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No matter what you do, you can’t emotionally satisfy the Brazilian lady. A swallow does not make a summer. Is Brazil a perfect setting for Lobsang Rampa’s weird postulation on some modern-day ladies’ mean outlook on the marriage institution with reckless high demand for sex – wherever they can get it – only to satisfy their fleshly lust and nothing more?
British writer Rampa (born Cyril Henry Hoskin), in one of his novels, I Believe, writes about the levity with which the womenfolk handle the legitimate man-woman union but emphasises sexual satisfaction by whatever means, in the name of (women) liberation, which he calls the worst form of civilisation.
According to the writer, “Have you seen how marriage is deteriorating nowadays? Some women want to just shack up with a man and have as much sex as they want, and then if the man crosses them in any way at all, they just pick up their traps and out they go to the nearest man who will have them.”
All over the world, the marriage institution is in a delicate situation, thus it is not strange or odd if one reads stories about discord between a man and his wife.
But this writer was told stories that sounded more awful during his recent visit to Brazil for the 2014 FIFA World Cup. For someone coming from a background where the marriage institution, though is not completely devoid of rancours, is sancrosant the stories sounded like fairy tales. Saturday Tribune was let into this odd ‘lifestyle’ first, by someone who has actually experienced this raw deal.
Adesola (not real name) is a Nigerian from Abeokuta, but who has been living in Sao Paulo since 2000. He has just two children, but by two Brazilian women. “The average Brazilian lady is impatient, she never can stay long in marriage,” Adesola said. But could it not be that he himself was impatient or so irresponsible that either of the two mothers of his children could not tolerate?
Adesola’s two kids stay with their mothers and he visits them on weekends, but surprisingly, he says he still invites any of the two women over to his place anytime for sex.
“No, that is not the case, no matter what you do, you can’t emotionally satisfy the Brazilian lady,” he told Saturday Tribune. A swallow does not make a summer. Adesola went on to relate the story of another Nigerian who had suffered similar fate. “Mojeed (also a resident of Sao Paulo) already has five children by five Brazilian women,” he said. But like someone on a cue, Yinka, a Nigerian lady present at the discussion, interjected, “Ah, o ma ti n lo si mewa” (it is already more than five, it is almost ten now). Ten children by ten women?!!!
‘Sola gives a more graphic mindset of the Brazilian lady: “This very moment, she can tell you she loves you, and the next she can say it is all over. Once she says ‘mo achabul’, that is the end.” “Mo achabul?” “Yes, it means it is finished,” he said.
And it is not uncommon to see the mother of a distraught Brazilian lady leading the ‘campaign’ for her daughter’s exit for her husband’s house. Once they make up their minds to leave their matrimonial homes, their mothers are always in the forefront of their children moving out, they don’t mind packing out their daughters loads on their behalf,” Adesola said.
He also underlined the Brazilian ladies’ love for merry making. “Just tell them let’s go to samba, you will see them in high spirits,” he added. This aspect of their lifestyle was very much on display during the World Cup tournament as they turned every match day involving the Selecao into a carnival, donning attires that at best pass for bedroom wears to public places.
Not convinced or satisfied with this, I raised the issue with a group of Nigerians I met in Salvador, when I got to the capital of the Bahia State. “Ikan ninu won sese ba omo wa kan kanle laipe yi ni,” (one of them [Brazilian ladies] has just wrecked a fellow Nigerian) was the submission of Debola who says she has been in Brazil for about two decades. Debola explained that the Nigerian guy in question, of Igbo extraction, who was living in Sao Paulo at the time, was married to a Brazilian lady for many years without an issue between them.
The most unfortunate thing for the Igbo guy, Debola said, was that he was operating a joint account and jointly acquiring properties with the Brazilian lady while their relationship lasted. But when she finally decided to end it all, she gained possession of all these. Thereafter the dejected Igbo man got himself a young girl from Nigeria and both of them reside in Salvador today.
But another Nigerian living in Salvador, Ajoke, despite the Brazilians’ excesses, differs. She argues that there are Brazilian couples who have been married for upwards of 30 years and are still together today, though she also told of how she had to warn another Nigerian who was almost going to make the same mistake made by the Igbo guy.
“I am a woman and I know how we can change overnight when given so much liberty,” she said while explaining the reason she faulted the other Nigerian man’s plan to commit much of his fortune into his Brazilian wife’s care.
Perhaps highlife musician the late Adeolu Akinsanya had not visited Brazil by the time he sang in one of his numbers: “Awon angeli ile m be l’Oshodi” – or perhaps he never did in his entire life – because an average Brazilian lady is a potential queen – beautiful, delectable and shapely – and they are available, just for the asking, to any man who desires to lust after the flesh. The very adventurous ones among them are also said to be ‘crazy’ about the black men, who they believe have superior sexual prowess to their own menfolk.
In Sao Paulo, Adesola made efforts to match-make a Nigerian who was ready to sow his wild oat, with a particular Brazilian lady who had been longing for a black man, following the ‘testimonies’ of some of her colleagues. It was the lady’s prime desire, according to Adesola, to be laid by a black man. But all calls put through to the lady’s mobile line that night were unanswered.
The story was not different in Salvador where Bayo, who has spent over three years in Brazil, talked about how he has been ‘dealing’ with the Brazilian ladies. “Ojo kerin ti mo wo ilu yi ni moti bere ise,” literally, I started ‘work’ just on the fourth day I arrived in this country. Now he has almost lost count. By the same evening of the day he made this statement, a pretty Brazilian lady came visiting him and as the lady was ascending the stairs, he turned to me and another Nigerian who were with him: “Number seven ni mbo hun o,” (that’s number seven coming). This prompted the question as to how many number of Brazilian girlfriends he had, to which he said, “I have lost count.”
During the stopover in Casablanca, Morocco on my way back to Nigeria, a co-Nigeria-bound passenger willingly opened up on his escapades in Brazil, where he spent barely one week.
“Walahi, I enjoyed myself in Brazil. I slept with two Brazilian ladies, beautiful girls without blemish within one week,” he said. But for providence, he would have missed his flight from Sao Paulo to Casablanca en route Nigeria as he was already making arrangements for a third one. He had taken departure from Sao Paulo to be 3.15p.m. instead of 3.15 a.m.
Also in Brazil, same-sex thrives with abandon as the law of the land allows its unfettered practice. A literature I picked up at Rodoviario (bus station) in Salvador on entering the Bahia State capital states unequivocally: “Bahia is renowned for hospitality of its people; every year, it welcomes thousands of gays, lesbians, transvestites, transgenders…” There is no hinderance to the practice in any part of the country, but it was in Sao Paulo I witnessed discussion come up on this.
Many of the Nigerian journalists that were in Brazil for the last FIFA World Cup were based in Sao Paulo from where they travelled to different parts of the country for the tournament. But in Sao Paulo we lodged in different hotels across the city. So anytime we came together, often at match venues, we shared different related events with one another as they unfolded in our respective areas.
I stayed at a hotel in Tiete very close to the central bus station, while people like John Ebhota, The Nation’s Photo Editor and veteran of African Cup of Nations, Olympic Games and the FIFA World Cup, lodged at Republika, in the heart of Sao Paulo. Ipa (as Ebhota is affectionately called), after the Argentina-Holland semi-final fixture, had recalled what he believed was a more bizarre experienced than mine.
“Wetin you dey talk? You need to see dem for our area. Na korokoro like dis dem dey practise lesbianism and gay, dem no get shame. The place wey dem do the tin, na evil forest we dey call am,” Ebhota said of his experience of the Brazilians practising same-sex.
In my own case, I had approached Mauro, an official at the hotel I was lodging in, in Sao Paulo for a reduction in the rate I was paying daily after my claim to being a loyal customer to the hotel. It was the first hotel I lodged in on my arrival in Brazil and after my rigmarole journeys to some other Brazilian cities in the course of the tournament, I returned to the same hotel.
To get a reduction, Mauro, who says he has lived in the United States and Canada in the past jokingly said I would have to share a room with a she-male. “Lady-boy,” he called him or her(?). “What? In Nigeria, it is not allowed, culprits will serve 14-year jail term,” I told him.
But Mauro sees this as abnormal. “That is apartheid, there is apartheid in Nigeria. In South Africa, it was apartheid against the black people, in Nigeria, it is apartheid against freedom. (Nelson) Mandela needs to come back into the world to set the Nigerian society free. That system is not democratic”
I explained to him that there is no apartheid of any form in Nigeria. I added that we elect lawmakers who represent us and make laws according to our dictate. “We don’t mix civil laws with religion in Brazil, the laws allow you to be whatever you want to be – male, female, gay, lesbian, anything,” Mauro explained.
But I asked him, “You are Jewish, the bible you read, does it encourage same-sex practice?” “No,” he said.