You might have heard that Trump tapped wrestling magnate Linda McMahon to lead the Small Business Administration. PEOTUS assures 'Murica that McMahon will "bring back our jobs and roll back the burdensome regulations that are hurting our middle class."
McMahon, CEO of World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc., (f/k/a/ WWF) gave lots of money to Trump and raised an entire generation of little boys to collect Hulk Hogan and Jake the Snake action figures, dress up in polyester capes, and jump on each other in their parents' basements until someone, inevitably, ended up in a cast.
So what other pro wrestlers is Trump considering for cabinet posts? Here's a preliminary list of those who have made the ultimate sacrifice by setting aside their famous "feuds" to serve the American Public in positions befitting their names:
Adam Bomb (Department of Defense)
Haystacks Calhoun (Department of Agriculture)
Macho Man Randy Savage (Department of Justice)
Nikoli Volkoff (Secretary of State)
Professor Toru Tanaka (Department of Education)
The Executioner (Department of Homeland Security)
Tugboat (Department of Transportation)
The Ultimate Warrior (Department of Veterans Affairs)
Buzz Sawyer (Department of the Interior)
Dr. Death Steve Williams (Department of Health and Human Services)
Bad News Brown (Department of Housing and Urban Development)
Mike Awesome (Department of Commerce)
Gorilla Monsoon (Department of Energy)
Goldberg (Department of Treasury)
The Godfather (Department of Labor)