TRUSKE, SHARON DEANS Sharon Deans, arrived June 19, 1939 Sharon Truske, left June 12, 2013 Sharon's childhood was in Norfolk Virginia where she enjoyed tales told by her mother's father, a retired steam boat captain at his home on Mary Kay cove. When Sharon was seven, her mother, Louise, divorced James Deans, Sharon's father, and married Jack Schaefer. Sharon and her younger sisters Claudia and Stephanie then moved to Westport Connecticut with Jack and Louise where Sharon spent her pre and early teen years. The family had two horses that the girls enjoyed caring for and riding. Later Jack bought a ranch south of Santa Fe where Sharon continued high school. She was surprised at the lower academic expectations in NM compared to Connecticut. The ranch was operated by ranch hands of the Archie West family that charmed Sharon and her sisters and helped the girls make the transition from riding English to western saddles. The West family remain friends with Sharon and her family. The family later lived near Canyon road in Santa Fe and the north valley in Albuquerque. Sharon began study at the University of NM, continued at the University of Arizona, and returned to UNM to graduate with a BA in political science. Sharon then moved to Los Angeles to start graduate study at UCLA. She also began work as a legal aide in a law firm. At this time she took a cross country trip with a black friend who surprised Sharon when she spoke differently depending on where the two women were: Ghetto accent where helpful, educated upper class otherwise. The trials of working and going to school in LA led Sharon to return to NM and begin work with the Department of Human Services. She especially enjoyed her early work placing adopted infants with their new families. She retired after twenty five years as a case worker known for the error free quality of her case work and her dedication to fully inform her clients so they really understood their options. She never was rancorous or hold a grudge when faced with unkindness. Ted was always impressed by her restraint. She had an exceptional work ethic. Sharon proposed changes to bureaucratic procedures and welfare legislation and came to wonder about the honesty of some of the persons involved in the political processes of NM. Sharon met Ted at an ice cream social on the Fourth of July, 1976 at the Unitarian Church in Albuquerque. Meeting on the two hundredth anniversary of our nation had an epic aspect she and Ted enjoyed. Sharon smoked cigarettes when she met Ted who did not smoke. As their relationship progressed she decided to quit smoking and did so within a month, cold turkey which was impressive. Ted frequently proposed to Sharon over the years until she finally accepted his proposal after living together for twenty years. She was a rational, insightful stepmother to Ted's children, Peter, Connie and Karen. She provided pragmatic guidance to her stepchildren in a loving, caring and supportive way as though they were her own children. Sharon was influential and a true mother figure to Karen, the youngest of Ted's children. Sharon's nature complemented Agnes', their birth mother's spontaneous and imaginative qualities. Over the years, Sharon and Agnes enjoyed discussing the children and aspects of Ted's behavior and world outlook. Sharon's experience in co-consulting helped Ted raise his level of empathy and understanding in personal relationships. An example of Sharon's principled nature is when her mother inherited Jack Schaefer's intellectual property rights for his books and writings, including the western novel Shane. After Louise died those rights passed to Sharon and her sisters but not Jack's children. Sharon contacted the Schaefer children and set up a trust including Jack's natural and step children. It was the right thing to do and it was what Sharon did all the time. Sharon loved books, mysteries and classic works of literature. Ted would surprise her with a "bodice ripper" then of popular taste. Ted was never sure if they were a guilty pleasure but her response of "ewwww" with a wry smile from Sharon was part of the game. She asked Ted not to tell anyone she read those books. She liked all the plays she saw at the Adobe Theater, especially the funny ones. In recent years Sharon enjoyed the lecture programs at Oasis, especially those that challenged erroneous historic and scientific perceptions. Her tastes in music were broad, refined and subtle, there did not seem to be any music she did not appreciate though she preferred chamber music, especially Beethoven quartets. She came to accommodate Ted's interest in opera. It never really captured Sharon though she eventually became more than just a polite listener. She studied classic guitar for several years but chose to be a serious listener instead. Her taste in art was astute and concentrated on renaissance and impressionist artist's works. She also had an amazing eye for spotting fake Dali works often on display in studios in Santa Barbara when she visited her parents which was confirmed by subsequent news reports. She had an appreciative curiosity that fit the travel interest she shared with Ted. She had adventures in a variety of trips to Europe and Asia. A special trip to the wedding of a relative being married to the daughter of a champagne producer in Reims, France, seeing her sixteen year old step daughter on the promenade in Cannes and mistaking her for a starlet at the film festival, talking an Italian border guard out of detaining her and Ted after Ted misheard the guard and backed over the edge of the boot toe of the man, he was not hurt but angry and embarrassed. Sharon calmed him and he subsequently waved them on, no doubt thinking, "poor woman, married to an idiot." Her ability to calm an irate male served Sharon well over the years with Ted. On a trip to Kyoto, Japan in January she became enraptured of the snow covered roofs outside their ryokan inn, it was an image like an ancient wood print of a moon lit scene. Traveling to the Japanese Alps to Lake Hokone, while stooped over in a cable car not built for tall westerners and a lake boat constructed to appear like a Portuguese caravel of the fifteenth century are memories of her travels. Sharon was treated with extra deference on the South Korean Cheju island and its matriarchal society and she interacted with a harmonica playing, juvenile elephant at the Le Meridien resort in Phuket Thailand, just two days after being held by Malaysian agitators for an hour after the Phuket airport had closed and their van to the resort was used by the van driver to carry weapons to others who they learned in the next day's news had been apprehended by police. Another memory of them riding the sleeper compartment train to Chiang Mai in northern Thailand with the sleeper car having the atmosphere of Fort Lauderdale at spring break reflects Sharon's tolerance. On a trip from Vienna their luggage was stolen and Sharon had to contend with Valkyrien women in a Zurich store basement sales section for critical under garments and won. Sharon was in awe of the timeless aura of Pompeii and Herculanium, followed by a seven course dinner in Sorrento. A truffle oriented dinner in Bologna, Italy ended with Ted being talked down by Sharon from a breathing scare perhaps caused by excess truffle consumption. Memories of Sharon waking from a nap in the car to be surprised by the Dolomites; enjoying a quiet stay at a castle in Montepulciano, compari and snacks at a lake side bar on Lake Como. Rome, Paris, Vienna, Geneva, Saltzburg, Bern, Lucerne, the hotel Alpenblick's sunset views of the Eiger, Monch and Jungfrau in Murren, Antwerp, Amsterdam, Bruges, Brussels, Tokyo, Kyoto, Seoul, Bangkok. From tasty green onion pancakes at the Korean folk village on a blustery January morning to lunches in a humble business man's hotel restaurant absent of foreigners in Bangkok, Sharon welcomed the novel and unique. Local trips included staying in a haunted bayou mansion on the Mississippi and travel in Cajun country, visits to friends in Pensacola and Hot Springs Arkansas to attend film festivals. There were many other trips including miscellaneous travel to the gulf coast, New Orleans, the west coast from Vancouver for a world's fair and south to San Diego and the northern Mexican cities for week end trips. Trips to Virginia to meet Sharon's relatives and to Chicago to meet Ted's family, trips to the Grand Canyon with friends were always enjoyed. Sharon had a true sense of adventure and joy with every travel experience. There was no aspect of travel, people, places, food and history that Sharon did not savor fully. Her nature regarding religion was wide ranging. She appreciated that many find comfort in certainty and biblical traditions and wanted such comfort for herself but her intellect moved her to the more analytical stance of a secular humanist. She truly believed that we can rise above our meaner natures and make the world a better place. She understood enough history to know how religious certainty and fervor compounded by pathologies in human nature have brought about terrible episodes of inhumanity through the ages. She believed in the power of love and that the human spirit lives on and is perhaps infinite in some way. She believed that love endures. In situations where Ted would contend with Sharon over some trivial issue, she in her wisdom would finally ask, "do you love me?" and sanity would prevail. Sharon understood human peculiarities, especially of the male flavor and had the intelligence and heart to interact with love and reason. In addition, because of her experience with bi-polar issues Sharon became knowledgeable, about health care alternatives. She was a student of health, and knew a lot about alternative supplements, nutrition and new scientific developments. She helped Ted and the children with supplement choices and in particular those that might help ameliorate the symptoms of the multiple sclerosis that affected Ted. Over the years Ted believed that the nutrient regimes suggested by Sharon kept his symptoms limited to occasional fatigue and weakness in his right leg. Sharon died June 12th, one week before her 74th birthday, Wednesday at 1:00 PM after a morning of Ted sharing with her and her responding to his reading of idiocies in the morning paper. Around noon she began breathing shallowly and he spoke to her as she passed. She had acknowledged him with her eyes opening more as he told her she was loved. When Sharon was told of her terminal cancer on February 5th she asked the oncologist how much time she had. Reluctantly the doctor told Sharon maybe two to six months. As was her nature, Sharon wanted to know exactly what she was dealing with. Sharon, after radiation treatments in the hospital and nursing home came home for round the clock hospice care in April. It is hard for to believe that a person as vibrant and alive as Sharon has left us. Framed within her pragmatic outlook she always looked at the rational side of events. Her friends remember her as a kind, involved soul who always participated in all our dinner groups' dynamics. Knowing her at gatherings over the years showed that she was a stalwart of any group and added much to the group dynamic. Knowing her was always interesting and delightful. She had a deep sense of humor, witty and realistic, steadfastly curious and often surprised, touched or inspired by people and events. She had an interesting and, in many ways, a delightful life. Sharon was principled, intelligent, brave, bright and beautiful. It seems unfair that someone so alive can pass so quickly. As friends and family, we will miss her and keep Sharon in a special place in our memory. May she rest in peace.