m the captain of’ au

‘we both tried to grab the last copy of that book in the shop’ au

‘we went to a con/party dressed as a couple on accident’ au

‘my roommate’s best friend is really obnoxious but also hot’ au

‘we’re the only ones in this subway car and the metro broke down’ au

the ‘new bartender at my favorite bar is unfairly attractive’ au

Fuckin’ Assholes

kept kicking the back of my chair at the theatre au

tried breaking into my flat when they were drunk because they thought it was theirs au

always arrives at the cafeteria 30 seconds before me and takes the last sandwich I like au

repeatedly comes into the shop I work at and picks up a lettuce then half way through the shop

decides they don’t want the lettuce and puts it back on the shelf next to them regardless of what aisle they’re in au

HALLOWEEN

I tried to buy all the Halloween candy in a store before you could

Met trying to grab the last of a costume in a specific size

Came to the wrong Halloween party

Wore the same exact costume

Surprise decorating neighbor’s yard with fake spiders/webs

Pranked the wrong person on accident

Grabbed at the same time for the last copy of a scary movie

Came to investigate someone screaming next door

The kids we’re escorting to trick or treat dropped their bags

Accidentally scared a kid and their adult is angry

Dog chased me up a tree when I tried to knock on the door

Tried to get the last perfectly round pumpkin at the same time

You took my pumpkin pie on accident and I have your apple one

I ran out of candy and aren’t you too old to be trick or treating

Hugged/kissed wrong person in a costume like my friend’s.

Stuck in the same group for a haunted house and grabbed each other when something jumped out at them

'I was unaware that there was an organized zombie crawl going on and I didn’t realize you were in a costume and I screamed in your face because I truly thought I was facing a zombie invasion’ au

COLLEGE

turns out that random hookup from the club sits right next to you in your favorite class

skipping class to get high

I really need to pass this midterm and rumor has it you have the best study guide"

I’m really passionate about this cause and I will give you this flier if I have to shove it down your throat

vicious battle over the only left handed desk in the room

It’s pouring and my final paper is in my backpack so I guess we’re stuck under this tiny awning together. do you think they’d deliver pizza here

hey I have to photograph someone for class will you be my model

hey I have to take someone’s blood pressure for class will you be my victim

I know I keep coming to the cookie shop and for some reason it’s always your shift but don’t you dare judge me I need these for my sanity

all our friends are drunk

it’s 3 am and I’m still in the library studying for finals and I’m losing my grip on reality and I think I just saw a ghost

We’re the only two people in this club. what is this club even for

humans vs zombies (see you can still have your zombie AU, best of both worlds)

we’re the only people who ever talk in discussions it’s awful

GROUP PROJECT

#both of us turned up at the wrong room for this lecture but don’t know where its meant to be

waiting outside for pizza to be delivered and both of ours are super late

you keep parking in the space outside my student house you absolute asshole

we live in halls opposite each other and I keep seeing you changing through your window

#you’re the only other person in the room when I break the printer and I’m panicking

Neither of us bought the expensive textbook but there is only one copy in the library and it can’t leave the building

This awesome professor only has one TA slot and we’re rivals

I found your USB drive still in the computer

I thought I was the only one who liked the waffle station in the cafeteria

You keep reserving the good study room in the corner of the library with the windows

We’re studying in the library and there are two people very obviously fucking in the stacks and we keep sharing embarrassed glances

We’re both donating blood in the blood donation van in the quad to get out of the same class

You decked me in the head while you were playing Frisbee golf

Wait, I actually have a competent lab partner?

You’re the RA and you’re trying to bust me for having hermit crabs

You’re baking cookies in the communal kitchen at 3am and I’m angry but also really hungry

What are you doing at this table at the career fair

Waiting for office hours

I’ve been sitting in this seat all semester why did you decide to sit in it today

Clearly we’re both really uncomfortable at this party

You peed on my car. You were drunk. I was in the car. There will be hell to pay.

We started racing up the three flights of stairs to class for some reason and we can’t stop

You’re REALLY GOOD at using the right search terms for the academic databases and I’m on a deadline

both stuck in the dorm common room because their respective roommates needed “alone time”

my friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex quick make out with me

we’re always at the fitness center at the same time and end up competing on the treadmill

Can I borrow a dryer sheet? I ran out and the ones in the vending machine give me a rash

Your school mailbox is right next to mine

I saw you sneaking captain crunch and cutlery out of the dining hall

My roommate borrowed your contraband hotpot and managed to set it on fire

You keep using my preferred shower stall in the floor bathrooms when I’m trying to get ready for class

My computer crashed and you’re the student worker at the IT center

we’re both on athletic teams that aren’t as cool as the football team and they give us shit

You’re part of the guerrilla theater club on campus and crashed my class for a performance

What do you mean we’re under a tornado warning?

it’s 3am, in the dead of winter, some motherfucker pulled/set off the fire alarm and I am being very vocal about how I’m going to make that fucker pay

you’re the fucker who set off the fire alarm with your awful cooking

I’m the fucker who set off the fire alarm with my awful cooking

my shower isn’t working can I use yours

RA mandated floor party

I couldn’t help but notice you’re watching a show I like instead of studying in the computer lab

dude your headphones are really loud like I can make out most of Kanye’s lyrics and I’m sitting across the fucking room

Hey the semester’s almost over and I have way too much money on my cafeteria account, do you want anything??? this shit’s just going to disappear into the college’s pocket otherwise

THERE IS A BOUNCY CASTLE IN THE OVAL AND I AM VERY EXCITED

I’ve ordered take out every night this week and you always seem to be my delivery person

we’re both skipping class to study for a different class

you live above me and I’m going to murder you if you don’t stop throwing parties Sunday night

there’s only one study room left in the dorm basement and I don’t want to walk to the library, let’s fight for it

I swear I’m wearing this Batman costume because of a dare

The guy with the bibles on the quad has cornered me and is screaming about hell, please rescue me

lecture room bingo for annoying things your prof says

you’re obviously high or hungover so I’m going to rescue you and tell the teacher why your answer wasn’t as strange as it sounded, but you’ll owe me

holy fuck you found me on the roof please don’t be an RA

You’re standing right next to me while we’re both flyering and catching all of the people walking past before I can

Alternatively, we’re standing right next to each other while flyering and hey, are you as miserable as I am right now?

We can’t both listen to our music in the shower at the same time

Both of us are super bored at this mandatory floor meeting

We both work really late shifts on Friday Nights and you give me a ride home so I don’t have to walk alone in the dark

You’re the only one who actually responded to the desperate message I sent to the whole class about needing the notes

All the seats in this huge fucking lecture hall and you have to sit right next to me

I’m sorry you caught me moving your clothes out of the dryer but in my defense I’ve been waiting for one to open up for about an hour now

We were both running for the bus and it didn’t wait for us, so now we’re at this bus stop together alone

Are you the one who keep leaving their dirty dishes in the common area kitchen

You posted that you needed to borrow something on the floor’s Facebook group and I just so happen to have what you need

I want to buy your football ticket/textbook/etc. so we have to meet up

Every single table in the union is full, do you mind if I just sit here for a while?

“we heard meningitis is going around and we’re both terrified and buying hand sanitizer in bulk”

the only ones in the dorm that go out for thirsty Thursday

met doing laundry at 2am college au

accidentally knocked on the wrong dorm room college au

picked up the wrong book when we bumped into each other college au

Hey exchange student why don’t you can come to mine for thanksgiving?? college au

walked in on you in the shower college au

drunkenly hooked up but you’re dating my roommate who already hates me college au

the always-partying kid falls for the always-studying kid college au

heard a scream and thought you were getting killed but it was just a spider college au

I really hate you but you have the highest grades in class and I need help college au

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